Where can I find confidence?

marielle

Member
Hello,

As a 19 year old Geminian girl I feel like I should be the life of the party. However, I am very insecure, and my way of 'social survival' is to change my personality to what I think the person/social setting requires of me. I do feel like I have all the tools to be a social butterfly and a great communicator, but the lack of confidence stops me. It makes me feel like I don't live up to my potential. It's the same when it comes to love; I haven't had many experiences yet, but I feel like I'm supposed to be someone with lots of romance in my life (not because of outer pressure or expectation, but because I feel like it is my inner nature). Is this in my chart? How can I get more confidence, and less changeable? I want to grow as a person and I feel like I am listening too much to other people's expectations of me, instead of my inner desires.

Thank you in advance to anyone helping!
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sibylline

Well-known member
First, you are still young. Confidence and a better understanding of yourself will come with time.

Your Cancer Rising with ruler Moon conjunct Pluto and Venus in the 12th hse says you may have a more private, introverted, and deeper side that contrasts with your Gemini Sun in 11th hse drive to be a social butterfly and be with the group. You may vacillate between wanting to be out there and feeling uncomfortable with all of that spotlight. Your Moon and Neptune/Jupter influencing the 7th shows you may idealize others and put faith in them.

And hello fellow Saggy Moon in the 5th! Yes, we have a (maybe exaggerated) need for romance and feel unfulfilled without it. This Moon may also be the key to finding your confidence. 5th house Moons are instinctively creative and have a particular sparkle to their personality that can be compelling to others. Many performers have this placement. With this 5th-11th tension ask yourself - What can you offer the group? Maybe wisdom, insight (Moon/Pluto in Sag)? Or perhaps you can become more confident by being the person your friends can rely on for practical advice (Mercury/Mars in Taurus in 11th trine Jupiter in Capricorn/Descendant)? Stability may come from taking charge of your own life path and being more responsible and practical instead of relying on others. As you grow older you'll find your particular gifts.
 

Kitchy

Banned
Hello -

Confidence is found in the Sun and it's aspects. Nothing much douses the Sun other than a cold winter with grey sky and no warmth. Avoid those anti-sun places in your chart.
Your sun opposes Pluto and Neptune in the 5th from 11th and close to 12th it looks like.

Sun in the 11th without confidence of the fighting irish fool is not sun in 11th in my opinion - so unless there are other expectarian ideas of those who say 11th is debiltated and Saturn is lurking - I would say - maybe.

Sun in the 11th is the end all of all battles to be fought by Mars. If sun doesnt support mars or vice versa - well- then you have to look at moon and venus intuit and diplomacy. Or then you get the 12th house defeat and retreat.

Saturn makes folks fear things - think they're inadequate in the quarters of the chart - but but saturn never lacks confidence in himself - only in others - not easily swayed but sometimes outnumbered by the venus moon pluto.

Or Jupiter, for let me show you what an @ss you are.

Confidence is not your issue - is it lost in some neo-mod mix of saturn in 12th or moon saturn ruler of 12th somehow?

Look at your 2nd house and those gangsters who are the ultimate confident because no one shakes their shite.

Sun in 11th is one of the least likely confident placements in the chart. Saturn is original ruler of Aquarius - given 11th in modern. The public good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST86JM1RPl0
 

marielle

Member
First, you are still young. Confidence and a better understanding of yourself will come with time.

Your Cancer Rising with ruler Moon conjunct Pluto and Venus in the 12th hse says you may have a more private, introverted, and deeper side that contrasts with your Gemini Sun in 11th hse drive to be a social butterfly and be with the group. You may vacillate between wanting to be out there and feeling uncomfortable with all of that spotlight. Your Moon and Neptune/Jupter influencing the 7th shows you may idealize others and put faith in them.

And hello fellow Saggy Moon in the 5th! Yes, we have a (maybe exaggerated) need for romance and feel unfulfilled without it. This Moon may also be the key to finding your confidence. 5th house Moons are instinctively creative and have a particular sparkle to their personality that can be compelling to others. Many performers have this placement. With this 5th-11th tension ask yourself - What can you offer the group? Maybe wisdom, insight (Moon/Pluto in Sag)? Or perhaps you can become more confident by being the person your friends can rely on for practical advice (Mercury/Mars in Taurus in 11th trine Jupiter in Capricorn/Descendant)? Stability may come from taking charge of your own life path and being more responsible and practical instead of relying on others. As you grow older you'll find your particular gifts.

Yes, I definitely recognize that inner dilemma between needing to be alone and also wanting to go outside. I always need a day of being by myself whenever I go out with friends etc., otherwise I'd collapse after a week.
A few years ago, I went on exchange and I was in the spotlight all the time because I was a foreigner. I was very positively received there, and it gave me a lot of confidence because people were constantly giving attention to me; I never felt uncomfortable being in the spotlight. Back home, however, I seem to lack the strength to build myself up, instead of relying on others to hold myself in high esteem.

I can 100% relate to what you said about maybe being too much of a romantic! I've always enjoyed being creative, but lately I feel like I should develop more discipline to express myself creatively in better ways.
What you said about having a practical side to me, I've yet to find that side of myself, even though I also have quite a few earth signs in my chart. I am not practical at all yet! But like you said, I'm still young so I'm sure many things will change and grow! Thank you very much.
 

marielle

Member
Hello -

Confidence is found in the Sun and it's aspects. Nothing much douses the Sun other than a cold winter with grey sky and no warmth. Avoid those anti-sun places in your chart.
Your sun opposes Pluto and Neptune in the 5th from 11th and close to 12th it looks like.

Sun in the 11th without confidence of the fighting irish fool is not sun in 11th in my opinion - so unless there are other expectarian ideas of those who say 11th is debiltated and Saturn is lurking - I would say - maybe.

Sun in the 11th is the end all of all battles to be fought by Mars. If sun doesnt support mars or vice versa - well- then you have to look at moon and venus intuit and diplomacy. Or then you get the 12th house defeat and retreat.

Saturn makes folks fear things - think they're inadequate in the quarters of the chart - but but saturn never lacks confidence in himself - only in others - not easily swayed but sometimes outnumbered by the venus moon pluto.

Or Jupiter, for let me show you what an @ss you are.

Confidence is not your issue - is it lost in some neo-mod mix of saturn in 12th or moon saturn ruler of 12th somehow?

Look at your 2nd house and those gangsters who are the ultimate confident because no one shakes their shite.

Sun in 11th is one of the least likely confident placements in the chart. Saturn is original ruler of Aquarius - given 11th in modern. The public good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST86JM1RPl0

I feel a bit stupid, it's probably because I'm still very new to astrology, but I don't really understand your language, or what you're trying to say with these aspects. Could you maybe elaborate so a noob like me can understand?
 

Kitchy

Banned
I feel a bit stupid, it's probably because I'm still very new to astrology, but I don't really understand your language, or what you're trying to say with these aspects. Could you maybe elaborate so a noob like me can understand?

Don't feel stupid. Get to the grit. Confidence is Sun Saturn or intermediaries for good or bad.

Read up on Sun Saturn in or tangled rulerships.

What I'm saying is that Sun in 11th never lacks confidence. They really don't care what they have to lose.

Dig deeper or don't ask unless you're willing to get it - one way or other. Sun in 11th - never lacks confidence. They already know and understand what they are up against - like Kings against the people.

Your Sun-Saturn relations, even by proxy or light or face, will lend back lit confidence or something like that.

But never ever ever , doubt your confidence.
 

marielle

Member
Don't feel stupid. Get to the grit. Confidence is Sun Saturn or intermediaries for good or bad.

Read up on Sun Saturn in or tangled rulerships.

What I'm saying is that Sun in 11th never lacks confidence. They really don't care what they have to lose.

Dig deeper or don't ask unless you're willing to get it - one way or other. Sun in 11th - never lacks confidence. They already know and understand what they are up against - like Kings against the people.

Your Sun-Saturn relations, even by proxy or light or face, will lend back lit confidence or something like that.

But never ever ever , doubt your confidence.

Alright, I get what you're saying. I'm going to think on this and I'll read up on Sun Saturn. Thank you!!
 
Interesting. Cancer is your chart ruler (moon in sag conj pluto), and you're Sun is in the 11th. I'd say that's a combo for being swayed by others. Your 5th is illuminated by the moon, interesting that you said you "feel" like you should be having many romances. You will. That Pluto conjunct Moon, there may be partners from past lives and strong intuitive pulls towards certain people. Neptune in the 7th...beware of picking a lame partner, not lame as in "that's lame" but as is someone who may be deceptive or into substance abuse. You may find yourself in positions of being the "helper" or helping a partner. Also be careful of future business ventures. I'd say your Sun/Saturn square makes for a bit more caution, maybe less confidence which tempers with age. And the fact that your mercury is in earthy Taurus conjunct an earthy mars, it wants to fly but also likes to take it's time. You are caught in many directions at once. BTW, do you do a sport or have you ever thought of getting into some type of athletic activity? You may do very well.

Also, be careful of any leg/thigh/joint/bone issues.

With time and maturation you may definitely find yourself in the midst of romances and passion. Keep your eyes open and your feet on the ground, but do let your heart fly.
 

marielle

Member
Interesting. Cancer is your chart ruler (moon in sag conj pluto), and you're Sun is in the 11th. I'd say that's a combo for being swayed by others. Your 5th is illuminated by the moon, interesting that you said you "feel" like you should be having many romances. You will. That Pluto conjunct Moon, there may be partners from past lives and strong intuitive pulls towards certain people. Neptune in the 7th...beware of picking a lame partner, not lame as in "that's lame" but as is someone who may be deceptive or into substance abuse. You may find yourself in positions of being the "helper" or helping a partner. Also be careful of future business ventures. I'd say your Sun/Saturn square makes for a bit more caution, maybe less confidence which tempers with age. And the fact that your mercury is in earthy Taurus conjunct an earthy mars, it wants to fly but also likes to take it's time. You are caught in many directions at once. BTW, do you do a sport or have you ever thought of getting into some type of athletic activity? You may do very well.

Also, be careful of any leg/thigh/joint/bone issues.

With time and maturation you may definitely find yourself in the midst of romances and passion. Keep your eyes open and your feet on the ground, but do let your heart fly.

Thank you so much this was fascinating! The times I was into pilates and running I've always enjoyed it so I should probably pursue it again :)
 
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