nuthatch
Well-known member
I've been told my notion of Chiron is radical. I don't think it is.
In order for Chiron to heal others, I believe the wound in oneself' has to remain open. It is the impetus for healing, intimate knowledge of the pain.
Like a scab on heal, Chiron gets rubbed and re-opens with the other wounded. The pain resurfaces, the treatment and care is undertaken to re-heal it, and then it is rubbed again. It's a cycle.
I don't believe Chiron is a holy remedy in a chart. It is an ongoing point of suffering, which, until one completely closes the wound, covers it up with protective coatings, will continue to cause pain and suffering.
I believe, and from experience, know, that when I let my need to heal others assume precidence over my own wound, I will feel the hurt once more. I have come to the conclusion that it's best left to somebody else.
(Chiron conj. SNode Pisces in 8th)
I like this view of it. It reminds me of Pema Chödrön's definition of the Buddhist concept of bodhichitta, which she compares to the rawness of a broken heart that allows us to feel compassion for others in our situation and even others not in our situation. If we cease to feel that pain, that primal anguish so deep it feels physical (and sometimes is), we no longer have that common ground with others. And it's just part of being human, I think: having some irreparable brokenness that we can't quite control or even name, however in control we may feel of everything else.
My Chiron is in Gemini. For me, it's related to the pain of being (or feeling) unable to express myself, that what I communicate of myself is not what others perceive of me. I actually study communication in school now, and one of my focuses is on factors that inhibit the feeling that communication is possible in a given context--whether it's ideological conflicts or learning differences or social disadvantages. Frustrated communication and the anger and helplessness that can come with it is, somehow, going to be my life's work.
I also find it interesting that my father's Sun is in Gemini, and I've had a very difficult relationship with him my entire life. We spoke easily about intellectual topics, but we had a lot of emotional problems, and that's a major source of pain and doubt and fear for me.
But as much as I often feel inarticulate or powerless or ignored, I've come to feel that I don't ever want this wound to go away.