Will my Mom ever find peace in her life?

cappy1991

Well-known member
A little background info: My Mom has been divorced twice, both marriages lasting about the same amount of time, roughly 12 years each. Soon after she divorced my Dad she began dating and quickly moved in with my step father. Her marriage to him was more or less unhappy and now she says she is relieved that she is divorced from him. However, since separating from her last husband she has constantly either been serially dating men off of online dating sites or in some cases these turn into serious relationships. Every time she gets out of one relationship she immediately begins spending all of her free time and weekends looking for the next guy. So far she has had one or two fairly serious relationships since her divorce, one of them having ended badly for her. Now however she is again in a serious relationship. She has been with this man for about 4 months and is basically living with him. This man and one man from her previous relationships have a drinking problem which also affects their health. I can tell it bothers her but it seems like she is trying to overlook it and she thinks it will get better. One time I asked her, while she was in-between relationships, why she always had to be in a relationship or looking for one? Why not just stay single for a little while and find stuff you enjoy doing on your own or with friends? Her reply was basically that she felt she just needed a man to feel complete and that she didn't like being alone.

Sometimes I feel sad for her because she does not have any close friends that live in the area and she really does not have any hobbies of her own. When she's in a relationship she takes on whatever hobbies her boyfriend has; if it's hiking she hikes, if it's boating she does that too. But when she's by herself she has nothing. I feel like with any guy she's with she'll stay in a relationship with him even if he is an alcoholic just so she won't have to be alone.

It's hard for me to understand because I like my alone time! Can you tell me if her chart shows any of this relationship neediness and if there is any hope for her to find true love with a good man? I have not liked her choices in men so far, they are all very drunken. I know she could do better if she could just be patient!
 

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greybeard

Well-known member
First place,
What you see is what you get.

If your observations of your mother show her to be "relationship-dependent", then her chart will also show that.

Second place,
Not everyone thinks and feels the same way you do. Many people in this world, probably most, cannot stand to be alone. Look at all the unhappy, drug-afflicted, violent marriages/relationships.

I don't usually interpret charts for folks here...
But notice that the South Node is exactly conjunct the Descendant (7th House cusp...the house of relationships.)
Venus is retrograde, cadent, and in a dual sign. Not favorable for relationships.
Saturn, who is very powerful in the chart (Lord of the Horoscope, and Leading Plant in the Locomotive pattern) is badly placed by sign and badly aspected. This planet that, more than any other in the chart, represents the general course of the destiny and tone of the life is in poor condition.

Her life is hers, not yours. There is little you can do to "help" her. The problem therefore resolves to "What are you going to do about this situation, within yourself.?" Your difficulty is internal, not external. It is a matter of attitude or perspective, something you DO have control over. Such situations sometimes call for hard choices.
 

tr1nity

Well-known member
I had a quick look and ran your mom's chart on astrodienst and don't get the same chart in your jpeg. It might be an idea to check it?
 

greybeard

Well-known member
Good job, Tr1nity. I accepted the chart as given.

I recommend to all students that they use astrodienst for casting charts. Astrodienst is proven accurate and reliable, while many other sites (not all, but many) produce questionable charts.

There are still a few glitches even in astrodienst, mostly because of artificial time changes instituted politically (one came to my attention from Lithuania recently). But on the whole, the astrodienst charts are the most reliable on the internet.
 

Vista

Well-known member
I have Solar Fire and have Sag at 19 degrees in your mother's chart.

Venus is conjunct the Desc however it has no major aspects from any other planets. The conjunct to Mars is 9 degrees and in different house, not sure how many people would consider this viable.

Cookbook astrology shows dual signs on the cusp of the 7th house points to more than one marriage. This certainly hold true for your mother. The ASC/DESC rulers are in sextile showing her ability to have relationships and to marry.

Jupiter the chart ruler is dignified in Taurus and conjunct the Moon in Taurus 5th house sextile her Sun and Mer in the 7th house. Taurus likes being in relationships and the concentration of planets inside the 7th connecting to the 5th house and in aspect to Moon and Jupiter emphasizes this need.

She really screams wanting and needing to be in a relationship however I believe her unaspected Venus rx causes her problems.

Mars rules her home life as a child and it's squaring both Uranus and Pluto pointing to abuse of some sort in her childhood....also neglect and instability. The unaspected Venus rx and the hard aspects from Ur/Pluto to her 4th ruler likely drive her to pursue one relationship after another. Moon and Jupiter and opposing Neptune - projection of alchohol issues onto the partner.
 
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cappy1991

Well-known member
Thanks everyone! I will be sure to look in to astrodienst for charts next time as I think the app I have give me natal charts is not totally reliable or easy to read! Thanks for the info!
 

tr1nity

Well-known member
Hello,

I took the opportunity of having a quick look at the synastry chart for you and your mom and see an earth grand trine involving your sun, moon and her moon. I'm still at the 'cook book' stage of astrology, but I do know in sacred geometry it's the 3rd harmonic aspect in chart patterns and you have to activate the grand trine for it to work. In the element of earth it's very solid, therefore in my opinion it's an unbreakable circuit of energy which works in harmony once activated. I also see that you and your mom's moons trine at 3 degrees, imo this means your souls are touching. In addition, her South Node conjuncts your IC also at 3 degrees. The IC is the most sensitive part of your chart, we can make a comparison to the solar plexus of the physical body i.e. it's where your soul lives.

As greybeard says, your mom's life is her own, however I just wanted to let you know of the special connection that you both share.

Best regards.
 

Krewster

Well-known member
Well she may be accused of poor judgement (Merc 45 Uran w Nept "red" triangulating via semi-octile family aspects)...

but she seems to have a more exciting (or play-oriented) life than many her age (Sun midpoint/apexes Jup tri-decile Uran to make the 54-108-54 triangle)...

and her Ven knows how to turn on the charm (1 min-orbed bi-quintile to Nept and a novile to the Moon, etc)...

Perhaps her experiences/behavior emphasized in your post can be chalked up to that tight Mars 90 Pluto (needing to be in-charge of something?) and her 13 min tight-orbed Ven undecile Jup (need to cast one's vulnerability into the social wind?)....
 

tr1nity

Well-known member
Thank you tr1nity! :) How would someone activate the grand trine?

Only the two of you can activate it, it's your special pattern. I would say because the Sun(identity) and Moon (heart) are involved, just keep the communication going and it should flow with ease.
Good Luck with everything.

PS There is a discussion on Grand Trines currently in natal astrology which you might like to read.
 

Flowergirl

Well-known member
People with Sun in the 7th may tend to see themselves (their identity) through a partner and it may be difficult for them to see/experience their identity on their own. It is part of the journey your mother's soul chose to take on in this lifetime. Best you can do is to respect her experience and make peace with it.
 
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