Why didn't it work out?

[Lonerose99]

Why did this relationship not work out?
I just don't understand. It's been almost 50yrs of weaving in and out of one another's lives. When the time came to come together it just didn't happen. The composite chart is the first one. The synastry chart is the second. At the present time, he calls but I don't answer. Too many things have been said and done. What does he want from me?

 

[Lonerose99]

Here is the progressed composite.

 

[IleneK]

Let me begin by saying I am sorry for this outcome after being in each other‘s lives so long. I am sure the elements of the relationship, both being together and becoming estranged, are complex, so I don’t mean in any way to reduce it to these few rudimentary observations.
The first thing that stands out to me is the prominent t-square in the composite, in the combined workings between you. And most especially the “gang up” of Sun Venus Mars all exalted by Mars in Cap and squaring, blindsiding so to speak, the inner feeling of the relationship, Moon. Sun exalts Moon, Mars receives Moon by dignity, but this is not enough for Moon; Moon has rejected this Sun Venus Mars-exalted phalanx by both reception and aspect. The Moon stands apart and alone from these other composite personal planets. The expression and nurture and support of the feeling life of this relationship is stymied.
The Moon does benefit from its reception with exalted Jup, although by blindsiding square. So this is not enough to compensate for the isolation that Moon experiences from the personal planets, which are Moon’s closer kin in the solar system.

Synastry reveals the harmonies that kept your lives weaving with one another: trining Moons, *both* of your Venuses conjunct the others’ Mars! I have to wonder if your Suns squaring might have been a contributing factor to the undoing of the relationship, perhaps some kind of battle of the wills? One Sun weakened by debility in Aq especially challenged/dominated by a conjunction of the other’s Mars? And natal Pluto hitting the Venus Mars conjunction in Scorpio hard by square and really close by degree?

Transiting Saturn (and also transiting Uranus in the lower fixed degrees) has been shaking up a number of the personal planets in both of your natal charts. So maybe it was just time for things to shift and change between you? I really don’t see these transits necessarily signaling the end. But the foundations have been shaken and I think only something new will be the result.

 

[Lonerose99]

@IleneK Pluto hitting Ven/Mars, possessiveness! But when in youth, I just went home and cried, suffering silently. I got to the other side of it, matured in that possessiveness I can say - his possessiveness as an adult has been, dare I say, childish. An energy of I'll teach her, and she's mine. While my energy grown is he doesn't have to be that way to me doesn't he know I'm there?

The Sun/Mars battle of the wills has made for lively conversation often bordering on competition and one-upmanship. We are equals and he knows it. When all's well it's fantastic. But sometimes he has fought that nonetheless. The sex and otherwise harmony are out of this world, to where we can walk into a room full of people, get noticed and take control, it just happens! I've seen the dynamic in action, Mars trine Jupiter both ways as well omg. He has seen it too. He has said there must be something we can do with this.

And then there's that shut-off in him, I just can't figure it out. Distance . Moodiness. Foul mouth. It doesn't make any sense. Then he calms down and just wants to pick up where we left off. He did have a very troubled childhood. He just has not realized I am there for him no matter what. It's like I can understand what he doesn't. I don't know what that is, maturity level? But there comes a time when even I have had enough. Scorpio, often the last one to leave the room I have heard.

Something new, a shift in the foundation you say. It has crossed my mind as we go into our elder years that we are still side by side, but it will be changed. Into what I do not know yet.

 

[IleneK]

Me and my spouse, we finally got it really right, a shift in foundation, in the late years of our life. We now like to call them the halcyon years.
We are both close in age like you and him and also around the same age, a bit older.
Our composite has a challenging t-square in fixed signs. And a few really sweet trines. Synastry also re-iterates my natal fixed t-square. And yet there are some other natal other contacts that have remained indelible and very sweet.
We never know what will happen, so we might as well remain open to the possibilities.
I am truly wishing you the best.