Why can't I get women to want me like other men are wanted by women??

clip11

Well-known member
I saw something on social media where one guy had impregnated and been in relationships with six conventionally attractive young women. There's nothing remarkable about him. He's not rich, tall and he's average looking and looks to have a gut. But he has no problem obtaining genuine affection from the opposite sex.

The women let him live with them, had his children, didn't care about him having money. They just wanted him for him. And I wonder, why can't I just be wanted like that. Not that I want to go around just making babies, but it's better than being unwanted. And I don't know what it is, but it seems like every since puberty, I have had trouble attracting the opposite sex. It's as if there's this invisible force that won't let it happen.

I'm desperate at this point to find a solution. Is there anything... anything at all in my chart that shows where I can get a solution?

astro_2gw_frank.14680.184534.png
 

Humanitarian

Well-known member
I think it's because women thinks that you're too egoistic, as you have Neptune (L7) conjuncts Sun, the planet of ego and also Mercury, your chart ruler too, and Jupiter, the traditional L7 squares your Saturn-IC midpoint with an orb below 1 degree, suggests that they think that you're eithe too responsible (Saturn) for your family or too attached (Saturn) to your family. You have L7 (Jupiter) square Chiron, and that means your relationships have some themes of healing in it, but you don't channel it well now because it's in conflict and tension (square, a Martian aspect). Maybe you need to wait until Saturn enters your 7th house to help you learn a love lesson, then you'll have a normal relational life as similar as another normal people whose already have a wife and even have a good life with their wife and children!
 

clip11

Well-known member
I think it's because women thinks that you're too egoistic, as you have Neptune (L7) conjuncts Sun, the planet of ego and also Mercury, your chart ruler too, and Jupiter, the traditional L7 squares your Saturn-IC midpoint with an orb below 1 degree, suggests that they think that you're eithe too responsible (Saturn) for your family or too attached (Saturn) to your family. You have L7 (Jupiter) square Chiron, and that means your relationships have some themes of healing in it, but you don't channel it well now because it's in conflict and tension (square, a Martian aspect). Maybe you need to wait until Saturn enters your 7th house to help you learn a love lesson, then you'll have a normal relational life as similar as another normal people whose already have a wife and even have a good life with their wife and children!
When will Saturn be in my 7th house?
 

astral tal

Well-known member
Hey clip11,

I think you'll have all this issue solved when you'll meet a women who is from another country, or you'll be on some adventure abroad and meet a female with a cultural difference than your your own. Then you'll have a wider gap to bridge and that's what gives you more action and conversation.

I have to go,
We can continue later
 

Osamenor

Administrator
Staff member
What makes women interested in a man varies from one woman to another, but there's something at the core of it that probably all of us women who are attracted to men have in common: we want men who show interest in us. If a man exudes an attitude of, "I want a woman for my own needs, you will do," that's a complete turn off.

I don't know if you are exuding that attitude in person, but between your chart and the way you phrased the problem, I suspect that you are. You didn't say you were interested in any particular woman. You didn't say you'd noticed any woman and thought, "I like talking to her, would like to spend more time with her," or, "She's such an interesting person, I want to get to know her better," or even, "She's attractive and seems nice, I want to get to know her better."

What you did say sounds to me like your wish for a woman is essentially a wish for a commodity. Arm candy, to make you feel like a man. That's not what any self respecting woman wants to be treated as.

Turning to your chart, I see a tight sextile between Venus and your ascendant, which suggests that you come across to others as attractive and pleasant. It's not looks that's standing in your way.

But you have most of your planets sandwiched in between (besieged by, in astrology speak) Saturn and Mars, which square each other. Saturn being the first planet in a stellium, and nearly all of your planets below the horizon, suggests deep introspectiveness, introversion, and likely social awkwardness, shyness, difficulty connecting with others. If you are socially awkward, or were in your formative years, that would be a huge barrier to getting to know women and drawing them in. Especially in a society that puts all the pressure on the male to make the first move. Your early experiences shape your perceptions. If you had difficulty connecting with the opposite sex when you were young, chances are you continue perceiving that as difficult, even insurmountable, for you, whether or not it actually is at this point in time.

Saturn square Mars would exacerbate your sense of frustration. When Saturn and Mars are in aspect, especially a hard one, that tends to create a certain kind of impatience. Mars wants to charge ahead, wants what he wants NOW. Saturn slams on the brakes. Mars reacts by becoming more impatient and, often, belligerent.

That, along with your wording, is what makes me think there's a good chance you're exuding an attitude of entitlement, rather than personal interest, towards women. If that's so, then as long as you are carrying that attitude, you're not likely to get very far.

You also have the capacity to make deep personal connections with people who interest you. Venus in deeply honest, connective Scorpio and DC ruler Jupiter in intuitive, connective Pisces, at your DC, speaks to that. If there is any woman you're genuinely interested in, for herself and not just thinking of what she could do for you, what stops you from connecting with her? You can do it.

If there's no woman you're genuinely interested in, it's not really a woman you want, it's an idea that "woman" represents to you.
 

clip11

Well-known member
@Osamenor
"Your early experiences shape your perceptions. If you had difficulty connecting with the opposite sex when you were young, chances are you continue perceiving that as difficult, even insurmountable, for you, whether or not it actually is at this point in time"

Yeah, when I was younger (hitting puberty and becoming interested in girls) I didn't have much luck with the opposite sex.
 

waybread

Staff member
Clip, I think your OP shows a real issue where "women" are concerned.

Please stop thinking about "women" generically as potential boinking buddies ready for the next hook-up, and think about what it takes to form a deep, loving relationship with a special person. Women do not exist on the planet to service lonely men's needs. Women exist to be their own autonomous people. You might consider how to contribute to that.

I can't say that this works 100% of the time, but I have noticed that polyamorous people tend to have strong connections between Venus, Mars, and Jupiter. You have these aspects in your chart. So probably it is only natural for you to want to emulate some guy with half-a-dozen ladies in his life; but the problem is that most other people don't operate that way.

Yes, there are women who are perfectly happy to sleep around with no commitments, but they are not particularly turned on by a guy with a weak self-image who projects a strong sense of need.

I note that you have a big stellium in your 4th house of "home." This suggests to me that you prefer to be at home. I wonder if you are really putting yourself out in circulation, meeting people. Chatting on the Internet isn't the same thing.

With sincere respect, Clip, sometimes people with a moon-Uranus conjunction have mental health issues. This is through no fault of their own. But especially with the square from Mars on your 7th house cusp, you may inadvertently come across as moody and erratic-- even when you don't mean to be. If mental health is an issue for you (and I am not saying that it is,) I hope you can get supportive health care.

I think a big rule of life is, if you want something so badly that just isn't happening, to let it go. When people are desperate for a relationship-- or even a one-night stand; they project a lot of need and insecurity, which is a big turn-off to most other people (who quite possibly are just looking to get their own needs met.) Once you let go of trying so hard to make something happen, you create a lot of space in your life.

Best wishes for your journey, W.
 

Fz hb

Well-known member
Hey Clip,

You have received solid analysis here. Just want to add my two cents to this conversation. First thing I noticed even before I clicked on the image was the grand square with lots of traffic at the base of the chart. On opening the image, Mars in seventh and pluto in second sextile sun in 4th made the situation more clear.

You are always talking to yourself in your head which prevents you from engaging actively with people around you. You also have too much sympathy for yourself because of that chatter in your head which makes you interpret everything in just your own way. You need to interact more with people. May be start volunteering at social or community events or somewhere else to begin to learn to interact actively. Active engagement is the keyword here.

About the Sun-Pluto situation, you come across as someone who is very possessive about your home, belongings, and routine, and people might perceive you as someone who doesn't have room for anyone in your life. Anyone who wants to form an attachment looks for a partner who is accepting and willing to change and adapt. As per your natal chart, you dont come across as that.

To manage these you need to dive into your progressed chart and see areas where your personality can evolve in a more relationship friendly manner.

Best wishes
 

clip11

Well-known member
Hey Clip,

You have received solid analysis here. Just want to add my two cents to this conversation. First thing I noticed even before I clicked on the image was the grand square with lots of traffic at the base of the chart. On opening the image, Mars in seventh and pluto in second sextile sun in 4th made the situation more clear.

You are always talking to yourself in your head which prevents you from engaging actively with people around you. You also have too much sympathy for yourself because of that chatter in your head which makes you interpret everything in just your own way. You need to interact more with people. May be start volunteering at social or community events or somewhere else to begin to learn to interact actively. Active engagement is the keyword here.

About the Sun-Pluto situation, you come across as someone who is very possessive about your home, belongings, and routine, and people might perceive you as someone who doesn't have room for anyone in your life. Anyone who wants to form an attachment looks for a partner who is accepting and willing to change and adapt. As per your natal chart, you dont come across as that.

To manage these you need to dive into your progressed chart and see areas where your personality can evolve in a more relationship friendly manner.

Best wishes
How do I get a progressed chart?
 

clip11

Well-known member
Clip, I think your OP shows a real issue where "women" are concerned.

Please stop thinking about "women" generically as potential boinking buddies ready for the next hook-up, and think about what it takes to form a deep, loving relationship with a special person. Women do not exist on the planet to service lonely men's needs. Women exist to be their own autonomous people. You might consider how to contribute to that.

I can't say that this works 100% of the time, but I have noticed that polyamorous people tend to have strong connections between Venus, Mars, and Jupiter. You have these aspects in your chart. So probably it is only natural for you to want to emulate some guy with half-a-dozen ladies in his life; but the problem is that most other people don't operate that way.

Yes, there are women who are perfectly happy to sleep around with no commitments, but they are not particularly turned on by a guy with a weak self-image who projects a strong sense of need.

I note that you have a big stellium in your 4th house of "home." This suggests to me that you prefer to be at home. I wonder if you are really putting yourself out in circulation, meeting people. Chatting on the Internet isn't the same thing.

With sincere respect, Clip, sometimes people with a moon-Uranus conjunction have mental health issues. This is through no fault of their own. But especially with the square from Mars on your 7th house cusp, you may inadvertently come across as moody and erratic-- even when you don't mean to be. If mental health is an issue for you (and I am not saying that it is,) I hope you can get supportive health care.

I think a big rule of life is, if you want something so badly that just isn't happening, to let it go. When people are desperate for a relationship-- or even a one-night stand; they project a lot of need and insecurity, which is a big turn-off to most other people (who quite possibly are just looking to get their own needs met.) Once you let go of trying so hard to make something happen, you create a lot of space in your life.

Best wishes for your journey, W.
The thing is that I am a conventionally attractive man in that I have a muscular physique I'm about 6 feet tall and 200 pounds and very lean. I have a masculine face like good cheekbones, square jaw. I'm in my 30s, everyone at my job thinks I'm in my 20s. I still get called "young man" . For example, I live in a college town and if I went to a college bar, I would blend in easily. The only reason I mention my appearance is so you won't think I'm ugly or it's my physical appearance that's my problem

However, I was a slow developer and during my young teen years I was very physically underdeveloped (added to the fact that I am afflicted with ADD) and girls didn't typically find me attractive. So while boys around me were having girlfriends and getting attention from the opposite sex, I was the odd one out.

And I don't care what anyone says, those formative years have a big effect on you psychologically. Good or bad. Unfortunately for me, it was bad. I know for a fact that had I been successful with the opposite sex during my middle school and high school years, I would be a lot more confident and at ease with the opposite sex today, even if I was starting to bald and get out of shape.

Now, I don't "put myself out there" as in approach women for the reason outlined above
 

waybread

Staff member
Clip, so it's not about your looks. Can you think of how you come across to women who interest you? Do you approach women as real people, just as you see yourself as a real person? Or is there usually a sexual agenda in you mind. where you objectify them?
 

clip11

Well-known member
Clip, so it's not about your looks. Can you think of how you come across to women who interest you? Do you approach women as real people, just as you see yourself as a real person? Or is there usually a sexual agenda in you mind. where you objectify them?
I haven't approached women in a while as I have been scarred from years of rejection in my formative years.
 

Humanitarian

Well-known member
How do I get a progressed chart?
Step 1: Enter astro.com
Step 2: Click on the 3 bars symbol, then choose "Free Horoscopes" and click "All horoscopes at a glance" (additional step, if you don't enter "All horoscopes at a glance" that titled "All free horoscopes in Astrodienst" immdiately after you entered Astrodienst)
Step 3: Choose "Extended Chart Selection"
Step 4: Click on "Chart type", choose "Progressed chart"
Step 5: If not select your natal chart yet, click on the table on the right of the word "Horoscope for:" and then find the chart with your natal name in it (or your own pseudonym)
Step 6: If you want to select any other bodies, select other bodies and other settings that's available in the "Extended Chart Selection" section of Astrodienst
Step 7: Click on "Show the chart", then done!
Notes: Step 1, 3, 4 and 7 are crucial, and step 2, 5, 6 are additional steps
 
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