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what am I up against? how long?
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<blockquote data-quote="Suze" data-source="post: 657487" data-attributes="member: 17377"><p>Hello Thankyou very much for your replies, it is comforting and I really appreciate it. It was great Sweet Pea could reply (that was what friend request was about) as you'd worked on it previously, was comforting that you hadn't missed anything (didn't think you would've but hopefully you know what I mean given this new health matter happening).</p><p></p><p>Makes me feel better others experience is similar & it's not just me given a bad trot. About 12mths ago was when Dad passed so you're right astrology02.</p><p></p><p>Don't recall anything family significant happening 2011, having great difficulty stressed out with uni then as I was 20yrs older than others, having to put up with abuse from sister & family that I was focussing on that instead of them - ridiculous since first time in life put self first.</p><p></p><p>Due to the abuse/neglect from parents, had to support myself financially which has been extremely difficult. Due to this have to live with sister - dominant & abusive. Living under dictatorship from her. If she didn't exist would ease off caring duties to have more time to myself - can't do this as there's the 2 of us in the family. Realise it's a learning & growing experience eg recently after taking mum to medical appmt been with her 3 hrs or so, she expects me to stay longer I said no & walked out (before current medical problem) difficult but necessary for myself/wellbeing. Sister (8 March 69, Echuca) goes overboard in what she does, raises the bar of expectation on me.</p><p></p><p>Went to spiritualist church, my spirit guides were crying out I must do things for myself, look after myself giving everything I've got to it, my spirit is tired - no choice due to sister. My saviour is when she's at work, unfortunately her job will likely end around April, the last thing I need.</p><p></p><p>Psychics have said I could be psychologist & so have others, life has been one challenge after the next. Do not want to do that, studied enough (marketing & mgmt degree 2008-12) feel I've helped others enough, whole life. Psychics also suggested I write book to help others, I'd be more likely to do that. Writing & public speaking come naturally to me. </p><p></p><p>Yes, I'm a spiritual person, been told could be a psychic, don't feel that at all but I did once see Dad's spirit soon after, think he was meaning I'm ok & here, felt him once or twice so far. Tried to talk to him myself, didn't work, too soon don't feel have that ability anyway. Seeing psychics is comforting but am aware some of what they say is filling in time, they can read people due to seeing them all day etc. Tried for yrs including groups to do meditation, don't feel I'm doing it properly just closing eyes breathing but still try but occassionally get bit of extra 6th sense, think due to that. </p><p></p><p>Does my 12house have anything related to Marketing? Been PA before, got mistreated common in that profession no good for me but was suited to it. Never again. Any other ideas what I could do down the track?</p><p></p><p>My whole life has been challenge after challenge, all out of my control. If my life purpose is to help others, how can I do that if the challenges never end? Surely at some point I have some semblence of a more normal life. Counsellors etc have never seen a more difficult life than mine & said others wouldn't've made it this far.</p><p></p><p>Sister just rang, said mum has deteriorated seriously worried got to go back to the hospital now. Another big worry is if when she passes hope not now what do to with family home? Don't know if should stay there (regional town)or return to city. Also really wish knew how long I've got left to live myself & if health likely get better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Suze, post: 657487, member: 17377"] Hello Thankyou very much for your replies, it is comforting and I really appreciate it. It was great Sweet Pea could reply (that was what friend request was about) as you'd worked on it previously, was comforting that you hadn't missed anything (didn't think you would've but hopefully you know what I mean given this new health matter happening). Makes me feel better others experience is similar & it's not just me given a bad trot. About 12mths ago was when Dad passed so you're right astrology02. Don't recall anything family significant happening 2011, having great difficulty stressed out with uni then as I was 20yrs older than others, having to put up with abuse from sister & family that I was focussing on that instead of them - ridiculous since first time in life put self first. Due to the abuse/neglect from parents, had to support myself financially which has been extremely difficult. Due to this have to live with sister - dominant & abusive. Living under dictatorship from her. If she didn't exist would ease off caring duties to have more time to myself - can't do this as there's the 2 of us in the family. Realise it's a learning & growing experience eg recently after taking mum to medical appmt been with her 3 hrs or so, she expects me to stay longer I said no & walked out (before current medical problem) difficult but necessary for myself/wellbeing. Sister (8 March 69, Echuca) goes overboard in what she does, raises the bar of expectation on me. Went to spiritualist church, my spirit guides were crying out I must do things for myself, look after myself giving everything I've got to it, my spirit is tired - no choice due to sister. My saviour is when she's at work, unfortunately her job will likely end around April, the last thing I need. Psychics have said I could be psychologist & so have others, life has been one challenge after the next. Do not want to do that, studied enough (marketing & mgmt degree 2008-12) feel I've helped others enough, whole life. Psychics also suggested I write book to help others, I'd be more likely to do that. Writing & public speaking come naturally to me. Yes, I'm a spiritual person, been told could be a psychic, don't feel that at all but I did once see Dad's spirit soon after, think he was meaning I'm ok & here, felt him once or twice so far. Tried to talk to him myself, didn't work, too soon don't feel have that ability anyway. Seeing psychics is comforting but am aware some of what they say is filling in time, they can read people due to seeing them all day etc. Tried for yrs including groups to do meditation, don't feel I'm doing it properly just closing eyes breathing but still try but occassionally get bit of extra 6th sense, think due to that. Does my 12house have anything related to Marketing? Been PA before, got mistreated common in that profession no good for me but was suited to it. Never again. Any other ideas what I could do down the track? My whole life has been challenge after challenge, all out of my control. If my life purpose is to help others, how can I do that if the challenges never end? Surely at some point I have some semblence of a more normal life. Counsellors etc have never seen a more difficult life than mine & said others wouldn't've made it this far. Sister just rang, said mum has deteriorated seriously worried got to go back to the hospital now. Another big worry is if when she passes hope not now what do to with family home? Don't know if should stay there (regional town)or return to city. Also really wish knew how long I've got left to live myself & if health likely get better. [/QUOTE]
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