Why does Pisces girl keep doing this?!

ThisIsMe

Active member
She keeps leaving me, and then coming back to me. IS this typical?! can someone look at mine and her charts?!:) thx
 

Lion o ness

Well-known member
Yes Pisces are known for disappearing like that. Drives everyone crazy..

It's not personal it's taking alone time to regenerate..

I have the Pisces Asc.. Im come and go also... It's just needing personal space. Time to think...

But truth be told when I feel somewhat hurt or misunderstood, I will take off.. Feeling that I cant really explain myself..
 

Mark

Well-known member
I just feel the need to point out that this sort of behaviour is wildly selfish. It's not pleasant, but it needs to be said. Sorry. You can take time for yourself without leaving someone. :unsure:

Also, keep her away from Dr. Phil. Encourage the services of a real therapist in the local community; though, understandably, it is hard to find good help.
 

Kenoshamaensa

Well-known member
I think a lot depends on everything ELSE in the chart. A Pisces Rising with a Libra Sun is hardly inclined to the same leave and return that a Pisces Rising with a Sagittarian Sun might be, or Sagittarian Venus.

I have noticed that Pisces people (Sun, Moon and Asc.) are often introverts, although again, other aspects in the chart can alter that. But an introvert isn't the same as leaving someone. An introvert needs a certain amount of "alone time" on a regular basis in order to stay sane. This tendency is frequently *not understood* by extroverts. It's like the difference between cats and dogs. :-D If the extrovert gets upset because the introvert doesn't want to spend every waking hour with the extrovert, then s/he has fundamentally misunderstood his/her partner.

A Piscean Sun or Rising with, say, a Gemini or Sagittarius Sun or Rising is going to be a problem unless aspects between the charts (synastry) indicate better mutual understanding. The NEEDS of the two people are quite different. ONCE MORE, other aspects could temper that a lot. A Pisces Rising with a Gemini Sun might get on just *fabulously* with a Gemini Rising. For this, I think the quality is especially important. Water and fire don't mix that well. So if you have a Pisces Rising person with a Sagi Rising person, and they don't share Lights in compatible (or in fact, the same) signs, the poor Pisces person will be just overwhelmed by the Sagi person ... or the Sagi person will feel the Pisces person is constantly raining on his/her parade. These signs are at square ... they create friction.

Sometimes a quick glance at Sun, Moon and Rising signs are enough to explain problems, but also consider Venus for how relationships are experienced/what "feeds" you in a relationship, and Mars for how sexuality is expressed. My ex- had a Scorpio Venus and I had a Leo Venus and DESPITE sharing the same Sun and Moon sign, and both having water ascendants (me Pisces, he Cancer), the huge difference in our Venuses (plus some other bad aspects in synastry) wound up being a significant problem. Ultimately, we just weren't speaking the same language when it came to relationships ... what we needed out of them, wanted to give in them, and in fact, what we believed "love" itself to be.
 

KayBug

Well-known member
I am a Pisces, Sun in the 4th house. Also have Mercury in Pisces in the 4th along with Vesta and Par Fortune. My Ascendant and Moon is in Scorpio with Moon being in the 12th house.

I "go away" or "leave." I Must have alone time and alot of it. Time when I don't want to be around anyone and want no one around me. I regenerate myself when alone and in my home. I live alone which is good for me.

It is not selfish to be "away" from people or "leave" people. My daughter always says I have, "disappeared like Casper."
 

dr. farr

Well-known member
Historical Note: this "characteristic" of Pisces, being discussed in this thread, was elaborated as a Piscean "essence" in the oldest Western astrology book we have: Manilius "Astronomica" (14 AD-over 100 years before Ptolemy) Manilius makes a special point of this tendency in his elaboration of Pisces and its qualities.
 

Kenoshamaensa

Well-known member
Historical Note: this "characteristic" of Pisces, being discussed in this thread, was elaborated as a Piscean "essence" in the oldest Western astrology book we have: Manilius "Astronomica" (14 AD-over 100 years before Ptolemy) Manilius makes a special point of this tendency in his elaboration of Pisces and its qualities.

I find that very interesting, given my interest in ancient history and astrology/astronomy. Do you happen to have a citation for it?

Also, re: introversion and the tendency to misunderstand introverts, let me direct all you extroverts here (*grin*):

"Caring for Your Introvert"

This is an Atlantic magazine article, only partly tongue-in-cheek ... nothing to do with astrology, per se, but VERY useful to people who don't "get" introverts and are inclined to regard introversion as a "problem," a "weakness," or "selfish." Those are all EXTROVERT judgments. It's helpful for astrologers (or anybody) to familiarize themselves with introvert tendencies that are perfectly normal.

Let me also add ... there is a BIG difference between the need for "alone time" and the tendency to simply distance one's self emotionally and/or disappear altogether when commitment offers. These are NOT the same thing, but extroverts sometimes confuse them due to the need felt by many extroverts to be in constant contact. Extroverts are "fed" (emotionally and spiritually) by contact with others. Introverts are "fed" (emotionally and spiritually) by time with the self. If one doesn't understand (or respect) the needs of the other, it's a match made in hell! ;>

Additionally, the amount of "alone time" each introvert needs can vary, but most of us need a couple of hours a day. Someone constantly badgering us is *annoying*. Give us our alone time, however, and we can be quite social otherwise. In fact, sometimes too MUCH alone time can result in bored introverts looking for a phone call, something to do, etc. The difference is just that introverts can and do entertain themselves quite well and can get downright CROTCHETY if forced into CONSTANT elbow-rubbing (such as, say, at family gatherings over several days when ducking off to one's guest room to read a book for a few hours is regarded as "unfriendly"). Trust me, you'd rather let me get off by myself for a while than deal with me after 3 days of constantly being around other people! Give me some hours to myself, and I LOVE visiting, however.

Also, introverts aren't necessarily SHY ... another common confusion. I'm very much an introvert, and not at all shy. ;>
 

dr. farr

Well-known member
Yes: Manilius mentions this Piscean tendency in book 2 of the "Astronomica" (Loeb Classics Library edition) approximately in the sections line 200-600 of the second book.
 

Lion o ness

Well-known member
Keno....

That was a really great post! Very true by the way... Im a Pisces Asc with a Leo Stellium, Venus in Cancer.. Im introverted.. I HAVE to have some time to myself.. I prefer to be alone. It does contradict my Leo, but shrug it is what it is...
 

Kenoshamaensa

Well-known member
Yes: Manilius mentions this Piscean tendency in book 2 of the "Astronomica" (Loeb Classics Library edition) approximately in the sections line 200-600 of the second book.

Thank you muchly! I will have to go and track down that entire work.

Lion-o-ness: YES, I'm a Libra Sun and Aries Moon, Leo Venus and Mars ... but Pisces Rising. That alters EVERYTHING ... all that fire (and air). I'm not shy, I really do love people, I love spectacle (although not usually "drama") ... but I absolutely MUST have some alone time, preferably daily. As long as I do, I really, really enjoy people and interacting with them.

Additional note, like many introverts, I love small group parties with good friends, I love tete-a-tetes, and I also have no problems with public presentations (do them all the time as a professor) ... but I HATE unstructured parties full of people I don't know well and have to make small talk with. I've learned to do so, over the years, but it take me being in the RIGHT mood, and it always requires "recuperation" time afterwards.
 

Lion o ness

Well-known member
Yes Im the same way... Im not shy, but I cant stand being in large groups of people/ crowds..

I prefer small gatherings myself, which is when my Leo comes out :tongue:

Leo rules my 6th, so at work Im "outgoing" so to speak... A bit more friendly.. BUT it took me a while to get that way.. But I do work with a small group.. But at work is where I shine... Im the typical Leo Manager... lololol
I dont have a problem standing up and making a speech.. I like the attention.

But when I need my alone time, I get really annoyed when I get bothered..
 

Tamara

Well-known member
i`d take a look at uranus aspects in your sinastry chart...it shows on again/off again type of relationship
 
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Mark

Well-known member
KayBug said:
It is not selfish to be "away" from people or "leave" people. My daughter always says I have, "disappeared like Casper."

The selfishness depends on how your behaviour impacts those around you. I'm an introvert as well and I tend to stay up quite late (usually at least 3am) because that's the only time I can trust I won't be disturbed. The selfishness of your behaviour depends on whether or not people like your daughter are damaged by it; understanding, of course, that there's a difference between damage and disappointed wants, although enough disappointed wants can be pretty damaging. I'm not saying that you are being selfish. I'm saying that your statement might be better put: "It is not always selfish to be away from people."

ThisIsMe said:
She keeps leaving me, and then coming back to me. IS this typical?! can someone look at mine and her charts?!:) thx

This is the original post that started this thread and I interpretted it to mean that she would distance herself emotionally, psychologically, and physically, if not even suspend the relationship. Effectively, the relationship gets suspended whenever you're absent, so whether or not you say the words is only of intellectual consequence. I may have misinterpreted that first line, but the effects are the same. If they weren't the same, this thread wouldn't have been started.

If an introvert wants to have a family, then that introvert needs both family time and alone time. Sometimes the trouble is too much expectation on the part of the family and others it's a problem of the introvert just not wanting to deal with it all. Either way, if the family suffers because you chose your alone time over them, then we can see which is more important. If your alone time costs them nothing, then you're clean. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert and extroverts do misread introverts all the time. The proper question is: What results from your choice of where to put your energy? The answer to that question will tell you whether or not you're actually selfish.

Lion o ness: If introversion contradicts your Leo, it contradicts mine too. I believe the Ascendant has more to do with mental tendencies like this. Even that isn't a 1-for-1, but it tells a lot more than Sun sign.

P.S. That "Caring for your Introvert" article actually is really good.
 
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LittleMiss

Well-known member
I think a Pisces person often can have problems articulating their wants and needs. They feel it, and act on it if they don't find another way, but aren't always that good at expressing exactly what they want...

But I would like to know more, what is happening when she disappears?
 

BobZemco

Well-known member
An introvert needs a certain amount of "alone time" on a regular basis in order to stay sane. This tendency is frequently *not understood* by extroverts.

I understand it, because I happen to be both highly extroverted and introverted. When I step on stage, I'm ready to rock and I'll run the show if I get a chance, but when I step off-stage, don't nobody better bother me.

If the extrovert gets upset because the introvert doesn't want to spend every waking hour with the extrovert, then s/he has fundamentally misunderstood his/her partner.

That is not an extrovert. What you are describing is someone who is emotionally insecure and needs constant attention (and probably validation as well).

An extrovert should have a hobby or something to keep them busy. When I want to be around people, I go over to Media Bridges and run a camera, run the control room or help someone edit their television show.

Mark said:
I just feel the need to point out that this sort of behaviour is wildly selfish.

It is not selfish at all. Entertaining people and meeting the needs of others 24 hours a day, 7 days a week while ignoring my own needs is not my function on Planet Earth.

That is a stereotypical problem with Cancerians and Pisceans. They spend all their time nurturing others and providing and supporting others that they fail to look after their own needs, and then they become desperately unhappy and depressed because their life is half over and they haven't accomplished any of their goals or dreams.

A little balance goes a long way.
 

anjelik

Well-known member
I have a Pisces Sun, Gemini Moon and Venus in Capricorn.. I find that I do the same thing in the beginning stages of a relationship. Once I start to feel someone has similar feelings, or even stronger feelings than mine I start to panic and back away for a little while. It's more of a cold feet thing in my case. I'm extremely extroverted, so it's not really about having alone time, it's more of making sure that I'm making the right decision and not become suffocated by someone too quickly. However, after a few months of this song and dance (could be weeks or months) if I figure this is the person I want to be with then I'll settle nicely into a relationship.
 

Mark

Well-known member
BobZemco: If you had read any of those other words I typed, you would see that I said the selfishness depends on the effect your behaviour has on others. Either extreme on the scale of "alone time" is obviously a bad thing. No more straw men for you. :)
 

Lion o ness

Well-known member
The funny thing is I once dated a Pisces Sun (before I was into Astrology)
I couldnt understand why he would disappear on me.. Even though I wasnt calling him, he should have at least been calling me... LOL..

Which goes to show that the Pisces disappearance is done by instinct, I never really realized I did this.. I would get really confused when people asked me where I've been.. My answer was what do you mean? I been at work/home..
 

skye

Member
Im a Pisces, who attracts and dates many Leos. It might have something to do with the fact I have moon&Asc in Leo.

Anyways, A fish swims away as a defense mechanism, its an instant reaction, we just do it. Whether, you hurt her feelings or shes pouting about something else, she is swimming away to protect herself. How deep the hurt goes is how far n deep she will swim.

She expects you to go after her, swim with her, thats part of her drama n inner child, til she realizes how silly shes been or she wants to be loved again, she returns, bran new again, fresh n ready to love.

Im not sure if its the pisces or leo in me, but its also a test of your affection, how deep are you willing to go? Almost as if you need to prove to her your a worthy swimmer who can reach her depth.

Shes gonna keep doing it til she gets a wake up call, and realizes your not a fish and cant always swim as deep as her, Im sure shes young, and does not have a grip on it yet. All, you can do is love her, reasurre her, make her smile, give her a challenge, understand who she is, but you do need to handle her as a spoiled child a times. Like every child she ll thank you later when she grows up emotionally.

I take advantage of the ones who give into my every little whim, and the ones that give in but know how to pull back and play the game too, I swim back to faster. Dont give up on her, she doesnt mean to hurt you, she thinks shes been hurt in some kinda way.

Hope it works out, IM all for a leo n pisces living happily ever after lol.
Keep me updated!
 
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