Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

I have my 28th birthday in a few weeks and I'm just so worried about my future.

I've been trying to get off my feet for years financially and career wise and just want to know if things will get better for me this year or will I have to go through this for a while longer. What can I expect from this year career wise/financially? I just feel stuck no matter how much effort I exert to do better.....it just hurts.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

Hi I know how you feel.

What affects you financially is Saturn and Neptune in the 2nd. This is not bad, it just tell that you should have to use a better way to administrate your money, specially with Neptune which sometimes makes you spend lavishly, or there are incidentals that force you to spend "cash" which tends to vanish like water between your fingers.
It is also important to develop a healthy self worth. Thats very connected to our income and how we use money.


Did you change your job? Got unemployed? Or have you experienced some change regarding job in the near past? Uranus just conjuncted your Natal Sun.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

I actually feel like I do a good job managing money, my problem is that for whatever reason since I've graduated college I've yet to be able to find a steady income. I do have incidents where things go wrong & I have to spend my money fixing it (usually my car, or some electronic equipment).....but normally I don't spend very lavishly. I graduated back in 2008 so this has been an issue for a long time but it's been bothering me more and more lately. (I've actually had another thread about this a while back)

I'm actually a DJ, produce & do music......but I also do a bit of graphics on the side. I design all my promotional material. Djing & producing was always my dream anyways but lately I've been questioning it. I've put my all into it but I'm still not making enough to where I can really make it out on my own........at the same time I've been unable to find a regular job.I just feel stuck, not knowing what to do next. I'll have months where I make good money & then others where I'm barely making anything. I'll have months where I'm doing the some of the most high profile work.

I feel like I've been working hard and getting some success as I'm known within my community & have done some big events but I still feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I've been on the news for my work, I've been flown out to dj in other places, done pretty high profile events and it's been great when I'm working but when it's slow it's miserable. For as many thing I've done, I still feel passed over for certain events or jobs within music. Really just extreme highs & lows but I was never really making enough to move out on my own & just uncertainty over the 5-6 years has pretty much destroyed my self esteem & even my love for my passion and life itself. I think I'd enjoy it more if I had some sort of stable income while I pursued my passion but I can't get a job....I've tried everything. Contact alumni, recommendation from friends, 100s of apps, interviews, meet with my old school's career center....I mean nothing is working.

I've really started to question if I'm even good at djing music despite the fact that I'm am booked to work regularly. My self esteem is shot right now.

It's even hurting my social life because the uncertainty of not knowing when you're going to have money next causes you to save while everyone is enjoying what they work for. Most of my close friends outside of music are lawyers and/or on wall street or have really good jobs. They all pretty much live in NYC so I'm kinda lonely (more than ever lately) when I'm not DJing.

I turn 28 in a few weeks and just the feeling of seeing my mom get older is weighing on me. She's been really leading the family even in retirement but I feel like I need to do my part but it seems my efforts to improve my life just aren't working.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

Oh, Self esteem is strongly connected to achievements and miscarriages. The sad thing is that this two do not depend completely of us. Sometimes other people have something to do with them, specially in job.

I see the main problem here are the transits to your 10th ruler Sun and 2nd Jupiter. They are natal strong: Sun in Aries, and Jupiter in Pisces.
So your money ruler is basically in a good position, so you wont have problems generating your own money.

The ruler of your 10th is the Sun, Uranus just conjunct it and Mars opposed it in the near past. So that was disrupting for you, it creates a feeling of loosing control of your Sun (career matters).

Jupiter is now being conjuncted by Neptune. This makes stronger the effects of your natal Neptune in the 2nd, and the same for money opportunities.

I say is temporary.

Sorry for my english, I am latin american.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

You have Chiron in strong opposition to your Saturn in the 2nd. You strongly identify finances and financial worth with self-worth - "If I have no money, then I'm nobody". You realize of course that many of the most famous and prominent people in history came from abject poverty. If they had let their poverty define who they were, where would we be today?

You need to reflect and try to find out where this belief of yours came from. Chiron is also semisquare Venus, so again self-worth and financial-worth are intertwined. Venus is in Aries, a very poor position for Venus, where your quest for financial security is scorched-earth - a rampaging bull in a china shop looking for that one valuable nugget that you've already smashed into a thousand pieces. The Universe is unlimited, there is more than enough for everyone - but the distribution of goods is based on belief and faith. Again, you must study where this belief was introduced into your life. Did you have a parent who constantly harped that "money doesn't grow on trees", "Life is hard", "there's never enough", and so on? Money is not evil - it's a tool, nothing more and nothing less.

Transiting Pluto is quincunx your Chiron so this lesson is really grating on your nerves at this time. Not enough to push you into action, but enough to keep it constantly in the forefront of your mind. TR Uranus just crossed over your Sun so it was a period of great agitation and anger, and is now sextile your Chiron. Again, another finger poking into the wound but now giving you the impetus to get out of your own way. It is trine your Saturn so this is a good time to make some major changes in your beliefs and your financial status. Coming to the forum here was a good first step. TR Node is crossing your ASC and opposite your Node - a time of really re-evaluating your life and where you fit into the world - you review the past and where you've been and start looking for where the past no longer serves you and where you can now make changes. TR Neptune was square your Moon which is a very depressing and difficult aspect, but that is now passing so your mind should be clearing up now so that you can focus on the task at hand, quit feeling sorry for yourself and start making some changes. Don't wait as in a couple years TR Neptune will be square your Chiron so again events from the past are going to hit you and you'll have a lot to deal with again - you are only at the first step and need to be ready so that you don't get discouraged halfway up the mountain.

Perhaps you should start reading Eckhart Tolle's book "A new Earth" - it may be a difficult read for you at this time but it may be the point where you need to start introducing yourself to these concepts on how your thoughts and beliefs affect the reality you create. You have some negative beliefs about money and self-worth that need to be addressed immediately.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

Thanks for responding....I really appreciate it. Everything you've said makes perfect sense. I'm definitely going to start reading that book today. Gonna download and put it on my iPad. Thanks so much.

My mom was always frugal and never really valued money in the ways most people do. She grew up poor with a twin sister & two brothers but she worked hard and afforded us a middle class lifestyle. She was never really materialistic or anything like that but I had pretty much everything I wanted as a kid. For whatever reason I always wanted more & was willing to work for it. Always had some way of creating income for myself as a kid (cutting grass, shoveling snow, had a retail job) Once I started DJing I'd make good money from that and I had a job at the same time.

I never really got into music for the money, but for the love but going to an Ivy league school and seeing so many rich people around you and then see you friends become well off hurts when you're working hard and just can't become financially stable. I graduated in 2008 right when the recession hit. Once I graduated school I felt like I never really got off the ground financially enough to make it on my own. I think it's gotten worse and worse each year because I'd miss things like bachelor parties in other countries because I didn't have enough money or I'd go somewhere with friends & they'd spend more than I can afford but we'd all be splitting the bill.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

I can identify with these thoughts but doesn't everyone feel better about themselves when they're working, making a stable income, supporting themselves & not feeling stagnant? I'm do think I may value money too much, but I can't see how my thoughts can change based on the position I'm currently in. I think if you took people who were well off and put them in the same position I'm in, given the same drive and ambition, they'd feel the same.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

Not everybody that is working feels that way. Some people would rather be fishing. Some people would rather be doing something else for a living like being an artist but those jobs often pay little and they can't risk the financial security to pursue a dream. Some people work in a family business they want no part of. Some people make a lot of money and are bored silly or stressed to death. Some people are perfectly happy being the middle-class truck driver their entire lives because they enjoy being on their own and on the road. Not everyone feels their self-worth tied up in what they do for a living or how much they make or whether they are "stagnant", by your definition. If someone were to ask me the profound question of "who are you", the first answer to come to mind would NOT be my job title, nor my economic class. I also don't consider my stagnancy to be based on what I earn vs what I earned in years previous.

You choose your thoughts and beliefs whether you believe it or not. If you do have unsettling thoughts you have to think about where they came from. You can indeed change the way you think about things, and the way you think about things in turn changes your reality. The ease or non-ease with which you can do this are reflected in your natal chart.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

That's true.....I'm definitely projecting my ambition and feelings upon everyone else. I have a friend who's just comfortable getting by and I never understand why he doesn't want more (especially since he's very talented).

Thanks for the advice tho, you're definitely right.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

This is where the squares and other negative aspects in your chart work in a positive fashion - they spur you on. People with nothing but trines or sextiles will be the type to just sit around and wait for things to happen or do nothing with their talent.

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

asc lord mars elevated cap 2nd, wealth though own efforts

moon-cancer 9th inimical for scorpio asc,
stress-delays in luck-education etc,
inimical moon over sag first house,
health under stress probably,

moon-sat sag prone to worry about,
good at economics probably.


sat 2nd tending to earnings in distant lands,
sat aspect own acq protective of
domestic comforts-property matters,
may not be good for health of mother.


10th lord sun elevated over aries 5th,
tending to managerial-admin roles,
10th lord placed 8th from 10th
prone to fall in position sometime, to care.


mer debilated in pisces 5th emotional-confused,
mer 2nd highest deg, factor for vocation,

jup own pisces cancelling mer debilation,
slower pace of growth,

jup own pisces 4th quadrant,
growth-riches through advisory-consultant role,

pars fortuna over the 4th for property matters etc


mer elevated aspect over own virgo 11th
protective of income-gains-friendships hopefully,

venus 6th winning people through personal charm.
venus highest planetary deg the personality factor.

jup-mer pisces literary-poetic aptitudes.


all planets between rahu-ketu the nodes,
darkness below the lamp,
rahu true node transiting all planets at birth in sequence
tending to cloud things, rahu the giver though.

rahu taurus love of food-comforts,
ketu scorpio 12th research-occult aptitudes, secretive,
accident prone, tending to foreign lands

later ketu the separative node transit natal planets,
uprooting things along the path and relationships,
prone to pain-injury-surgery, to care.


all planets over dark half tending to be introvert-reflective,
not action oriented in approach. moon-sat prone to worry.



currently jup-rahu transit virgo 11th, gains through foreigners,
jup-rahu prone to vitiate judgment, rise-fall to care yr ahead.

ketu transit mer-jup pisces 5th, under anxiety, seeking change,
prone to pain-injury-surgery heart-stomach-lungs-liver etc, care,
ketu transit affecting romance-position-mother-property etc,
jup aspect own pisces protective hopefully.


sat now transit natal moon-sat sag under stress,
calling for long-term decisions of life.

sat aspect own acq protective of domestic matters.
sat aspecting virgo 11th restraining income-gains-friendships,
jup-rahu transit virgo tending to rise-fall to care.
ketu transit mer-jup pisces 5th under anxiety seeking change.


may be things settle sat moving to own cap 2nd,
while sat-mars conj prone to stress-struggle again,

jup year end moves to libra 11th for gains,
aspecting sun elevated aries 5th promoting position/status


natal sat retro scorpio asc, reserved, sentimental, suspicious

tending to urological health issues.
retro sat 2nd delays in family-finances,
mars debilated aspect cancer 8th prone to chronic diseases,
anemic health, urological issues, water accidents, etc
inimical lord moon over asc affecting health.


chart with potentials for wealth-finances, planets protective,
moon-sat prone to worry and be economic, delayed results,
all planets between rahu-ketu darkness below the lamp,
sun elevated 5th for position-status,
jup own pisces 4th quadrant, growth-riches through advisory roles,
mer debilation cancelled slower pace of growth,
mer aspecting own virgo 11th protective of income-gains,
sat 2nd tending to earnings in distant lands.

jup pisces trine elevated aspect over cancer 9th
protective of luck-education, trine scorpio protects well-being.

sun elevated aries 5th, 9th lord from moon, promoting luck

currently transits challenging jup-rahu tending to rise-fall,
ketu transit mer-pisces 5th under anxiety seeking change,
sat transit natal sat calling for long-term decisions of life.
hope things better when jup moves to libra 11th year later,
and sat moves to own cap 2nd for finances.
jup-rahu virgo 11th currently gains through foreigners,
but care avoid rise-fall.


hope generic observations-inputs give a feel of chart-transits,
pick-integrate as relevant, hope find the insights useful,

could share specific feedbacks per return,
technicalities apart, relevance of interpretations,

wishing well,


kshantaram

Re: Worried about my future, feel blocked....
 

for your reflections and salient feedbacks how true-insightful,
traits-talents-health-trends-prospects-ideas etc etc



wishing well, kshantaram