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Unread 07-20-2019, 01:42 PM
Hkk Hkk is online now
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,654
Originally Posted by cloud33 View Post
Thanks Frisiangal
I get depersonalisation with anxiety which makes everything feel very unreal and my thinking becomes muddy ( this is the bit of anxiety that is quite terrifying)
I'm basically trying to say that there is a lot to take in from your response (because my brain isn't working) but I will do my best to answer.

In both instances of anxiety, the anxiety seems to have hit me from nowhere.

In April 2015, I had to take 3 months of work because I was so unwell, but looking back I was getting bullied by an manager and I kept picking up colds around the time (stress), so maybe it was bullying triggering it in that instance.

I feel like I process my emotions unconsciously, or maybe I am just very disconnected from them.

For e.g. I can have people offloading all their problems onto me, feel absolutely fine and then wonder why I can't sleep 12 hours later - because they have dumped all their stress onto me.

When I returned to work from ill health in April 2015, I requested that my hours be reduced and I set up my own small business. (I didn't tell them that) I was given a different manager and carried on.

January 2019 after a lot of restructuring I was made redundant from this job ( I had worked in it for 18 years). The place was so bitchy and toxic I felt relieved when it happened, but it was still a difficult thing to go through after such a long time.

I finally left that job in April 2019 and have been working on my own business and felt I was doing fine, until now.

So yes I guess it is connected to work and finances.

I don't touch legal or illegal substances never interested me. My escape is probably spiritualism, although I do try to keep that in balance not go too far into the abyss.

Interestingly, on the back of HKK's comment last night. I looked up the connection between anxiety and repressed emotions and there is some interesting information out there. I do have lots of strange phobias (fears = repressed rage) So will try working on that - I have just punched a few pillows to see if that helps
Aww whatís your phobias? With Chiron in Aries maybe your feeling like a coward and then trying to beat those feelings instead of dealing with them in a more healthier way. It makes more sense now you have mentioned the things that have happened at wirk. Your not a coward so donít take me the wrong way please. What I mean is maybe thatís how YOU feel. Itís all linked to work. The feelings have been suppressed and now all coming out.
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cloud33 (07-21-2019)