Venus/Pluto in Synastry and Composite?

desperateneptune

Well-known member
lol i am the scorpio here with venus conj pluto nataly but i was the one to suffer the abuse...i have been acting like the happy cinderela all my life until this person showed up and forsed me to "own" my pluto and not give it away so in a twisted sence i owe him a favour!!!!
 

Munch

Well-known member
Pluto/Mars/Saturn...be prepared to bring out the whips and crops. This is heavy and can bring out some sadistic streaks.......but if the overall synastry is loving it could just point to some extremely kinky/domineering stuff.
 

CosmicBlyss

Active member
as regards these venusian/plutonian relations, i can remember something that robert blaschke, (still with us in spirit) told me:

"Intensity is no equal to intimacy."

Intimacy takes trust and truth and mutual reciprocation. My experience with this man, his pluto opp. my venus lacked all three of these elements.

The depths that this relationship has taken me are staggering. I suppose at some point, perhaps I am already beginning to, I will realize that it did take me deep into my own desires, which revealed an uncomfortable darkness that needed to be exposed and cleansed. That's pluto working.

Nonetheless, to want someone that is so bad for you, who takes you to the depths of despair and humiliation? I'll pass on this one next time!

Post Script*
Thinking about helpful tranists that are helping me move away from this relationship - Transiting Uranus in Aries is conjuncting our composite 8th house moon. Transformation? possibly, but definitely an ending. I think it takes the powerful outer planets Ur-Nep-Pl to bust a couple free or from the Venus-Pluto grip. How people survive this type of relationship is mindboggling. I felt if I was to stay locked into it one more minute, I would go crazy - so much manipulation and power trips by both of us. In fact, I might have gone a bit over the top in my behaviors with him. I think I'll be so grateful I got myself free from it that I won't even be embarrassed by my behaviors working to do it. There's gotta be an easier way. But this is my experience only.

That's really good.
I do believe I chase and pine for the mythical creature known as Intimacy [Juno in Cancer in 8th, square Pluto + a strong Lilith placement] and assume I will find it directly attached to intensity (men that have strong water in their charts who emote feeling (Pisces/Cancer) or generate an aura of feeling (Scorpio) I can connect to/with that definitively snare my attraction)..but real Intimacy is not just experiencing compulsory feelings with/for someone basically on their own..if it's primarily you providing the emotional glue keeping a relationship's pieces together..something inherently required for longevity and fulfillment is missing.

Like, while it may be a basic fact that strong feelings/reactions exist for/with someone, that does not mean that the situation/involvement is actually what you're looking/hoping for (authentic Intimacy) or actually even possible at all (Neptunian illusion/delusion)..particularly if the person on the other end of the personal equation does not/cannot meet you emotionally anywhere near the submerged half way point (if you show/tell/share your "stuff" I'll show you mine, for example - building trust and forging acceptance in the process), let alone follow you or (God forbid..) lead you, all the way to the other side of deep connection/total dissolvement.
"Don't stop - believing" :love: One can only hope.. :p
 

Marymat

Member
I'm new to astrology, I've always had an interest but never the time. Part of the reason I am looking into it now is because of a bad breakup that I have not been able to get over. In trying to keep myself busy I have made the search for answers much harder.:innocent:

My ex has now gone back to his last girlfriend who was very emotionally and verbally abusive to him. I noticed in their synastry chart that her pluto is square to his venus. From reading this thread this might explain his pull to her.

In our synastry chart, his Venus is sextile to my Pluto. I just noticed that my venus is square to his pluto as well. Can anyone give an opinion to this combination in our synastry?
 

Claire19

Well-known member
Hello, I was wanting to know if anyone could tell me more about Venus/Pluto contacts in synastry and composite chart? The reason I ask is because I have Venus sextile Pluto and Pluto trine Venus in synastry with someone, and Venus square Pluto in the composite chart. Does anyone else have this going on with someone you know, if so how do you handle it or walk away from it?:confused:
Interesting you brought this up. They are powerful love aspects for sure. Major transformations through finances and or love.....Sometimes there is an obsessive quality even with the easier connections. I wouldnt walk away on the strength of just one aspect.....I have found that easy aspects in synastry can manifest as more difficult ones in composite. Making me think that we shouldn't really place too much emphasis on the nature of contact but just that the contact exists. The composite chart is THE relationship that is created at the third entity and shows the dynamics at play between you and especially as others perceive the relationship....Synastry is interpersonal connections and can be contradictory and confusing..\
.SO although I look at them I place far more emphasis on the composite. THe transits there as well. However the orb of aspect is necessarily smaller than on a natal chart for both synastry and composite. I wouldnt give credence to any more than 3 degrees......

Others may disagree.
 

Claire19

Well-known member
I'm new to astrology, I've always had an interest but never the time. Part of the reason I am looking into it now is because of a bad breakup that I have not been able to get over. In trying to keep myself busy I have made the search for answers much harder.:innocent:

My ex has now gone back to his last girlfriend who was very emotionally and verbally abusive to him. I noticed in their synastry chart that her pluto is square to his venus. From reading this thread this might explain his pull to her.

In our synastry chart, his Venus is sextile to my Pluto. I just noticed that my venus is square to his pluto as well. Can anyone give an opinion to this combination in our synastry?
Without your charts it is difficult to tell as we have to see the whole picture and integrate it....The areas that these aspects affect is all important. Pluto is a strong magnetic force and no doubt about it. It can lead to unleashing dark passions if not recognised and handled.
So the obsessive quality can be destructive but strangely compelling. He may somehow find the abuse strangely arousing or stimulating. Also unless you witnessed the interplay with him and ex, you are only hearing his side of it, I would suggest. It takes two to tango....and to buy into a situation.....
 

Claire19

Well-known member
I'm interested in the idea that Venus/Pluto aspects may indicate some kind of karmic tie. My lover and i have Venus oppo Pluto in our composite chart, and we have not been able to end our relationship for 13yrs.

I have a Venus quincunx Pluto in my natal chart (3°) and he has an exact trine Venus/Mars in his natal chart. But i think its our exact Ven/Plu opposition in the composite thats creates attraction pure. It was love at first sight for me. Our first weekend lasted 3 days and 3 nights of nonstop, fu** fest, as if we were starving for each other, and our only break was to fall asleep still bound together.

Its addicting, suffocating, scary, and the jealousy and the fear....but we just can't/won't say good bye, and we've tried.
You describe this aspect perfectly. Venus opposite Pluto. It is compelling and deep and yes it may well be from past association and karmic.....Your quincunx would bear more on an irritation that is chronic, such as a health issue.. That it has lasted so long is significant but why do you want to break away?? Is it a taboo or secret association???
We all have negative and positive to deal with in relationships and very rarely are we always in accord. That is not growth producing.....:smile:
 

Claire19

Well-known member
Pluto/Mars/Saturn...be prepared to bring out the whips and crops. This is heavy and can bring out some sadistic streaks.......but if the overall synastry is loving it could just point to some extremely kinky/domineering stuff.
That comment is general and as I have Pluto Mars Saturn in connection and involving the 8th house as well. I dont agree that it is necessarily sadistic, cold or cruel in a physical sense always. But karmic, absolutely. THe aspects also affecting these planets elsewhere will tell the whole story..
 

Marymat

Member
Without your charts it is difficult to tell as we have to see the whole picture and integrate it....The areas that these aspects affect is all important. Pluto is a strong magnetic force and no doubt about it. It can lead to unleashing dark passions if not recognised and handled.
So the obsessive quality can be destructive but strangely compelling. He may somehow find the abuse strangely arousing or stimulating. Also unless you witnessed the interplay with him and ex, you are only hearing his side of it, I would suggest. It takes two to tango....and to buy into a situation.....

This is where I get confused as to how it all ties together. I have read several sticky's but the light isnt coming on.

His venus (12th house) is sextile to my pluto (11th house). My venus (8th) is square to his pluto (2nd).

I dont understand why I havent been able to get past it.
 

Marymat

Member
Oh and I did witness some things firsthand, as we were aquaintances. Also our kids (his and mine) were in class together so I did meet the girlfriend a few times. After the girlfriend met me a second time he started avoiding me. Later he admitted it was because she didnt like me.

Also a few months after she and I met, she found some texts messages between he and I and got upset. The messages werent inappropriate or anything. I was the class "room mom" at the time and the texts were regarding something the class was doing and needed. Later at 2 am I got a text from her that said "he's (4 letter word)ing me now. How does that make you feel?" When I didnt respond she starting calling my phone so that I could actually hear them doing it. She called another 3 times until they finished and it then he realized what had happened. She's nuts.

I wont put anything past him. He very well may enjoy the drama between them. I will say that he does have tendencies towards depression and low self esteem. He was verbally abused as a child and somewhat neglected.
 

Marymat

Member
Another story...when she found out that he and I had started dating she began calling him non stop and he ignored her. Finally she sent him a text message saying that she was 4 months pregnant. She had been to the obgyn etc. She was lying, just trying to get him to call her back. She didnt understand why we made "such a big deal over it."
 

FireStarter

Active member
This is interesting. What really should be said at some point is that both persons can play the role of rebuilder/destroyer in relationships not by virtue of tendencies carried by signs or ruling planets, but by the individuals themselves.

In this case, I think there is this tendency to believe that the pluto person [un]consciously does all of this destructive work. Is it really just a passing thought in anyone elses mind other than mine, that the internal dynamics that cause this scenario to play out? I have experienced a venus/pluto square, and I am the pluto (in Scorpio) 'vs' the venus (in Leo) and things were the exact opposite of all you are describing.

The venus actually turned out to be the liar and the traitor. Secretive and manipulative, which is not something the pluto in scorpio would allow, for long. And yes in this case, pluto did destroy. Pluto destroyed the facade, a bit of the arrogance and a bit of the egoism, that is before the venus had the chance to destroy pluto completely, which reared its ugly head right after the mask was taken off--big time. The soft, gentleness faded and rude, degrading things showed up. All that was left was a dying flame being fanned by the last breath of sentamentality. I also think the signs of the pluto and venus play a part in this as well. And guess who was really devastated--both of us. I felt like a fool for buying into it even a little, and they felt HORRIBLE for deceiving me. They felt so bad, that I felt bad for them feeling bad and I thought I was wrong. :-(

I don't agree with this notion that "one is sick" and one "is the healer." In my experiences AND in my observations of others--both parties have some "sickness" or lacking that they both feel the need to intuitively fill in the other. Often times, it seems both are looking for something from each other. Both are searching for different things that are somehow interrelated. Love and intimacy, are obviously tied. But how they play out, varies. I have played victim in relationships long enough to know that we must accept our responsibility and our decisions to learn the lessons we learn from complex relationships even when they damage us. This is when we truly become empowered. This is where the regeneration takes place within and with you, perhaps long after that person is gone.

But if you ask the "venus person" they might recall the situation exactly as many of you have stated. Was I trying to "harm" them or remove dignity, in my case no. Did I do it in a harsh, demeaning, hurtful way--not at all. I was extremely forward and direct. But they might very well perceive it that way. As if I was smashing things. I just wanted to truth. It is all about perspective really. I wouldn't go characterize every venus sq. pluto in this way either. I'm not going to go characterize every venus in Leo that way. I try to look at astrology as objectively as possible without allowing 'too many' of my experiences to cloud a balanced outlook of the larger implications.

I think the specific scenarios many have mentioned here do not completely shed light on other synastry aspects or they minimize the importance of other dynamics that might have contributed to the way some of the stories have unfolded. They minimize transits also. I say that to say, some of these sound down right awful, but lets not get into the "oh I experienced this, you experienced that" because we all know astrology is amazingly complex.

And perhaps I am midly offended because I am the pluto person. I am somewhat empathic and have a ton of other 'strange' placements in my chart that make me quite sensitive to relationship dynamics. We all have the power to redirect our regenerative energies. It is really unfair that so many times in the astrology community, we blame things on aspects and predispositions when it really has more to do with personal awareness, self-awareness and self-knowledge (or lack of) that lights the fire so to speak. Everyone is not as 'aware' as others are, so we then began blaming or thinking that it must have been intentional. They knew what they were doing. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. And worse, perhaps they didn't care at all. How much that had to do when synastry...meh, who knows. We like to find meanings for things. But sometimes, we can go to far. Sometimes, we might end up judging other relationships based on these things. Takes the joy out of life, and learning in a way. And the reality is that pain actually teaches us.

So to answer the person above, yes, there are cases where the venus person can play a sort of 'reversed' role so to speak.
 

MelissaM

Well-known member
in venus pluto interactions in synastry is it always the pluto person that manipulates the other or could it be the venus person as well?

The pluto person as well as the venus person can manipulate each other because both are hypnotized by a strange passion which is difficult to break. This is not love, this is a feeling of passion because both see in each other fascination, intensity and an intimate connection and also when this aspect is involved with neptune.....this connection gets distorted and confused by illusions and a false feeling of love
 

MelissaM

Well-known member
Every time when transiting venus travels my own sign it goes around my natal sun, pluto, venus and saturn causing on me to be into relationships with guys who also have a venus/pluto aspect natally. I see that transiting venus was conjucting my natal pluto when I felt an intensified feeling for that guy whose pluto was conjuncting my venus...before this venus transit happened, I didn't feel anything special for him, he was not even handsome. Yes, this is very strange to feel something like this with somebody who is not for us.
 

moonwillow

Well-known member
Agree MelissaM, glad to see you back on this post, as you most probably remember from our previous threads, I was the venus and he was the pluto, additionally I have venus square pluto natally, our synastry his pluto also hit my venus, and my venus hit his pluto, 0 orb. There were other aspects too
like Sun conjunct Pluto and Moon Trine Pluto
and venus conjunct neptune which added Disillusionment to the pot. Saturn also added to the mix, and the aspects or should I say misery, just went on and on
it was a nightmare, and I agree wholeheartedly with what you have articulated.

so glad it is over, I feel the burden has been lifted and I never want to go there again. I avoid him like a plague because it was destructive to both of us, and he could not see that. I have only seen him twice since, and I could sense the anger and resentment from him still. Sad because the relationship was an impossibility and he could not see or accept that. There was also a generational gap, he was relatively older than I was.

It has been a long journey, but I am better off now. I am peace at last.

I hope you have found peace too MelissaM.

Take care
Moonwillow
 

MelissaM

Well-known member
Agree MelissaM, glad to see you back on this post, as you most probably remember from our previous threads, I was the venus and he was the pluto, additionally I have venus square pluto natally, our synastry his pluto also hit my venus, and my venus hit his pluto, 0 orb. There were other aspects too
like Sun conjunct Pluto and Moon Trine Pluto
and venus conjunct neptune which added Disillusionment to the pot. Saturn also added to the mix, and the aspects or should I say misery, just went on and on
it was a nightmare, and I agree wholeheartedly with what you have articulated.

so glad it is over, I feel the burden has been lifted and I never want to go there again. I avoid him like a plague because it was destructive to both of us, and he could not see that. I have only seen him twice since, and I could sense the anger and resentment from him still. Sad because the relationship was an impossibility and he could not see or accept that. There was also a generational gap, he was relatively older than I was.

It has been a long journey, but I am better off now. I am peace at last.




Moonwillow , you did good and this shows that you are a strong woman, not many people have the courage to say "no" to this kind of relationship. This older man wanted to take some advantage of you and as a pluto person his intention was to maybe dominate you sexually and psychologically. Now you learnt and you are able to choose a suitable partner for you. Things happen for a reason. You deserve someone good for you. During the time I was absent from this forum, many things happened and I had to deal with it. My anger for him went to the extreme, he betrayed me again and again, he called me me many times to give him a hand and then he did something that made me so angry. During the time he left me to move to another state, he started to mess around with me by sending letters of a fake name to my restaurant address... he kept doing it until I told him if he keeps doing it, I will have to tell his wife about all. He used to persuade me to have sexual fantasies about him and everytime when I told him "noway" he got so mad. Moonwillow, I was living a nightmare with this person, but now he is returning all the stuffs he borrowed from me because he is afraid that I will tell his wife about all the things, his lies. He doesn't accept his mistakes, I believe he doesn't see himself clearly. Bad for him...I don't like when people do such a things, being unfaithful to their partners, . Sad that his wife doesn't know nothing since he knows how to hide everything very well. However I don't want to fight more and I just want to be in peace and learn not to trust easily. We have venus/pluto conjunction aspect and also his pluto conjuncts my sun, his mars conjunct my neptune, my moon sextile to his mars, and we had opposite ascendant/descendant that's why I thought he was the one for me but fortunately we were not meant to be. I just can say "Thank you God"
 
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