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Unread 06-08-2019, 11:49 AM
seethesun seethesun is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 6
Exclamation scared of myself

Don't get me wrong, I like people and I am always trying to be nice to everyone. But I do not like to get to know them. It's like, they have their lifes, I have mine, we maybe spend time but that is it. I have no problem of connection with others it is just that I dont want to continue some silly friendships based on small talks. I have a few friends which understand my nature and that is fine. I like spending time by myself, I love to read thoughts of other people about things I'm interested and then I love to analyse everything in my head. I accept and understand that other people choices and thoughts are not my problem and I can't judge them so most people like me for that attitude.

the biggest problem is my career life. In order to be a successful I have to talk to them. And it would be fine if people could only stick to the business talks. But they usually dont and they are telling me their personal stuff so I instantly start panicking because I dont want to be friends or talk about my view of life.
and I really want to work. and to be career women.
it's stressing me to the point where I overthink every situation and rethink every word I said for the rest of the day.

when it comes to my social life, maybe it will sound like bragging but whenever I go out in "public" people notice me. strangers will come and talk to me. it doesnt matter if it is a women or a man, young or old they just come and talk with me. many times I got something which others didn't. I don't ask for that but it is happening.
I often hear compliments that I look exotic, that I have something weird and mysterious in myself, that I am a very good person. they think of me as smart, they ask advices, they tell me their secrets and I didn't ask for any of that.

I don't think about myself in that way. I often feel stupid and in some way autistic for unknown reason.

Maybe I just don't like the fact that people are so nice to me for no reason and then I feel like I need to justify that.

sorry for long text maybe someone can give their opinion, I would be thankful.
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