Thanks for reading. I'm posting the synastry chart, the actual aspects list and also the composite. I know a little about astrology, but the feelings here are so INTENSE that I don't think I can look at anything objectively.
I have known this man for about 5 years through work, though he has had several long term absences when I didn't have communication with him. After the first year of working with him I began to have intense sexual dreams about him. Being in a relationship, I just wrote them off as me experiencing an "aspect of myself" in my dreams. However, they became more frequent and I began to feel increasingly drawn to him over time and eventually manifested actual, conscious attraction.
We have developed a wonderful friendship as we are both kind of oddballs, but we think so similarly. Sometimes it's as if we share a brain. We make each other laugh frequently and relate to each other very well.
Over the years, the sexual pull gradually became more intense for me but I never showed overt signs for a number of reasons. He is no longer working here and we've discussed the fact that there is a strong sexual attraction as well as an unbelievable mental affinity.
We are two people who wouldn't have come into contact if it weren't for the years of working together. We have VERY DIFFERENT lifestyles. and though we're technically in the same culture, we have some cultural differences as well.
At this point I feel like I've become irrational as the desire is so great. I think the unrelenting sexual attraction (which for me seems to border on obsession) may due to his BM Lilith at an exact conjunction with my ascendant. There are so many things about his external life choices that don't align with where I am in my life (i.e. lack of focus, emotional immaturity, no solid career or work) that it seems like an actual romantic relationship would never be possible.
I think our ability to relate and get along so well are in part due to my moon in an exact conjunction to his venus/trine conjunction, 3 degrees conjunct his north node, and four degrees conjunct his sun.
But please, if you've read this far, I'm particularly looking for any karmic influences, help understanding the composite chart and any major red flags you may see. Thanks so much.
The actual degrees and aspect orbs are on the attached pdf file.