Hello Kabbado,
I am not the most knowledgeable on this site, but I know the pain of being singled-out when it comes to familial strife, so I wanted to help.
To begin with, it is understandable with so many planets in Pisces, and with Neptune conjunct your ASC in the first house, that you would inevitably feel victimized in some parts of your life. Based on your natal chart, it appears that beginning from day one, you had to deal with people projecting their needs and desires on to you. You often found yourself serving others and their needs, and while it felt good to assert yourself as the giver, you perhaps lost yourself to this role.
There is a strong indication that growing up, your father was also victimized in a similar way that you were, and that this almost now a legacy in your family. Your mother, while warm to you, often engaged in power-struggles with your father, and both were erratic in their affections towards one another. Some of this inevitably has rubbed off on you and has followed you into your adult life. Whatever the case in your childhood (and I could be wrong), you rely heavily on what went on for you as a child. There was certainly a pain and wounding that followed you into your adult life, especially as it relates to others in the outside world.
There has always been issues of power for you, both in your personal and public life, and in all aspects of relationships. It seems what has been easiest and most rewarding for you has been friendships in which you were the helpmate. Relationships were romantic often ended up with you in service to the other in a most uncomfortable way.
You are fine with asserting yourself, even great at it, but it is where you assert yourself, and in what position you assert yourself to, that becomes the issue. One with Scorpio rising and an Aries Sun conjunct Mars is certainly powerful, but your Sun remains below the horizon, in the fifth house, and Mars is in the 6th house. While a Sun in the Fifth house is a lovely placement, it is conjunct Mars in the 6th, meaning you often express the bulk of your willpower in some form of service. This is not a problem what so ever as it stands alone, especially with a nice sextile from Jupiter in the 8th, indicating that this way of expression is fulfilling on a deeper level as well. The problem comes in because none of this supports your Venus which is opposing Uranus and Pluto, nor Saturn which is also opposing your Uranus in Pluto. You more often retreat to this place of power, rather than have the opportunity to express it more openly.
In other words, to more explicitly state what I am implying, you may unwittingly and unconsciously allow yourself to become a victim because of your reserved status.
I don't know your wife's chart, but the Venus opposed Uranus and Pluto says a great deal. You seek, perhaps without knowing it, someone who is controlling, but also tempermental. Someone who embodies what you grew up with. The environment you grew up in forced you to limit your needs and desires, and retreat into a fantasy world. You current relationship allows you to do the same thing, and moreover, you seek this because this what you know and can depend on.
Your dream is to have a lover that knows your deepest desires and wishes and to pursue fulfillment. While many people want this, your life has almost revolved around fulfilling this. What you have done, however, is sacrificed your own desires, and allowed yourself to become what others want, living vicariously through their desires.
Your wife appeared to have that kind of power and promise. You are now learnly, harshly, that she does not.
The lesson for you is about not being the victim, about not becoming what others want. You have your North Node in Taurus in the 7th house. This means that for you, you must find a relationship which soothes and satisfies you, and one where you can soothe and satisfy the other person, equally and fairly and wholly. You must put your needs on the table, firstly, and demand they be treated fairly and equally.
As far as your future, I'm not good with transits and progressions, but I will try.
Currently, transiting Uranus is conjunct your natal Saturn, and Jupiter is conjunct your natal Venus. Clearly there is an eruption going on. Uranus and Jupiter are opening wide the floodgates of Venus to Pluto and Natal Uranus, and Saturn to these same points. All of the issues I mentioned earlier are out on the table for you to see, and to deal with, if you so choose.
As a strong Pisces type, you cannot back down. You feel exceptionally wounded because you don't feel like you have any say (Neptune conjunct Chiron in the 3rd house currently), and this feeling will only get worse. Those planets will soon be moving into your fourth house, only exacerbating this feeling of victimization. You have two choices: wallow in your feelings, or go inward and heal yourself. You Scorpio Rising indicates that you can be strong. Pluto is currently transiting your second house, indicating a change in finances, but also personal satisfication and self-worth. This divorce may free you more than you realize, but the road will be painful and limiting until you really explore what you value. To me this chart is one of someone very spiritual. Maybe this will give you more time for that?
The beauty of this transit is imminent, however. I hate to sound so negative, so let me present you with the positives. Not only is Venus currently conjuct your Sun (indicating new love and new relationships... is there someone else in your life right now?) you are feeling an inner connection (and you have for some time now) that you haven't felt before. You are able to be more objective than you have been in the past, and can learn a great deal at this time. There are many opportunities for friends and new choices, as well as self-development. This is that classic "letting go of the old and bringing in the new," and none of what is going on for you right now has taken you be suprise.
Your solar return for this year is INCREDIBLY powerful. This is a makeover of your public image. You should breathe a sigh of relief here because you have desperately needed this. The opportunity to sell and to be independent. To pursue your goals and dreams and to make something of yourself. This year for you the road will open. Deep inner transformation, thought frustrating, is possible. You will want to cling to old patterns out of comfort, and there will be enemies, hidden ones, which will show up, probably at divorce court. But you will be powerful and strong, and your lawyer will help you in ways infathomable to you at this time. You will feel hopeless about relationships, but please keep in mind these feelings will pass.
This year is about you, standing on your own two feet, getting what it is that you want and deserve.
You will feel guilty and think you are being selfish.... THIS IS THE TEST YOU MUST PASS. To feel guilty and to feel selfish, or to honor what is rightfully yours?
I hope this helps some.
mod.
