Will I ever get over my depression over the death of my father?

geminimercury

Well-known member
Posting from China, sorry English is my third language.

I have alot of deaths in my immediate blood family.
But in 2019 I lost my own child (my son) AND I also lost my father. The death of my father is what broke me to the core, the pain is excruciating.
There isn't a day since my father passing where I don't think of join him.

3 years passed already and I just can't seem to get over my father death, he is my Sun in 9th SHINE bright on me (without him--my Sun, it just complete darkness), my Mercury also in 9th with the Sun, my father ALWAYS on my mind.

I'm surprise I'm still living, the reason why I'm still here is because of my spouse (my spouse is my Jupiter in 7th), or else I would have go with my father already.

Will I ever get over the death of my father, or I will just be living like this until the day I die. I just can't seem to let go of my father.
Credit to my spouse--the reason why I continue on, as I have completely lost faith in life since my dad died.

The Stellium in my 5th (where Mars is the Out of Sect greatest malefic of my chart, and Mars also is the strongest planet and the Final/Sole dispositor of my chart), and Saturn, BOTH are cruel to me.
Beside my father (my Sun), that Jupiter in 7th (my spouse) is the only thing ever good happened to me, I'm not an easy person to live with, only my spouse can put up with me, I guess a falling Jupiter still work.

My chart below:

chartw-Degrees.jpg
 
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waybread

Well-known member
geminimercury, I am sorry that you have lived through so many tragedies.

There is a saying about the death of a loved one, that you will never get over it. But you will get used to it.

If the grief has been going on for such a long time that you feel you cannot get back to normal after 3 years, I hope that you can see a counselor or psychologist, so that you can get some professional help in dealing with your sadness.

Traditionally in astrology the 4th house rules one's father. With Libra on the cusp of your 4th house, you have an 8th house Venus symbolizing your father. The 8th is the traditional house of death, so it seems only natural that you would associate strongly with your father's death. Transiting Saturn has been sitting on your Venus for some time now. It will move off but you understandably are now in a period when you would feel your loss more keenly

But is this ongoing misery what your father would have wanted for you? If he could talk to you today, what would he say about your not letting go of your grief? See if you can honor your father's memory in a more empowering, life-affirming way. Perhaps you could write up a biographical sketch of your father to share with family members. If a particular cause was important to your father, maybe you could do volunteer work or donate money to support it. Maybe it's time now to focus more attention on your spouse or other family members who are still living.
 
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