midnight sun
Well-known member
I'm jobless, I never worked, I'm living with my family. I don't have boyfriend since 2007. My close friend ended our friendship. I'm feeling very hopeless.
I have mood disorder but I was good, hopeful and social till this automn. I am also getting therapies for my relationships.
But my mood changed suddenly. I'm doing phd and waiting for academic job. There is a hope to be accepted but there is also a problem which I don't predict before. In the campus, there are dogs living gregarious and my dog phobia (which I thought I overcome in the past) suddenly rises very much. I'm thinking that if I work there, I'll always be unsecure and uncomfortable. But there is no other choice.
It can seem to you nonsense but I have anxiety disorder and when this dilemma came up, my other anxieties and feelings of unsecurity and loneliness came, too. So now I'm in a deep depression. I'm feeling I don't have any support, and I'm feeling it very painfully. I also wonder if there will be any help or support coming to me in the future?
I'm tired of living the same things over and over. Especially in love and friendships. There is no information on how to heal the cycles. I don't know what to do. Also, I know my Saturn return came but I was living this crisis in different ways in the past, too. I don't think it's special to the Return.
I have mood disorder but I was good, hopeful and social till this automn. I am also getting therapies for my relationships.
But my mood changed suddenly. I'm doing phd and waiting for academic job. There is a hope to be accepted but there is also a problem which I don't predict before. In the campus, there are dogs living gregarious and my dog phobia (which I thought I overcome in the past) suddenly rises very much. I'm thinking that if I work there, I'll always be unsecure and uncomfortable. But there is no other choice.
It can seem to you nonsense but I have anxiety disorder and when this dilemma came up, my other anxieties and feelings of unsecurity and loneliness came, too. So now I'm in a deep depression. I'm feeling I don't have any support, and I'm feeling it very painfully. I also wonder if there will be any help or support coming to me in the future?
I'm tired of living the same things over and over. Especially in love and friendships. There is no information on how to heal the cycles. I don't know what to do. Also, I know my Saturn return came but I was living this crisis in different ways in the past, too. I don't think it's special to the Return.