New job: Good culture, but I think I made a mistake position-wise

[LostinPhilly]

I've been at the job for a little bit more than a month now and although I understand a new job requires a great degree of adjustment which may take from 3 to 6 months, I'm struggling a bit emotionally.

The culture is nothing like my former employer's. It's far healthier, more transparent and most of all, there's a great deal of trust and communication instilled between the management and their teams. The people are overall smart and interesting to talk to. Employees are treated like adults. The company itself gives one's CV huge credibility. If my former employer's culture was like this, I would have probably stayed 20 years there. Unfortunately the toxicity led me to leave after 3 years as I've explained many times on this board.

My new job is nothing like my former job, so I am also learning everything from scratch. It is basically an internal finance position at an accounting/consulting firm. My former position was a client-facing banking position which also allowed me to travel often. The difference was obviously not a surprise to me, but I thought I would settle in well. I thought I wouldn't see a problem in no longer interacting with clients and not traveling at all. I was clearly deluding myself.


I'm incredibly grateful for this job as it entailed a salary increase and a career progression, but I can't help but think about my former clients and how driven I was to get things done to get the kudos from a client. This new job seems so repetitive and menial next to my former job. I'm finding myself looking a the same excel spreadsheet all day, getting instructions from client-facing teams and doing systems amendments, then amend that same excel spreadsheet over and over again.

The sole fact of thinking about my daily tasks makes me cry when I get home. I miss my former clients and the adrenaline I had to get things done because I knew it would benefit a client. This new job is so sendentary, I'm getting depressed each day. I have no clue what came over me to quit my former job, but the envrionment got so dysfunctional that I needed to get away. People were also leaving left and right, only the managers remained. From a job standpoint, I severely regret my choice. From an envrionment standpoint, I don't. I almost miss my former job.

However, current job is a dead end too. They're also changing the role in October, which will turn my finance position into an IT position to help client-facing teams to use an internal tool. I'll basically be a ticket handler. This is not the career trajectory I want to take at all.

I know I would be good at the new job, but ultimately, my goals lie elsewhere.

Should I look internally or try again in a few months to look into banking again?

Thanks.

 

[LostinPhilly]

Would anyone be willing to assist?

Thanks,

 

[katydid]

You say you have no idea why you changed jobs. But maybe you knew this was a good way for you to put less focus on y0ur career and put more focus on your social life, friendships and relationships? Maybe you needed the break from a high powered daily job to something that would allow you the space to balance out your life?

Mercury is the ruler of the Asc and the MC in this chart. And the Moon is right on top other Asc and sextiling the Mercury chart ruler.

That tells me that the Moon is a big focus in this chart. So maybe you need to look at your emotional life at the moment and figure out a way to improve the fulfilment factor?

 

[Osamenor]

Might there be any possibility of you transferring to a client facing role at your new company?

It sounds like this company could give you the fulfillment factor katydid mentioned, if only you had a client facing role. I think you actually are doing what the moon here indicates, if you're reconsidering what makes you feel fulfilled in your job.

 

[LostinPhilly]

Hi everyone,

Thanks a lot for your constructive remarks.

Yes, I indeed agreed on the fact that I needed to maybe put a focus on my friendhips and relationships. However, whilst these aspects of life are necessary, I cannot deny the fact that having a job you love certainly boosts your confidence and overall happiness. The key is to dive into the job in a measured manner.

To be honest, my current job really gets me down. I'm on the verge of tears pretty much all day. I initially thought this was resulting from the initial reaction to the job change, but I've been there since April and I still have tears in my eyes when coming in in the morning. This had never happened to me before in any job I had. As soon as I enter the building, my energy completely changes. I become incredibly anxious, I get severe chills where I'm shaking all day and tears come up. This is not a normal reaction. I'm just not connecting with the company I think.

I look at the same excel spreadsheet all day, updating figures. This is not healthy for me either, regardless of the amount of work being placed upon me. Additionally, the work culture is a culture of "I don't know" whenever you raise a question. They assume that a two-week training for a job which takes 6 months to get accustomed to is sufficient for you to be fully autonomous. Whenever I ask a question, I'm met with a non-chalant "I don't know" and they won't even try to seek the answer.

Although my former workplace was toxic, there was a huge emphasis put on helping each other out from a knowledge standpoint. The company hired me into a financial accounting job fully knowing I don't have an accounting/finance background. Hence, they can't expect me to fully know the ins and outs within 5 weeks.

I'm sure this job will provide me with undeniably strong financial skills, but it's not making me happy. I'm not excited to go to work in the morning or on Monday. The issue is that it is now affecting my personal life too, because when I'm unhappy with my job, I also isolate myself. I'm thus a lot less willing to socialize as I'm constantly in this state of anxiety and inadequacy. In addition to the fact that I need to put myself out there on the market again.


I'm still under probation, so transferring to a client-facing role might not be on the cards right now. I'd need to be there for at least a year. Given the current job and the change of responsibilities foreseen in our role in October, I'm also seeking externally now.

At least I know what I want in a job now better than I did before.

 

[IleneK]

If your question is "Will there be another job for me out there that I will like?" then I would say yes.

The cusp of your current job is Gemini ruled by Merc. Another job would be signified by the sign of the next house from the 10th, or Cancer, which is ruled by Moon.
You are Mercury.

The next job/Moon is conjunct your Asc/1st house; you/Merc are on the cusp of the house signifying the next job.
Moon and Merc apply to sextile each other and are in mutual reception.

Chart wise, I am not sure that one could ask for much more to be favorable. I think you should aggressively look externally; I think this is a very favorable time for you.

I am wishing you the very best.

 

[Osamenor]

Philly, I just went looking for your natal chart to see if I could find a correlation between the horary and this discussion and your natal. I stumbled upon a discussion some months back in which it was mentioned that your progressed moon has moved into Cancer and your whole sign first house. It might be closer to your ascendant now, which would reflect this horary moon on the AC. Check your progressions.

Moon coming to AC in progression indicates a spotlight on you, from yourself: focus on your interface with the world, what you need for yourself, maybe even sense of self, or sense of how you're perceived. Being unhappy in your job is a great way to be unhappy in life in general, since work is such a big part of life, but I suspect it's more than that.

If you've been identifying with your job, you might be having an identity crisis when your job is so unfulfilling. Not just job dissatisfaction, but questioning who you are. Or, maybe the theme here is literal interaction with the world: loss of interaction with clients feels like a loss of self. Something like that.

 

[tikana]

you are changing jobs soon

 

[LostinPhilly]

Hi everyone,

Many thanks for all your help. This is very much appreciated as usual.

I'm really trying to put aside whatever feels of inadequacy I am currently feeling to try and appreciate my current position. It's however not very easy. Every day feels like a heartbreak. I cry at least once a day, which is strange as I never had this happening when I was at my former jobs. I sit at my desk and think of my former clients and tasks. It was an incredibly dynamic job. My current job is a lot less dynamic.

It also doesn't help that I am in a back-office position where I've noticed on numerous occasions that front-office people will give me and instruction then deny they were instructed me to do anything (despite me having the emails/screenshots to prove the instructions). I used to work a front-office banking job (basically my entire career prior to this was front-office) and I've never claimed/lied about not giving an instruction even when I messed up. I realize that people treat you very differently when you're in back-office.

It's been tough for me as I'm not as bubbly or lively as I used to be. Instead of utilizing my spare time in the evening to going out and enjoy my life, I come home and cry. My anxiety has sky-rocketed and I'm barely eating.

Don't get me wrong, when I started my former job, it was a nightmare. I started with a shouting client, rude sales people, non-cooperative back-office etc.. It took three years to create these solid partnerships, but the difference is that I fell in love with the job and the company as soon as I started (well, until the toxicity of my direct management came to the surface) which allowed me to create a legacy and excel. With this new company, I'm still awaiting for the moment where I fall in love with it and the fact that I'm only look at the same excel spreadsheet all day.

It's indeed a case of a professional identity crisis. Despite my issues with my direct management, I have to admit that in my former job, I was respected by both internal stakeholders at a higher level and external ones. Now, I'm doing a job which is miles away from what I want on top of having to rebuild my brand and reputation. It's incredibly difficult and disheartening. I just have this strange feeling of unfinished business with my former employer. My head is a partially in the past and in the future, but certainly not in the present.

It doesn't help that when I accepted the job, Mercury was in retrograde and when I started Saturn retrograded. I think I took this job to exit a completely toxic dynamic with my direct management at my former employer, but it was more of an escape route than an actual tought-through plan.

I thought my Saturn Return would be fairly OK, but I managed to mess up.

 

[LostinPhilly]

I've been applying to various jobs, but I haven't received a single call. Perhaps the summer is a bit slow.

At this stage, I'm on the verge of trying to get my former job back.

It's a really sticky situation.