Hi LaughingPanda - I'd like to see your chart too but will try to go off your question for now. (Sun trine Chiron with Chiron in the 5th house here which isn't quite the same as your aspect but some similar themes and I do know some individuals who have the conjunction - with a Saturn-ruled Sun so some of those themes bleed through as well.)
For Sun-Chiron, if you haven't already, see if
this resonates with you - as these aspects do indeed bring the fragility of life to light in a way that is very difficult to endure for the person with the aspect, especially if this happens to be a hard aspect between Sun and Chiron - on the other hand it also carries a sort of transcendent quality that builds up as you work to heal the wounds represented by Chiron to the point you gain some potent healing abilities yourself - but as it is Chiron we are talking about this is more about healing others' pain than our own.
With Saturn the themes are somewhat different, when you have any major aspect between Sun and Saturn there is a sort of commandment to develop one's own identity in the face of life, but it is done through attrition, we do it because nothing conventional works or is satisfactory rather than because we would like to go in this direction. In the end what we discover with this aspect is something very much our own no one can ever take away from us so long as we are alive.
These are both very heavy aspects as you have alluded to and there is no point pretending they are not - as waybread said "It hurts to be you" and on top of that it is challenging to be you as well because of the difficulties in making things work Sun-Saturn introduces. Nevertheless whatever these aspects do allow you to build is nearly indestructible and comes to define you in the future in a very noticeable way.
I have three books to recommend particularly here - one is Liz Greene's Barriers and Boundaries because it discusses Saturn and Chiron extensively (and I could send you some material from this one), another is Chiron and the Healing Journey, and another yet is Saturn - a new look at an old devil. All have lots of information on these archetypes and how they work and I've personally found them helpful and so have others who have them particularly strong in their charts.
There are going to be lots of traumatic experiences with Chiron in close contact with personal planets but also if your chart has happened to get hard transits from Pluto (especially) so there could be other factors playing into this.[/
Thanks so much for this.It feels very validating to hear from other people what I’ve been thinking/feeling. I think aspects in my chat have given me a destiny where I follow a lonely path and it can feel alienating at times (also Scorpio rising, Pluto in Scorpio in first house so I think that’s part of the lone wolf vibe). On the flip side I know it’s brought strength of spirit- I just wish I could have a lovey dovey vesuvian or neptunium chart sometimes
. It never ceases to amaze me how astrology works. You don’t know me but a lot of what you’ve said feels spot on! I’d be really interested if you could send some of the material you mentioned. How do you find your destiny has been with Chiron in the 5th? Incidentally Chiron is transiting my 5th at the moment.
I still haven’t worked out how to upload my chart using my phone. But my birthday is 31st January 1992 born at 00:52 GMT (London,U.K.) If that helps?