why this Taurus woman always want to be on the top?

[myapie]

Hello,
that was my friend. WAS is the best explanation.
I cut all connections possible with her because she turned out to be only a popularity seeker and a player. Sometimes she behaves like a man.
She needs to have control over everything - situations, people, especially her MALE friends.


She blocks her rivals ( younger, nice women AS ME) to not be able to get guys from her group.
I realised that only 2 years ago - before i didnt see it as a bad behaviour as she was telling me she only protects me.

But i know its not a true- she needed / needs to remain as the STRONG UNIT in a groups equals to a man member.
I dont know why.

She only has 1 best friend.

SHE NEEDS to be popular and blocks others.

WHY DID SHE BLOCKED ME?

I was having affair with her friend and she started doing a bad PR about me to him.


Thats why it finished.

I am still mad.

I cut her from everywhere.


Please tell me why was she so jealous ?
WHy couldnt we exist normally?

She was always telling me i needed toorganise myself, there were times that she made me feel like i was not enough and i needed to improve because of what she was saying.

SHe mothers people.
I was not assertive then.

Now i am strong i am stronger and i am growing even more strong.

But please, what is in her chart that she needs to block and destroy everything around her? All of her female friends before me also had left her. I didnt know why.

Now i know.

BUt i am aries, i am strong. And i will never let her be in my life again.

Why is she like that? So interested in others lifes as well?

Thanks,

Myapie

 

[Osamenor]

If you've completely cut this person out of your life, and don't intend to interact with her ever again, it's none of your business why she does what she does. The whys would only be relevant to you if you were continuing to have any kind of relationship with her, and even then, it would only be relevant as far as it affects your choices in how you interact with her.

The real question to ask is why you are so strongly affected by her. And why you're reacting the way you are. I see a couple of things, both in your own chart and in your synastry with her:

Your moon and hers may be in exact opposition. Impossible to say for sure because, since you cast a noon chart for her, and since people don't usually tell their frenemies their time of birth, it appears that you don't know her time of birth. Her accurate time of birth could move her moon up to 6 degrees either way. If you have your moons in opposition to each other, that can create a powerful attraction--not necessarily sexual, but personal; it could be an "I really want to be your friend no matter what" kind of attraction.

However, it's a case of opposites attract, and it may be very difficult to see eye to eye. People with their moons in the opposite signs have opposite needs when it comes to emotions and to what they need to feel secure. Capricorn and Cancer are both very security-oriented, and typically introverted, but in opposite ways. Cancer is very feeling, emotional and sensitive, and needs to feel that they're in safe space because they feel so darn much. Capricorn is the least emotional moon sign: Capricorn moon people are the ones who keep a cool head when others are melting down and wonder what all the drama is about. Capricorn's basic need is to feel that they're achieving something through their own efforts, which could be worldly success or just personal success, while Cancer doesn't care about that, just about feeling safe.

All signs in opposition have opposite needs, although the details vary. The result of that is, people with their moons in opposition to each other's don't readily understand each other's emotional needs and responses. The other person's feel like a completely foreign country to you, and yours feel the same way to them. If both people are aware of that and respect that the other person has different needs, it doesn't ruin the relationship, but very often, people aren't aware. Moon also points to our deep seated assumptions... we all tend to assume that others experience emotion the way we do, and we react accordingly. When there are placements that suggest aggressive reactions (more on that below), it's a recipe for constant battle based on your different emotional needs. That in turn feels like extreme aggression on the part of the other person, to both of you.

Both of you have placements that suggest hotheaded, impulsive interactions with others, particularly with other women. In her case, she has a possible Mars/Moon conjunction: it would be within orb of conjunction if her actual birth time is between noon and mid to late afternoon. No matter where her moon actually is, her Mars is in opposition with your moon--so that could increase your friend-attraction to her, and hers to you, and also trigger the aggression instinct in both of you.

If her friendships with other women have indeed all been going as you describe, I suspect the Mars/Moon conjunction is pretty darn close for her. If her Moon is in Cancer, along with her Mars, that would double down on the emphasis on this happening in relationships with other women... or perhaps in family and family-like relationships. It would also suggest an aggressive mothering instinct, which fits with your description of her "mothering" you. She has this in opposition to her Saturn--and your Saturn, too; since you're the same age, you both have Saturn in the same place--which suggests authoritarianism, or rebellion against it. This could be a person who rebels against having had strict authority over them, by taking authority over others.

In your case, you have Mars and Venus conjunct--wide orb, but still close enough to be worth examining--in your seventh house. That suggests a strong aggression instinct that could easily be triggered by people in your life, especially anyone who is either a romantic partner, or a close personal friend, or someone you see as a rival. That Venus is involved, suggests this aggression instinct being directed at female friends in particular. Is this the first time you've ever had a rocky relationship with a female friend? Do you tend to have rocky relationships with romantic partners?

You also have a conjunction between your Moon and Saturn, which suggests authoritarianism, a need to be responsible, and/or a need to be in control on your part. Since this is in opposition to your former friend's Mars, and likely her Moon, I can easily see the dynamic between you being something like this: she reacts to what she perceives as your authoritarian nature, you react to what you perceive as her aggression, and it turns into a constant battle of one upmanship: who can be more aggressive? Who can take more control? Perhaps you both, unconsciously, remind each other of negative characteristics of your parents or other people from your early life.

 

[myapie]

If you've completely cut this person out of your life, and don't intend to interact with her ever again, it's none of your business why she does what she does. The whys would only be relevant to you if you were continuing to have any kind of relationship with her, and even then, it would only be relevant as far as it affects your choices in how you interact with her.

The real question to ask is why you are so strongly affected by her. And why you're reacting the way you are. I see a couple of things, both in your own chart and in your synastry with her:

Your moon and hers may be in exact opposition. Impossible to say for sure because, since you cast a noon chart for her, and since people don't usually tell their frenemies their time of birth, it appears that you don't know her time of birth. Her accurate time of birth could move her moon up to 6 degrees either way. If you have your moons in opposition to each other, that can create a powerful attraction--not necessarily sexual, but personal; it could be an "I really want to be your friend no matter what" kind of attraction.

However, it's a case of opposites attract, and it may be very difficult to see eye to eye. People with their moons in the opposite signs have opposite needs when it comes to emotions and to what they need to feel secure. Capricorn and Cancer are both very security-oriented, and typically introverted, but in opposite ways. Cancer is very feeling, emotional and sensitive, and needs to feel that they're in safe space because they feel so darn much. Capricorn is the least emotional moon sign: Capricorn moon people are the ones who keep a cool head when others are melting down and wonder what all the drama is about. Capricorn's basic need is to feel that they're achieving something through their own efforts, which could be worldly success or just personal success, while Cancer doesn't care about that, just about feeling safe.

All signs in opposition have opposite needs, although the details vary. The result of that is, people with their moons in opposition to each other's don't readily understand each other's emotional needs and responses. The other person's feel like a completely foreign country to you, and yours feel the same way to them. If both people are aware of that and respect that the other person has different needs, it doesn't ruin the relationship, but very often, people aren't aware. Moon also points to our deep seated assumptions... we all tend to assume that others experience emotion the way we do, and we react accordingly. When there are placements that suggest aggressive reactions (more on that below), it's a recipe for constant battle based on your different emotional needs. That in turn feels like extreme aggression on the part of the other person, to both of you.

Both of you have placements that suggest hotheaded, impulsive interactions with others, particularly with other women. In her case, she has a possible Mars/Moon conjunction: it would be within orb of conjunction if her actual birth time is between noon and mid to late afternoon. No matter where her moon actually is, her Mars is in opposition with your moon--so that could increase your friend-attraction to her, and hers to you, and also trigger the aggression instinct in both of you.

If her friendships with other women have indeed all been going as you describe, I suspect the Mars/Moon conjunction is pretty darn close for her. If her Moon is in Cancer, along with her Mars, that would double down on the emphasis on this happening in relationships with other women... or perhaps in family and family-like relationships. It would also suggest an aggressive mothering instinct, which fits with your description of her "mothering" you. She has this in opposition to her Saturn--and your Saturn, too; since you're the same age, you both have Saturn in the same place--which suggests authoritarianism, or rebellion against it. This could be a person who rebels against having had strict authority over them, by taking authority over others.

In your case, you have Mars and Venus conjunct--wide orb, but still close enough to be worth examining--in your seventh house. That suggests a strong aggression instinct that could easily be triggered by people in your life, especially anyone who is either a romantic partner, or a close personal friend, or someone you see as a rival. That Venus is involved, suggests this aggression instinct being directed at female friends in particular. Is this the first time you've ever had a rocky relationship with a female friend? Do you tend to have rocky relationships with romantic partners?

You also have a conjunction between your Moon and Saturn, which suggests authoritarianism, a need to be responsible, and/or a need to be in control on your part. Since this is in opposition to your former friend's Mars, and likely her Moon, I can easily see the dynamic between you being something like this: she reacts to what she perceives as your authoritarian nature, you react to what you perceive as her aggression, and it turns into a constant battle of one upmanship: who can be more aggressive? Who can take more control? Perhaps you both, unconsciously, remind each other of negative characteristics of your parents or other people from your early life.

Hello, thank you so much for the answer...
I really appreciate it.
What can i say more..
Answering your questions- it was my first time with a female friend that i needed to delede her from my life because i felt uncomfortable.
Usually I have very long relationships and I like people.
It was my 1st 'serious' drama in my life with her. Because we have known each other since high school. So it made an impact on me as well. But now i feel better.


When it comes to my relationships with men... Yes they are very rocky. I can say that I think NOW when i am 28 i feel more grounded. Even 3 years ago I felt a bit not serious andchildish dissorganised even when i was 25.

But inside i was serious , i just couldnt make me feel serious outside. i wanted people to perceive me more seriousely not as a funny girl.

Since high school my relationships have been very bad. No communication, ego driven relationships. me being too cocky, men beingtoo cocky, jealousy...

Someone told me its because My Saturn- i have been Saturnian person in some Saturn square Venus relationship twice and i scared the men out . It wasso bad because i wasnot very experienced and all of my actions have been missinterpreted.

That is why i posted a new thread a few minutes ago because I like some man but STILL do not know if he likes me... I hope he does but i dont know.
I dont want to change myself but on the other hand i dont wanna 'scare' him.


I still dont know how i should change to be more feminine and more mature? Even younger women are more feminine innerly and their personality is soft... My is too aggresive sometimes... I dont know.

 

[Osamenor]

And there are a couple of things that make these issues much bigger than they would normally be, which I didn't get around to saying in the previous post: you have your north node conjunct your Venus/Mars conjunction. The north node increases the expression of any planet near it. The result: for you, that aggression instinct in personal relationships is very, very big. So, probably, are your feelings about anyone you're attracted to, whether it's a romantic attraction or a friendship attraction. So, this placement is extra charged.

Her Mars and possible Moon conjunction is conjunct your Jupiter and square your sun and Mercury. Jupiter also magnifies everything it touches. So, this whole dynamic involving Mars and Moon for her, hits you hard in your sense of self (sun) and ability to communicate (Mercury). That would explain why you've felt that you had to go along with her assessment of you and "improve" yourself to meet her standards.

Meanwhile, your Venus/Mars conjunction squares her sun. So, in the same way, your Venus/Mars dynamic hits her hard in her sense of self. Both of you are, apparently, tearing down each other's senses of self, probably all unconsciously.

 

[myapie]

And there are a couple of things that make these issues much bigger than they would normally be, which I didn't get around to saying in the previous post: you have your north node conjunct your Venus/Mars conjunction. The north node increases the expression of any planet near it. The result: for you, that aggression instinct in personal relationships is very, very big. So, probably, are your feelings about anyone you're attracted to, whether it's a romantic attraction or a friendship attraction. So, this placement is extra charged.

Her Mars and possible Moon conjunction is conjunct your Jupiter and square your sun and Mercury. Jupiter also magnifies everything it touches. So, this whole dynamic involving Mars and Moon for her, hits you hard in your sense of self (sun) and ability to communicate (Mercury). That would explain why you've felt that you had to go along with her assessment of you and "improve" yourself to meet her standards.

Meanwhile, your Venus/Mars conjunction squares her sun. So, in the same way, your Venus/Mars dynamic hits her hard in her sense of self. Both of you are, apparently, tearing down each other's senses of self, probably all unconsciously.

So i have an unconsious problem with my aggresion that is resulted by north node?
I am aggresive inside- usually i make arguments with family members i am very energetic- when i go out i put a mask of a nice women.
But it changed after this situation- i dont mean i became a monster but i became more assertive of my own needs. Now i can talk and i talk and say my needs and everything in a nice manner.

BUt its easy to make me nervous- i learnt that i can make arguments with friends because i dont agree with something. I haev had NICE relationships because i have been passive and all of my friends have been passive.
Usually we agreed on almost everything so that is why it was so NICE and PERFECT. But inside i didnt like it.
When i started to be kind of against ( not everything ) some ideas i met some blockages because people have been used to me being NICE and PASSIVE.

Now i start to be active and assertive but in a normal and nice manner not aggresive.


If you could, please could you take a look on my second thread about a Virgo man? I hope i will not scare him

 

[Osamenor]

So i have an unconsious problem with my aggresion that is resulted by north node?

What I meant by unconscious was the interaction between you and your former friend. It looks like the two of you were unconsciously pushing each other's buttons in the worst possible way. You are obviously aware of your aggression instinct and working with it. When you're aware of it, it's not an unconscious problem. The unconscious problem was how your friend set it off for you, and how you set off hers. Doesn't sound like she was conscious of it, either.

BUt its easy to make me nervous- i learnt that i can make arguments with friends because i dont agree with something. I haev had NICE relationships because i have been passive and all of my friends have been passive.
Usually we agreed on almost everything so that is why it was so NICE and PERFECT. But inside i didnt like it.
When i started to be kind of against ( not everything ) some ideas i met some blockages because people have been used to me being NICE and PASSIVE.

Now i start to be active and assertive but in a normal and nice manner not aggresive.

Mars is also self assertion. To be appropriately assertive, you need Mars, and you need to use your Mars energy. If you're agreeing with people but not comfortable with it, you're suppressing Mars. Suppressed Mars just might explode and become great aggression at some point.

If you're acting more like yourself, but your friends became friends with a version of you that wasn't entirely like yourself, that will change friendships. Maybe destroy them, if your friends aren't willing to accept the real you. But it's still important to be yourself, even if it means leaving some friendships behind. That, in fact, is very Aquarius, perfect fit for your Mars/Venus sign.

 

[Osamenor]

But inside i was serious , i just couldnt make me feel serious outside. i wanted people to perceive me more seriousely not as a funny girl.

Leo rising is good at coming across as whatever gets you liked the most, and often very concerned about what others think of them. If that means being a funny girl, Miss Popularity, then that's what you'll do. Your sun and Mercury trine your ascendant, so your core self (sun) and the way you communicate (Mercury) helps draw people in.

But moon represents our deepest feelings, and Capricorn is very serious. If you had a Capricorn moon on or trine your ascendant, it would easily be part of your surface personality. But because it doesn't aspect your ascendant, that serious side of you isn't what readily comes across.

I still dont know how i should change to be more feminine and more mature? Even younger women are more feminine innerly and their personality is soft... My is too aggresive sometimes... I dont know.

For you, becoming more mature doesn't mean developing a softer personality. In fact, what you need is the opposite. Your placements indicate a person who needs to speak her truth, and speak it bluntly. Mars and Venus in Aquarius, angular: your ability to put yourself forward (Mars) and relate to others (Venus) is driven by Aquarius's truth saying power. Aquarius will say what she believes, whether it's socially acceptable or not. That might result in becoming an outcast. That might result in becoming a leader, showing everyone else a new way to be.

Mercury in Aries isn't soft spoken, but speaks bluntly. It's not natural for you to speak in a different way. If you try, you're just suppressing yourself.

However, Aries is sextile Aquarius by sign, meaning placements in those signs can easily help each other out. Diplomatic Venus can help you say your truth in a more diplomatic way, but that doesn't mean whitewashing it.

The kind of people you need in your life are people who accept your outspokenness, appreciate it, and are willing to speak their own truths. Your seventh house shows that. If that's not who you have in your life, the solution is to look for different people, not change yourself. If the shoe doesn't fit, you don't change the foot, you wear a different shoe.