why am i loser?

reflektion

Well-known member
xxxxxxx

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ukdesifem

Well-known member
of the bat, there is no reason why you should be passive.

Jupiter is conjunct Saturn, and your Sun is conjunct your Asc. I don't believe in silver bullet placements. I have some so-called "good" placements such as Sun/Venus, Sun/Jupiter, but then the exact effects of these differ per person.

So a sense of duty, coupled with self, are strong in you.
 

Krewster

Well-known member
There's so little-to-nothing in your regular chart matching your mentioned behavior/experience...

so I recast at home to see more minor aspects and lo and behold you are a poster child for the undecile (no less than 10 undecile and semi-undecile aspects involving a personal planet ranging from 11 to 53 min orb; close to double the earlier-held record among my cast charts).

Sorry to say you won't find much help on the internet about the nature of the undecile ("need for adjustment" and similar unhelpful keywords). But they are not "bad" like 180's or 90's but, rather (at least in the case of my wife's Sun-Mars-Uran triangle of undeciles) irritatingly (or charmingly) vacillating in nature.

If "vacillating" doesn't work for you, perhaps it is because your web of undeciles connects, not Uran but, Sat and Nept with all the personals (except the Sun which is striking) and so perhaps keywords associated with those two heavy planets will be more helpful to you (among which your post suggests suffering perhaps from chronic indecisiveness...?).

Love to take this further if you're up to it...

(and, in the meantime, if you don't have astro software to display these aspects, you can confirm them by casting an 11th and a 22nd harmonic chart and seeing all those planets conjunct...
 
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rahu

Banned
hi reflecktion

you have venus square to pluto. for a woman this can be a difficult aspect as it brings harsh sexual advances toward you. the midpoint is conjunct your sun on the ascendant which could describe your sense of being a "loser" because these harsh emotional energies affect your personality and sense of self.
as you live in a moslem /patriarchal environment these aspects are more destructive because your social structure does not give women any way to express these social sexual powers. you are not treated as a person so much as you are treated as chattel.
you have a strong sexual aura but it is divorced from love, that is you are approached as a sexual object but never with love.

your passive aggressive tendencies are a function of the frustration you have emotionally. this is because your moon is conjunct chiron and square the nodal axis.this shows you are extremely intelligent but you have a very critical, but correct, view of life. within your social structure you have no power and so you can only display your critical insights by passive aggressive dynamic/ the moon/chiron would be your mentally aggressive side and the passive side would be a function of your Neptune square to Jupiter.

as to being a loser, I think it is because of the sexual emotional confusion that the pluto/venus square brings. you tend not to give with the emotional response that your social structure expects from a woman.

rahu
 

ashriia

Well-known member
would l become one day a strong woman or will i stay for always as a victim?

A natal chart shows potentials, it is not concrete. You have the choice to be a victim or not to be. it's entirely up to you, and within your power.

You do have a rather nice aspects, moon is well aspected.. but chiron is probably the issue with the melancholy feelings. The melancholy emotions can certainly be attributed to the conjunction of chiron with moon. Looking into a good book on healing chiron issues, could certainly be of help. There is alot of power that can come from recognizing chiron issues in yourself and working to change patterns and behaviors you typically employ. With moon, speaking up when something is really bothering you, or when you are upset is a good way to begin. Just honor what you feel, don't push it down.

Also since saturn is currently transiting the bottom half of your chart and is conjunct the ic.. alot of past issues can come up, it can kind of feel like a dark cloud on your psyche. But this is a time to work through past issues..since all of it might feel very at the surface right now. Memories associated with the father or wrongdoings from childhood are common to with this transit. Also dreams might be speaking to you in some way. It's a good time to recognize what you are feeling, and let go of those past issues, particularly from childhood. keeping some kind of journal to work it out might also help.

Additionally with Pluto transiting your 5th and your venus/pluto square. You might be getting over a relationship or in relationship where power dynamics come into play. Best thing to embrace with this transit is not trying to control your partner. Often from what i've witnessed there is a plutonian type relationship that comes as soon as pluto transits the cusp of the 5th.. that will change you, and definitely leave a mark. What better time than now to read up on the venus/pluto square.. since it will certainly be playing out in your romantic life at this time.

hope that helps, all the best:smile:
 

Tessie

Banned
I am curious about that, why am I always playing the role of loser or victim? Why am I passive aggressive and always melancholic? would l become one day a strong woman or will i stay for always as a victim?

Hi there,

You have preponderance of the earth and water elements in your chart. Earth is the 'melancholic' humor; water is the 'phlegmatic.' These humors can be tough on the emotions in the way which you describe. This is not as bad as it sounds, however. Some people are just gifted differently, with different purpose. Whatever the reason you are calling yourself a "looser" is either because you are trying or wanting to be something you are not or because you know you are doing less than you are capable of. Sometimes a season of passivity is just what the doctor ordered, either to rest or to learn from your mistakes. But remember it is a season.

There is plenty that you already are that is great. Mercury Virgo, for example, gives you superior intelligence or at least writing dexterity. It is my favourite aspect in all astrology, because of the benefits which matter, like the capacity to reason well. However, an analytical mind, such as yours, is focused on the world (i.e., earth element) and, in truth, the world can be a pretty **** place. You are a realist. It opens your eyes to negativity and drains your energy. But only those who can see and know the negativity are capable of fixing it. Your path is harder because you have a high calling. You are already a strong and powerful woman. You need to embrace it and grow in grace. You can't climb a mountain by looking at it and you can't get to the top of life by not living. ♥
 

reflektion

Well-known member
Hi there,

You have preponderance of the earth and water elements in your chart. Earth is the 'melancholic' humor; water is the 'phlegmatic.' These humors can be tough on the emotions in the way which you describe. This is not as bad as it sounds, however. Some people are just gifted differently, with different purpose. Whatever the reason you are calling yourself a "looser" is either because you are trying or wanting to be something you are not or because you know you are doing less than you are capable of. Sometimes a season of passivity is just what the doctor ordered, either to rest or to learn from your mistakes. But remember it is a season.

There is plenty that you already are that is great. Mercury Virgo, for example, gives you superior intelligence or at least writing dexterity. It is my favourite aspect in all astrology, because of the benefits which matter, like the capacity to reason well. However, an analytical mind, such as yours, is focused on the world (i.e., earth element) and, in truth, the world can be a pretty **** place. You are a realist. It opens your eyes to negativity and drains your energy. But only those who can see and know the negativity are capable of fixing it. Your path is harder because you have a high calling. You are already a strong and powerful woman. You need to embrace it and grow in grace. You can't climb a mountain by looking at it and you can't get to the top of life by not living. ♥
Thank you very much
 
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Noel Eastwood

Premium Member
I am curious about that, why am I always playing the role of loser or victim? Why am I passive aggressive and always melancholic? would l become one day a strong woman or will i stay for always as a victim?

Hi reflektion, I saw your query in the forum and I was curious, that sounded like a call for help. I have read the posted comments and you have come to the right place, these posters have helped a lot, some beautiful comments and advice for you.

I am going to add just a little that I can see. You are Virgo all over, a huge dominance of Earthy Virgo. Virgo is the sign of service, they just give and give. With such a strong dominance of Virgo you give and give way beyond you are capable of giving, and some people will just take and take until there is nothing left of you to take.

Your Sun is Applying towards your Ascendant from the 12th House, this is significant and can suggest a hidden Sun, hidden in your 12th House of the unconscious. This is also the major Luminary that signifies your reason for incarnating in this life time. There is some depression with this Sun placement as well.

As a Luminary I would begin by focusing on your Sun, its the Sun that can shift things in a positive way if given the right instructions.

Your other Luminary, Moon, is in Taurus, another Earth sign, its nicely placed in the dynamic and generous 9th House. Its opposition to Mars suggests some conflict with your mother or older women, it could also indicate that you were bullied particularly by females. This Luminary is another key to your happiness and can help you to better understand yourself and your emotions.

May I suggest that you do some meditation, and I have a feeling you can do this quite easily. In meditation go to your Sun and talk to him, ask him how he can help you be happy, what you can do to shift towards optimism, and also to find balance in your giving.

I wish you all the best in your endeavour to discover yourself. Your chart shows that you have enormous potential, more than most people I know, you will find this one day. Please feel free to PM or ask here if what I said is unclear.
 
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Krewster

Well-known member
Since you confirm indecisiveness, perhaps you'd like a look at your chart displaying mostly only the undeciles and semi-undeciles (plus a couple of other irrelevant aspects).

You can see their tight orbs from the aspect text listing on the upper left side (and just pay attention to the two shades of lighter blue - being the undeciles and semi-undeciles).

I find focusing first on only the aspects tighter than say 20 min orb helps.
 

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kshantaram

Premium Member
moon lord 11th for gains over elevated taurus 9th bold and beautiful, creative-energetic,
love of food and comforts,
aptitude for hotel management, dairying, food processing, psychology-education, etc.


mars own scorpio 2nd occult-research aptitude, secretive-sentimental,
moon-mars opp volatile emotions, finances,
moon debilated aspect over scorpio 3rd impacting communications/secretive, sibling relationships.
sat aspecting mars scorpio 2nd impacting family-finances-health, urological issues-throat etc.


separative node ketu acq 6th mystic, reformist, innovative, accident prone, aggressive with opponents,
prone to pain-injury-surgery intestine, lower legs, sciatica, etc, prone to job separations.

rahu leo 12th tending to foreign lands, high self-pride, individualistic, sudden decision making.


venus lord 9th for luck over 11th gains
through arts, elderly women, beauty products, electronics, etc


virgo asc intellectual-critical, perfectionist attitude. sun-mer-jup-sat stellium detached attitude,
ill health, stress-struggle, self-critical. virgo sacrificing nature, mother earth.


pisces-jup inimical for virgo asc stress-delays in relationship-marriage,
inimical jup over virgo asc impacting health,
sat lord 6th over asc again impacting health,
sun lord 12th over asc impacting health and tending to distant lands.
jup debilated aspect over cap 5th impacting education-romance-children-position.


sat lord 9th from moon late settlement at 36+, sat asc stress-struggle.


sun-mer-jup-sat virgo may be mathematical-statistical aptitudes.
mer own virgo asc growth-riches through intellectual pursuits,

but under stress struggle inimical jup over virgo asc alongwith saturn lord 6th, etc
sun asc impressive personality,
while may not be good for health especially during infancy, intestinal issues etc.
sun lord 12th over asc medical expenses probably,
while may tend to foreign lands. moon 9th foreign travels probably.



past 2.5yrs sat transit scorpio opp moon, under stress till end july,
impacting initiative, communications, luck, health-urological issues, throat-thyroid, etc.


rahu-ketu nodes transit libra-aries 2/8 axis sudden issues till late 015.



mid-Aug inimical jup moves to virgo stellium over natal jup, health under stress,
impacting intestine, liver, etc.
jup transit sat employment prospects.


late 015 rahu moves to virgo. jup-rahu virgo clouding judgment to care, rise-fall.

ketu then transit inimical pisces 7th impacting relationship, abdominal pains, etc.



come Aug sat direct coming 2 yrs over optimistic philosophical sag
better for initiative, feeling better perhaps.
sat aspect own acq 6th protective of employment matters.
sat aspecting virgo asc health under stress.


hope generic observations help reflect, take stock, pick as relevant.
could care to share specific feedbacks in confirmity, agreement-disagreements.

wishing well,


kshantaram


to recap,

inimical jup now transit virgo stellium over asc health under stress year ahead, jup-rahu prone to rise-fall,
jup debilated aspect over cap 5th dampening education-romance-children-position/status,
sat transit sag 3rd good for initiative and general progress, while aspects 9th slowdown in luck etc
ketu transit inimical pisces 7th prone to abdominal pains, indifferent towards relationship, etc

jup virgo aspect own pisces 7th protective however, jup trine moon taurus 9th promoting luck, distant travels, etc

hope this revisit helps, chart removed, feedbacks removed, strange!
 
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kshantaram

Premium Member
virgo asc intellectual-critical, perfectionist attitude.
sun-mer-jup-sat stellium detached attitude, ill health, stress-struggle, self-critical.
virgo sacrificing nature, mother earth.

pisces-jup inimical for virgo asc stress-delays in relationship-marriage,
inimical jup over virgo asc impacting health,
sat lord 6th over asc again impacting health,
sun lord 12th over asc impacting health and tending to distant lands.

jup virgo debilated aspect over cap 5th impacting education-romance-children-position.


currently mid-March sat retro towards scorpio opp moon, under stress till end july,
impacting initiative, communications, luck, health-urological issues, throat-thyroid, etc.


rahu-ketu nodes transit libra-aries 2/8 axis sudden issues till late 015.


mid-Aug inimical Jup moves to virgo stellium over natal jup, health under stress,
impacting intestine, liver, etc. jup over sat employment prospects.


late 015 rahu moves to virgo. jup-rahu virgo clouding judgment to care, tending to rise-fall.

and ketu transit inimical pisces 7th impacting relationship, abdominal pains, etc.


come Aug sat direct coming 2 yrs optimistic philosophical sag better for initiative, feeling better perhaps.
sat aspect own acq 6th protective of employment matters. sat yet aspecting virgo asc health under stress.

wishing well,


kshantaram


hope the transits indicative of upcoming trends to care.

appreciate the range of prompt feedbacks!
 
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ashriia

Well-known member
1993 transit saturn was in 6, than was 29 degree and i have had traffic accidents, was in coma.

Hello Reflektion:smile:

I hope it does not seem in bad taste, but I pulled up your chart to see the transits that were taking place in 1993. The closest I got to saturn 29 degrees was 28 degrees in July. What was the date of your accident, if you don't mind my asking? Such things are interesting to me astrologically, and good for research.

I am sorry to hear about your accident/coma though, of course.
 

StillOne

Well-known member
Hi Reflektion :joyful:

Your story is a dramatic one and your writing voice reveals much. I'm glad the community has given you a lot of things to think about and reflekt on :smile:

I haven't read what everyone has said just yet, but figured I'd mention what I see when I look at your chart. Something that others have also mentioned is the intense Virgo dominance in your chart. I've read (and feel that I've witnessed) that Virgo can have a very challenging incarnation (along with Pisces). Virgo can desire to be very high achieving (perfectionistic on some levels) and when life can't support this view, of course things become challenging.

With your strong Virgo intellect, you seek a world that makes sense but find the world irrational in many ways. Jupiter and the Ascendant intensify this, but, and this is probably the most important part, the square from Neptune is what has caused these more challenging lessons on your Virgo energy. One that is designed to possibly impose those Neptunian lessons on your evolutionary path rather quickly and intensely. It's an advanced position, I think, that involves ascension. In my opinion this theory is supported by you having your North Node in the 12th house which I feel is associated with aligning with a spiritual journey in this lifetime.

That being said, what is the solution? That, my friend, may just be the concept of that North Node in the 12th house and finding your ultimate direction in life.

Do take care and know that you're loved (as evidenced by the replies here in this forum!) :sideways:
 
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reflektion

Well-known member
Hi Reflektion :joyful:

Your story is a dramatic one and your writing voice reveals much. I'm glad the community has given you a lot of things to think about and reflekt on :smile:

I haven't read what everyone has said just yet, but figured I'd mention what I see when I look at your chart. Something that others have also mentioned is the intense Virgo dominance in your chart. I've read (and feel that I've witnessed) that Virgo can have a very challenging incarnation (along with Pisces). Virgo can desire to be very high achieving (perfectionistic on some levels) and when life can't support this view, of course things become challenging.

With your strong Virgo intellect, you seek a world that makes sense but find the world irrational in many ways. Jupiter and the Ascendant intensify this, but, and this is probably the most important part, the square from Neptune is what has caused these more challenging lessons on your Virgo energy. One that is designed to possibly impose those Neptunian lessons on your evolutionary path rather quickly and intensely. It's an advanced position, I think, that involves ascension. In my opinion this theory is supported by you having your North Node in the 12th house which I feel is associated with aligning with a spiritual journey in this lifetime.

That being said, what is the solution? That, my friend, may just be the concept of that North Node in the 12th house and finding your ultimate direction in life.

Do take care and know that you're loved (as evidenced by the replies here in this forum!) :sideways:

Thank you :)neptune in the 4th and node in the 12th. I call my self too as a neptunian..love
 
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