Should I cut my losses? Rafaella, tikana, etc please?

anjelik

Well-known member
I've read all of the posts and I think you should just back off and let him come to you (if that is what he wants). As Glinda mentioned, online dating can be a bit of a mindf*ck in a way - at least that was my experience. I never had a shortage of messages from guys, but we would go on a few dates and it would get wishy washy. I think online dating gives men an easy way to collect lots of women in their net with minimal effort. So if he is not giving you the same amount of attention, move on and you will find someone that will give you 100% of their time and effort. I dated in NYC for a long time and the mind games and uncertainty can be draining. I remember the days of calculating my text responses, waiting hours to read/respond to play the game back. I do not miss those days and there are people out there that feel the same way so you can find them if you just go with your gut. If this man comes back to you, then he does, if not then there are more fish in the sea! That's just my two cents (and if you have loads of time you can go back into my posts from like 6 years ago and see all of my stupid questions about guys that were going no where)!
 

kai

Well-known member
thank you :))
he is super nice to me...and told me also at the very end that meeting me for a company would be great and lovely for him and everything else is just a bonus to him and our meetings will be without any expectation. i will not shut him off this time after our honest conversation because he was very respectful in his texts, but im not going to give in either, so i will let him contact me whenever (himself) and ask me out as a friend or whatever he wants to ask me out as...im backing off as before...never was on him though, so i simply wanted to update a few ppl people about the end result since a few days ago the chart said that he wants me for sex which is obviously the case. Thanks again everyone for your wishes, advices etc on this, im feeling a bit at ease now quite honestly and surprisingly so im on my own without any horary on this man from now on :)) i guess as long as he likes me..if he isn't into having a relationship then fine...i do appreciate that he still wants to see me without any pressure as i always wanted to see him myself and my anger derived from his lack of effort in regard to making it happen. Now it seems like im more content that he still wants to see me which perhaps is what matters to me while im not pressured into anything.
 

Iced8Ace

Well-known member
I was so surprised to see this thread bumped up! I'll add my 2 cents if you don't mind.

I agree with anjelik, just ignore him. He is very childish for his age. The wink is a red flag. If he's not messaging anything concrete, it means he wants to bait you back to him for ego's sake, and if you reject him, he can act like it wasn't such a big deal and keep his ego in tact. Having to guess a man's intentions is another red flag (like what does he mean when he checks my page?) What you need to look for is vulnerability, honesty, wanting to get to know you better, making time for you, and looking to commit, (just to a relationship. Any man talking about marriage after knowing you for a few months is not thinking rationally--another red flag). People who truly like you, call and get back in touch when you distance yourself if they value whatever you have. What he's doing is just "bait". Don't fall for it.
 
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