My marriage is over? Am I a failure? Can you read my chart?

My life is over according to me. I was studying astrology to understand what is wrong with my life. I have suffered most of my life. An year ago my husband forsook me(after 1 year of marriage, and I don't even know if he is alive? No whereabouts. He disappeared, after telling me that he doesn't love me anymore. He was quite hateful towards me.

Can you read my chart? Anything noteworthy? Thank you.

My vedic birthchart details:

1. Gemini (Rahu)
2. Cancer
3. Leo
4. Virgo
5. Libra (Jupiter, Mercury, Saturn, Sun, Venus)
6. Scorpio
7. Sagittarius (Mars, Ketu)
8. Capricorn
9. Aquarius
10. Pisces
11. Aries (Moon)
12. Taurus

My husband:

1. Sagittarius (Mars, Ketu)
2. Capricorn
3. Aquarius
4. Pisces
5. Aries
6. Taurus
7. Gemini (Rahu, Moon)
8. Cancer
9. Leo
10. Virgo
11. Libra (Jupiter, Mercury, Venus, Sun, Saturn)
12. Scorpio

If you are serious about wanting conscientious feedback, vs. playing the drama queen (no, of course your life isn't over!) please post your chart. The easiest ones to read are on the free charts pp. at www.astro.com .

Avoid using the word Drama queen. I'm really recovering from PTSD, I have lost a baby, I am a grieving mother, not a drama queen. How can you decide all that way before knowing me? I'm struggling a lot to survive. Don't build up bad karma, if you have the same destiny like me then I want to see what would you do instead, often happens with people they call others suffering drama but when they suffer themselves they shut up. Respect other people's battle with problems. Beware how you treat others. I'm regretting posting it anyways. I will cosult an honorable asrologer, who can respect the person. Shame on you. Thank you for driving me away. You must be feeling like a demi-god now, if that's how you feel better!

It's been just one week that I came to know about birthchart and all. I don't know there is astro.com. I only knew about vedic astrology. And I had no idea how to post the picture of the birthchart. I mentioned the planets and signs as they were mentioned there.

A good teacher doesn't guide people by being unreasonable. A true teacher is empathetic.

I have read people saying AWFUL things here, regarding their lives. You could tell me that this is not the right type of birthchart, it cannot be read, this is the link, post the birthchart from there. Drama queen?

Opheliac said:

It's been just one week that I came to know about birthchart and all. I don't know there is astro.com. I only knew about vedic astrology. And I had no idea how to post the picture of the birthchart. I mentioned the planets and signs as they were mentioned there.

A good teacher doesn't guide people by being unreasonable. A true teacher is empathetic.

I have read people saying AWFUL things here, regarding their lives. You could tell me that this is not the right type of birthchart, it cannot be read, this is the link, post the birthchart from there. Drama queen?

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Hmm, this is gonna be a personal advice, but if I were you I'd switch to western astrology. There are obviously discerning opinions when deciding where the zodiac signs fall, but I've seen time and time again people who say "my vedic zodiac sign is completely off!". Use the western zodiac system. It's better.

post your birth chart or your birth details for reading.

Opheliac (and jollyzal)-- I read what people write. You wrote: "Am I a failure?" and "My life is over according to me. I was studying astrology to understand what is wrong with my life. I have suffered most of my life."

I am very sorry for your losses. However, I was diagnosed with PTSD, and sadly, many women lose babies and/or have husbands who abandon them. You actually know that you are not a failure and that your life is not over or you wouldn't have posted here, hoping for a better answer. Your rebuff towards me is further evidence of sufficient self-confidence upon which to build your future. The key to horoscope interpretation then is more proactive: how can you interpret and use your chart to build a more constructive life for yourself?

If you choose to return, it is a courtesy to post your chart. One way is to cast your chart on the free charts pages at Astrodienst. Save it to your computer. At the bottom of your next message click on "go advanced," then on "manage attachments," and follow the rest of the prompts to upload a clickable thumb-nail.

I can read your chart in a western tropical zodiac format (the default at Astrodienst) but I would need to see it first.

Waybread, you are not obliged to read my birthchart. It's absolutely fine.

Im sorry to know that you were also diagnosed with PTSD. You must be aware of what happens to our brains in the initial stage. It’s terrifying. You look for magical ways to overcome that condition. That also brought me here, but I know there is no magical way. I know I didn't mention it in the main post, and maybe it seemed awkward what I said.

I reacted because I'm too sensitive. I had many near death experiences, I don't know how to explain it any further. Now I'm following Buddhism, meditating a lot, keeping the eightfold paths in my mind, but some remarks/judgements trigger anxiety, and I have a feeling of impending doom almost daily.

I checked the western birthchart, it's totally different from the vedic astrology. Nor I can understand it easily. However it seems more accurate, because I cannot relate with my Sun in Libra. I can relate more with Scorpio.

Metta to you. Namaste.

Dear Opheliac, you will emerge from this as a much stronger woman. It's the Scorpio way. I am sorry to hear about your debilitating anxiety. If you are able, cardiovascular exercise (not weight-training), like walking or running, will help the brain, as will maximizing your nutrition. Taking an adaptogen will help the brain to cope with the PTSD. Chamomile Tea is an adaptogen which is excellent for anxiety, as is Ashwagandha. If it helps, you can provide your natal data and one of us can cast the chart for you. ❤

Opheliac said:

Waybread, you are not obliged to read my birthchart. It's absolutely fine.

Im sorry to know that you were also diagnosed with PTSD. You must be aware of what happens to our brains in the initial stage. It’s terrifying. You look for magical ways to overcome that condition. That also brought me here, but I know there is no magical way. I know I didn't mention it in the main post, and maybe it seemed awkward what I said.

I reacted because I'm too sensitive. I had many near death experiences, I don't know how to explain it any further. Now I'm following Buddhism, meditating a lot, keeping the eightfold paths in my mind, but some remarks/judgements trigger anxiety, and I have a feeling of impending doom almost daily.

I checked the western birthchart, it's totally different from the vedic astrology. Nor I can understand it easily. However it seems more accurate, because I cannot relate with my Sun in Libra. I can relate more with Scorpio.

Metta to you. Namaste.

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hi Opheliac

could you post a western style chart or if the insensitive responses you have received havemade you shy, you could PM with your data and we could keep my response private

rahu
(I am not a Vedic astrologer ,I just used this name because I emphasize the north node(rahu) in my readings)

Tessie said:

Dear Opheliac, you will emerge from this as a much stronger woman. It's the Scorpio way. I am sorry to hear about your debilitating anxiety. If you are able, cardiovascular exercise (not weight-training), like walking or running, will help the brain, as will maximizing your nutrition. Taking an adaptogen will help the brain to cope with the PTSD. Chamomile Tea is an adaptogen which is excellent for anxiety, as is Ashwagandha. If it helps, you can provide your natal data and one of us can cast the chart for you. ❤

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Thank you, Tessie. I am jogging, doing yoga, and meditating twice a day. Chamomile tea sounds great, I will try it right away. I'm doing all I can according to my circumstances, I refused to take medication and relying on healing through spirituality. Honestly I found astrology to get some sense of direction, and understand the karmic debts, as I am withdrawn after losing the baby, and a failed marriage. I'm a painter, I don't know if I can accelerate in my career anymore. I will post the birthchart. Hope it shows.

rahu said:

hi Opheliac

could you post a western style chart or if the insensitive responses you have received havemade you shy, you could PM with your data and we could keep my response private

rahu
(I am not a Vedic astrologer ,I just used this name because I emphasize the north node(rahu) in my readings)

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Rahu, I will post the birthchart, I hope it works. Because I'm trying to get the hang of the features here.

This is my birthchart. Whether it's vedic or Western astrology in both the charts my 7th house seems inflicted.

I always find Astrotheme chart confusing to read. Is that a Capricorn/Cancer axis on the self/others house. Since Pluto is transit Cancer/Capricorn and these two signs are occupying the house of me vs the other, a lot of crisis, and upheaval will take place in your personal relationship, partnership (Pluto/7th house) and marriage and it will affect your self (1st house).

Moon is in conjunct with Uranus in these periods will bring a lot of sudden changes in the home atmosphere, possibly your relationship with your family. Moon already opposite Pluto/Saturn is an intense, dark aspect that is the symbol of depressive, intense, abusive, emotional life possibly living under an obsessive mother or abused as a child. Moon conjunct UR opposite PL/ST will leads to certain crisis in your emotional life, but can lead to break free or a complete shutdown or a breakdown.

I can see that you lived an abusive life. Saturn/Pluto is on the 4th house indicates a controlling family environment, or emotionally abusive and controlling, and possible death in early childhood opposite Moon just reinforce this and add non stability to your life and constant struggle.

There are going to be transformative, crisis ridden periods that can either make you or break you. It depends on your will power, self control and patience to harness the pros of these periods than the cons of it.

Opheliac said:

Thank you, Tessie. I am jogging, doing yoga, and meditating twice a day. Chamomile tea sounds great, I will try it right away. I'm doing all I can according to my circumstances, I refused to take medication and relying on healing through spirituality. Honestly I found astrology to get some sense of direction, and understand the karmic debts, as I am withdrawn after losing the baby, and a failed marriage. I'm a painter, I don't know if I can accelerate in my career anymore. I will post the birthchart. Hope it shows.

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Lovely . I can artistic inclinations with Sun/Venus, Mars/Neptune.

Thanks, Opheliac, and I am sorry if my first post came across as overly harsh.

Most days my PTSD is fine, but it does get reactivated under certain types of stressful situations.

I agree that the graphics on the Astrotheme charts make them very difficult to read. I find the ones on the free charts pages at Astrodienst www.astro.com to be much more legible.

I should also add that while I increasingly believe in reincarnation due to some recent scientific studies, I don't believe in bad karma or karmic debt from previous lifetimes. To me these are ways to make people feel guilty about something that might never have even happened.

Your chart has a "bucket" formation, with most of the planets grouped into three signs and houses, and your moon as the "handle" on the bucket. Some would even call this a "funnel" chart, with the moon as the opening of the funnel. What this means is that much of your life energy, with all of its different manifestations, needs to express itself through the moon.

The moon is essentially your emotional nature. It also represents motherhood, one's own mother, one's home, and the subconscious. With Cancer rising, the moon is also the ruler of your outward personality and body (first house) and some modern astrologers would call it your chart ruler. So you need to work with your powerful feelings in constructive ways!

Your moon is in the 10th house of career and public image, so possibly you see motherhood as a huge source of potential fulfillment for you, and a way of becoming more of who you feel yourself to be. I don't know if there are direct, practical ways for you to become a mother now, such as through a sperm donor or adoption; but if this isn't practical or culturally sanctioned for you, you might consider other ways to exercise your maternal feelings. The world is full of children who would benefit from a caring, concerned woman to help them, as a volunteer, teacher, health care provider, or family member.

Astrology can look at whether your husband is likely to return through a horary chart. This is a chart of the moment of your question, not your birth chart, and if you look at threads on the horary board, you'll get a sense of how it works. However, it sounds like you don't want him back after the way he behaved towards you, so perhaps you are ready to file for a divorce if you have not done so already.

I hope you are able to spend a little time each day on your art-- even if it is only your private sketch book, because art is a way for you to express your feelings and subconscious nature. See if you can get those feelings out on paper, as a kind of journal or diary of your inner nature.

Also, with your 4th house emphasis, your home is very important to you, so hopefully it is a supportive place for you or you can make it so.

I think the Moon opposite Saturn/Pluto squared by Lilith has to do alot with losing a child and abortion, after all Lilith frequently appears in women who lost a child.

the V, Lilith appears in all charts. Do you mean a particularly stressed Lilith?

I follow those instructions now, which were given to me above. I attached the file, and I hope it works.

Thanks, Opheliac! Much better.

I might add that one possible reading of Saturn conjunct Mercury is "negative thinking" or "depressed thinking." But thinking that you situation looks really negative isn't the same as the reality, which is probably objectively better.

OK, I would find it really tough if my husband said nasty things to me and then vanished from my life. But objectively, aren't you better off without a man who behaves that way? Loss of a wanted baby is tragic. But once you feel a little better, you can find ways, larger or small, to nurture children who would love to have you in their lives.

This too shall pass.

With all good wishes for your journey, W.