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myapie 05-14-2018 07:09 AM

i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
1 Attachment(s)
Hello,
i have been working with this woman since last november 2017. She was born the same day as me but 2 years younger.
I feel we clash veyr often. She has a big pride .
She has a moon in scorpio, and she is very suspicious and she analyses a lot.
She likes to be around weaker men as strong women form whom she can take ( and not give in return).

She is very sociable, tall ( yes) she makes someone think of her like of a queen. A lot of people likeher and thinks she is someone. She is used to being talked to as a very good professional.

She asked me to be a part of a workshop we make together last november. She wants to be a leader even though we all are on the same position.
Sometimes im being stubborn and i have a wall to protect me and i dont show emotons. She doesnt understand it.

We make some architectural workshops together and i think she claims that its HER workshop because she KNOWS people.
She talks a lot ( drama) and do less but also she works hard .


She makes me more competitive as for me she wants to be the best and she strives for the leadership.
I m the same level as her. She asked me to to the workshop as a partnership, I am not gonna be on the lower level now.

Do you think i can trust her?
She thinks she can control and do a lot and doesnt say us about stuff she did. But actually shen Me or someone else does the same she is surprised in an negative way that someone didnt tell her.


What do you think?
Thank you.
M

Sunny 05-14-2018 08:11 AM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Hi,
so what you are describing is the classical behaviour of Aries Sun, loving the competition over all. :joyful:

Your problem is shown by her North Node, Uranus (!)/ Neptune conjunction in your both 6th house and in Capricorn, the zodiacal 10th and aspecting your Saturn/Moon and superposing Uranus. Uranus in the 10th (Capricorn) is like another Sun and want to have all royal qualities without exception. :happy: You two, you have the ambition to win all your goals, like "I came, I saw and I won", so to speak. With your conjunction of Moon and Saturn, you have perhaps the tendency to brake off her initiative what an Aries cannot allow ...... :innocent:
So, with your same tendancies you have to learn each other how to make compromises, if you don't want to be continously in a war.

myapie 05-14-2018 02:02 PM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunny (Post 887184)
Hi,
so what you are describing is the classical behaviour of Aries Sun, loving the competition over all. :joyful:

Your problem is shown by her North Node, Uranus (!)/ Neptune conjunction in your both 6th house and in Capricorn, the zodiacal 10th and aspecting your Saturn/Moon and superposing Uranus. Uranus in the 10th (Capricorn) is like another Sun and want to have all royal qualities without exception. :happy: You two, you have the ambition to win all your goals, like "I came, I saw and I won", so to speak. With your conjunction of Moon and Saturn, you have perhaps the tendency to brake off her initiative what an Aries cannot allow ...... :innocent:
So, with your same tendancies you have to learn each other how to make compromises, if you don't want to be continously in a war.

yes here we must have a compromise because other way we would fight a lot.
when we are together or in a group of people that we know, we are chill but when we are with outside people i see that she is 'jumping around' to be the best and most visible in a group, like a center of attention.

but she likes me and when together we talk normally in a calm way.
she sees i am serious.

i think that now when im going through saturn return i became more serious than ever before and i need to show it . new people see me as a professional and grounded person. i like this state of mind.

i hope we will not fight in a bad way.

thank you

Samantha Bean 05-14-2018 02:24 PM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Look in the mirror. Do you want to work with THAT person every day? Its hard when we are confronted with a version of ourselves, and then have to interact with them.

They say you can only change yourself. How do you change someone who is sort of a lot like yourself, when you can only change yourself?

But if you change yourself, with the person who is looking at you in their mirror not also change too?

What an interesting conundrum?

At least you are not married to her.

Sunny 05-14-2018 03:24 PM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Finally I think that this association is very important for you because her Saturn is on your Venus. She is the wise one (Saturn in its own sign, Aquarius), und you are the humanist one (Venus in Aquarius and in her own house). You can be very complementary to each other. Not only she will give a structure to your relationship but also you'll growing up by your collaboration as your North Node is in the same 7th house.

As you two you have your ASC in Leo, you know that you have to give you the mutual respect, and as you are the elder one (right?) you could explain it to her, also, that with your collaboration you have the good opportunity to learn patience and to master your impulsiveness. That's always better than to fight. :wink:

myapie 05-14-2018 03:42 PM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunny (Post 887243)
Finally I think that this association is very important for you because her Saturn is on your Venus. She is the wise one (Saturn in its own sign, Aquarius), und you are the humanist one (Venus in Aquarius and in her own house). You can be very complementary to each other. Not only she will give a structure to your relationship but also you'll growing up by your collaboration as your North Node is in the same 7th house.

As you two you have your ASC in Leo, you know that you have to give you the mutual respect, and as you are the elder one (right?) you could explain it to her, also, that with your collaboration you have the good opportunity to learn patience and to master your impulsiveness. That's always better than to fight. :wink:

hello,
yes we met today and it was totally different as it was during the weekend.
she has some kind of aura of very calm and peaceful person. but it also stands for a diva like- because she is stubborn and proud.

and its very difficult to her to open up.
we work in an organisation that creates some architectural workshops in our city. its very prestigous and famous among architectural environment in my country. every student want to be in the workshop.

she is taller than me, a bit maybe fatter ( ? not fat but curvy) , has a baby face and is very independent as well.

she doesnt work and she goes to every meeting with important people in the environment. even thought its not her 'part' to to it she is always the first to go to the meeting as she doesnt study and doesnt work and has a lot of time.
as she would like to be visible in every environment as the best and the first.

for example i dont have so much time to do it and actually i do my part and other as well but she wants to be the 'general' leader as she must 'be' everywhere on every meeting ( like she doesnt trust others to be competent).

she also takes 'friends' its very childish but she creates some weird relations. when we meet for the 1st time with new people she automatically invite them as her friends to the next meeting.
im not like that and im afraid to open up with my friends as she would 'take ' some of my friends and even one crush i have now.

i must be very careful with it.

IleneK 05-14-2018 04:11 PM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Your charts are actually quite different, as you already know. I suppose what strikes me most is the role of Saturn in both charts. And her Scorpio Moon.

Neither of you has an easy inner feeling life, with both your Moons in detriment [hers in its fall!]. They are not happily expressed very easily in either of you. And by reception, they don't like each other. Your Moon in Capricorn is not only in its detriment, but also conjunct very strong Saturn in its dignity. So you have an amplified innate inner feeling of Saturn upon you.

Now this other this person with the same birth day comes along, and her Saturn is conjunct your Venus, the other planet through which you express more matured feelings. So you must feel the weighting down of Saturn, perhaps its criticism, spoken or unspoken, from her very strongly. And it resonates with your inclination to feel that way anyway with natal Moon Saturn.

It's complicated no doubt about it.

I would try to find compassion for her, by starting to feel compassion for yourself and perhaps the stern feelings or thoughts you may have about yourself in your mind? Like perhaps beginning to pay attention to the negative self-speak you may do, for example, when you find you made a mistake, or did not do the best of all on a project?

Just some other ideas to consider, besides the competition between you, to make things easier for yourself and your relationship with her. And I am sorry you having this difficulty with someone that you have to see so often.

myapie 05-14-2018 04:17 PM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by IleneK (Post 887254)
Your charts are actually quite different, as you already know. I suppose what strikes me most is the role of Saturn in both charts. And her Scorpio Moon.

Neither of you has an easy inner feeling life, with both your Moons in detriment [hers in its fall!]. They are not happily expressed very easily in either of you. And by reception, they don't like each other. Your Moon in Capricorn is not only in its detriment, but also conjunct very strong Saturn in its dignity. So you have an amplified innate inner feeling of Saturn upon you.

Now this other this person with the same birth day comes along, and her Saturn is conjunct your Venus, the other planet through which you express more matured feelings. So you must feel the weighting down of Saturn, perhaps its criticism, spoken or unspoken, from her very strongly. And it resonates with you inclination to feel that way anyway with natal Moon Saturn.

It's complicated no doubt about it.

I would try to find compassion for her, by starting to feel compassion for yourself and perhaps the stern feelings or words that you make have about yourself in your mind? Like perhaps beginning to pay attention to the negative self-speak you may do, for example, when you find you made a mistake, or did not do the best of all on a project?

Just some ideas to consider to make things easier for yourself and your relationship with her, and I am sorry you having this difficulty with someone that you have to see so often.

thank you for this reply.
i am becoming very serious and maybe too saturnian? i do not know actually. but i am more grounded than i have been before.
what i would like to add is that i am afraid to invite her to my company or so because i dont want her to flirt with any of my friends.

she has a boyfriend in other city but told us she likes to be around men and she likes to flirt with others.

its like i am a veryhonour person and when i see people do flirt and create a couple i do not disturb.

i have just an inner feeling of my weakness that she can be better than me in the eyes of my crush or in the eyes of my other ( male ) friends.

she is taller, almost 180 cm she usually wears some heels so she becomes more tall. she is nice to men because she already is in relationship that is grounded. so she is stable in her mind and doesnt need to seek for men.

i am always seekeng for someone because i havent been in relationship for ages. and in the past i was failing all the time because other women were 'better' and faster than me. so actually i have an inner feeling i cant make her meet my friends.

IleneK 05-14-2018 04:50 PM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by myapie (Post 887255)
thank you for this reply.
i am becoming very serious and maybe too saturnian? i do not know actually. but i am more grounded than i have been before.
what i would like to add is that i am afraid to invite her to my company or so because i dont want her to flirt with any of my friends.

she has a boyfriend in other city but told us she likes to be around men and she likes to flirt with others.

its like i am a veryhonour person and when i see people do flirt and create a couple i do not disturb.

i have just an inner feeling of my weakness that she can be better than me in the eyes of my crush or in the eyes of my other ( male ) friends.

she is taller, almost 180 cm she usually wears some heels so she becomes more tall. she is nice to men because she already is in relationship that is grounded. so she is stable in her mind and doesnt need to seek for men.

i am always seekeng for someone because i havent been in relationship for ages. and in the past i was failing all the time because other women were 'better' and faster than me. so actually i have an inner feeling i cant make her meet my friends.

Thank you for this thoughtful and honest response.
What you have written describes both your natal Moon Saturn conjunction and also her Saturn on your Venus [relating, relationship].
The good thing about Saturn and its effects is that we can grow wiser about them as we mature. It is important to accept and respect yourself as you are. Easy to say, and takes a lot of practice. But it is among the best practice you can do.

I wish you the very best on your life's journey.

myapie 05-14-2018 05:00 PM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by IleneK (Post 887260)
Thank you for this thoughtful and honest response.
What you have written describes both your natal Moon Saturn conjunction and also her Saturn on your Venus [relating, relationship].
The good thing about Saturn and its effects is that we can grow wiser about them as we mature. It is important to accept and respect yourself as you are. Easy to say, and takes a lot of practice. But it is among the best practice you can do.

I wish you the very best on your life's journey.

thank you so much.
but maybe what do you suggest on doing when it comes to that person?
should i care about her flirting with everyone or should i let it go?
when i like someone i dont wanna anyone to flirt with him

IleneK 05-15-2018 05:30 PM

Re: i have struggles working with a person born the same day as me.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by myapie (Post 887262)
thank you so much.
but maybe what do you suggest on doing when it comes to that person?
should i care about her flirting with everyone or should i let it go?
when i like someone i dont wanna anyone to flirt with him

It is a big job, takes a whole lot of energy, probably more than you have, to try to control what other people do. And it never works. If someone you like can be distracted by another girl flirting with him, then you don't want to get involved with that guy. He's not ready to be involved with you. When he is, he won't be affected by another girl's flirting.

The problem is not this girl or her comfort with herself or her attractiveness or her height. The difficulty is your discomfort with yourself. Moon Saturn. It is not until you can find comfort with and appreciate what you are as you are, that you will be able to be at ease with the guys you like and with other women who have qualities that you imagine or feel you lack. That is good personal work to focus on and it takes time.

In the meantime
"should i care about her flirting with everyone or should i let it go?"
There is nothing you can do about her flirting. So what good does it do you to care?

If it were me, I would let it go and just let things happen as they will. They do anyway:smile: And it will be a big relief....


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