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Starsareround 11-15-2018 06:45 PM

Every major relationship I've had has had exact Saturn square Venus
...and I feel like I'm a pro at how this painful aspect works in synastry, unfortunately. At first, there is a beautiful, strong, mutual admiration. There is a tiny bit of Saturn coming out to show who's boss in the early stages, but it's usually in a very appealing manner. At some point, the Saturn person morphs into a disapproving father figure who is really not amused. The love, the responsibility to each other are present and undeniable, but in a romantic relationship the "errant child" (the Venus person) is starving for actual affection and understanding. I'm almost always the Venus person. It always gets to the point where I just drift further and further away because dates start to feel like a one on one with a boss who is trying to fire me in a slow painful manner. I know the Saturn person feels love as well, but they don't express it in a way that Venus recognizes. I'm not sure there's a possible happy ending here, and I'm curious if others have made this kind of relationship thrive with thoughtful interventions or what? Your comments are appreciated!

Starsareround 11-15-2018 07:18 PM

Re: Every major relationship I've had has had exact Saturn square Venus
I do think I understand why this keeps reoccurring. I'm super Neptunian and 12th house heavy. I've always been extremely impractical and dreamy. I'm finally at a place in my life where I am responsible and hard working and have my stuff together, but my true nature will always be "away with the faeries"

So of course I attract my opposite, which is beautiful in many ways, but inevitably they (as upright, possibly uptight, no nonsense people) get super fed up with the very things that attracted them to me. I don't get annoyed with that personality type(I find "boring" people fascinating), but I do kind of drift away because I can'y meaningfully engage once the parental dynamic is set in place...and the reason I find all this frustrating is that I have worked really hard to be a GROUNDED Neptunian, and incorporate all the stuff of the world (sobriety, career, raising kids), and I've been successful. So you would think I'd stop attracting men who represent those things, because I've incorporated them in my life.

Is this a "daddy issues" thing? Does this mean I have unresolved work in therapy regarding my father?

kimbermoon 11-15-2018 08:17 PM

Re: Every major relationship I've had has had exact Saturn square Venus
I hear you...natal Saturn sq Venus here.
Indeed the energies in combination in your 12th H represent things 'kept hidden' in life, often stemming from the subconscious imprinting from the past.

Venus in connection with the Moon denotes that your emotional needs are strongly tied into your ideals and expectations about love. The 12th H tends to keep the energies sequestered, so indeed some therapy might be in order to draw out any internalized blockages.

Daddy issues? Do you think that is in question? If so that has a strong propensity for playing out in your later relationships, with other men.We tend to seek out the things we feel we are missing through others. The Moon is about the emotional needs that at some level you may feel were lacking, and therefore long to have met through others.

Venus in Leo is particularly romantically inclined, but with Saturn's detriment, that facet of love often tends to be denied. Venus trine Neptune makes you dreamy and imaginative when it comes to love, yet relationships often turn out to be more serious than it 'needs to be'. In turn there is a tendency towards much disappointment, and often frustration, when we feel our needs are not being met. Realize that we really are the only ones who can fulfill ourselves.Saturn/Venus is often a magnet for partners who are more strict, emotionally repressed, and serious by nature.

In the end I think the lesson is to recognize and perhaps learn to modify our own 'expectations' in love, to keep them appropriately balanced, rather than keeping them unrealistic and impractical. Allow yourself to be flexible and adaptable, rather than expecting that everyone should conform to our own needs. Also learning to realize the true, spiritual meaning of love goes a long way to greater understanding in partnerships.

Starsareround 11-15-2018 08:35 PM

Re: Every major relationship I've had has had exact Saturn square Venus
Thank you, kimbermoon

I was just reflecting that as I get my stuff together more and more in life, the men I attract have higher and higher standards so rather than attracting someone who would be totally satisfied by my level of accomplishment, I unwittingly get higher and higher expectations placed on me as I achieve Saturnine goals. I'm in a ironic karmic whirlpool! Ha!

Thank you also for the insight into Saturn/Venus. They aren't natural allies at all, are they? We just have to accept this. I long for sweetness, and I attract disciplinarians. Oy Vey.

Virago 11-16-2018 01:08 AM

Re: Every major relationship I've had has had exact Saturn square Venus
Do you have your north node in 7th? Coz then you've lessons to learn before entering into a serious relationship. Or north node in 4th?

Starsareround 11-16-2018 07:33 PM

Re: Every major relationship I've had has had exact Saturn square Venus
North node is in libra which is of course naturally associated with the 7th(sextile Venus, which adds emphasis ) in the 2nd house. I resonate with south node in Aries, the independence and fighting spirit. Iím probably not very good always at facing ďthe otherĒ and being interdependent. Thank god for my own sake that I had kids because without them I literally would not know the meaning of love.Itís a big maybe the big lesson for me in this life

Iím really good at building a fortress for myself with a sealed drawbridge and daydreaming of closeness

thelivingsky 11-26-2018 03:14 AM

Re: Every major relationship I've had has had exact Saturn square Venus
There may be something in your natal that causes you to choose this dynamic.

Here is an excerpt from Steven and Jodie Forrest's Skymates about the challenges of Venus/Saturn aspects in synastry:

"something about the Saturn partner that seems to inhibit the Venus person's romantic and sexual responses... The Saturn person needs to loosen up a bit... Venus person needs to recognize that his or her own issues around trust might blind him to the Saturn person's many gifts." and the aspect "calls for considerable skillful effort from both people."

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