Will we separate (this year)?

[TamaraL]

I have recently asked about the future of my longterm relationship. We have both shared a beautiful and healing time together but I keep thinking that I am not in love anymore. Meaning I don't have any motivation to continue the relationship further, as we are more like best friends at this point. We also face difficulties on our respective careers and this adds extra anxiety to the relationship.
Its very difficult to say what will happen at this point.

Question: Will we separate this year?

Chart: Capricorn ASC- Me - Saturn Retrograde in the 1st House.
My boyfriend is Cancer in Taurus in the 4rth House(He has also a Sun in Taurus natal) and he seems in a more stable phase than me as reflected in this horary.

There is a square between our significators.
Also his significator is conjunct Uranus which tells me its a yes as Uranus is often associated with separation.
What am I missing here?

Best,
T.

 

[IleneK]

If this were a "Will we get together?" question, with a square between your sigs I would say yes, but it will not be pleasant. Since this question is the opposite, " Will we separate?" I, too, see it as a yes. Especially given the lack of notable reception between him/Moon toward you [only by term] and you/Saturn to him [none], and your comments about how it is for you.

 

[TamaraL]

If this were a "Will we get together?" question, with a square between your sigs I would say yes, but it will not be pleasant. Since this question is the opposite, " Will we separate?" I, too, see it as a yes. Especially given the lack of notable reception between him/Moon toward you [only by term] and you/Saturn to him [none], and your comments about how it is for you.

Thank you for your comment IleneK. We are at a critical time of our relationship because we have been together almost 3 years. 3 abnormal years with career difficulties. He sees me as someone he wants to move in but to it sounds extremely stressful as an idea. So I don't see how this can work out. I had asked the same question last year and it was a no. Its interesting that both sides have no reception. I thought that he would be hurt because I see him more like my best friend and not like a romantic partner. That doesn't mean I don't care for him as a person.

 

[IleneK]

I think that what you have between you, a deep friendship, is a good thing. A gift.
If you are not motivated to have the relationship grow deeper, I honestly don't see what the question is. It seems you have answered it and the chart appears to reflect your lack of desire for the relationship to progress.
If the two of you are attuned in deep friendship then his lack of reception in this chart may reflect his understanding or sense of your lack of motivation to proceed.

 

[TamaraL]

Yes I see what you mean. I feel a bit guilty to leave the relationship to be honest because technically we see each other as a healthy relationship, meaning its a rare opportunity to be able to be honest, go to the theatre together etc. I have never met another couple like us and it happened exactly because we met via our common interests and were friends for 6 months before we became romantic partners.
Also our composite and synastry chart shows many rare aspects meaning this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. There is compatibility and he is someone who has lost his family from a young age, he is self made and has self-esteem. What I am trying to say is that he expected a lot from a partner and he didn't come into this superficially.

The problem begins with my brain and always searching for ideal, perfect etc. He knows about this because I have shared my thoughts over fear of long term commitment. Its hard for me safe with the current financial instability I can't focus on my relationship at this point. Lastly I am someone who has been diagnosed with ASD when I met him and that is the reason I have difficulty with connection, meeting new people, moving in..etc. He gives me all the time in the world but at this point this is not enough for me.

Its a sad realisation that I have found the ideal partner and all I need is to be alone.

 

[IleneK]

If you are certain that all you need is to be alone, then separation is best.
What you describe between the two of you is what true deep relationship is about, whether you call it friendship or love. There are many ways to be in deep, deep relationship depending upon the unique two people involved. You don't even have to live together.
I hope you may be able to talk openly with him, what is going into your thinking and decision making. It could be that some middle way between what the two of you are thinking about could be created through your open and honest conversation.
Alternately, if you know in your bones that you need to be alone, then that is what you should do, for both your sakes. I think this chart reflects your strong sense of need to be alone.
My heart is with you. If you feel like you would like to PM or talk about this, I am here.

 

[TamaraL]

I have given myself quality time to reflect on my relationship and there are days that it feels good.
The main problem I am facing is that I feel depressed over my career struggles, long term unemployment, financial problems and it affects my relationship.
The positive thing is that we both want to give this a chance and we just got a pet (a kitten).

 

[IleneK]

Thank you for your reply. In my personal opinion, you have an excellent foundation for lasting loving and committed relationship. Again, that is just how I see it. So I am pleased for you both that you are electing to continue, even with the personal struggles with which you are faced [the square between your significators: coming together and with challenges]. Relationships feel good sometime and they feel bad sometime, just like everything else.
I am wishing all three of you the very best.