Romantically hopeless?

I've been single for most of my life, and I've noticed that while I've had plenty of crushes, not single long lasting relationship has been established. Examining my past relationships, I always end up with guys that are unavailable. If they're single, soon after I meet them, another (prettier) woman arrives immediately, and I'm...tossed aside.

Why does this keep happening to me? I've examined my chart, and I'm not sure but would it have something to do with the fact that my Black Moon Lilith (0 degrees Leo) and Dark Moon Lilith (Cancer) are in my 5th house, the house of Love given? I've read that these placements may mean that I'm:

1. too selfish,
2. I'll either be a bad mother or have problems conceiving,
3. and that in relationships of love, there'll always be another competitor.

I don't feel like Leo, despite all that Leo in my chart. I'm not charismatic or pretty or talented or anything. Yet, I still have that Leo pride. Are my Leo placements weak because they're in the 6th house?

Will I ever fall in love with someone that'll love me? Or no matter what I do in life, there'll always be another (better) girl that I'll lose to?

When will a guy choose me first?

it seems to me that this could be a product of your Pisces Ascendant. Pisces here can make its natives somewhat prone to the martyr/saviour complex (I have the same placement so believe me, I can relate here!) which can lead to you choosing unsatisfactory partners either because you think you can save unsuitable people or because you think yourself into the victim role (why does this always happen to me?! etc).

Or, what might also be going on is Venus in Leo leads you to choose men who look good on your arm and bring you a lot of attention. These may not always be the best men to consider for long-term happiness.

But also, there's that Moon (ruler of your 5th house) in Gemini. Do you even want a deep romance or could you be happier with something a little more light and casual? Sometimes we tell ourselves we want things simply because we think we ought to want them

Or is it the case that with Virgo on your Descendant, you have rather high expectations of a person you're going to enter into a relationship with, and people just aren't up to the challenge?

I would tend to ignore the Lilith factor, as it's not used by all astrologers, and there's already enough in your chart to ponder over without it!

boom said:

I've been single for most of my life, and I've noticed that while I've had plenty of crushes, not single long lasting relationship has been established. Examining my past relationships, I always end up with guys that are unavailable. If they're single, soon after I meet them, another (prettier) woman arrives immediately, and I'm...tossed aside.

Why does this keep happening to me? I've examined my chart, and I'm not sure but would it have something to do with the fact that my Black Moon Lilith (0 degrees Leo) and Dark Moon Lilith (Cancer) are in my 5th house, the house of Love given? I've read that these placements may mean that I'm:

1. too selfish,
2. I'll either be a bad mother or have problems conceiving,
3. and that in relationships of love, there'll always be another competitor.

I don't feel like Leo, despite all that Leo in my chart. I'm not charismatic or pretty or talented or anything. Yet, I still have that Leo pride. Are my Leo placements weak because they're in the 6th house?

Will I ever fall in love with someone that'll love me? Or no matter what I do in life, there'll always be another (better) girl that I'll lose to?

When will a guy choose me first?

Click to expand...

To me it's not the Pisces Ascendant, nor the 6th house Stellium, rather is the Pluto in Scorpio in the 7th house.
Maybe you are just atracted to problematic guys... I think you kind like some complications...

Have you ever thought that maybe, they don't stick with you because they have own emotional problems, they're nor stable, or they don't want serious relationships, or perhaps because you could be also bad tempered...?
Beauty are more taken in consideration when you first meet someone, and for SEX/passional relationships... but it's not what you want, right? But maybe those guys just want that... Sex...
When you find true love, beauty get on second plan... if a guy love you, he 'll stay with you for what you are...
With a Pisces Ascendant you are for sure very cute, you must accept yourself... You say you have leonine pride, so... You must start believing that the problem is from the guys your choose...
Some things come with time... be selective... and have patience.

i'd say because your first and 7th house are included within, you are likely to experience problems with partnerships, relationships etc etc. also i would count your leo mars in the 5th house instead of 6th, which may make you very dominating in relationships once a guy gets to know you. i dont see the 7th house pluto being an issue at all....

Just going to go with a personal anecdote here... I had a female friend who had a chart similar to yours. Tons of Leo and grand fire trines. She was beautiful, smart and artistically inclined. She succeeded at anything she did and was pleasant to be around. However, for all the fire in her chart, she seemed to lack the initiative energy needed to confidently begin relationships. Perhaps her leonine pride made her feel like it was beneath her to go after a guy -- they needed to come after her or it wouldn't happen. Maybe because some aspects of her life had developed so easily (grand trines!), she didn't really know how to do the messy/unpredictable compromising and getting to know each other required of the beginning of a friendship/relationship. She waited until her beauty/talent/smarts attracted people to her. And when it didn't, she felt freaking hurt and sad!

I think your moon issues are key here. Moon opposite both Uranus and Neptune is causing your expectations and emotions to go awry. You may blow hot and cold with your whims, become disenchanted with people frequently, etc.

Maybe expecting a traditional "normal" relationship is the real issue?

Thanks for all the responses!

Inconjunct said:

it seems to me that this could be a product of your Pisces Ascendant. Pisces here can make its natives somewhat prone to the martyr/saviour complex (I have the same placement so believe me, I can relate here!) which can lead to you choosing unsatisfactory partners either because you think you can save unsuitable people or because you think yourself into the victim role (why does this always happen to me?! etc).

Click to expand...

LOL I really am like that all the time. Even my OP shows that sort of behavior pretty obviously. I cry so much and keep asking "Why does this always happen to me?" I get so scared of facing the world and ask other people to give me specific direction.

Inconjunct said:

Or, what might also be going on is Venus in Leo leads you to choose men who look good on your arm and bring you a lot of attention. These may not always be the best men to consider for long-term happiness.

Click to expand...

I'll concede that I always go for the same guy. Passionate, charismatic, popular, etc. I'm just really attracted to really fun, fiery type of guys. But I suppose if he's popular, he has choices...and those choices never involve me. Do you think I should try a different type of guy? But it's always like, even when a guy is available, something happens out of the blue, and all of a sudden there's someone else. Why? I don't think I can control that situation from arising.

Inconjunct said:

But also, there's that Moon (ruler of your 5th house) in Gemini. Do you even want a deep romance or could you be happier with something a little more light and casual? Sometimes we tell ourselves we want things simply because we think we ought to want them

Click to expand...

I do want to feel a deep romance, but I want it to be...fun? I guess what I'm saying is that I don't necessarily expect that every crush/almost relationship is supposed to turn out to be the "love of my life." I just...want to fall in love with someone, and know what it's like to be loved in return. I don't know if that makes sense.

Inconjunct said:

Or is it the case that with Virgo on your Descendant, you have rather high expectations of a person you're going to enter into a relationship with, and people just aren't up to the challenge?

Click to expand...

I don't think I have high expectations...more of a type? Maybe? It's not like every guy I like is a carbon copy of the previous one. They have a handful of similar traits, like charisma, but even then, that can manifest itself in a ton of different ways.

Raquel said:

To me it's not the Pisces Ascendant, nor the 6th house Stellium, rather is the Pluto in Scorpio in the 7th house.
Maybe you are just atracted to problematic guys... I think you kind like some complications...

Have you ever thought that maybe, they don't stick with you because they have own emotional problems, they're nor stable, or they don't want serious relationships, or perhaps because you could be also bad tempered...?
Beauty are more taken in consideration when you first meet someone, and for SEX/passional relationships... but it's not what you want, right? But maybe those guys just want that... Sex...
When you find true love, beauty get on second plan... if a guy love you, he 'll stay with you for what you are...
With a Pisces Ascendant you are for sure very cute, you must accept yourself... You say you have leonine pride, so... You must start believing that the problem is from the guys your choose...
Some things come with time... be selective... and have patience.

Click to expand...

I don't think I'm attracted to problematic guys. Like the previous post, I tend towards victim behavior. I'm pretty fiery tempered, but I rarely like to rock the boat in my relationships.

I know I need to be patient because I can't force these things, but now I'm starting to think I repel men. Or there's something about me that guys just dislike. That's why I feel like no one ever really reciprocates my feelings.

babydoll said:

i'd say because your first and 7th house are included within, you are likely to experience problems with partnerships, relationships etc etc. also i would count your leo mars in the 5th house instead of 6th, which may make you very dominating in relationships once a guy gets to know you. i dont see the 7th house pluto being an issue at all....

Click to expand...

What exactly does it mean?

saturnsayshi said:

Just going to go with a personal anecdote here... I had a female friend who had a chart similar to yours. Tons of Leo and grand fire trines. She was beautiful, smart and artistically inclined. She succeeded at anything she did and was pleasant to be around. However, for all the fire in her chart, she seemed to lack the initiative energy needed to confidently begin relationships. Perhaps her leonine pride made her feel like it was beneath her to go after a guy -- they needed to come after her or it wouldn't happen. Maybe because some aspects of her life had developed so easily (grand trines!), she didn't really know how to do the messy/unpredictable compromising and getting to know each other required of the beginning of a friendship/relationship. She waited until her beauty/talent/smarts attracted people to her. And when it didn't, she felt freaking hurt and sad!

Click to expand...

LOL. I'm seriously none of those things All I got is my Leo pride. Oddly enough, I've always been the person to instigate things in my relationships. I call first, admit my feelings first, and still get tossed aside. I really do try to put myself out there and make things happen (maybe my venus conjunct mars in Leo?), but I'm always second to someone else. I've tried to not be too aggressive, giving him space, etc. but no.

saturnsayshi said:

I think your moon issues are key here. Moon opposite both Uranus and Neptune is causing your expectations and emotions to go awry. You may blow hot and cold with your whims, become disenchanted with people frequently, etc.

Click to expand...

I guess this manifests itself in having a lot of crushes. But when I'm set on someone (I was set on someone for 2 1/2 years), I don't budge. When my feelings aren't reciprocated, I try to move on the best I can. But for whatever reason, now it just seems to weigh down on me...like, I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm just not very...lovable

saturnsayshi said:

Maybe expecting a traditional "normal" relationship is the real issue?

Click to expand...

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this. I just want to know what it's like to have my feelings reciprocated and learning how to grow from there.

that you will need to research but you'll encounter difficulties in relationships such as partnerships for example friends etc etc.

shameless bump

The North Node in the 1st house of 'self' and Pluto in the 7th house of 'Partnership' opposing Jupiter in the 1st house (self) suggests (demands in my opinion) that your primary emphasis is best placed on establishing a significant 'sense of personal identity' independent of a 'significant other'.
Otherwise (opinion) your relationships will emanate from 'need' rather than from a 'mutual and equal enrichment' .
Chiron conjunct the Moon and the relevant oppositions suggest that the way that you relate to yourself emotionally may be in need of an upgrade .
A key question (opinion) is 'Who are you as an individual', independent of any romantic involvements ?
The solution , in my opinion , is that you must first 'love yourself' (who you are , etc.) and then attract the partner 'who sees the power in who you are'.

best regards,
Ion