spacecadet
Well-known member
hi I have just joined this site and have spent the evening avidly reading through many of the wonderful threads on the site. I wonder if I could reopen the discussion about Venus square Saturn. After many years of self analysis and healing I have returned to this placement with an awareness that it is at the crux of every problem I have. I am interested to hear how others with this placement have worked through it or transformed its action in their lives.
My Saturn is in Leo 2nd square Venus Scorpio end of 4th (I interpret as 5th).
ultimately my astrological map, my childhood and the life I have since created have held an ongoing theme of lonliness, sadness and that I am never going to be good enough or lovable. In relationships thisbrings out a needy, mistrustful, over defensive streak. There are positive aspects to my self and my life but this underlying theme has devastated my intimate relationships and interferes with my ability to consciously create the life I desire. Neptune is currently squaring my Venus and opposing my Saturn, activating the placement in my awareness but also confusing me. I know this issue is about self worth but I was raised within a family that was disfunctional, touch was near enough banned, i was a lonely only child, dad left one day and never heard from him again, i never felt loved and the message I got was 'do better'. The message i took from all this wss 'i'm not good enough'. If i have never perceived that i am truly loved (lovable) how can I ever truly know what it is to love myself? I thought I did love myself but my previous relationships have shown me that I'm still amillion miles of target. My esteem crashes in a relationship because i dont belive they love me. I compare myself to everyone around and feel inferior next to them, then i mistrust him thinking he is after every other woman. Its so unhealthy I know but there seems to be nothing I can do about it save taking my boyfriend to an island uninhabited by other women!!
This isn't a 'therapy' website but I would really appreciate hearing positive ways of coping with this extremly difficult aspect. How many of you are in loving healthy relationships? If you felt like this before, what did you do to improve your selfesteem? (PLs excuse any poor readability as I have typed this MSG on my phone and can't see what I'm writing!)
spacecadet
My Saturn is in Leo 2nd square Venus Scorpio end of 4th (I interpret as 5th).
ultimately my astrological map, my childhood and the life I have since created have held an ongoing theme of lonliness, sadness and that I am never going to be good enough or lovable. In relationships thisbrings out a needy, mistrustful, over defensive streak. There are positive aspects to my self and my life but this underlying theme has devastated my intimate relationships and interferes with my ability to consciously create the life I desire. Neptune is currently squaring my Venus and opposing my Saturn, activating the placement in my awareness but also confusing me. I know this issue is about self worth but I was raised within a family that was disfunctional, touch was near enough banned, i was a lonely only child, dad left one day and never heard from him again, i never felt loved and the message I got was 'do better'. The message i took from all this wss 'i'm not good enough'. If i have never perceived that i am truly loved (lovable) how can I ever truly know what it is to love myself? I thought I did love myself but my previous relationships have shown me that I'm still amillion miles of target. My esteem crashes in a relationship because i dont belive they love me. I compare myself to everyone around and feel inferior next to them, then i mistrust him thinking he is after every other woman. Its so unhealthy I know but there seems to be nothing I can do about it save taking my boyfriend to an island uninhabited by other women!!
This isn't a 'therapy' website but I would really appreciate hearing positive ways of coping with this extremly difficult aspect. How many of you are in loving healthy relationships? If you felt like this before, what did you do to improve your selfesteem? (PLs excuse any poor readability as I have typed this MSG on my phone and can't see what I'm writing!)
spacecadet