Hi Weee11,
When someone says there life is a bit chaotic, I immediately think of Pisces, Neptune and the 12th house. You have a Moon/Jupiter opposition to Neptune. This can attract situations in your life where you can feel vulnerable or overwhelmed. Home life can be chaotic, and disorganised with this aspect. The South Node in 12th there can be a tendency to live a little chaotically -the North Node in the 6th house is leading you towards a life which is more simple, more practical and organised. You may need to live a healthier lifestyle. There can be a dynamic of feeling victimised, but by doing some kind of group work will help you, get out of these hopeless feelings.
Here is a Nodal Reading:
The South Node in LEO 12th house - This means you are naturally, warm, generous and creative, you may not be consciously aware of this with this Node being in the 12th. Solitary, spiritual practices can help you get in touch with these qualities. You may also be unaware of your need for validation and appreciation from others for these qualities. When you are feeling ignored or taken for granted, you may act out to get attention, and because these needs are so rooted in the unconscious of your 12th house, you may not fully understand why you behave in this way.
The Key to balancing this energy is to work with your NN in Aquarius 6th house - The 12th house relates to our emotional and soul needs, the 6th house relates to our routine physical needs. The 6th house relates to illnesses because if we are not looking after our body with proper nutrition, rest and exercise on a daily basis, we will get sick. The 6th house is also related to our job and work environment, which is an essential part to maintaining our physical existence. The NN in Aquarius in the 6th house encourages you to focus your energy on a much bigger project than your own needs. You need to part of a larger group, in an environment where your efforts are appreciated but also kept in perspective. You are most likely to find this in your choice of job, and you are likeliest to be happiest in a job where yo are part of a team and have shared goals and objectives. The sense of community that you will find through your group projects, will help you avoid the traps of the South Node in Leo, you no longer will be dependent on the validation of others, because you can clearly see how your contribution has helped accomplish the group objectives.
(Above Nodal reading by Kevin Burk "The Complete Node Book".)
The up and downs of emotions may be connected to the Jupiter/Saturn aspect in your chart it is tight and connected into those sensitive emotions, this may explain the ups and downs you can feel, like a see-saw effect with this being an opposition aspect.
Development wise: I see the Virgo Ascendant as the self in development, I have this Ascendant, and I am not organised, I also have the Moon/Neptune aspect. Virgo are qualities for you to continue to develop.
Saturn in Capricorn: You are learning to take on responsibilities, to develop a sense of duty, and to amount to something in life. You will eventually develop realistic approach which the world demands of you. You will become an authority in what at first was possibly an area of difficulty - Organisation.
The emphasis on Scorpio and Capricorn does not always mean you are well developed in the sign archetypes. You are learning to develop these qualities.
The feelings of rejection - You have a Venus in Capricorn conjunct Saturn this may affect your sense of self value.
Reading of Venus in Capricorn:
You have very deep needs and feelings that take time to surface into conscious awareness. Even when they do surface you require time to make sure, and feel secure, that what they are feeling or needing is correct. Even then you can be very slow to relate, share, or communicate these feelings and/or needs to other's because of a pre-existing fear that has occurred because you may have experienced rejection/or wrong judgment all too often early in your life.
As a result the Venus in Capricorn person learned to deeply compress and protect your feelings. You need to try and embrace the Capricorn polarity, which is Cancer, you must reflect deeply on the nature of your psychological imprinting created within your environment. There is a need to re-create a new self image that is free of the shackles, chains and conformity reflected in your environment. In this way you will feel differently about yourself, you will learn to "hear" differently from within yourself. At some point in your life you have become emotionally arrested. Your emotional development and maturity have become blocked or stopped at some point. You are living the wounded child syndrome.
You will need to learn to unearth your emotions, and remove all the guilt associations related to your being. In the process you will lose your fear of rejection and false judgement. You will learn the security you have been looking for lies deeply within yourself, it's about becoming an adult who is self-secure, healed and unafraid to be who they are.
(Above reading taken from Jeff Green but shortened, as it is about 8 pages long.)
These are the general indications to why you are feeling this way, you will get out of these feelings if you keep focused and make goals in your life.
