Thank you so much for the analysis, what fun it was to be a rat, lol.
Please let me know if you have a question you'd like answered with the tarot via a pm and I'll send it to you at some point tomorrow (I'm pst)- if there's no question in my inbox here I'll just do a general/cold read, either works for me!
Jupiter = Mars / Saturn
Principle: To be careful and organized when one acts. The desire to be right and successful in one's actions, which could potentially inhibit one's ability to act.
*** I am a strategic thinker and I double, then triple, then quadruple check things I've already completed - this waste time.
Repressing anger leads to much pent-up energy and frustration which can potentially drain one.
***I'm quite a pacifist but when I do get angry, I shoot verbal arrows, regardless of a persons Authority or job title, I always assumed that's because I'm an INTJ and that Uranus in exact as you pointed out.
But, I'm very slow to anger!!! Misjustice, corruption, and defamation is and always will be the trigger (Mars in Libra).
Feeling inadequate about one's sexual abilities.
***I'm an exemplary lover, I am addicted to masturbation, but, I have never had sexual relations with anyone who didn't say I was the "best"- without my asking.
The desire for certainty and always knowing the outcome of things, which, at worst, can have a debilitating effect on one's creativity and ability to be open to what the universe has to offer.
****Absolutely correct!!!! This is where I have a control issue because unlike Mars in Scorpio, I believe in divine justice and hate waiting to know when someone else has a nefarious ... chess game they're playing with me. I have many enemies, I like the King of Astrology and Robert Hands thoughts on my chart which both blame my Sun Sextile Jupiter and Moon Sextile Pluto = it's pure envy.
On the positive side, this combination can manifest great technical skill and the ability to accomplish something based on careful and planned-out agendas.
***I've got a big mouth, but the cards are always at my chest, I think in the long-term.
Process: To assertively make boundaries, and to actively organize experience. To concentrate and focus one's efforts and to maintain patience and persistence when working through blockages and difficulties.
***Yes, I am a survivor and I alienate myself because I struggle with making good boundaries until a line of trust has been breached and or I'm being blackmailed/set up - additionally, I tend to playate peoples request to avoid confrontation.
Jupiter: To be enthusiastic about planning out things in advance. To over-plan what one is doing. The attempt to think of all the possible problems that could crop up in a situation and to have a back-up system for dealing with each and every one of them.
***Yes, always have plans B, C, and D on my mind - for everything, even alien abduction. Joking on the UFO's, but true again my dear.
Jupiter = Venus / Mars
rinciple: Efficiency (Marc Edmund Jones). The ability to get things done. A love of asserting oneself. To be aggressive and assertive in romance. A warm and passionate love nature.
***I'm actually rather tired of being the dominant one in the bedroom, I attract sadist and I also attract mental sadists who want me to strap up, and be either their Mama, Madame, School Marm or Mistress, and then I get those guys that are sadist and want to degrade/punish/CONTROL me, I think a middle ground or switching it up would be the best, but, I've yet to have that tantric encounter.
Process: Learning how to more and more effectively show love and align all of one's actions with its energy. Finding increasingly easier and smoother ways to get things accomplished without having to in any way slight or limit the fulfillment of one's goals.
***There's always a struggle between my working and family life and my desire for romance and sexual flavorings, only since motherhood. Before that, I always prioritized work 1st but kept a very active sex life and love life. Now it's like I'm married to two grumpy, but adorable men with my sons (8 and 7- a Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Virgo Rising and a Sagittarius Sun, Aquarius Moon, Scorpio Rising).
Jupiter: The ability to get many things done at once. The tendency to be inefficient due to taking on too many things. Feeling confident that one can get things accomplished. To be enthusiastic about romance."
*** Ugh, I was hoping this was just Neptune square Sun Transit - I have many pots simmering on the oven but 0 are complete and rather then working on them I'm strolling the internet, volunteering, and pleasing myself all the time!! For years now. Oi, oi.
Saturn = Pluto / Midheaven
"Principle: To be transformed and empowered by being open and receptive to spiritual forces. An intense and relentless pursuit of one's spiritual path, or to pursue worldly success with the same intensity. Power struggles with employers and/or those in authority. To be obsessed with the need for security, and ultimately to find true security in spiritual realities.
*** Agreed with all of this, there's not always struggles with authority, I respect older, wiser people and their advice, however, as I mentioned earlier you could be the president and if we were in a room together and I didn't think what you did or said was moral, righteous, or correct - I'd let them know right on the spot. Regardless of consequences.
Process: The craving to find a truly meaningful place in the world. The desire to wield social power, either for selfish and egotistical reasons or for the purpose of positively transforming the world.
*** It's the latter and that's not just because I've got a conjunction right now of Saturn on my Neptune (using a larger orb, but I feel it), I want to save the World but the Utopian (and communistic!) ideals of my teenage years died away along with my YCL membership at 23.
Saturn: A fear of power struggles with authority figures. Frustration concerning the difficulties one encounters when trying to align oneself with one's spiritual path. The ability to effect changes in the world through being cautious and focused.
*** I have a convicted stalker that's been purporting for 8 years that I'm crazy amongst other things, I do work as a tarot reader, and I'm very religious, as a result of that I'm constantly having to side swipe defemation in the legal arena (family law) when he makes pointed comments on my delusions of magical abilities, that's the only authority I fear - a Judge, and even givent that, I more often than not prevail in court - aside when I yell, repeatedly that the Judge is "being used as a _____ing pawn" - that's the only time I've "lost". Per se.
Moon = Sun / Mercury
"Principle: The purposeful organizing of thoughts and the ability to rank ideas in terms of their relative importance. The ability to communicate objectively. The importance of one's ideas. One's own ideas. Egotistical thinking.
***I feel I am a very poor public speaker, I do tend to pick up the energy and moods of anyone I'm around, this I blame on that Moon Sextile Pluto aspect in my chart and also my ASC in Pisces, because of that I have a far better time writing - which, I greatly enjoy. I see both sides and every angle of an argument, regardless of if I'm involved or not. I'm actually pretty humble, I do, however, believe I know people better than most people, perhaps because of all the work I did in the mental health sphere, or maybe it's just because God gives me inclinations.
Process: One perceives the relative value of each and every idea and is able to see them as a part of a larger, meaningful pattern.
**** We are all one and yes, again
Moon: The emotional need for clear and objective thinking, and/or to speak of what is important. A tendency to place undue importance on an idea or ideas due to feeling insecure or vulnerable or because of some other emotion.
***When I do get angry and verbally articulate that it is as you said after a bottling up period and then I just start shooting out of the mouth about this, that, and the other - rather than articulating, clearly the 101 things that led to the upset on my end. Agreed, but I don't feel it's a vulnerability, I would call it more a propensity to self-sabotage via diarrhea of the emotional mouth!!!
Right from the midpoints I saw you might have struggled with love and authority your whole life somehow. Venus and Saturn. When I opened your natal chart I saw you have sun very close to saturn, and a tight conjunction of Venus and Saturn. That can very well create such feelings of restriction and even in some cases a feeling of being hard to love. There is general heaviness around the word and feeling "love". Powerful/dominating father?
***I always interpet this as "She loves older, wiser, grumpy, well traveled men" beause I do. Dad was nice, wanted and still does want to be my bestie, Grandpa was far more of my Father than any other man in my life (Capricorn Sun with Scorpio Moon) and lives less than 20 minutes away from me, Stepdad and I get along great now, from the point of him marrying my mother as a child until I left the house alone at 15 and again for the final time at 16 - we had serious issues. Mother was the one that didn't love me or show me enough affection, now we have a better relationship - we're certainly alike in our faith but, also there is a disconnect in our ability to express our affection for one and other, unless it's a crisis, and we are both quite rude to one and other frankly. She's a Cancer Sun, Sagittarius Moon. I always felt loved by my wonderful grandparents as a child and they're mostly all alive today - they were my strong, adoring, parental figures. Mom worked multiple jobs up until marrying stepdad, whom she said on many occasions "I love _____(stepdad) more than you when you're a grown-up you'll understand". I am a grown up now, I think that is disgusting and absolutely untrue as my sons are my World.
You also seem to have incredible urge to have stability, and just because life itself is never stable, your best option is to find that stability you so seek in spirituality.
***Agreed and I have, spirituality and my faith get me thru because God provides so many miracles I have been witness to and can attest too. Somehow he manages to save the day over and over again, I could go to the gallows and I would know right before or as I was to be hanged the rope would snap or Zorro would show up to sweep me away.
8th Harmonic (talents)
Sun = Venus / North Node
"Principle: To progress in one's ability to love and to appreciate life, as well as to relax and enjoy one's existence. Loving connections with other people. To seek out groups or individuals that share with one a common appreciation of life. Negatively, laziness and desire for comfort hold one back from progress.
*** I have had 3 exes in the last decade, one is my convicted stalker and abuser, another is an ex who is a hacker and the 3rd was someone that was employed by me - all 3 have attempted to and or threatened to ruin my life, many times over, and have done so since the start of 2015. The stalker since 3 days following the birth of our eldest - July 4th, 2009. It's absurd really, you'd think they'd all be more developed, I'm no supermodel, and the target is simply to ruin my life - I still don't understand if it's a romantic obsession or just their mental health - all 3 are in fact, mentally ill. I say that as a former caseworker for Community Mental Health. So, I agree with your comments, I'm looking for a love I can trust, that's wiser, older, and able to direct me to be the best I can be, to teach me and inspire me, and who appreciates all the little things I do and my unyielding loyalty to his well-being. A lover that can be trusted, sidenote: he has to have good taste in music and more than one bookcase at home.
Process: Realizing the limitations of one's love and seeking to love more fully and deeply. Learning to love new things, as well as deepening one's ability to love what one already loves. The evolution of one's ability to rest, be calm and be at peace.
***I love unconditionally, even the exes I wish would never speak, think, or dream about me. I still have love for their souls. But, my goal in life is zen after I help a lot of people, ideally abroad, sadly, those exes create constant and incessant abuses against me, I've learned and am learning more so every day to just let it go (following filing FBI reports in the fall of 2017). I have faith in God and his plan.
Sun: One is vitalized by loving connections and associating with people who bring one a greater appreciation of life. One's goals are dependent on one's learning to love and share more deeply."
***I'm always happier and more creative when I'm in love with someone and have a reason to dress up and SHAVE!! Who isn't?! Lol.
Saturn = Mars / Uranus (exact! 00°00 orb)
(I thought the Moon/Pluto and Saturn/Venus were **** close to exact too!)
"Principle: Sudden and unexpected actions. To find one's own independent and unique way of doing things. To be assertively rebellious. Accidents, which are a manifestation of pent-up energy that need to be released. To be impulsive in one's actions, and/or to act erratically. Inspired action.
***I don't need to find my own way, I'm eccentric. My relatives say that it's bad to be an eccentric (for the most part) and I shouldn't call myself that, but I am, and I'm actually proud of it. Most people are sheep, I'm not, more like a platypus - with no extra effort needed. And, yes to inspired action.
Process: Active experimentation. The breaking out of old forms and patterns and the creating of new one's that offer more freedom and which more clearly reflect the true self.
***I do like experimentation! And, for instance, I strictly ascribed to the whole house system and using that for transits, horary, and even natal interpts. Now as of the last few weeks I'm changing to PC, orbs of 7 degrees or less (for transit), and I went from communists to a libertarian, a devout Catholic and Christian to all sorts of beliefs throughout my life, et cetra.
Saturn: To wish to be uninhibited in one's actions, but to be shy about it or afraid of doing so. To act in an independent or uninhibited fashion, but to do so with caution and circumspection."
***My caution is only surrounding what I may or may not do or say being used against me in the court of FAMILY law. Prior to children I could give a flying ________- about anyone's opinions on me and had 0 inhibition (and 0 stretch marks!). Haha, I look forward to when my boys are old enough I can revert to this is me in 100% me mode. I feel like that won't happen until they're teens, who knows tho!
9th Harmonic (soul's purpose)
Chiron = Mercury / Mars
"Principle: Passionate communication. Constructive and/or destructive communication. Arguing. Mental conflict. An agitated nervous system. The ability to be pointed and assertive when speaking. Sexual communication.
***I love writing out and speaking/talking dirty things, I think it's because I am always no matter where or what I am doing thinking about sex - I mean ALWAYS. It's ridiculous, I am like a man in that sense, it's in my mind every second, doesn't matter who or what I'm around or what thoughts or talks I'm having, I imagine everyone naked, I look at the sunset and think back to times in the nude in the sunset, et cetra. I have books of poetry from 11 years old up until last night that I have journaled about my sexuality. I don't like to argue, I only take that stand when someone is corrupt/lying/threatening my family, but as a result of those exes, I seem to be called to do that. I have an agitated nervous system, I worry quite a bit - virgo moon, but seems the Saturn trine to my moon and or the Kava Kava root has helped with that - as I feel calm and I'm sleeping WELL. We did get a yes prior to my verbal arrows, they're always on target!!!
Process: The building and/or destroying of connections. Using communication in a combative and/or stimulating manner, either for good or ill.
***I end all relationships I end with words, including friendships - I say and or write the reason the relationship is null and void, example: I have 0 trust for you, wish you the best in life (and then block them) or alternatively "You said __________, that was a lie, do whatever you want to do, your usual" - and then never speak to them again, et cetra.
This only comes after many chances, observations, and a final determination that takes at least a year or 9 months in the making. But, I'm final, I'm firm, I do hold grudges for those I find unequivocally evil in disposition or in their heart. Fortunately, it's so hard to even get close to me (that Venus/Saturn link) - I only have to go thru this process once every couple of years.
Chiron: To be guided spiritually when arguing, and because of this to use the conflict of ideas as a healing device. To say pointed things of a healing nature which carry a potent impact, often without knowing one is doing so.
*Yes, agreed in totality. We've hit another absolute, my dear.
This rings strongly to me "a healer". This is most definitely happening out of your control. You might be very much aware of this aggressive communication, but it might feel as if its out of your hands to change it or control it. (correct me if I'm wrong)
*Absolute yes again, correct - A plus, Darling!
Saturn = Ascendant / Midheaven
"Principle: The ability to integrate greater and greater amounts of wisdom and knowledge into one's personality. The ways in which one's personality either serves and fosters one's evolution or limits it. The pressure which the Spiritual Light exerts on the personality to induce its growth. The growth of the understanding of the meaning and purpose of all one's relationships. At worst this combination may manifest as a schism between the real self and the idealized self, rendering progress very difficult. At best the idealized self gradually seeps into the real self, transforming, enlarging and uplifting it. Identification with one's career.
***I loved this and I love to learn, have over 938 college credits and I love my job, I truly believe I am acting as a for-pay messenger of God, and that he's given me the approval to do so - I also have hopes that when my sons are old enough to either testify in court and or make decision themselves I will work and live abroad, not as a tarot card reader but for DOS or an NGO - helping people until my dying days. I welcome, invite, and appreciate changes to my psyche and I love my increasing maturity, I'll be wise in my 80's if I keep it up.
Process: The increasing ability to allow one's identity to be determined, conditioned and guided by spiritual forces. Allowing one's identity more and more to exemplify and express one's spiritual self.
***Have I told you lately, that I love you?! It's an infinite - Yes
Saturn: A feeling that there is an unbridgable rift between who one is versus who one wants to be and could be. Spiritual progress wants to be slow, steady, and grounded. Identifying with negativity cuts one off from spiritual progress.
***I like to think this is the Devil/Evil trying to get me to quit God, like Job - but I refuse too - he's just to present in my life, in yours, in all of ours.
You do seem to have this vibe of a spiritual warrior, I feel like you have learned already to work with most of those energies.
***Of course that made me SMILE really big and I'd be grateful if God thinks of me that way, it is how I see myself, but then I think - of that song by Carly Simon - You're so vain...
Hooray, wonderfully done my new friend!!!
Let's hope my tarot reading is as on point as this.
Thanks so much!!!
