Why am I so anxious, and find it difficult to communicate?

[intuitivepiscesmercury6]

I have become increasingly anti-social over the last 5 years.

I went through a time of extreme anxiety/ panic attacks, that I believe only went away as I am not working right now. My anxiety is majorly social, although I am prone to constant racing thoughts/over thinking everything. In the past months, I have had much difficulty sleeping, and usually pass out mid-day when my body gives out, and usually my mind is still unrelenting.

I am constantly concerned with what others think of me, and feel as though I never fit in, or certainly never have anything worth while to say. Growing up, and in high school, I would be absolutely shocked to hear this is what would become of me.

I have a stellium in the 3rd house with Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune, and though I still consider myself a strong beginner with Astrology, I believe this means I should find communication important. Which I do; I just have such difficulty with it.

Will I ever get over this? I have become so reclusive that I only feel comfortable with the 2 people closest to me (boyfriend and Mother) although I have a handful of friends left. I have a strong desire to go to school, get back to work (moon in 10th house?) but the thought of doing anything other than shopping gives me instant anxiety.

Any help, insight, suggestions are so very appreciated. Also, I am very new to the community

Thanks again

True Node Aries 11°29'54 End of house 6
Chiron 17° Gemini 5'24 In house 9
*(in case anyone is wondering, or this may be used)

.

 

[kimbermoon]

Transits in your chart can account for your increased sense of anxiety at this time;
Uranus transit the Sun – changes of Identity and sense of self;
Pluto to the square Sun – transformation and regeneration
Saturn is moving to an important transitional point in about a year, that gives cause for much anxiety as well;
During this phase individuals are needing to look back on the experiences of the past in order to recreate new structures of stability and security; it can be a serious time of letting go of the past and seeing the self in a new way.
In the shorter term, Mars is wrapping up it's personal 2 year cycle for you, also a time of taking stock of the path you are currently on. That's a lot of negative energy working on you.

We note that natal Uranus / Saturn were trine your Sun, showing the promise of positive changes in your life. What is involved in that is the ability to develop your independence and autonomy, without having to rely on others for validation and support.
On the down side, Pluto was square the Moon suggesting that you carry over many shadows from the past, especially in terms of your parents conditioning, perhaps involving abuse or domination leaving you with a sense of self-doubt and dis-empowerment as an individual, which has now come home to rest.
Neptune was also square the Sun denoting confusion and insecurity relating to your sense of Identity.
The stellium in the 3rd relates to problems in communications, reinforced by afflictions of Mercury.

It is these negative planetary interactions that create difficulty and challenge in your life and these must be resolved through the process of self-awareness and adaptability, by looking within to find the original causes of the mind-sets that trouble you.

 

[intuitivepiscesmercury6]

Transits in your chart can account for your increased sense of anxiety at this time;
Uranus transit the Sun – changes of Identity and sense of self;
Pluto to the square Sun – transformation and regeneration
Saturn is moving to an important transitional point in about a year, that gives cause for much anxiety as well;
During this phase individuals are needing to look back on the experiences of the past in order to recreate new structures of stability and security; it can be a serious time of letting go of the past and seeing the self in a new way.
In the shorter term, Mars is wrapping up it's personal 2 year cycle for you, also a time of taking stock of the path you are currently on. That's a lot of negative energy working on you.

We note that natal Uranus / Saturn were trine your Sun, showing the promise of positive changes in your life. What is involved in that is the ability to develop your independence and autonomy, without having to rely on others for validation and support.
On the down side, Pluto was square the Moon suggesting that you carry over many shadows from the past, especially in terms of your parents conditioning, perhaps involving abuse or domination leaving you with a sense of self-doubt and dis-empowerment as an individual, which has now come home to rest.
Neptune was also square the Sun denoting confusion and insecurity relating to your sense of Identity.
The stellium in the 3rd relates to problems in communications, reinforced by afflictions of Mercury.

It is these negative planetary interactions that create difficulty and challenge in your life and these must be resolved through the process of self-awareness and adaptability, by looking within to find the original causes of the mind-sets that trouble you.

kimbermoon,

Thank you a thousand times for your detailed reply. You actually brought tears to my eyes when you hit the nail right on the head with an abusive, dominating parent that has now passed.

So it is as I expected, the planets show a tough time for me. Do you have any advice how I go about making these changes and adapt myself? I have tried enduring jobs, social interactions - but I always end up 'freaking out' and this results in going back into hiding again. I have every desire to better myself, but I am at a loss of how to do so. I am not sure if I can do this on my own, or how to.

Furthermore, I am not confident in where this change in mindset came in. A LOT changed at the time it all started happening - laid off from a family business during the recession, due to not enough money to pay me, only to be replaced by my half-brothers gf, resulting in me being on unemployment for about 2 years; my best, closest friend moved to another state, and in result our friendship took a major hit; I also ended a romantic relationship that was verbally abusive, and this was very hard for me, as I loved him very much, but I knew it would be my detriment if I stated. This all happened within a few months of each other, and this is precisely when the anxiety came out of nowhere.

I hope I am not babbling, or even worse, seem like I am whining. This community seems to 'give it to you like it is', straight-forward. Which is what I feel is exactly what I need. At this point, I dont have any real friends to turn to, and my boyfriend is not the emotional type at all, and doesn't seem to know how to deal with this sort of thing.

Thank you so very much again for your response, kimbermoon

 

[JUPITERASC]

I have become increasingly anti-social over the last 5 years.

I went through a time of extreme anxiety/ panic attacks, that I believe only went away as I am not working right now. My anxiety is majorly social, although I am prone to constant racing thoughts/over thinking everything. In the past months, I have had much difficulty sleeping, and usually pass out mid-day when my body gives out, and usually my mind is still unrelenting.

I am constantly concerned with what others think of me, and feel as though I never fit in, or certainly never have anything worth while to say. Growing up, and in high school, I would be absolutely shocked to hear this is what would become of me.

I have a stellium in the 3rd house with Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune, and though I still consider myself a strong beginner with Astrology, I believe this means I should find communication important. Which I do; I just have such difficulty with it.

Will I ever get over this? I have become so reclusive that I only feel comfortable with the 2 people closest to me (boyfriend and Mother) although I have a handful of friends left. I have a strong desire to go to school, get back to work (moon in 10th house?) but the thought of doing anything other than shopping gives me instant anxiety.

Any help, insight, suggestions are so very appreciated. Also, I am very new to the community

Thanks again

True Node Aries 11°29'54 End of house 6
Chiron 17° Gemini 5'24 In house 9
*(in case anyone is wondering, or this may be used)
View attachment 52838
.

Welcome intuitivepiscesmercury6
habitual afflictive thoughts are a major cause of anxiety https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N_jjY7W_fs

 

[reflektion]

22 degree is a malefic degree in astrology,it is your mercury, communication planet. Plus mercury square in your 3th house saturn, uranus.. I think after your saturn return in your 3th, you will become strong about all the type of communication and realitionships .Best Luck!

 

[intuitivepiscesmercury6]

22 degree is a malefic degree in astrology,it is your mercury, communication planet. Plus mercury square in your 3th house saturn, uranus.. I think after your saturn return in your 3th, you will become strong about all the type of communication and realitionships .Best Luck!

Thank you very much, reflektion! I have been trying to search the omen of the 22 degree since yesterday, not much luck so far. I will continue to look, and look in my astrology books as well. Thanks again!

 

[Oddity]

I've heard that any number of degrees are malefic and am unable to find a credible source for it.

Sometimes they're considered such because - once upon a time - a particularly evil fixed star resided in a particular degree of a particular sign. I think that's where they come from, and since fixed stars do move, albeit slowly, you'd need to update them a lot. I think Ivy Goldstein-Jacobson also postulated that the degree of a recent eclipse or it might have been a lunar node is an evil degree. I don't find malefic degrees to be a useful concept, nor have I seen it work in charts, for what it's worth.

 

[kimbermoon]

The path of healing is not an easy one, but in truth we are all healing from something in our past.
The process begins by finding the inner reasons for your distress; you have to give them a name and identify the feelings that cause your reactions at the conscious level. Then you have to learn to put the past into it's proper perspective, by learning to use your mind and your emotions. You have spent your life being conditioned and influenced by your experiences, now it's time to put 'new data in the computer', so to speak.
Perhaps this is why you have found yourself in retreat, so that you can begin the work at hand. Using astrology as a counselling tool can help you gain faster access to what lies beneath, allowing you to get faster results. It's all about what makes you tick, and why you react the way you do. Anxiety is often the result of feeling out of control over your circumstances, which is the one thing you must gain back. It is also about becoming more self-aware and conscious of the workings of life, and how they impact on you. Auto-hypnosis or psycho-cybernetics are other useful tools at your disposal.
I am available to offer you some private guidance, if so desired.

 

[thelivingsky]

hello,

Your 7th house Sun and NN reinforce the Libra influence in your chart - one of the shadow qualities of Libra is the tendency to place great emphasis on what others think and desire social approval or popularity. With age and experience you likely will overcome this and find ways to voice the best expressions of Libra.

The chart ruler is Venus which falls in the 6th Houses as does Mercury - perhaps there is some perfectionism underlying the anxiety issues? This is the "Virgo" house.

I would recommend trying to get to the root cause of the anxiety you feel. Perhaps working with a professional counselor can assist in this. Sometimes simply getting to the very bottom and identifying the exact nature of the fear is all it takes. Sometimes we think we fear one thing, but it is really something else we are having trouble naming and facing. Often the path to overcoming anxiety is to take small steps - breaking down a task that seems overwhelming or frightening into increments that are manageable. Meditation can be a remarkable aid for any mental health issue and it's free and can be done anywhere.

I, too, have Saturn and Neptune in the 3rd. Mine is square Uranus where your is conjunct Uranus. I also suffered with social anxiety and withdrawal but eventually got over it although it didn't happen until my 30's. Saturn in 3 can make for feelings of being intellectually inadequate and can inhibit speech and expression - sometimes there can be a speech impediment. In any case it makes for a serious mind and a serious style of communication where there can be difficulty or impatience with small talk - but the person can speak about serious subjects?

With such strong planets in 3H trine to your Sun, you surely possess a keen intellect and should do well in school. Anytime there is an afflicted Mercury in a mutable sign (your's squares Saturn and Uranus) there will be issues with mood, anxiety and a sensitive nervous system.

Your NN/SN in 1 and 2 and the Libra influences strongly suggest the need for relationships. I think what you are going through is likely temporary.

Good luck.
Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.net