Interpretation??

[Pumpum]

https://imageshack.com/a/img924/2926/clt5mT.jpg

I want to know what in my chart suggests a fear of being controlled or losing control. I always find myself trying to please others, secretly holding it in, then regretting it later because I see that people are no different from what I originally thought. I’ve heard that Air or Fire signs in general are supposed to be quite optimistic but it’s quite the opposite for me. I also can’t physically stand the word ‘love.’ The most I’ll do is shudder at it briefly, but I usually just grit my teeth. I’ve also heard that Air/Fire signs aren’t usually sensitive nor intuitive, but I’m both of those. I see a lot of Earth and Air which is why I’m pretty confused on this. I see that’s theres aspects too, with the conjunction, opps,etc., but I’d like a more detailed explanation into my specific points above ^
Thank you.

 

[Miklaan]

https://imageshack.com/a/img924/2926/clt5mT.jpg

I want to know what in my chart suggests a fear of being controlled or losing control. I always find myself trying to please others, secretly holding it in, then regretting it later because I see that people are no different from what I originally thought. I’ve heard that Air or Fire signs in general are supposed to be quite optimistic but it’s quite the opposite for me. I also can’t physically stand the word ‘love.’ The most I’ll do is shudder at it briefly, but I usually just grit my teeth. I’ve also heard that Air/Fire signs aren’t usually sensitive nor intuitive, but I’m both of those. I see a lot of Earth and Air which is why I’m pretty confused on this. I see that’s theres aspects too, with the conjunction, opps,etc., but I’d like a more detailed explanation into my specific points above ^
Thank you.

I think the fear of being controlled and losing control(same thing really) could be coming from your virgo asc which could cause a need to control things and outcomes and constantly seek order in order to feel confident in what your doing
It could also have you vulnerable to being controlled which ties in with you trying to please others despite regretting it over and over.
Retrograde pluto can have a similar effect and could be a big part of why you fear love.
With both of those placements in your chart complementing eachother it makes sense you would be feeling that way.
Hope this is helpful.