To pursue or not to pursue...

Should I pursue the relationship?

  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No

    Votes: 1 50.0%
  • Are you seriously asking dating advice from us?

    Votes: 1 50.0%
  • Oi vei.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    2

Lithuel

Well-known member
There's a guy that I've been friends with for years, occasionally with benefits. We know there's dynamite sexual chemistry :devil:, but for the first time, we're both in a place in our lives where we are free to pursue a relationship if we want. I know we both want it, but I'm a bit afraid of rose-colored glasses, so that's why I'm writing this here. I need another set of eyes (or more than one set of eyes :wink: ) to look at the astrology and see it from a fresh perspective.

I'm Natal_1, and I'm also the inside of the Synastry wheel.

In terms of synastry:

Sun/Moon/Chart Angles: our Suns are in an out-of-sign square that's less than 3 degrees from exact, my Sun is in an out-of-sign opposition with his Moon that is less than 6 degrees from exact, and my Moon is in a very-wide-orb-for-a-sextile with his Sun at 7 degrees precisely. Our Ascendants are sextile with a 4 degree orb. My Sun sextiles his Venus less than 4 degree orb, and his Moon opposes my Venus with less than a 6 degree orb. His IC (and his S. Node) is right between my Moon-Pluto conjunction. Kind of a mixed-bag, and probably not the easiest relationship I could pursue, but at least the Suns and Moons are talking to each other, and the same can be said for the Ascendants.

Venus/Mars: our Venuses and Marses (is that how you say it?) don't have any direct aspects with each other, except maybe his Venus conjunct my Mars with an orb of more than 12 degrees (and my MC between them, being less than 3 degrees from his Venus and 9 degrees from my Mars). But, his Venus and my Mars are both in Cancer, and his Leo Mars is in a compatible sign for my Gemini Venus, even if there isn't an actual sextile between them. Again, the compatibility seems to be there, if not in high levels.

Mercuries: My Mercury is opposed by his Moon less than 2 degrees, squared by his Sun by 5 degrees, and trine his Jupiter less than 5 degrees. His Mercury plugs into my natal Yod, creating the double yod in the synastry (pointing to Gemini and Capricorn). This entails the following aspects within 1.5 degree orb: square to my Pluto, sextile my Jupiter, quincunx my Saturn-Neptune. There's also a sextile to my Venus with a 4 degree orb, and a square to my Moon with a more than 6 degree orb.

Saturn: I'm concerned this is the problem. There's not a lot of Saturn in our synastry. Other than the quincunx between my Saturn and his Mercury (not exactly the most stable aspect), the only other aspect is 7 degree orb opposition between his Saturn and my Sun. Is that enough to hold for the long term? Maybe the Composite and Davison can give it some glue, but there's just not a heavy component of Saturn in either. The only thing that stands out is Saturn right on the IC in both Composite and Davison; could that be the solid foundation for the relationship?

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Any contributions would be appreciated!
 

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Lithuel

Well-known member
Thanks, Arena, I appreciate the vote in favor! I've indicated I'm interested to him, now the ball is in his court.

In the meantime, my Venus in Gemini isn't sitting still waiting for him to make up his mind, so I'm already eyeing another beau :love:.
 

muchacho

Well-known member
Thanks, Arena, I appreciate the vote in favor! I've indicated I'm interested to him, now the ball is in his court.

In the meantime, my Venus in Gemini isn't sitting still waiting for him to make up his mind, so I'm already eyeing another beau :love:.

Okay, here's my take on synastry. I don't care about aspects. Differences there can all be worked out. What's more difficult to work out is differences in the elements. So that's what I usually focus on. It's a totally basic approach but usually it's already enough. Sexuality aside, if you want to just be friends with someone, then I'd look at the Sun and the rising sign. But if you want to really live with someone, then I'd look at the Sun and the Moon, especially the Moon, because that's your private side, when you let your hair down.

ASC: Leo and Libra are a perfect match in my opinion. There's much attraction power to be found there.

Sun: Virgo and Taurus, two earthy signs, similar understanding of Self.

Moon: Scorpio and Sagittarius, those are complete opposites. That's where you should do some reading. What Moon in Sagittarius (with Uranus!) needs and what Moon in Scorpio (with Pluto!) needs. They don't really match. It takes some effort to make it work. If you both understand those differences and don't attempt to change each other, then that may already be enough. So I suggest you do some reading and exploring in that area.

The Sagittarius Moon is very open, can't keep secrets, always straight from the heart and doesn't care about hierarchies and above all has to express freely. The focus is on variety and expansion instead of depth. The Scorpio Moon, however, tends to keep things to himself, not straight forward at all, thinks very much in hierarchies and above all has to be in control of things. The focus is on depth and purity instead of variety and expansion. So the main issue will probably center around control issues and responsibility. One takes those issues very seriously, the other one doesn't really care about such issues. That's where I suggest you take a closer look.

And astrology aside, you can make any relationship work by just focusing on the parts that you like in the other most of the time. If you are really good at that, you can extract behavior from others they would normally not show, just because of your strong focus and expectation. But that requires a little effort on your part. And you are probably not that sure anyway, or else you wouldn't care about anybody else's opinion, you would just go after it. To sum it up, it can work, but it requires effort.

I don't know your idea of an ideal relationship, so I can't give you any doing advice. If your idea is to sacrifice for one another and that one has to apply effort and willpower to make a relationship work, then go ahead and do it. If your idea is that everything has to fall naturally and effortlessly into place, then don't do it. You see, there obviously is attraction power, but if you really want to live with someone day in day out, you have to consider a few more things. But if you are not interested in any long term commitment, then I don't see any problem there.
 
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Lithuel

Well-known member
ASC: Leo and Libra are a perfect match in my opinion. There's much attraction power to be found there.

Sun: Virgo and Taurus, two earthy signs, similar understanding of Self.

All true so far. There is a strong and easy-flowing attraction with each other. But, as you point out:

Moon: Scorpio and Sagittarius, those are complete opposites. That's where you should do some reading. What Moon in Sagittarius (with Uranus!) needs and what Moon in Scorpio (with Pluto!) needs. They don't really match. It takes some effort to make it work. If you both understand those differences and don't attempt to change each other, then that may already be enough. So I suggest you do some reading and exploring in that area.

The Sagittarius Moon is very open, can't keep secrets, always straight from the heart and doesn't care about hierarchies and above all has to express freely. The focus is on variety and expansion instead of depth. The Scorpio Moon, however, tends to keep things to himself, not straight forward at all, thinks very much in hierarchies and above all has to be in control of things. The focus is on depth and purity instead of variety and expansion. So the main issue will probably center around control issues and responsibility. One takes those issues very seriously, the other one doesn't really care about such issues. That's where I suggest you take a closer look.

^Yup. That's exactly where we hit a roadblock that I couldn't go past. I need a lot of physical contact and affection from my partner (I know, it's excessive to most people, but I love to cuddle almost 24/7, in private of course), and for various reasons, he wasn't interested or able to give that to me.

I am curious, could you explain (or direct me to an article or book) that describes what you're talking about when you say "hierarchies"? I'm pretty sure I sorta get what you're saying, but some clarification here would be appreciated :)

And astrology aside, you can make any relationship work by just focusing on the parts that you like in the other most of the time. If you are really good at that, you can extract behavior from others they would normally not show, just because of your strong focus and expectation. But that requires a little effort on your part. And you are probably not that sure anyway, or else you wouldn't care about anybody else's opinion, you would just go after it. To sum it up, it can work, but it requires effort.

I don't know your idea of an ideal relationship, so I can't give you any doing advice. If your idea is to sacrifice for one another and that one has to apply effort and willpower to make a relationship work, then go ahead and do it. If your idea is that everything has to fall naturally and effortlessly into place, then don't do it. You see, there obviously is attraction power, but if you really want to live with someone day in day out, you have to consider a few more things. But if you are not interested in any long term commitment, then I don't see any problem there.

Well, that experiment is over. I have no problem loving my exes, but I also have no desire to attempt another romantic entanglement with him for the rest of this life.

I'm not someone who seeks an easy path for sure, but there are certain things that I most certainly do need in a partner in order for me to be healthy as a person.

Anyway, thanks for your comments, Muchacho!
 

muchacho

Well-known member
All true so far. There is a strong and easy-flowing attraction with each other. But, as you point out:



^Yup. That's exactly where we hit a roadblock that I couldn't go past. I need a lot of physical contact and affection from my partner (I know, it's excessive to most people, but I love to cuddle almost 24/7, in private of course), and for various reasons, he wasn't interested or able to give that to me.

I am curious, could you explain (or direct me to an article or book) that describes what you're talking about when you say "hierarchies"? I'm pretty sure I sorta get what you're saying, but some clarification here would be appreciated :)



Well, that experiment is over. I have no problem loving my exes, but I also have no desire to attempt another romantic entanglement with him for the rest of this life.

I'm not someone who seeks an easy path for sure, but there are certain things that I most certainly do need in a partner in order for me to be healthy as a person.

Anyway, thanks for your comments, Muchacho!
Hey, you're welcome. And thanks for the feedback!

With thinking in hierarchies I meant that for the Scorpio it has to be clear who's leading and who's following while for the Sagittarius dealing with others as equals is just fine.

Since you are a Libra rising and his Sun is in Virgo, he's actually triggering your 12th House (if we use whole sign houses). So maybe he forced you to deal with some 12th House stuff.

Yeah, instead of re-modelling or re-educating each other, better find someone who's a natural match. But at least now you are more clear about what you want and need. That's already something.

Good luck!
 
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