Gaer-- Is that you???? Welcome back!!
Yes. I'm back.
I lost a very close, dear friend who was a big part of this forum, and I think I had to go through a grieving process to find my way back. I'll tell you more about this in a PM, if you are interested.
I take your point about a parental planet indicating the person's experience of the planet, not what the parent was objectively like. Obviously you could have siblings each with different Saturn or moon placements, yet it's the same parent notwithstanding. And of course, our experiences can change over time.
I'm sure you remember me as a bit of a maverick. I tend to be "agnostic" in a very large sense, not wanting to be taken for a mark by fully committing to any belief system, but I could never be an atheist, also in the largest sense, a person who rejects things as impossible just because they may be unlikely.
For that reason I take "wisdom" with a huge grain of salt unless I have experience the truth of it personally. Any word we throw around can be viewed from many different perspectives. What is "service"? Is it really harder to serve than be served? Is it really less rewarding? Is un-doing a bad thing? Don't we all need a bit of it now and then? That is sort of the a Scorpionic point of view, perhaps. We can wait for life to un-do us, which then happens in ways that are horribly timed and terribly painful, or we can make up our minds to deliberately un-do ourselves, periodically, consciously and with clear goals.
I would argue that the people who are "un-done" by life, or karma, or fate, are those who have learned to turn off reality-checks, or worse, have learned NOT to listen to their own inner voices.
I would interpret my own 12th house experiences as incredibly intense. I can never shake a very strong feeling that "the hour of midnight is about to arrive", and by that I mean that the time for change is NOW. For me wrong actions, including any kind of cruelty or selfishness, have immediate, powerful consequences. I literally get sick when I lose my temper unfairly, lash out at people impatiently, or - worst of all - appoint myself judge and jury in a way that tells me I have the right to look down on other people.
Which does not keep me from making those mistakes!
I think the 12th house is easier to explain for people who have read Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now; Buddhism, Hinduism, or some of the human potential movements that encourage people to get their egos out of the way and just be still.
Again, I think a 12th house emphasis makes realizing this more critical. Is there a person on this planet who does not need to learn more about stilling the ego and learning to be still? But perhaps those without this 12th house emphasis are better able to defer that growth. That is the only thing that resonates with me. It's as if letting my ego get out of control brings karmic lessons 12 times as fast as for many others. If I did not know that, I would spend my whole life totally miserable. In fact, if I had not learned that lesson at least to some extent, long ago, I am quite sure I would have been long dead.
Some people who are not really meant to be happiest in highly visible positions with lots of obvious recognition may limp along living such a life. They may never realize another path might make them much happier. For me the moment I went in that direction, looking for a more obvious, visible place in the world, I got the absolute opposite of what I thought I wanted. I was totally miserable.
I also need an incredible amount of quiet time, time to recharge.
Here is another idea. Unlike most here I do not read books or study astrology. That may be my loss, but I only have my own experience and those of other people I've known, both as people and as "natives" (with charts). The more refined our knowledge of good and evil becomes, right and wrong, wise and foolish, the more immediate and critical "paybacks" become when we violate that knowledge, for any reason.
I suspect that people who live tragic lives who have "difficult" 12th house placements probably have to work overtime to "kill" their own intuitive sense of what they should and should not be doing, so if they do ignore their own inner knowledge and willfully choose to go against what they really know to be right and true, their suffering is unbearable.
Looked at from this perspective, the ego might be a good servant but it is definitely a poor master. As the modern "house of self undoing" the 12th house works best if we learn how to let our self be run by What-Is rather than by me, me, me. I think this shift in consciousness is felt most strongly by 12th house sun people; but as Carris indicated, it can take a while for the individual to make this transition.
That is pretty much what I was trying to say. I don't think all people with such placements delay in making necessary transitions, but those who do are going to feel the pain of not doing so MUCH more keenly. However, I don't have my Sun there, so I can't comment on this personally. In fact, none of my friends or family members have Sun in the 12th. That is strange, really, because statistically I would think one out of 12 people would have that placement.