my heart is constantly broken, should I give up?

[lc0601]

Hello,
I am still learning, but maybe someone will be able to offer better insight. I am suffering from another heartbreak right now. It *****, but seems to be the way love goes for me. I am an idealistic and romantic person, but my natal Venus is in Cancer and in retrograde. Of course, there's so much more to it, but please, honestly, should I give up?
Thank you for your time and help

 

[IleneK]

My Venus is in Cancer and while not natally retrograde, became so by progression very early in life. My answer to your question is no, don't give up. I don't think you are really asking the right question, but since this is the one you asked, then I have answered it. Rather than giving up, what might be useful is to find new ways to relate to the circumstances of your life besides your conditioned ways, like thinking that your heart is always broken. Perhaps relate to the heart breaking circumstances of your life with simple curiosity, as an example. Maybe your heart always feels broken, but there is suffering of equal degree when we are single as when we are in relationship. There is no escaping suffering in this life. So we must pick what we want carefully, knowing that our hearts being broken regularly is a very natural part of being human. A broken heart is no big deal, and if allowed to, always passes in its own organic time.

So I wonder, what is the real question your self needs to be asking? Examining yourself very carefully and very gently will likely let you know what it is. Spend some quite time quietly reflecting and see what you come up with.

Wishing you the best.

 

[lc0601]

Hi Ilene,

It means a great deal to me that you took the time to reply to my post. I agree with the points you brought up, and I will meditate on the question.

I do know that I tend to be very self-analytical but have difficulty expressing my emotions into words, so this may be a difficult exercise for me. I think I do fall in love easily and maybe I see who they want to be, or could be (Neptune in 7th). Then when the reality or realization sets in, the knife feels like it plunges a little deeper each time. Is this just my destiny/karma with the rVenus? I do recognize that we, as humans, experience suffering regardless of the circumstance. I think I just need hope.

I think I read somewhere, a while back, that it can take many decades for Venus to turn direct. Do you have any knowledge about this from your experience/research?

If I may, and if you feel comfortable sharing, what spiritual philosophy, if any, do you follow?

Again, thank you Ilene, it really helped me feel a little less alone, and I wish the best to you as well.

 

[WitchHazel]

Regardless of your chart - yes you should give up. Worrying. If the man is right for you, he would never break your heart. Discard the others.

By the way, what do you mean by "giving up"? You can really make yourself indifferent to love interests? Close your eyes in presence of any male? That does not make sense.

 

[IleneK]

Hi Ilene,

It means a great deal to me that you took the time to reply to my post. I agree with the points you brought up, and I will meditate on the question.

I do know that I tend to be very self-analytical but have difficulty expressing my emotions into words, so this may be a difficult exercise for me. I think I do fall in love easily and maybe I see who they want to be, or could be (Neptune in 7th). Then when the reality or realization sets in, the knife feels like it plunges a little deeper each time. Is this just my destiny/karma with the rVenus? I do recognize that we, as humans, experience suffering regardless of the circumstance. I think I just need hope.

I think I read somewhere, a while back, that it can take many decades for Venus to turn direct. Do you have any knowledge about this from your experience/research?

If I may, and if you feel comfortable sharing, what spiritual philosophy, if any, do you follow?

Again, thank you Ilene, it really helped me feel a little less alone, and I wish the best to you as well.

You are very welcome. I think it might be appropriate to take this discussion off-forum. Would it be agreeable with you if I were to PM you?

 

[lc0601]

That would be lovely Ilene, thank you.

 

[lc0601]

Thanks for your time WitchHazel.

 

[IleneK]

For the benefit of the forum I want to share the following astrological observations and will write you by PM about the more personal questions you asked me.

I find it both synchronous and fortuitous that your natal retrograde Venus is ceasing its retrograde path and stationing to direct motion as we speak. And in fact it is precisely on your natal Ascendant, which may have prompted you to write about it [it has retrograded back into Gemini over your lifetime]. It begins its direct motion in the next few months.

I think I do fall in love easily and maybe I see who they want to be, or could be (Neptune in 7th). Then when the reality or realization sets in, the knife feels like it plunges a little deeper each time. Is this just my destiny/karma with the rVenus? I do recognize that we, as humans, experience suffering regardless of the circumstance. I think I just need hope.

I think what may support you and lift you more through this transitional period than hope is curiosity, openness and willingness. Consider how available those attributes may be to you and how you might more fully engage them in your relational life, all of it.

I think your suggesting that you "see... who they want to be" begins to point to the matter. But I suspect it is may be more that you "see who YOU want to them to be," and therein may lie the problem.

Neptune in the 7th may influence your inclination to do so. I would also suggest that the ruler of the 7th [a Jupiter who is unable to express itself fully since it is in the sign of its detriment, Pisces] may have a good deal of involvement in the current limitations you experience in relating with equanimity to the Other, as well as to your self.

So these matters lay out your unique path, the set of challenges that life has given you to cultivate yourself. They are not a special impairment. Rather, some might say that they are gifts. But at the very least, they are the standard fair that we all face, each with only slightly different content and form.

That is why it is so important for you to get very clear what are your true questions and what do you truly want. You won't be able to do that by easily falling for [we can't really call that love, just falling] people that seem as you might wish. I'll continue more on this when I PM you later.

Very best,

 

[rahu]

you do have a difficult emotional pattern.
your mercury is conjunct to Venus which shows you to be very loving and out going.it seems that relationships start well as your emotions and minds are happy together. but your moon/Neptune midpoint is opposed to Venus/mercury and Neptune is opposed to the sun/mercury and sun/venus midpoints so there are always complications on the background. this could be other people involved or it can be outright emotional deception.as you have Saturn square to Neptune, it seems that you draw insincere guys.you have a very complicate mental makeup, doubtlessly because of your parents indirect expression of love and understanding. Saturn/Neptune also suggest a alcohol/drug problem in your family and it may be that you unconsciously find yourself drawn to men with a similar behavior.
with Uranus square your nodal axis, you have very strong psychic/astra; powers but can be very volatile. that is you can change for very little reason. this aspect gives prophetic astral dreams . I suggest you look to relationships with some one who also is trying to develop their psychic side.

rahu

 

[lc0601]

Thank you Ilene,
I will email you shortly.

 

[lc0601]

you do have a difficult emotional pattern.
your mercury is conjunct to Venus which shows you to be very loving and out going.it seems that relationships start well as your emotions and minds are happy together. but your moon/Neptune midpoint is opposed to Venus/mercury and Neptune is opposed to the sun/mercury and sun/venus midpoints so there are always complications on the background. this could be other people involved or it can be outright emotional deception.as you have Saturn square to Neptune, it seems that you draw insincere guys.you have a very complicate mental makeup, doubtlessly because of your parents indirect expression of love and understanding. Saturn/Neptune also suggest a alcohol/drug problem in your family and it may be that you unconsciously find yourself drawn to men with a similar behavior.
with Uranus square your nodal axis, you have very strong psychic/astra; powers but can be very volatile. that is you can change for very little reason. this aspect gives prophetic astral dreams . I suggest you look to relationships with some one who also is trying to develop their psychic side.

rahu

I appreciate your time Rahu. I've only recently begun looking into some of my midpoints and there is a lot I still have to learn about them. It has been true, of late, that there are complications in the background of those I've dated since my last serious boyfriend, (geography or mental illness were the main ones).

It is interesting how much family dynamics can affect how a person experiences love. For me, it brings up a lot of thoughts about karma. Especially with my mom. My dad was reliable, but was an alcoholic (which gives credence to the Saturn/Neptune interpretation).