What's up with my husband?

kai

Well-known member
Hi all. I wanted to get some help regarding soon to be ex-husband's natal chart because there are some issues with his personality that I really need to figure out what it is. During our very short marriage, I encountered control, walked on eggshells, got verbally abused and hit and I constantly felt on the edge by watching what I say and tried not to complain as my husband would not like that and there were times that he would explode...it's like he has a short fuse. I got yelled out so badly a few times in the public that I never felt so embarrassed in my life in the public. I felt like a 5 year old getting yelled at on the street.

Also, I started looking into personality disorders and I am pretty sure he has one but can't diagnose him since it's just my assumption based on his behavior. I constantly felt on the edge. A raging narcissistic trait seems to fit him well that comes and goes. He was also very manipulative to get me do stuff or not to go places with a friend because he was often very jealous. He also has very selfish traits sometimes up to the point that our short-lived marriage fell apart due to his refusal not to have any children because he wants to live for himself and told me that in case of a divorce, he doesn't want to be paying child support and just wants to enjoy the last 10 years of his life although he's only 44 LOL.

I've noticed that eventually, he doesn't get along with the women in his life and there are some friends whom he doesn't talk to anymore if he's constantly in contact with that person. What I mean is that if it's just a friend whom he sees once in a while then all is great but the ones he's super close to and in touch with every day, he would eventually get into arguments with them. He also doesn't talk to his brother and two sisters. Having said this, he does have some positive traits too but these negative traits totally overshadowed the positive ones for me over time. Can someone please explain his chart to me to give me an idea of those negative and positive (if u see any) traits? I'd love to learn about his major placements please...like his Sun has no aspects, so is this bad or good? What does his Saturn in 2nd house mean for him? Please feel free to add more. Thanks
 

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MarmaladeW

Active member
I'm no expert but the planets symbolizing women (moon and venus) are weak. Moon in the 10th house is uncomfortable and venus is weak in aries so these might lead to struggles and misunderstandings with women. There is a tendency to be oppressive and aggressive (all by aries) with these planets and issues connected or ruled by them or emphasize grand expectations that are never met by them.

Mercury the sign of the mind/mental state, thinking, communication and siblings which rule his sensitive IC and 4th house of emotions and family squares oppressive saturn ruling his 7th house of partnerships + 'other people' and chaotic uranus leading to instability, chaoric or sudden changes and restrictiveness.

Above all I think a synastry or composite chart would definitely reveal more on your marital relationship and how you cominicate and work together.
 
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kai

Well-known member
I'm no expert but the planets symbolizing women (moon and venus) are weak. Moon in the 10th house is uncomfortable and venus is weak in aries so these might lead to struggles and misunderstandings with women. There is a tendency to be oppressive and aggressive (all by aries) with these planets and issues connected or ruled by them or emphasize grand expectations that are never met by them.

Mercury the sign of the mind/mental state, thinking, communication and siblings which rule his sensitive IC and 4th house of emotions and family squares oppressive saturn ruling his 7th house of partnerships + 'other people' and chaotic uranus leading to instability, chaoric or sudden changes and restrictiveness.

Above all I think a synastry or composite chart would definitely reveal more on your marital relationship and how you cominicate and work together.

Thank you very much for your analysis! You basically described and confirmed his issues for me :)))
 

waybread

Well-known member
Kai, I am sorry that you are going through such a difficult time.

One thing that struck me about your husband's chart is that his sun makes to major aspects. The one 2nd-tier aspect that it makes is a sesqui-square to Pluto.

Aspects between planets help to socialize us. A planet aspecting the sun is like a friend (or enemy) whose interactions with us help us to define our self-image. Conversely an unaspected planet is a loner or wild child who becomes a law unto himself. There's no other planetary influence to moderate its behavior.

A sesqui-square is a stressful aspect, and a stressed Pluto can be the ruthless bully.

Pluto makes a stressful opposition to the "girl" planets moon and Venus, with Mars in the mix giving it a potentially aggressive or even violent edge. I can't say that your husband hates women. He probably has an idealistic view of women, with the trine from Neptune. It's more like women generate a lot of undigested aggressive feelings within himself.

Your husband has very little of the air element in his chart, so he doesn't have much of a tool kit for figuring out his motives and behavior.

This may sound odd, but I don't think your husband has a clear sense of who he is.

Saturn in the 2nd house square Uranus and square Mercury-Chiron would suggest money problems-- easy come and easy go. Money is probably a source of anxiety.

Do you know if he had a difficult childhood home life?

For your own safety, Kai, it seems that getting out of the marriage is a good idea. Is he on-side with this?

Best wishes for the next chapter in your life.
 
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kai

Well-known member
Kai, I am sorry that you are going through such a difficult time.

One thing that struck me about your husband's chart is that his sun makes to major aspects. The one 2nd-tier aspect that it makes is a sesqui-square to Pluto.

Aspects between planets help to socialize us. A planet aspecting the sun is like a friend (or enemy) whose interactions with us help us to define our self-image. Conversely an unaspected planet is a loner or wild child who becomes a law unto himself. There's no other planetary influence to moderate its behavior.

A sesqui-square is a stressful aspect, and a stressed Pluto can be the ruthless bully.

Pluto makes a stressful opposition to the "girl" planets moon and Venus, with Mars in the mix giving it a potentially aggressive or even violent edge. I can't say that your husband hates women. He probably has an idealistic view of women, with the trine from Neptune. It's more like women generate a lot of undigested aggressive feelings within himself.

Your husband has very little of the air element in his chart, so he doesn't have much of a tool kit for figuring out his motives and behavior.

This may sound odd, but I don't think your husband has a clear sense of who he is.

Saturn in the 2nd house square Uranus and square Mercury-Chiron would suggest money problems-- easy come and easy go. Money is probably a source of anxiety.

Do you know if he had a difficult childhood home life?

For your own safety, Kai, it seems that getting out of the marriage is a good idea. Is he on-side with this?

Best wishes for the next chapter in your life.

Waybread....it's always great to read your analysis of my horaries and these type of charts, so thanks so much for investing time to help me understand his chart more.

You are so spot on...first of all let me answer your question about "difficult childhood/upbringing"...he has told me how abusive his dad was and how they all would freeze once hid dad would come from work. He told me lots of stories of how he had a tough childhood and how his dad kept making him work, he had no childhood, he was always scared of his dad, and even has a bruise on his head from some type of metal that his dad threw at him when he was a kid. His dad was like a despot at home, so husband said that he loved his mom more and that when his dad passed away, even though he was around 28, he didn't suffer inside over it. May I ask for my own educational reason why you specifically asked this question based on his chart? Which aspects made you feel that he might have a difficult upbringing? I felt that his anger and sudden outbursts come from his upbringing. He even told me that if he has a kid, he's going to end up in jail due to his strictness....I supposed what he saw is what he has learned no matter how bad that behavior was for him. We have no kid together so all is good.

I did notice his unaspected Sun and wondered if it was bad or good. You didn't mention how his Sun is in fall in Taurus right? I'm assuming his Sun's position in tauraus isn't strong besides having no major aspect?

You are also right about his Saturn in 2nd because his life seem to revolve around money....that's what he only thinks and cars about. Once he saw that i was reading a book and told me why in the world would i read a book if it isn't giving me money...as in that action of mine isn't generating me money LOL. It seems that he had less of it in life so he's too concentrated on it and all he wants in life is to make good money that's hard to come by at least for now that he's turning 45. H lived overseas where salaries are not much so perhaps in the US he might make the amount he feels comfortable and happy about.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Thanks for the feedback, Kai.

1. On the difficult upbringing, the 4th house shows one's early childhood conditioning. Pluto opposite Mars-Venus, and house cusp ruler Mercury opposite Uranus and square Saturn are all difficult aspects. Pluto opposite Mars can stimulate violent (Mars) urges to control (Pluto) women in his life (Venus-moon.)

Mars (aggression) is especially strong in the sign of its domicile (Aries) and in the angular 10th house.

But your husband's north node (of the moon) of personal growth is also in the 4th house. Do you think he would ever put himself into counseling? It seems like he was traumatized as a kid and is re-enacting his dad's behaviors because that is the pattern he knows. It would be good if he could seek therapy.

2. The sun is in detriment in Aquarius and falls in Libra. But-- one thing I just noticed (!) is that your husband's Taurus sun is in an intercepted sign. Intercepted planets have difficulty expressing their potential-- it's like they're boxed in. Many of us have planets in intercepted signs, but because the sun gives one's identity and sense of self, it can be hard for your husband to develop the positive attributes of a Taurus sun (normally dependable, steady, practical, sensuous.)
 
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