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intergalactic 01-16-2019 11:50 AM

will we ever go from friends to lovers?
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Hello, i have a very close relationship with a guy (the leo in the chart) who i met while Pluto was trine my Venus. We have always had electric chemistry and been flirty, but something is keeping us from taking it further. It came very close for a while but then as Saturn opposed his Venus there was distance and struggles but we kept the friendship. Now it seems as we are back to flirting and cuddling but at the same time we have grown so close that i wonder if its possible to change the relationship.

What can you tell from our synastry and composite? are there things standing in our way or perhaps signs that he is not interested sexually and is just leading me on?

Kikaki 01-16-2019 11:58 AM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
There is loose venus trine mars and venus opposite mars in synastry, so i think there is sexual chemistry and maybe flirting. There is also mercury opposite pluto in synastry and composite chart which i think could mean some kind of mental manipulation.

intergalactic 01-16-2019 12:44 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
Thank you, i haven't read up on the mercury opposite pluto, will check that out.

His black moon lilith is 0° conjunct my sun, and that is something i feel is somehow relevant, but i don't know how. All my past significant romantic relationships has had an exact lilith conjunction or opposition with sun and/or venus, either direction. Do you have any info on that energy? I keep reading up on it but the info is so scattered

Kikaki 01-16-2019 12:54 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
Unfortunately i don't know how lilith conjunct sun manifests in synastry. I had lilith conjunct sun/moon/mercury in composite with my ex. And his lilith was conjunct my ascendant in synastry. There was intense feelings and connection but it was also roller coaster and there was on/off energy.

ElenaJ 01-16-2019 04:43 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
The synastry chart is a little hard to read, so not sure if I'm reading the aspects correctly.
It looks like a sun/mars opposition, which is a physical attraction. The Lilith on sun is very sexually compelling.
There is the Venus/mars trine and venus/mars opposition that kikaki mentions, that are both sexual ties, but the mars in the opposition is also conjunct Neptune/uranus.
Mars is the sexual and power drive in sexual affairs, but the Neptune is fantasy and avoidance, and in conjunction these two energies don't blend well. There has to be a strong lineup of other sexual attractions to counterbalance this contact. Mars has difficulty acting and expressing itself when it comes up against the Neptune nebulousness. So the sexuality tends to remain on a fantasy level.
There is a mutual mercury/vesta conjunction, so the idea of each of you seeing the other as a cosy, comfortable, domestic partner is there, but on an intellectual level.
This does seem to be more of a platonic friendship.
Looking at the composite to see how this all manifests in the relationship, there is Venus close to the sun, so this is an affectionate tie, and she is conjunct Lilith, so there is an attraction link. However, Venus has difficulty acting because she isn't integrated in the chart, aside from an inconjunct with Neptune, which brings us back to the idea of a dreamy contact that isn't concrete. The Venus/lilith conjunction is in an air sign, so more talking and communication than down to earth passion.
Mars is opposing the moon, again the feeling of sexual attraction, with a trine to feel-good Jupiter, but not a strong physical impulse, and not relating to Venus.
Can you do the charts with the inclusion of eros and psyche to see if they touch any of the planets? These are strong sexual asteroids. Also maybe amor, which is pure idealistic love.

intergalactic 01-16-2019 05:42 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
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Thank you so much for your insight!

Goddamn that neptune mars thing frustrates me, most of the people of my generation has Neptune close to my mars, am i doomed to forever be the fantasy? there is no lack of interest from anywhere but to translate into a romantic relationship seems hard for me.

With this one we have been acting almost like a couple and there has been talk of future together and marriage and sexually we've been very flirty and sent nude images and sexted but then when saturn was EXACTLY opposite his venus we talked and he said he was scared to lose me because of sex and i left it at that didnt fight it at all. i guess maybe i was scared too but i cant really see our relationship going on without it.

Here is one with some love astroids and vertex, also a clear table of aspects <3 thank you so much

intergalactic 01-16-2019 05:44 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
also what are your thoughts on us meeting and getting close during my Pluto trine Venus transit? Is the only lasting effect of that that we got to know eachother deeply quickly?

intergalactic 01-16-2019 05:54 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
here are a list of the tightest aspects


Orb 0°-1°
Sun Conjunct Lilith (0°00)
Uranus Trine Moon (0°02)
Mercury Square North Node (0°04)
Venus Trine Neptune
North Node Trine Pluto
Venus Trine Uranus
Saturn Square Lilith
Neptune Square Jupiter

Juno Trine Chiron
Mercury Conjunct Vesta

Orb 1°-2°
Mars Conjunct Uranus
Mars Conjunct Neptune
Jupiter Trine Ascendant
Saturn Trine Moon
Jupiter Trine Juno
Lilith Square Pluto
Mercury Trine Venus
Neptune Opposite Venus
Ascendant Sextile Jupiter
Venus Square Sun

MC Trine Sun
Jupiter Conjunct Ceres
Lilith Square MC
Neptune Sextile Vesta
North Node Sextile MC
Ceres Sextile Moon
Vesta Sextile MC
Juno Sextile Saturn
Pallas Sextile North Node

Orb 2°-3°
Uranus Square Lilith
Saturn Trine Ascendant
Jupiter Conjunct Moon
Moon Trine Jupiter
Uranus Square Mars
Mars Sextile Pluto

Saturn Trine Ceres
Saturn Trine Juno
Vesta Trine Pluto
Lilith Conjunct Chiron
MC Square Uranus
MC Square Neptune
Juno Square Mercury
Jupiter Sextile Pallas

Orb 3°-4°
Ascendant Conjunct Sun
Moon Opposite North Node

Orb 4°
Uranus Trine Ascendant
Pluto Trine Venus
Venus Opposite Pluto


Juno Quintile Venus
Mercury Septile Moon
Juno Septile Pallas
Moon Octile Mercury
Venus Octile Lilith
Mars Octile Pallas
Saturn Novile Pluto
Vesta Novile Ascendant
Vesta Novile Juno
Jupiter Semi-sextile Lilith
Chiron Semi-sextile MC

ElenaJ 01-16-2019 06:20 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
To answer your last question first, keep in mind that whatever transits and progressions you go through, they only bring forth what is already in the chart. If something is not in the chart(s), it will not manifest regardless of the good aspects taking place.
The list of aspects you posted is very impressive, and at first sight it looks like a relationship made in heaven. So why are you having a problem, we ask?
You didn't list eros/psyche aspects, which are important sexual contacts.
In the new chart you posted, the reciprocal Pluto/psyche conjunction jumps right out. Psyche is an intuitive understanding of the partner, and Pluto digs deep into the conscious, so this is a very profound tie, and ever more so in your case because it is mutual.
It looks like your eros opposite his sun, which is very sexy, added to your Lilith on his sun.
His sun on your ascendent is very powerful and promises a long term attraction and intuitive closeness between you.
You have a stellium of Neptune/saturn/uranus/amor/vertex, and it is all just around the cusp of his 5th house of love affairs. These outer planets are not especially conducive to love affairs. And this is where we also find his Neptune/uranus conjunction to your mars.
His Cupido is in your 5th, which makes for lots of fun flirting.

intergalactic 01-16-2019 07:07 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
wow your knowledge is stunning!!! very grateful. i havent included love astroids in the list of aspects as i'm just starting to get familiar, will do!

yes my eros is at 19° aquarius which is opposite his 16° leo sun, and also his venus/mars midpoint at 18° leo. I haven't known eros or psyche to be important in aspect to other planets than each other, this is new to me and i will read more about it! his amor is directly opposite my sun too, if that means anything.

Do you think my outer planets in his 5th along with the mars-nep/ura conjunction is the main obstacle? do you see it as a stop sign or a delay?

so the attraction would be more mutual than him leading me on? it does feel electric but i get scared that i make it up since none of us do anything about it!

In the composite we have saturn in exact conjunction with the north node, the info i've read on that is that it is karmic but that it means obstacles and delay. what do you think?

I'm having a hard time deciphering how to handle this, we've had breakups and no contact periods but cannot seem to stay away from each other, we're the most important people to each other. and since the last of his saturn opposite venus transit, we are very very physical whenever we're around, cuddling, massages, intense hugs.

intergalactic 01-16-2019 07:38 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
also speaking of midpoints, my venus at 18° tau squares his venus/mars mp at 18°leo, i hear that hard aspects to that point can be felt, is that of any significance?

i'm sorry if im overloading with questions, i'm just struggling with sorting it all out as i'm not good enough at astrology to see what is what yet.

ElenaJ 01-16-2019 08:01 PM

Re: will we ever go from friends to lovers?
Those eros contacts are all very positive and very appealing. As well as the midpoints you mention.
The attraction is definitely mutual.
Those planets in the 5th are a mixed bag of stop/go/dreaming. They will always be there, they are part of the relationship, and they won't blend, you will feel them sometimes more sometimes less, you just have to live with them. They will also relate to any eventual children. Note that transiting Saturn and Pluto are passing through that house, creating obstacles and delays.
There are a lot of really positive, compatible aspects between the two of you, apparently you're just waiting for the spark that will set things in motion. And the right moment. Which will pop out when the time is right, without pushing things. Enjoy the love.

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