I really need help
 

Hi. I'm at very difficult point in my life. I'm the type of person who worries too much about everything and it is very difficult to live like that. I somehow managed to deal with that, but lately that became very difficult and I feen very depressed.
I haven't been in love relationship for longer period of time. I am in love with married man, and I know that is not going to happen anything between us (and I would never try anything because he is happily married), but I cant stop thinking about him and it makes me very, very sad that we cant be together.
This is only love experience (if I can call it like that) that I had in several years. A long time ago one man, looked at my chart and said that I have very difficult chart for love life, and if I ever get married (or find partner for life) it would be very late in my life, and in his interpretation he said that I would never have kids. I was much younger then, so I didn't care a lot about what he said, but now it is very important to me. I am very emotional person and it is very difficult to think that i would never have kids, or serious relationship. Could someone please look at my chart and try to explaine my love and family life to me. It is very, very important to me. Thank you.

http://tinypic.com/r/10dbm1c/9

Re: I really need help
 

Natal chart:

Re: I really need help
 

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Re: I really need help
 

Edit: Already fixed

Re: I really need help
 

Your seventh lord is Saturn. Saturn is on your Midheaven making a square to your ascendant lord, Moon. Moon is situated in a difficult house.

For a spouse in a females chart I also look at these two planets:

Mars could indicate short-term relationships.

Mars is in the eleventh house opposed by your NN and Pluto in the 5th.
That means that it's also conjunct your South Node, so you might attract relationships that feel karmic in nature.

Jupiter could indicate long-term relationships.

Jupiter is in the fifth house making a trine to your Sun in the 12th house and also your seventh lord (Saturn). Your Sun is at 0 degrees.

Start to develop that Sun, the more you uncover your own identity and individuality, the more chances you get to enter a long term relationship. You tend to attract very serious and intelligent partners but they also want to say the same thing about you. This is the nature of Saturn, it makes you work for it.

Re: I really need help
 

i'm only a beginner, lots of trines!

venus in leo with jupiter and pluto in scorpio (and sag moon trining venus) ... i could see you being "forward" or "adventurous" about a relationship that might be off colour, yet still "feels right". i had an old friend in a marriage contact me once, and though the friendship was strong, it feels *good* to firmly call it off limits. this may relieve some of the sense of suffering, which i think is connected to desire.

as said, i'm new at this.. sun and mercury in cancer, it may actually be comforting i suppose, to retreat to a more defensive position. with taurus mars being opposed by scorpio pluto, the challenge of the life may be to establish solid foundations for your passions (but the adventurous moon squares with saturn in pisces which may pull you into constantly wondering if it is right to do something that is taboo).

with chiron in virgo, i'd think the path to progress may be in being prudent. i'd say, take a deep breath, and resolve, firmly within yourself that the passion and pleasure and promise this relationship offers is something that would be grievous.. if you had a family, and someone did the same to you, all the sentiment would be the other way. your sun and mercury are in the 12th house, so perhaps tap into those spiritual, karmic feelings and accept the denial for the chance at something better. it would be hard to move forward to something new until you stop trying to move the one way.

if you worry, and if there is a karmic weight, the thought might keep trying to sneak back in. it's a trial and the process can begin to bring joy as a result of betterment. all the beauty of family life would be bitter if built on a poor foundation.

i see this as cancer, defensive and protective, the phase after the schizophrenia of gemini :) and before the assertiveness of strong leo. the first lesson has been learned, regrouping for more growth. be kind, and be receptive to kindness in turn? :)

Re: I really need help
 

I haven't read much beyond that you worry... Immediately I looked at your rising sign and of course you are Cancer Rising! I share it with you and it's not an easy rising sign. Like you, I worry as well. However, I do not share with you your Sun and Mercury in Cancer! That could compound to quite a bit of worry! There are techniques to help you relax. I'd encourage you to look into ways to help you do so. Meditation could be a huge help. Know thyself.

Re: I really need help
 

worrying is like praying for what you DON'T want.

attention is energy.

a chart is your *tendencies.* YOU chart your course.

make a list of what you *want* in a relationship. then ask yourself "who must *i* be to attract that kind of person?" your answer will give you direction. put your energies into *you*, don't throw them away. this exercise helped me see what i value, what i will and will not put up with.

also, bike ride, hula hoop, and tapdance. i struggle with depression, but you can't help but smile when tapdancing, even when you're terrible at it, lol!

good luck. you can do it.

Re: I really need help
 

Hi samis4509 Buddhist monk Ajahn Brahm describes uploading ancient wisdom into modern technology.
and reveal the code for the antivirus to stress :smile:
show how to delete depression
and give Buddha-tech support to peace of mind.
Synergizing Mindfulness with Kindness
we can transform the iPad into the UsPad
and the SmartPhone into the SillyPhone.
Google, your searching is over, the Google Gooroo has arrived!
DON'T WORRY BE GRUMPY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XPDCGlP630

check out the DELINEATING MARRIAGE discussion with example charts http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...ad.php?t=49297

Re: I really need help
 

7th (spouse) in Capricorn and so your ruler of your 7th is Saturn, which means you make up your mind rather late (after 30-35) about marriage and you gain self-confidence in the relationship area not before around that age. However, once you're past 30, the houses that Saturn rules see slow but lasting manifestations. Saturn as ruler of 7th also indicates that you prefer a mate that is older and more seasoned/acomplished than you.

Re: I really need help
 

Saturn ruling the 7th could indicate all that, but not always. It could just as easily mean an insistence on equality in relationships, or a very strong need for boundaries in a relationship... or all of those things.

I would guess that the desire for an older, and possibly more accomplished, partner is true in this case because the you (OP) have Saturn at the midheaven. That may very well play out as being attracted to people who are "above" you in some sense--have more power, higher social status, etc.--and since this is Saturn, it would be the kind of power and social status that comes with age.

Also, you mentioned that your current love interest is "a married man." You are in your early twenties (judging from the positions of your generational planets), and married men are usually older than that. Coupled with your Saturn placement, I would guess that he is above you in some sense... is he your boss, by any chance, or your professor? Seventh house ruler on the midheaven could also indicate meeting your partner through work, which would make him being your boss fit the picture neatly.

However, none of this guarantees that you won't marry until much later. It could happen that way, but if it does, it might be because you don't really want to marry young. Seventh house Capricorn can and often does manifest as a need for stability and commitment in relationships, along with being comfortable with long periods of singlehood. You're probably not the kind of person who feels they absolutely must be in a relationship at all times. Those factors can lead to a later marriage, simply because the desire for an earlier marriage isn't present, or the right conditions aren't present, or both.

As for having children, there are various factors that various astrologers interpret as difficulty conceiving, or no children ever, or, conversely, you will have many children. But astrologers disagree on what those factors are, and none of those interpretations hold up across the board. Some people with charts considered highly fertile never have children. Some people who astrologers say will never have children do in fact have them.

Re: I really need help
 

I don't think Capricorn in the 7th house delays marriage. My friend married at the age of 20, and she had cancer rising/capricorn dsc.

Re: I really need help
 

(this is not about anyone particular, as i don't know anyone here :biggrin:) remember also that just because someone *says* something about your chart, doesn't mean it is so. or maybe it is so, "but...", and mitigating circumstances or other chart influences alter it.

just don't let "tendencies" become self-fulfilling *prophecies*. like, say your map sez, "there are holes." so you don't go running headlong down the path in the dark of night. but someone could read it is, "oh, my! you fall in holes!" and you get so worried and distracted, that you indeed fall in holes...