-------> haha I'm a little curious to know how you confronted him! Please do tell!
Ha! I won't go into too much detail because the effects of my actions had its backlash and I paid for it for a long time, so I don't want to reexamine that part of my life. Sometimes I think I'm still repaying for the damage I caused because it wasn't just my ex that was damaged, I got badly damaged in the process too.
Basically, I was at work on a Thursday morning when the confrontation started. The feeling was unbearable.
I broke into his email account, read what was being exchanged, forwarded all of that to my email, deleted any signs of his emails being forwarded to my email address. That was the "cool and methodical" side. Then the breakage came afterwards when my brain and emotions shattered and I cried profusely in the bathroom for an hour and my hand bleed from punching the bathroom stalls...
I walked out and looked like h3ll. Everyone around me could feel my seething anger ready to explode and no one said a word. I calmly walked over to HR and told the director that I had received some bad personal news and I needed to take the rest of the day as a personal. I walked back to my cubicle and called Sean (my ex) and asked if he'd like to lunch with me, which really shocked him. We hadn't lunched together in over a year, despite us working less than a mile away from each other. He agreed to meet me at 12:30pm at a restaurant nearby. This was at 10:30am. I printed up the email exchanges and walked towards his office. I planned to show up earlier so I could bust him and his coworker.
I walked into his work (architecture firm), played it nice with the receptionist breezed right through without her calling Sean to tell him I was coming. I walked in, saw that his coworker was gone but I left the printed email exchanges on her desk just to let her know I knew what she was saying about me.
I walked over to Sean's desk... his back was turned and trust me, I thought of whacking him with something blunt. I just stood behind him quietly for a moment, and then he shuttered and turned around really shocked to see me there. I said, "Hi, Honey." He looked at his watch and saw that it was barely 11am but knew that something bad will happen because we had been together for 7 years and NOT once have I ever called him any conventional pet names. I said "honey" to mimic his coworker who calls him "honey." LOL
We walked out of the office building and he asked me how my day was and I just basically repeated the lines that his coworkers wrote through their email exchanges. He knew that I knew.
We walked to the restaurant we originally agreed to meet at, and I just sat there staring darts at him and said, "For the very last time. I want you to be honest with yourself and honest to me, are you having an affair with your coworker Amy? Think very carefully about your response, because I know what the correct answer is." He was sweating profusely but he said, "No, she's just a friend I talk with." I said, "Oh really? And do you deem it appropriate that she judges your wife so poorly when she has NEVER met me? The worst part is, I wasn't there to defend myself but it shows what a spineless waste of space you are that you can't defend me against some low life homewreaker taking liberties trashing my name and reputation. If this is the end of the road for us, I'd rather you be honest to tell me than have me dig for vague answers." He started to cry (I really HATED him at this point) and reached over to touch my hand but I walked away without saying anything.
I disappeared for 3 days and turned off my phone. He had called and texted me (literally) over 100 times during that time, begged me to come home and speak to him, etc. During that time, the only communication I had was indirect communication via email. I first forwarded his emails to his family. His parents, esp. his mother always held the notion that I was beneath him and I would only make him unhappy, when in reality, it was the other way around. I said some really nasty things in my email addressed to his parents. After that, I forwarded the email exchanges to his coworker's fiance and wrote to him saying that if he wants to marry his fiancee, he should know that she's always been a serial cheater and there is proof in the emails because she admits to it. And finally, I wrote to Amy, the coworker and told her that she has to really watch out who she messes with because I know she knows where I live but I also in turn knows where she lives and if she ever came near me, I will break every bone in her body and dispose her in a nice woodsy spot where no one would find her (I actually meant that, I wasn't joking). To further add to it, I said if I'm not the one to do it, and she doesn't have to directly deal with my rage, someone else will destroy her for interfering with their lives. I said something very Saturnine... kinda eerie, "You can't escape consequence but only delay it. A day of reckoning will come and you will know my pain."
I cried and slept a lot in the motel room. I didn't eat nor want to get out of the room. That was the beginning of some gruelsome psychological warfare. Eventually I came back and tormented him for 2 more months with my volatile emotions that clashed with my usually rational nature... all before pushing him over the edge of sanity and then I sent him packing to live with his father and started the divorce process.
You know, in Vedic astrology they say women with Mars in the 8th are ones who cause their husband's demise. I can't say that it's untrue in my case...
AQ7