the node and reality

rahu

Banned
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=121635
Re: Is there any chance for this to solidify ever?
So, there's this guy who is reappearing in my life, and we are constantly playing hot and cold at different times. He appeared once again just before this retrograde Venus and I don't know what to do anymore.

Can someone help me understand our "functioning pattern" and if there is any chance, like ever, for us to succeed, or I should forget it?

hi sasha


i look for he most exact aspect when trying to see the longest lasting vibrations. here Uranus is conjunct to saturn by 2 arc seconds. this could imply that he will always be a comer and goer as Saturn and Uranus are a polarity of stability and change so he may always be content to" sit on the fence".

chiron is opposed to this conjunction which adds a unfortunate critical intensity. that is he is always finding fault or looking for faults instead of working with the present influences.


mars/venus and mars/sun midpoints are square to neptune.this is usually associated with hidden affairs.with both mars and venus involved, it may be that your live style with him includes a lot of socializing and enjoying yourselves in public.
but this pattern of aspects does not work for a stable relationship as the sense of loyalty can be eroded fairly quickly.


so it seems from this that he enjoys you and knows he is unattached at the same time.


a major problem with this set up is that mercury is conjunct to Sedna

mercury . again a exact conjunct within 3 arc minutes. so truth has always been a basic element for your emotional and mental connection to him. this implies a relationship based on truth.


but the sedna /mercury conjunction is opposed to Pluto and squared to orcus. this invariably shows there are "preextisitng" issues that will impact the subconscious emotional connections at the least.the effect is that certain part of personal history are never revealed.
ultimately this leads to some form of deception or self deception.
if even transparencies is desire,emotional dynamics can block true intimacy.


sun/Venus/juno conjunct, with the named asteriod aura opposed to these shows that part of the love you share involves at least insinuations of permanency someday. juno especially strengthens your love from a long term perspective and he at leasts puts off soft notions that he would like a permanent hookup....


i used the named asteriod for you, sasha,and it is square to the vertex which means that the energy of this relationship really affect you and come through strong.even if you have resolve to break it off, once he appears the energies just picks you up.


the composite has mars square to psyche which incenses the sense of pure love between you. so many loving and attractive vibration here.


i just feel he is ultimately is a selfish user.

pluto opposed to Jupiter show worldly ambitions and desires are more important that emotional relationships.and hence he will not give up any options about his life.


the chart has strong marriage characteristics but also separation dynamics, so i suggest making your stand. commitment or nothing.
more than that you need to talk about marriage with him. either way he needs to know the outcome is in his hands.
rahu
 

rahu

Banned
91127
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=86879
Need assistance understanding relationship please!
Hi venusbutterfly
This is a difficult composite because there are two opposing tendency . first venus is conjunct the sun and square to the e moon. This gives the vibrant emotional feeling that exit between you.
Mercury is conjuct to Uranus so your mental connection is exceptional .this shos you are both very intelligent and highly psychic. This aspect can give common dreams together and other psychic connections.

But there are also severe mental reservations.
Pluto is on the ascendant which is extreme unfortunate as this shows that a strong unconscious selfishness exist. Pluto is square to Saturn at midheaven showing he is very distant and cold at times so th relationship is bipolar, either extremely intense and inspired or depressing cold and distant. This type of relationship does not flourish as there is not middle ground to grow and the routine compromises that make a relationship work are missing. It is either unbelieving intense or depressing and cold.

With mercury square to orcus, the intensely vibrant communication can suddenly shut off for no apparent reason. There is so much clarity between you but it is cut off by mental isolation unexpectedly.
The Saturn/pluto square trumps the mental and emotional connection.
There are unconscious dynamics at work which mean that the relationship is not based on conscious feelings or decisions but on dynamics that come from the unconscious and hence are unapproachable.

rahu

Thank you very much for your response.this is all true.its so intense, and amazing then nothing but silence from him.he said he wants to understand why more, and when we connect i feel that something in me is alive and he stimulates a joy and love in me so amazingly strong, and feelings i have never felt before, i feel him with me when i amalone sometimes also, he had cancer and is losing his vision so i thought that is why he becomes distant, i blamed myself for a while also, but now i only want to focus on the positive .i am leaving country soon for service work internationally.i feel as though i cant stop thinking of him sumtimes, and he feels that too but still staus far...i wonder if he is like this with most people..i believe so, again thanks for your help i am doing mybest to stay positive, loving, appreciative, self loving, thank you
 

rahu

Banned
91214
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=86742

compatibility analysis

hi moonmuse.

ths is a very interesting composite, as it has aspects that usually show a difficult relationship. Saturn is opposed to chiron and square to the Venus/sun conjunction. the Saturn/chiron opposition usually does not work out because the man is a tyrant. in western culture composites, th e woman role is so dominated that most can't take it. but as he is from iran, his personality is reflective of the patriarchal cloture he is from.
assuming you are from western culture, then the success of the relationship will depends on you becoming subservient to his dictates.
with the moon conjunct the south node and mercury square the node, your relationship has very good communication. it may be that problems of cultural differences can be talked about and compromised.
The moon/sun and moon/venus midpoint is conjunct to vesta implying that you already accept a devoted and loving role in relationship to him.

The moon is opposed to Saturn , which usually is a difficult aspect as it shows there may not be a open emotional connection. Again this usually shows emotional restraint which is not the best aspect for a relationship.
Jun is loosely conjunct to Jupiter so this leads to feelings and thoughts of commitment or marriage. But Jupiter is square to pluto. This aspect is another that is not favorable for long term relationships because it shows that personal ambitions be it education or professional advancement are more important that love.often with this aspect the relationship is just a step to other things and not a step to commitment. This aspect brings very selfish motives.
There is on feature in the composite which is very unusual. Lilth is conjunct the ascendant and opposed to the vertex on the descendant. This shows that there is a very deep emotional connection between you.the vertex can bring intensity to the relationship and if could reflect a previous “karma” between you. I can say whether it adds to the longevity of the relationship or not but it certainly makes your emotional connection with him very unique
I can’t really get a hold on this composite, that is to say I can’t see whether it is stable or will fall away.
But the hard aspects that are there usually show a relationship that will not endure. but I can’t see for how long or not.

rahu


Thank you very much for your analysis. Synastry is a fascinating subject. I checked with him once more and he said it's possible his birth time was a bit earlier. So I have attached our other possible composite chart below. Obviously, the planetary positioning remains the same with the new birth time; however, the house placements are changed. Im taking it from your analysis, that aspects between planets are more important than planetary house placements.

I can definitely feel his need to be dominant in our relationship- the aspect portended by the saturn/chiron opposition. Thus far, it hasn't negatively affected anything. Interestingly, for the first time in my life, I'm able to focus more on my career path and less on the relationship than I've ever been able. It feels like a nice balance for me, but we are currently long distance (I'm in Denver and he's in Boston) until I can figure this matter out and find a job back east.

The lilith aspect is also felt. There's definitely a karmic feel to everything between us. It's almost as if we've known each other for forever, even though we've only known each other for 8 months. It was a case 'love at first sight.' I most definitely hope that the relationship lasts, at least for awhile, and that he is in my life for a long time. If it's not meant to be, I trust the universe to sort all of that out too :)

Thank you for your response. I truly appreciate your insight!
 

rahu

Banned
91278

https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=86810


Worst Composite chart? Help!!


Hi nastya

The composite does show much passion and affection but your are correct in that the opposition is problematic.
The moon square to venus and mercury shows that you really enjoy each other and you both talk and laugh a lot .
But problems begin with the moon square to Neptune and Neptune appose to mercury. This shows that there are hidden motives and often Neptune with venus shows the relationship[ will be unfaithful. Neptune usually shows you met in a social setting, while you out on the town and either of you were probably looking for a steady hookup .

Jupiter trine to chiron and mercury shows that you both are very intelligent ad have serious and intellectual talks about obscure things that interest you. This shows that the relationship is not all frivolous but that you both are mature and concerned about the future and social conditions.
But Saturn is conjunct to Uranus and opposed to he sun. this clearly indicates that he does not want a committed relationship. And with Neptune involved it seems he simply want to date and have sex. .so his intense ardor for you will likely dissipate very soon after you become intimate..

Another interesting aspect is the node on the ascendant. This shows that your minds are in sync, that you have a strong psychic connection and find yourself thinking and saying things at the same time. This can make a relationship seem “karmic” but what often happens is that you end up trying to control or influence the other thoughts too much. If you both realize there is a psychic connection this can be very good but most often it leads to arguments for the former reasons.

So over all it seems he is just interested in you physically . likely he is a”player” and definitely does not what a serious relationship.
rahu

I can't be more grateful to you, rahu! Thank you very much!! We met each other actually in the shop where I was working at the time. He was on vacation in my country. Although I don't want to think he is a player, the fact he is an Aries, sun in the 5th h. and scorpio ascendant makes it more believable :D In our synastry, we have a lot of Neptune aspects too - his Sun square Neptune and Uranus, my Moon opposite his Neptune, his Moon conjunct my Neptune and Ur. I was worried about the Venus square Saturn and Moon square Mars too. But we also have good aspects:D Here is the synastry chart I promised:



this synastry shows why it is difficult to interpret these comparisons.
his moon position can be favorable as it stimulates your ,mars/Jupiter dynamic.

but his sun is conjunct to Eris and opposed to your mars/Jupiter influences. and square you your Uranus/Neptune.

this gives him a highly attractive social personality or aura. he is intensely sexual but wit eris it is more of conquest than commitment as the sexual urges of Eris are always looking around. you have mars/Jupiter square Neptune which suggest that you have been deceived before . Neptune and Uranus position give the ability to inspire others but to some time deceive your self.Neptune

his eros is square to the nodal axis and Neptune I conjunct the south node. these are more aspects the increase his use of emotions and intimate moments.

this is not a person interested in a sincere relations'. you seem to be drawn like a moth to him, but take the moments with him but do not look to the future.

rahu
 

rahu

Banned
91430
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114530

Clairvoyance/Empath in chart?
Hi Everyone,

I've always been a feeler and someone who picked up on other peoples' energies. It's what makes me very selective about who I spend my time with and how I spend my time.


Hi drenee7

The reason I asked for a astro.com chart is because usually any questions about psychic abilities or associated phenomena involve the node.
Your chart has mercury conjunct the south node. This shows you have a very creative and intelligent mind.this is also a indices of psychic abilities but the south node also brings many extraneous thought forms into you mind , so very often a person, such as your self, does not regard themselves as psychic but rather just very logical and deductive. But you do have psychic abilities. Haven’t you wondered why you can always anticipate what another person will say, you think it is just logic at work but it is your psychic energy. Conversely, you give out strong psychic energy, so I would expect others occasional anticipate what you are going to say.
Your Uranus is square to the vertex which is most likely the symbol that gives your other abilities, as this opens you up to the astral plane. This shows you have vivid dreams that are sometimes prophetic. The vertex though also brings in extraneous “cosmic” energy ,so you likely have confusing images or dreams that don’t make any sense because the energy you are picking up really isn’t about your particular karma this can give you otherworldly or altered reality feelings or experiences also.
Neptune is also square to the vertex which can brings you visions. Often these visions can start as dreams and continue into your waking state, or you can just have vision in your conscious state. Both Uranus and Neptune square to the vertex can give clairvoyance and other associated abilities.

You empathetic sensitivities are most likely coming from Venus opposed to Lilith. Lilith is the primal core of all emotional sensations and responses. So with Venus opposed to Lilith , you inherently can feel everyone’s emotional state. this aspect also gives you a very loving nature and attracts many to you. In addition you have your moon/sun and moon/Jupiter midpoints also opposed to Lilith which shows you are most gracious ,just, sensitive and understanding. These are qualities that just emanate from you and again many are drawn to you for your understanding and opinions. This is an excellent aspect for a teacher as you inherently love to learns and share with others. these midpoints would also increase your empathetic feelings and you are rarely work about your first impressions.
You already have very attractive energies about you and with eros conjunct to psyche you are utterly romantic and idealistic. You almost have a dream world of the ideal mate in your life and this can make you a bit unrealistic as you look for the perfect guy. but this also increases your allure .and with the mars/venus midpoint conjunct to psyche and eros you draw many suitors to you. This likely gives you a attractive appearance but your inner self and your loving nature is also part of you power over guys, not that you use them as you are far too moral to engage in such lower emotions.
But your mars is in a 3/20 harmonic to venus, this shows that in spite of all the very favorable relationship energies you have, you actually have a degree of difficulty when ti comes to relating one on one.it is not your fault but this aspect shows a need to be intimately emotionally and mentally involved with you love one, but very often these need for intense intimacy causes tensions, usually because the other feels you are too pushy or that he becomes too pushy. This aspect needs constant reinforcement and intimacy so it may take a bit more time and patience to meet someone that has the same intimacy needs as you do.

You do have some aspects that suggest you have emotional issues from childhood that make you a bit of a recluse or at least make it difficult to be emotional and mentally open as you want.
Nessus is on your ascendant which is a primary aspect of severe emotional restrictions as a child. Mercury is conjunct to Orcus which also can indicate you have repressed or blocked memories from childhood issues .often these blocks are just below the threshold of consciousness and you may feel there are thing that you cannot quite bring into the here and now.

The mercury/orcus conjunction does give you a very deep and profound mind and you often ponder about things such as the meaning of life and such. orcus with mercury and the node can also give ominous dreams, dreams of foreboding sometimes even spirits that have passed over may come in your dreams\

With Sedna opposed to juno and square the node and with your sun/ Jupiter conjunction, family is very important to you as well is well as living in truth. orcus with the node can give past life connections just as pluto can. your need to mother and nurture others is shown by ceres conjunct to mercury and orcus.

rahu

Thank you so much Rahu. This was very special to read what I feel put into words.
 

rahu

Banned
91490
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=85660

here's an example of my reply being deleted.probably because this is a complicated subject

Re: Why do I attract women as friends, rather than lovers?
the reply by hbn 235 shows that there was a reply to hbn 235 that had been deleted.... but not her quote of my second reply.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rahu
:biggrin:
interesting...
I omitted a important dynamic in your future progressions which is chiron is also part of the Uranus/Venus/moon/mercury mix.

chiron brings a "eccentricity" or quirkiness to the emotional /sexual relationship. it can add great instinctual passion and can hook up with hetero or transgender people giving great passion. but chiron also brings a critical and cynical nature especially as it is conduct to mercury.
as to your question, the romantic connection seems overpower by the pure mental;/psychic. chiron speaks it mind so wit women you are very open, maybe too open. this is a volatile opposition and emotional stability is impossible during transits of he node.

that said you also have that moon/Saturn reservation toward women to begin with. as these two conjunctions moon/Saturn and venus/chiron/mercury opp-sun, you have a up and down personality.

this is what is currently going on as the node is squaring this connection/opposition pattern.

the node squares your Saturn on oct 28th at0cap34 .the node squares your Uranus on nov 13 at 29 sag 45. this is the point of maximum physical/mental attraction. of course these symbols can also dhow aggression and emotional differebces, but either way your emotions will take quite a ride.

rahu

I think this period will instigate a analysis of your emotional real needs.


so basically what you're saying is that it's going to be a woman who comes into the picture that will push my emotions to the limits and test me on a karmic level?

as can be seen the entire first post was deleted. this goes on incessantly


https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=83099
why am i loser?

hi reflecktion

you have venus square to pluto. for a woman this can be a difficult aspect as it brings harsh sexual advances toward you. the midpoint is conjunct your sun on the ascendant which could describe your sense of being a "loser" because these harsh emotional energies affect your personality and sense of self.
as you live in a moslem /patriarchal environment these aspects are more destructive because your social structure does not give women any way to express these social sexual powers. you are not treated as a person so much as you are treated as chattel.
you have a strong sexual aura but it is divorced from love, that is you are approached as a sexual object but never with love.

your passive aggressive tendencies are a function of the frustration you have emotionally. this is because your moon is conjunct chiron and square the nodal axis.this shows you are extremely intelligent but you have a very critical, but correct, view of life. within your social structure you have no power and so you can only display your critical insights by passive aggressive dynamic/ the moon/chiron would be your mentally aggressive side and the passive side would be a function of your Neptune square to Jupiter.

as to being a loser, I think it is because of the sexual emotional confusion that the pluto/venus square brings. you tend not to give with the emotional response that your social structure expects from a woman.

rahu
 

rahu

Banned
91544
here is another response of mine that has been deleted. I have put all my responses on a thumb drive so I have the original response that the resident trolls have deleted. if you go to the posters address you will see that all my responses were deleted.but because the poster quoted me you can see the deleted post.this is a on going problem since this site was sold in2012.the new owners who will not identify themselves have unleashed deletions on my reposnses.over 60 % of my responses have been deleted.and even as I post this ,some elements are being deleted immediately especially wen I point out who has to be doing this
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69102&page=3
Hi lion o ness

This composite Is very singular. I haven’t quite seen on like this in a longtime if ever. It shows a relationship that is like pressure cooker, either the moderated heat will create great deeds or you will end up smothering each other. And I can’t really figure out which it will be.
The sun/mercury/snode conjunction is opposed to mars/psyche/nnode. A relationship of destiny to begin with . very strong psychic connection with direct telepathy a times . you both seem to spontaneous make the same movements ,like flying birds turning in unison. There is a spiritual and etheric attraction that is more like the fascination of a puppy love rather than grownups. But at the same time the mars.venus midpoint is opposed to Saturn giving the deeper and practical feeling of the potential of committed love and more. the juno/Jupiter midpoint is conjunct to the node/psyche. So it can seem like a fairy tale marriage is calling you. This affects you particularly intensely as the eros/psyche midpoint is conjunct to juno. The mars/venus midpoint is opposed to Saturn ,again, emphasizing the devoted and committed nature of your feelings. the Saturn/moon midpoint is conjunct the nadir, so once again, commitment and devotion underlie the base of the relationship
This shows a almost unbearable romantic sentiment but with the promise of stability , commitment and marriage.
Venus is opposed to the moon and sextile to mars giving a affection that is constant and supportive with the sun/venus midpoint square to Saturn ,again bring a safe sense of trust in love.
Sun and mercury is sextile to Saturn and opposed to mars so all practical matters are harmonious between you. This bodes well economically as your actions are always on point and ,again, your movement are in total harmony.
The pressure builds up because the sub is quintile to Saturn and biquintile to the moon and Pluto.
The sun/moon midpoint is conjunct Saturn. Here,for the nth time, the focus of the entire relationship is on support and productivity. But if you actions are not in total unisonce ,then you will grate against each other and push and pull instead of progress. this places him as a point of resistance and direction. It he will lead and order, but if his ego structure forces submission of your will and spirit, then the tensions will build for explosion as Saturn is opposed to Uranus. This square is one of the few that can end a relationship by itself. It shows confrontation and obstruction between you. It can show external changes that affect the relationship. events that you have no control over.
Usually the quintiles, especially as seminal as the quintiles are here, would show a relationship broken by the inability to reconcile each other uniqueness without personality conflicts. the quintile is so reflective of personal uniqueness that it is very difficult for two people to combine the different personalities. But here there are so many loving, productive and energetic dynamics, that great deeds could be accomplished .
With Uranus square to the moon/Saturn midpoint ,opposed to the venus/sun midpoint and square the mars/venus midpoint, there exist that electricity one feels between two lover. An immediate attraction that makes your hair stand on it’s end. This dynamic of Uranus usually is found in brief affairs or one night stands but here ,even with set emotional boundaries, the hot flame of affection burns. As I said have never seen such a combination of potentially explosive emotional reactions, exist in a relationship that has so much stability, affection ,maturity and productivity.
Yet with all these dynamics ,you do not rush like magnets toward each other as there are deep and personal emotions or issues that restrict both of you for now.
The moon is conjunct to Pluto and the mercury/Pluto midpoint is conjunct to Saturn.with moon opposed to venus, the emotional response between you are muted and subdued ,yet deeply sensitive and loving of each other inner most thoughts and emotions are passed over ,the chemistry is aching for a first sign but both of you are restricted by issues from other relationships or emotional uncertainties.
But as you have posted, it seems fate has thrown you together and made the decision that both of you out of love and hesitation could not make.
With the stellium of the moon/Pluto//Jupiter, the environment becomes the workplace. a corporate or higher education intuition is described. And emotional problems between you could have dire effects on your employment.

The mars/Uranus midpoint is conjunct the vertex so he seems to like this individuality and usually this does not bode well for commitment, but there is just so much attractive dynamics this may not be a problems but cautions to never put him in a corner

It seems that since the summer ,the sparks have been flowing
I think in September you started to feel the devoted and nurturing potential he generates.
By December if not sooner the chemistry will take hold and going into the new year, I think all the gates will open and the extreme affection and emotional and physical attraction will overwhelm you both. January and February will tell the tale . if you and he have truly connected the future will entwine you both together, but it remains to be seen if the personal magnetism with hold through the satiation of the passions.
rahu

this entire response was deleted by the moderators.it can only be moderators or the owners because because this is systematic. and only my responses that are intricate and comphrensive are deleted. they leave the mundane responses intact.clearly the owners want to discredit my words
Wow... Thank you for that amazing reading.. You hit on many key elements, that I don't even know where to begin...


First this has been off and on physically for 3 years... Mentally we never stopped.. Even when we broke up, we called each other every single day...
We have misunderstandings, and jealousy and I'm guessing hiding our feelings..
Neither of us will admit our feelings, at the most we both agree we have a special bond.
I won't even admit my deepest feelings... I've told him, I don't want to be with him... Fear I guess....
This is by far the most passionate/intense relationship I've ever had..
The attraction has not in any way faded, between us.... It builds more and more..
But sometimes it's just to hard to handle, I need a mental break... Sometimes I just can't deal. ...
Deep down inside we know each other cares... There is just no doubt..
But how much and at what level is the real question..

As for the pressed cooker/ stability/ smothering..
It's a mix of all 3, we can't not talk to each other, until we have a disagreement, which we don't argue, we just pull away...
Then we go back to talking, never really ending our contact..
The longest we have gone with out speaking is 12 days..
At that point it becomes unbearable to not talk and we then smother each other to make up for the lost time...
It's become very emotionally draining.

Yes we are very much alike... We can read each other, and I do feel the psychic connection... I can feel when he's thinking about me...
I feel like he comes to me in my dreams And talks to me..
Only I never remember what was said, but when I wake up. I feel like he was there talking to me.

At work I gave him my password to my PC, I needed him to do something for me... I told him what it was... He laughed and said I just can't believe it..
I said what... He said that's my exact same password, from the Capitol letters to the numbers...
It was just a random word with numbers, having no specific meaning to him, us or the company...
Yet he choose the exact random word and numbers as his password...
That was really weird...

We for sure have the push/pull effect.. We we disagree it's not because of an actually argument or disagreement.. It's cuz the other didn't have time..
Example today, I was only in the office for 5 mins today..
I called him after work, but he refused to speak to me, cuz where was I all day..
Why didn't I stay longer, call him, text him...
But I understand where he's coming from, so it doesn't bother me.. He will get over it.. He knows why I couldn't call him, but he was just worried...

Rahu
Are there other asteroid I should look at?
Also when u say you haven't seen a composite like this, is that a bad thing?
The only thing I know for sure, is how deeply I'm affected by this one person..
Do you agree this is a past life connection?

During the summer, we talked about getting back together, but it didn't happen.. I pulled away for most of the summer, still talking to him, but keeping it brief..
Yes by sept we started talking more, then in October we are now sharing an office for the rest of the year
(The outside, out of our control forces)
That's bringing us closer again.,.
hi lion o ness
this composite has been on my mind all night. there is just something about it that gnaws at me. i try not to be judgemental especially when i can not really understand the dynamics. but after sleeping on it , i have to come out agianst this relationship.
i reason is that the quintile pattern is one of manipulation on the deepest levels of a chart, sun.moon.satrun.pluto. but pluto and saturn are particularly domineering and controlling. so you are being manipyulate at a very deep level.
2 you two are now thrown together at work. this smells to me. it is like he has been trying to trap you but you have retained your individuality so far, so you are now placed where he can wear you down.
the nodal conjunction can show a past karma but this does not mean it was a good karma. all the symbols for a romantic, loving marriage..... your biggest dream...are being elicted. the nodal conjunctions can be ethereal and but the quintile pattern of domination is omni present and oppressive.
this charts smacks of magic but it is black magic of subjugation and manipulation.
the uranus aspects will make it impossible to resist him in jan or sooner. but the relationship will not become what you dream of. the more i look more it is clear that he wants to break your spirit(and maybe your profession).... then he will be gone.

there is too much weirdness for you to take him seriously as a spouse.
things are not adding up for a positive outcome for you.

Rahu
Thank u...

I've tried in so many levels to pull away, ever time I do "something" happens where it's impossible.... Just like us now sharing an office for the rest of the year..
He doesn't ask anything if me per say, just he wants to maintain the friendship or the bond, maybe due to an ego boost is my thinking.
I don't know....
I know I'm blinded here, yes I'm so stuck..

I don't know how to get away, it's been impossible...
Finding a new job would be about the only thing... But I've been with the same company almost 19 yrs and I've worked my way up the ranks, I don't think I would be able to get something...

Inside I feel like this is the best/ worst thing I've ever had to deal with...
It's tortured my entire being...
 
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rahu

Banned
91622

https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=121896
Would appreciate some perspective on this chart

QCf81Na.gif




hi alimal

Saturn square to Pluto is one of the abusive aspects there the midpoint of the square is conjunct to the node which intensifies the abusive aspect.
in addition the mars/mercury midpoint is also square to the bode and the pluto/Saturn midpoint. this adds environmental aspect and could shows males in general, have abused you or siblings/brother in addition to the Saturn/Pluto father evidence.

on hidden abilities, I would look at the mercury/moon midpoint square to Uranus and venus.this would make you very creative...poetry,songs,lyrical writing. this pattern can also shows strong psychic abides and it can show that visions come to you in dreams and in real life.so I would say your psychic and mediumistic.

rahu



Very spot on, thank you, I appreciate the reply
 

rahu

Banned
91673
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/008310.html
hi LunaIscariot

kinda weird the tie at saskatoon can be read two ways ,i hour apart. so apparently that area went by two different times zones.

any way what happened when i recalculated the chart at astro.com......i got two different composites, different by 2 degrees of the moon.

first of you hard hot and heavy over him. essentially you wha to jump is bones with named asterios for jasmon conjunct to mars and eros and square to orcus. very sexual attraction.
\
this may be awkward for you becuase the synastry shows the steph/jasmon asteriods opposed and square the node in his chart and steph square to venus and jasmon conjunct jupiter in you natal.

i say awkward because your natals shows a true affectionate interest for the most part.

i suggest going very slowly even if he start to come around more frequently.

the composite Saturn is conjunct steph and opposed to psyche. so again , e seems to be romanticall7 infatuated with your.

eris is square to venus which helps alot because he sexual energy though enhancing existing measures, is much more emotionally affected.orcus and mars sex is quite instinctual and can be cold and domineering.but eris/venus are quite emotional and joyous if jealousy and selfishness does not take over.

jupiter sextile to Saturn /steph and trine to psyche suggest he is contemplating a concerted effort with you.

do not push an emotional requirements on him now , i don't mean to be rude but i noticed aspects in your chart that suggest you have wiles and ways to future your relationship. i am saying he does need at pushes, there seems to be a sincere love in him.


that’s funny tho is I’m actually not sexually attracted to him at all lol, like I don’t feel we really hahat’s funny tho is I’m actually not sexually attracted to him at all lol, like I don’t feel we really have any chemistry... but I do get along with him very well and I really enjoy talking to him and we’re very compatible as people etc.
But the attraction part on my side isn’t really there even though he’s super into me lol

I am definitely taking it slow, we’ve only hung out a couple times and idk if I want to pursue anything more relationship wise because of the lack of attraction I feel in that way, but we’ll see what happens [FONT=&quot]��[/FONT]

Thanks again [FONT=&quot]❤[/FONT]ve any chemistry... but I do get along with him very well and I really enjoy talking to him and we’re very compatible as people etc.
But the attraction part on my side isn’t really there even though he’s super into me lol

I am definitely taking it slow, we’ve only hung out a couple times and idk if I want to pursue anything more relationship wise because of the lack of attraction I feel in that way, but we’ll see what happens [FONT=&quot]��[/FONT]

Thanks again [FONT=&quot]❤[/FONT]

What’s funny tho is I’m actually not sexually attracted to him at all lol, like I don’t feel we really have any chemistry.

that makes sense because the orcus/mars square is very agreessively male and unemotional. this might show that his intentions are not as noble as i thought i.e. he may just be into you for sex.
 

rahu

Banned
91856
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=85287


the composite has Uranus on the descendant. this gives a very psychic connection to the relationship ,mental intensity and exciting conversations but overall it is not good for a serious relationship as it is vey unstable.
here the node forms a sextile to Uranus which would stabilize the relationship and make the psychic /mental connection easier to understand and integrate.
as lilth is also conjunct to Uranus, these intense feeling and astral/mental impressions are at heheart of the relationship, but again the instability of Uranus makes a serious relationship very problematic as there is little impulse for commitment.


with the stellim of venus/sun and mercury, the relationship is very optimistic and loving. there is laughter and really good feelings for each other. Jupiter is square to this stellium which increases the pleasure of each others company and shows a active social life. this is a very favorable pattern overall as venus and Jupiter
the problems start wit the tsquare of mars square the Saturn/Neptune opposition. this shows him to be totally untrustworthy , deceptive and unfaithful. and Neptune shows alcohol /drugs a likely problem. it is possible that the relationship revolved around these issues and as such there was little sincerity ,even though a great attraction existed.

the Neptune/Saturn square is extremely unfavorable in a composite as it shows secrecy and deception. this pattern also implies that you have issues that make it very difficult to see the real person before you. this is an aspect of self deceptions well as overt deception .with the moon conjunct to pluto ,your issues have to do with trusting and open communication(which is hard for you)
wit moon trine to Saturn, you actually got along very well and the tensions did not at firs cause problems . but trines and sextiles do not counter act hard squares or oppositions as are in this chart.

with chiron on the ascendant opposed to Uranus, there were times of intense mental connections. great knowledge and inspiration passed between you but in the end, arguments arose between you beliefs, that is you have very different ideas on some subjects that was not clear from the beginning because of the underlying deception from him.
 

rahu

Banned
91901
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/008269.html
[FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]Topic: How Bad Is This?

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[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]hi CuriousVthe node with the sun definitely gives the sense of "karma: because this aspect can show a different reality seems to develop arou you when togeterr.it can feel like an energy thing between you and often friends will note how significantly you affect others bt your "closeness".it gives a subtle psychihc sense with shows by having similar intuitions about matters.you know where conversations are going etc.
I don't get optimistic feelings at all. the sun/moon midpoint square to Uranus which does bode well for longevity. initially very exciting bit unstable.
the moon triune to Saturn does give a steadiness. but hard aspects can affect this trine such as the pluto/Saturn square. this is particulary difficult because the orb is only 4 arc seconds which mans it is very powerful and will be one of the aspects that affect the destiny of the "relationship".
this aspect is extremely cold and distant. it shows the male to be preoccupied nd selfish.this aspect could be considered "bad" but with the sun/venus midpoint opposed to Saturn and square to pluto , there is clearly a domineering dynamic by him

Jupiter is square to the node and the sun which is can be a marriage indicator if there are other emotionally sustain aspects.
here venus us trine to Jupiter so the are attractive feelings between you. though these aspects can show a friendship or workplace companion by themselves.in addition moon is semi quare to venus giving a lively emotional connection, though a little rough at times.this aspect needs onstant attention to keep the loving feelings intact.
the tsquare of moon/mercury/Neptune can be
problematic as it can show deception and holding back feelings. it tends to also
give vibrancy to the mental connection, Neptune can be very opaque at times .the mars/venus mid[point is opposed to chiron. this is very difficult. if the relationship hadmany loving and supportive aspects then it might show as a itimate desire to know each other hearts inside and out.to know each others responses.
but her there is adverbial feeling. marsis square toUranus which show he has astrong will and independence .
wit these influences he will be more likely to criticize you... for your good.it could
evolve into attacking your self worth.
I don't see a supporter here ,I see a user.the Jupiter square to node and sun now takes on more significance as a marriage may
be in the parrying between you.
with mars square to Uranus and moon aspected with Saturn. I get the feeling he is younger than you and
it seems he is pushing for a marriage.
Jupiter whether it is a marriage or not, Jupiter square to the node is suggestive of financial substance.and this is part of the relationship dynamics.


[FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]Thank you and everyone else for giving me your insights regarding our synastry...doesn't seem that it will be going anywhere, he has too many unresolved emotional issues and I am already starting to see the familiar patterns that I had to deal with in other men before, and this time I am not willing to do that. Thankfully, I am not emotionally invested in him at this point. Thanks again to all![/FONT]

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rahu

Banned
91952
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/008121.html

[FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]he thing that first sticks out is the really loving mental connection you have with him. mercury is trine that node which shows many common interest and with the moon/Venus and sun/Venus midpoints conjunct to mercury, a always happy and laughter fill time together. you two can spend hours just talking about things in general and never grow tire of your company or conversation.there are some intriguing aspects here. the vertex and square to Lilith and the ,midpoint is opposed to Saturn. and mars is square the node.
generally , he seems to be the focus of the relationship. the vertex/Lilith aspects suggest that you feel some type of "magical" or otherworldy connection with him. you both seem to have similar heart felt ideas and thought about life in general.
with Saturn septile to mars and the midpoint conjunct to neptune, he seems to have a "unusual" attraction. though he might be quiet type, he still becomes involved in unusual experiences. he has a hidden side that few see as he doesn't open up to just any one. he is a bit of a mystery to most people . but his seemingly hard exterior surrounds a very sensitive and flexible mind.
but with you , he is always open and excited.
the Uranus/Saturn midpoint is conjunct to juno which gives confusing feedback about a serious romantic relationship as he seem to vacillate between his need for solitude and the need to express himself to you.
the moon is trine to Saturn which gives a underlying stability to your relationship, it doesn't seem you could do anything to upset each other. but you must watch out for emotional complacency, which means you are so comfortable together that you might take each for granted.
juno is square to Jupiter and the midpoint is conjunct to mars which is a favorable aspect fo a serious relationship .
Saturn opposed to the vertex/Lilith midpoint is difficult to call as ti could show a great depth of devotion or it could show hetends tobe alone.the part of fortune opposed to satrun suggest the more positive manifestation of these two possibilities.
the Saturn/pluto midpoint is square to mercury and the other midpoints which suggest that though there is an element of great joy between, he has periods when he need separation. it may be that even when you and he are having a great time,he can lapse into a unexpected silence or emotional distance.
Jupiter is square to Uranus which is unfavorable as it usually shows a relationship that will not last. Often the need for emotional independence is stronger that the need for companionship.
these feelings are reinforced by the mars/pluto midpoint being conjunct to the Uranus/juno midpoint and square to Jupiter as well as opposed to chiron.
the node/vertex/lilith energies are very strong but these energies are often difficult to integrate into a relationship because they can bring karmic or unfathomable feelings into the relationship. the energies here are almost too other worldly feeling to fit into the compromises and routines that make up a "normal" life together.
there is something magical here but I am not sure you will be able to put it in a bottle
smile.gif



[FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana], I am amazed, you are really so talented - you have managed to succinctly express the crux of my main worry about this connection. I will absolutely ruminate over the points you have made and regard our love as it is - not what it has to be. Of course one wants to hear only the best and most long-lasting insights about a love relationship - and that it will remain loving and solid for decades
biggrin.gif
but your points resonate so deeply. I hope this relationship brings us many lessons and moments of joy, and I hope it ends without bitterness or regret when/if it becomes unsustainable.
Sincerely, thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it. Hope it comes back to you as time spent with loved ones.
[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]As always, I welcome any other insights and readings. I want to keep understanding this chart. Thanks everyone!
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rahu

Banned
92069
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/008275.html
Composite with a professor

my first reaction upon seeing the sun/mercury conjunction opposd to uranus was that this will be very succssful as this pattern reflects technical genius. it show high levels of deductive reasoning and training.
but on second thought,after reading through you post again, there seems to be a danger that you will have to acquiescence to everything he espouses.
The point being this opposition is a trigger for arguments. so you must look ahead and understand his mindset so that you don't suggest viewpoints that he instinctively opposes.
with the moon forming a T square with this opposition, the potential for contentious words is strong.
ok ....I have to flip it out there...... eris conjunct to jupiter shows a sexual attraction from a authority figure or teacher. so now he is subconsciously being affected by these feelings.
the Saturn/pluto ,midpoint is opposed to the Jupiter/eris conjunction.
"Houston"we have a problem.
the chart has fallen into to a red flag .
Pluto/Saturn are also very authoritarian. so your educational/business environment
is extremely hostile.
unfortunately with pluto square the vertex this selfish viewpoint will being implemented into your relationship with him. so" I have a have a bad feeling about this ,Luke"
this look like a situation that ,as you say,means so much about your future,but you will forced to do everything...EVERYTHING he wants you to do.
I'm sure you are recoiling right now...." no. no,no thim".
why not him? because Sedna is conjunct venus, and these are square the node.
this is a very strong emotional/physcial attraction with venus alone.together with Sedna there is a almost chivalric worship of truth in social and emotional connections.
this pattern shows devotion of emotional truth to each other..
so not only is jupiter conjunct to eris but with venus sand the node square the emotional and sexual passions are unmistakeable.so it's not a one way street.
question 1. is he married?
opinion 1. it is not advisable to get into a serious relationship with a superior whether in education of professional environments.
a unfortunate aspect for you is that pallas is conjunct to psyche...bad because the joy and growth and empowerment you feel because of him, will shield you from seeing what is taking place.
as hard as I look trying to find a silk lining, only images of caution popup.
mars is conjunct lilth and opposed to ixion.
this shows he has the desires of control and violence in him,or that these martial aspect are brought out in him in this relationship.
and the eros/psyche midpoint is opposed to pluto and square to nessus.. this is an aspect of master and submissive. there is no doubt now that he plans to take advantage of you, as he already is fore seeing these actions.
the sun/moon midpoint is conjunct to Jupiter, so he is hoping to arrange a union with you. ironically ,these symbols could also represent the workplace/education place.so your energies on this level could be very successful.
it is just that financial reality is not the priority with him.
if you reject his advances... good bye career. if you accept his advances, you lose yourself identity.
I just hope there is a strong peer review group for your sake.

[FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]Hi thank you for your input. The red flags sounds quite alarming and scary, I’m still trying to process them. Before your insights I was worried if I am up to the expectations he might have about my work, because he seems quite exigent and currently my team didn’t give an exactly positive image. I’m a programmer and our development team is working for the professor’s project. Our boss is his friend. The professor is also from my university and masters degree course.
Despite all these factors I took the risk to propose him to be my masters degree dissertation supervisor because I wanted to research on the current project which is not only interesting but also allows me to reconcile my professional project with my studies.
But I would not be coerced to do anything in order to save my job. I’m lucky that being a programmer I can find a job anywhere. If I can’t finish my masters degree there is always a next year or time.
But I will definitely be aware and try to remain strictly professional and academic. We won’t be meeting much in real life so it makes it easy to remain safe. We are also both married. I definitely agree that relationship with superiors is not good, married or not.

[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]Knowing about these potentials is hard but I will definitely be careful. Thank you again for pointing these out![/FONT]
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rahu

Banned
92218
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=121907

Looking for insight - Obsessional fears and scary thoughts

Hi AbbeE

While taking your chart in ,idid notice two layers to your chart. One like you describes,” I had started to believe I was actually a very good, compassionate, strong, intuitive person”, and a another pattern which is a much darker,deeper and malicious structure

Your moon is sextile to the Jupiter/chiron conjunction, sextile to the juno,Lilith,pluto conjunction as it is trine to mercury conjunct Sedna and is also trine to neptune so you have atight grand trine with moon, mercury and neptune.

This patterns embodied your sense of
“ goodness”.mercury conjunct to Sedna gives a priority to truth in all dealings. sextile with the moon, these give a excellent mind and memory as well as compassion. As moon/mercury are also sextile to Jupiter and chiron, your mind is now marked by excellent deductive and critical abilities. As juno is also part of this sextile pattern, your mind is actually quite brilliant intellectually in addition to having a strong moral vein with the influence of Neptune and Sedna. Actually I have to describe your overall mental abilities as brilliant. You memory is very acute and you understand the large patterns of life , law and society as well as the intimate and personal interactions of mind andmatter. you understand the large patterns in life as well as the intricacies of personal thoughts ,actions and ambitions.

With the mercury/venus midpoint conjunct to psyche you have such a sparkle and humor about you. But as orcus is square to psychic then it may be that at times when you were feeling joy and love, that dark depressive boding clouds come over you. it may be in general that you are afraid of joy because every oftens dark thoughts follow. These would be because of orcus’s influence on you.

Quite frankly, you have very executive abilities and have many indications of a highly function member of educated society.

The darker side of your chart seems to be related to family and it is here that your excellent qualities seem to have been distorted.

Juno is conjunct to Lilith and pluto and opposed to Sedna. So immediately with juno/pluto opposed to Sedna, there are indication that essential family/heritage truths are being hidden or distorted. Lilith might be thought of as you primordial emotional center…. That is Lilith is the material with which all other emotional sensational and rhythms of your body are derived.
So liltih is often the connection between subconscious and unconscious dynamics in your personality…. But rising into your personality.
Junoand Lilith is aspect of strength.it gives wisdom and understanding while imopartinf=-g a constructive lust to life. Pluto here can be problematic as it means that much of your subconscious and being activated by unconscious parts of your mind. Pluto ruling death and radical transformations and change can give the feeling of fear.so you do have a unconscious source of fears potentially. Here with juno,these uncertainties are tied into to heritage and family.juno represents the grandmother the so she may have already passed over, and/or she could have been a strong influence on you.

But the opposition of pluto to Sedna is very problematic because you are a personal of truth and integrity and have grown up with these priorities in you ideas ,words and actions. So it is as if there is a significant “family” falsity that wouldmake mockery of your beliefs if revealed.

So it may be a first sign of mental weakness would be the inability to live up to your own standards.
But do not take this statement as a personal indictment of you….. it is not… but it is allusion to looking behind the scenes of the family dynamic to find the source of your tension rather than place this tension on you and you alone. It is not any imperfection in your body,mind or spirit but rather the source of you weakness is from the shadows and indiscretions inherent in your families heritage.

Specifically the dark,fear generating forces are incestual in nature. The dark patterns in your chart that cause you to doubt your own brilliance begin with orcus conjunct the south node and square to psyche. Orcus is a twin of pluto and with the nodal axis with orcus canbe an aspect of abuse. Here psyche is square to orcus and the node with specifically is a danger of sexual abuse at a very young age. I suggest this is your situation because when abuse beginning in infancy, then it is very difficult to remember such experiences .but there can be a undefined
fear” of life . this forms because the brutality of sexual assault with qualify the ability to open and receive love if the abuse is regular.it the abuse is severe , then psychosis can develop and adissociate personality pair can develop

I come to this position partially because your fear is that you are a bad person capable of murder etc. what has happened is you have adopted the personality of your abuser. You abuser is the one with the potential to murder. And out of the fear of dying ,your mind adopted the identity of the murderer.

Another specific aspect that points to these dynamics is the mars opposed to nessus. This is a sexually abusive aspect. This indicates that not only was there a primary abuser but that you have also been abuses by peripheral males. That is brother,friends or uncles in addition to..your father. This aspect can be evil and could engender the fear for your life.

The Saturn/orcus midpoint is conjunct your ascendant and opposed to venus on the descendant and the mars/psyche midpoint is also conjunct to venus.

This pattern shows that you area amazingly loving and romantic.you draw many people to you…many suitors, but also many people who are enchanted by your grace and goodmess.
But with Saturn/orcus opposed to Venus, you emotional and physical “charms” attracted the dark emotions to you at a very young age.

Usually if someone has be subject to abuse to the degree your chart shows then they often will develop some form or autoimmune disorder.
You char has a few other aspects focusing on abuse, but now you need to figure out how to adapt to your situation.

You mention these disorders have returned. This would make sense because orcus/

The problematic orcus/node square to psyche and venus/mercury midpoint was recently transited by the node, so for the present, we might be able to draw a correlation between you recent shadows and this pattern.

The north node transited you orcus and south node from The May 3 to may 17th. This should have been the time when fear came back to you ad you doubted your own value.
Though with mercury opposed to pluto last December. So it maybe that you dark moods began then but reached their most emotional in

The node was square to your satrun/orcus midpoint and square venus from may 21 to may 23, so this could have been somber also because in some ways you are experiencing those negative energies now.
I ve put out a bit for you to mull over.
One last reminder is that all transits pass… time goes on… one in never trapped forever. So you might not understand what is happening now but you will

love
rahu



Wow Rahu...thank you so much for taking the time to write all that. That's a whole lot of information, and so thorough. I appreciate it.

I just re-read the end of your last comment and got chills...I had my first serious 'episode' of all this back last December, then another one in May, and again recently. They were the three major points this year, exactly as you described. I had my chart read professionally once but she only mentioned good things (which was nice, and beneficial at the time), but no one has ever explained these more detailed aspects. I felt triggered and apprehensive, but also a strong motivational energy. As if I see now there is more beyond these current mental states, like I'm maybe not so restricted. Hard to explain, but thank you again. This has given me something to think about.




hi again AbbeyE

I hoped you would have some feedback a these topics can be very difficult to open up to.

your father's suicide is suspect. by that I mean his suicide would make sense if he had been treating you abusively and someone found out.

the periods I pointed out were part of the cycle of abuse. since these periods affected you, it makes me think there are abusive experiences in your past.

as I mentioned ,I feel you were abused at a very early age . probably before your personality/consciousness formed. hence you can't remember consciously what happened but you still obviously have emotional reaction to this abuse. regression therapy is an intellectual process so experiences in your pre conscious life may not be accessible. also did you go to a psychiatrist? psychiatrists are the worst counselors to go to for sexual abuse problems because their "dogma" down plays sexual abuse.

I have had several clients with severe sexual/incestual abuse. I'd like to describe one case as it might jog your memory.

one client who was very close to me, also could not remember any instances of sexual abuse with her father.but she is a brilliant woman and did have some odd childhood memories that she could never figure out.

the first was when she was about 18 months old......she remembered looking a her raggedy ann doll with stiches for eyes. and she remembers thinking how sad it was that her doll was dead. obviously the first thing that she wondered about was how she as a 18 month old infant would have ideas of the concept of death to begin with. but she clearly remembers thinking this while in her crib.

sexual abuse and death are often closely related if the victim has no other way of escape.18 months is quite early but I also have memories of when I was 18 months old. I think a strong chiron/mercury aspect can give one access to very early memories in life.

she always was afraid of her father though she had no memories as to why,but it was so severe that her mother gossiped to in laws as to why she feared her father who did not outwardly show hostility.her mother had no idea why she feared her father either. I felt this was a block her mother had....that is ,never acknowledging that there was something amiss with her husband and never wanting to upset the boat so to speak as he was very wealthy.

she also was a cutter, cutting slices on her arm. this can be a sign of abuse. she also engaging in stabbing action to her stomach. she never cut herself there but clearly remembers as a child acting out stabbing herself many times. this action can also indicate sexual abuse because of the penetrating motion directed at their selves.

I asked when she stopped fearing her father and she did not remember but even up to the time we were counseling, she said she was uncomfortable with him until they had a drink or two.
she had a alcohol problem that when back to childhood when she would get drunk with her father. it was clear to me that the sexual acts always occurred when she was a drunk and hence contributed to the lack of memory.

just aside, I have found that alcohol is very often associate d with sexual abuse/incest.i worked with non practicing alcoholics almost exclusively for 10 years and in that time 90% of the women in AA also had sexual abuse histories.

she came to me at 28 years of age and still had no memories even after is pointed out the aspects in her chart.

it was "funny" because though she never remembered any abuse, she did not disregard the possibility . one reason was that many people had noted throughout her life , a "strange" connection between her and her father.
and she actually researched nessus which has become a signature symbol for abuse and found that nessus was conjunct her sun.

interestingly previous to the time I met her, her father had recently told her top get a life.....that is she was at his house all the time and her father's girl friend did not like her around him.

I'd say tragically, after her father broke up with his girl friend, she started getting drunk with him again and staying over night on the "couch" at his house.



rahu


incest in infancy are the most difficult cases to deal with .
but also the most destructive to the personality, as in your situation, because the negative feelings don't seem to have a rational source.

the biggest problem comes with relationships. very often because of the displaced sense of love, relationships become very difficult in one later life because ,very often one becomes involved with abusers because one has a blind spot for these types of men.


I would suggest finding a counselor who specializes on abuse victim psychology.
a counselor may be able to elucidate what aspects of your personality reflect abusive experiences.

I also wonder if you have had autoimmune diseases, because this is very typical of abuse survivors whether conscious or not.

I realize I might have opened a can or "worms" butfeel free to contact me if you have any ideas of questions.


as these transits have impinged on your emotional feeling now, i looked back to see the last time these transits acted exactly.this period is in march 2000. that is the transits are the same now as then. i would think that there would be a significant emotional experiences as the transits affected you now. but blocked memory is also possible.






May was a very difficult time, especially around those dates. I'm very interested (and also a little scared) about the abuse you mention. As far as I'm aware I was never abused, however, I always said to my Mum I had characteristics of someone who was - sexually confused/uncomfortable, intrusive thoughts of this nature, fear of life in general from an early age. I always felt quite guilty of that because I've done regression therapy and have no recollection of any abuse. There is one vague suspicion of one occasion, but again, just a feeling rather than facts, and my imagination has a tendency to run wild.


My father died by suicide when I was 8. He suffered from the same obsessional fears, depression, and had a huge guilt complex, from the sounds of it very similar issues to me. He would be the last person, I think, to have been sexually abusive in any way - do you think the chart aspects suggests father specifically in relation to this, or is it family males in general? I don't keep in contact with any of my family since we moved after he died, except my Mother and siblings.



This has given me a lot to consider, and also shone a light on some other things I need to look at in time that I'd forgotten about. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your interpretation, it's very kind.
 

rahu

Banned
92282

https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=62849


hi honeymilk
the composite shows a venus/sun conjunction giving a loving feel to the relationship , but as you noted, the saturn/pluto conjunction opposed to venus/sun usually tempers the attraction.this can give a powerful animal attraction but it also shows a deep selfishness and emotional distance in a chart.

your concerns about mars squar eto saturn/pluto are also valid as this shows him to be self centered and distant.the mars/astrun midpoint is square to uranus which shows he is not into a serious or committed relationship.

with neptune on the ascendant, there are hidden issues here and the relationship is compicated. with the saturn/neptune midpoint opposed to the jupiter/mercury/chiron midpoint, the likelyhood of deception is very strong.the mercury stellium does give a very strong mental/intellectual connection, but opposed to saturn/neptune , there is a secretive and possibly deceptive element here. likley he does not really tell you want he think.

with these many "harsh" aspects, the "crazy attraction" you feel is confusing until one enters a few more symbols into the composite.
mars is square to the eris\psychen opposition. this fits the bill as this shows a ultra romantic,idealistic attraction plus an extreme powwerful sexual attraction.between these symbols , the "crazy" attraction " is clear.but eris square to mars,though extremely sexual, is that extremely sexual with little chance that a truly romantic love will developed.this is complicate as lilth is part of this tsquare as it is conjunct to pluto. this shows that these sexual/emotional feelings .with the sun/moon midpoint opposed to nymphe, there is a very intuitive connection between you.this can manifest as a overtly psychic connection .but with the mars/neptune midpoint square to ceres , he is unlikely to be faithful to a committed relationship. and as you are separated by 400 miles, i think he has other love interest. this is just not a good aspect for fidelity.coupled with the mars/saturn/uranus influence, it very unlikely this will turn into the type of relationship that the "crazy attraction" would lead you to believe.that is physical intimacy will not turn into devotion and committment. as he is too independent and is not through "playing the field" yet.

you likely will find this analysis hard to accept as the psyche/eros midpoint is square to the sun/sedna conjunction. this enhances the ultra romantic,"spiritual" love you feel with him. and sedna with the sun often emphasizes honesty and truth in a relationship, but the hard aspects of pluto/mars/saturn most often trump the finer,idealistic feelings of love.

you may have first become entranced last fall and the intensity seems to have built up through january of this year. actually in january it would not surprise me if you and actually talked about a serious relationship or at least acted as if this relationship would become committed or even headed toward marriage.
it seems you and he have similar professional careers and likely met in a work or educational related enviroment.

in spite of these dynamics ,it does seem that the attraction between you is growing . if this is a "real" connection the i would expect him to travel to see you in the near future as there are the feelings of attraction and love in a committed manner are growing stronger through july.
at any rate the relationship is not over and as i said ,it will continue to grow stronger inthe near future.but he needs to show up.

Rahu
Last weekend we went away on a trip together and slept together for the first time. He initially made all these romantic promises that he never kept, and after we slept together he became all quiet and distant, other than when we were alone together in the bedroom. It seemed as though he lost romantic interest in me, which I had pegged onto his Aries venus. And now that we are apart in our seperate cities he is saying how he misses me and what not, but there are no declarations of feelings anymore, he only seems interested in sexual related discussions.

He is planning a trip to stay with me in two weeks, we'll see how it pans out. It's all becoming very intense for me, to the point that my heart and stomach hurt, which is strange for someone whom I hardly know, so I'm still looking at that synastric north node activation to explain that part.
 

rahu

Banned
92366

https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=89062

Re: Angsty Teen?
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Im curious if someone would have a look at my ex's daughter's chart whom I felt concerned about throughout our relationship. She was going through the tweeny years and now is entering teenage years which is often a troubling time. However there is an extra sense of something that I couldn't put my finger on exactly.
At times I wondered if she might be sociopathic, as she didn't seem to understand others or have an ability to empathize. She has a grim fascination with horror films and true crime even when she was only 10 years old. She has already had an eating disorder, was cutting herself for a couple of years at age 12

these are clear indication of a abusive, mostly sexual abusive childhood.
with a mercury/sun/Jupiter conjunction this child's spirit is very good, so the treatment she has received has to be very destructive for her to be that way you describe.
her nessus is square to eris, which is a sexually abusive aspect and with mars conjuct pluto /chrion midpoint brother would be the logical suspect, though boyfriends of the mother are also indicated. the venus/eros midpoint conjunct the moon and opposed pluto also placing the mother at the source of risk and also show alynne has a sexual nature that leads to dark and abusive guys.
Neptune is conjunct to lilth which could show a very inspiration and spiritual personality ,especially with the Jupiter/sun/mercury stellium but obviously she has been abused out of these positive feelings and ideals.as it is neptunes position makes her very susceptible to drug addiction and alcohol abuse.
the Saturn/pluto midpoint is conjunct her ascendant, another indication of sexual abuse by an older man , possibly an authority figure as jupiter is opposed to chiron.are her grandparents involved? though if they are I am not sure that would be a plus because the placement of juno and Jupiter indicates sexual abuse is endemic to her family

rahu

Thanks Rahu. Im a new student of astrology so it might be some time before I can truly digest all that you say about the extra planets/asteroids.

I can't say if the girl has been sexually abused. When she was self harming, her mother tried to get her to open up but it went nowhere. She even tried a couple of counsellors but again nothing. I suspect you are right though. She has no grandparents from her Dad's side as she has no contact with that family. And there is no grandfather on her mom's side as there was no father figure there either. History repeats itself. She does have a good relationship with her maternal grandmother as far as I know.

It could have been a boyfriend that the mother was dating in the early years. When you say brother, a thought came to mind. She has no brothers but she has an uncle who is around 2 years older as her grandmother had children for 20+ years. I suppose there could be something there as they grew up together almost as siblings and she has said that she is scared of him, saying he hit her when she was young.

Her mother I know was sexually abused on multiple occasions at a young age though she brushes off and wont talk about it.

as i first posted the symptom of cutting are closely correlated with sexual abuse and other feed back you have given:

.When she was self harming, her mother tried to get her to open up but it went nowhere. She even tried a couple of counsellors but again nothing

they grew up together almost as siblings and she has said that she is scared of him, saying he hit her when she was young.


Her mother I know was sexually abused on multiple occasions at a young age though she brushes off and wont talk about it

is also frequently encounter environmental influences of sexual abuse.

not opening up to counselors is a sign that when she was brought up in a abuser home, no one belived her. and as her mother brushes off her abuse, this shows the mother brushed off alynnes story of abuse. being fearful of the abuser is a common reaction and hitting is often a cover for sexual abuse.

as I first felt, sexual abuse runs through the family is the family is in denial, so alynne has not other choice but to act out these destructive behaviors I na vin attempt for someone to see her predicament.
with the sun/Jupiter/mercury conjunction alynne has a spirit of truth is spite of other challenging aspects, and I can't see evil or lies in her, other tht reactions to the dark environment she is subject to.

Rahu
Thanks to you all for seeing the positive and outlining some ways to view this that encourages healing. I think she is a vibrant girl too, full of many gifts that were more apparent before the angst set in. I don't know exactly know how to proceed with this as I don't really see her any more and rarely talk to her mother. I don't think she will talk to her mom about what is troubling her, they have a tenuous relationship. It definitely is tricky. And she won't do anything she doesn't want to do. We tried to get her to go to numerous different peer groups or classes to get her doing something more wholesome. She won't. Tried 'Big Sisters Little Sisters" too but she just doesn't want anything to do with it.

No, that would be too odd and not probably going to help her much. I don't think I will be able to break through to her now any more than I could when I was around the family. I sent a message to her Mom yesterday to see if she would rethink things and see if she would talk to me about it but there has been no answer. That might mean that she has read it and taken it in but is just not responding. Or it might mean that she thinks its none of my business and has totally rejected it. I don't know.
I never had kids. That's my 5th house saturn I guess. But taking care of and being a part of my partners kids lives over the past few years really made me see how heart wrenching it can be. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be if it were my own flesh and blood.
 

rahu

Banned
92382
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=122138
bf proposing

My bf has been mentioning marriage, engagement especially, and we've been together about a year. There was an instant magnetic connection and it feels right. I am trans, and that is a hurdle we are trying to jump over

hi Runa
the composite chart has the juno/jupiter midpoint opposed to mars which reinforces his desire for a marriage.
but truthfully, there is alot of darkness in the composite chart .
venus is square to pluto. this often shows that sexuality is more important than love in a relationship. it is often associated with very intense sexual attraction but because it is essentially a physical attraction, emotional bonding can be weak or non existent. in this case the sexual intensity can subside and i have seen marriages with this aspect that over the years morphed into celibacy .
there is a very"karmic" feel to this compsite as the venus/pluto midpoint is opposed to liltih and square to the vertex. this is extremely otherworldly. it very often makes you feel as destiny has brought you together.in addition, you both may have had very usually or paranormal experiences in your lives that you could never think anyone would understand.... but you two do understand because you both have had experiences that made you feel your life was fated in some way. this can be a unifying factor because of the usual similarities you have both experienced.

jupiter is opposed to eris which shows the passion with which he has for a committed relationship. this tends to add joy to the relationship but it also bring jealousy into the picture.
 
as the eris/Jupiter opposition is square to the Neptune/Uranus conjunction, the physical passion is really strong and almost "transcendent". the passions can be totally overwhelming and the influence of neptune and uranus can bring supernatural physical sensations.
but this aspect is also highly unstable. it can show sudden passion that does not last even though the "karmic" intensity would make you think this will last for ever.so it can lead to unexpected partings. sometimes this can lead to off and on relationships.
here with the composite moon/sun midpoint square to Uranus and neptune also, the relationship will always have this unreal intensity, but with the possibility of being off and on and the possibility of breakup.
 
with Saturn conjunct to eros and square to pluto,ixion and psyche , there is a very dark emotional dynamic as this is a very domineering and controlling aspect.in addition with eros/square to psyche and pluto square to Saturn, there may be a elements of S/M in the emotional make up,as this pattern shows a interest in the connection between pleasure and pain. though this could relate to the social challenges you have to wade through, because of your unique sexual orientations.
 
rahu

thanks rahu. that transcendent other worldly connection makes me want to marry him. who knows if i will ever find someone who i feel like i've met multiple times in past lives. but we fight sometimes, and those fights are really bad. i always say i can't do it, it's too hard. but then the next day, it's like nothing happened. feels like i am teetering between marriage with this karmic connection, or leaving him so that i can pursue the spiritual path without judgment. the connection makes me feel so loved and lucky.. this is a rare connection.. but i also want to become a vegetarian, and study spiritual texts but i can't really change so much when we live together, eat together, sleep together.. we are still young, in our mid 20's, so the connection pulled us together, and we had a month or two of intense honey moon, then intense fights for a few more months, then we settled into a typical mother-father/husband wife domestic routine for the last like 10 months.. i have lost my sexual drive gradually, so i have avoided sex for a few months. i feel like i have more time to read without the sex drive, but he has to pleasure himself frequently. eventually would this not lead to infidelity? i do feel guilty even though he says it's not a big deal. to leave or not... is a tough decision.

thank you rahu, much prayers to you. i am very grateful


hi again

you noticed of course that i mentioned the loss of sexual desire as one of the pitfalls of pluto.
your situation is turning out exactly as i cautioned.....the sexual chemistry between you lacked emotional bonding... this is why you have lost interest in sex....sex has become divorced from your emotional needs.

you are very striking physically and i have to assume that is the major attraction to you from your BF. but he clearly is in lust for you physically but has no capacity to sincerely love some one for their inner self.

and then with the months of argument and months of reconciliation....this does not seem like a healthy or successful relationship to me.

i would suggest breaking up. but you must be very careful. as i mentioned the composite has aspects that master/submissive dynamics. with pluto and Saturn combined with eros and psyche, the possibility exist for a very dangerous and possibly destructive breakup. my opinion is that from what you have shared, the relationship will not get better.

rahu

Thank you everyone for the support. I have been glazing over the warning signs, and told myself this is my soulmate. Because it feels like it. I told myself the hard times were life lessons, growth, compromise. I think I lost myself a bit. He tells me he does not believe I am real. That I am his living fantasy. But I can see it’s for my physical appearance. Thank you. You are right Rahu. I do need to be careful about breaking up. At first it was just me naturally being submissive, and him gradually becoming more sexually aggressive and idk trying to be an alpha male. And over time it kinda went deeper and deeper. I am at fault as well, since I don’t tell him to stop. It’s kind of like objectively he lost his sexual sanity and became more aggressive and more cocky in his time with me. He has told me about some of the pornography he watches, and some make me blood run cold. Maybe men are like this? Perhaps I over nurtured? I wonder if it was also because of me, since I have really bad boundary issues... thank you so much. time for a change of scenery..
 

rahu

Banned
well it seems the trolls are attacking me again by down grading the number of views I have got.
according to the thread I got 16 views over the last 24 hours.(edit this thread already has 14 views in the last 15 minutes...see what I mwan)
I bring this up because a few months ago his thread actually actually lost about 20 views over night.after I complained, for the next 5 days this thread received 25 views. but on average this thread gets between 40 to 80 views a day. so then the thread started getting 40-80 views again.
the trolls at this site have deleted my post,moved my threads ,post responses in my name that I did not post. altered the wording in threads(always to make me look stupid). once the thread,gun control- Germany,lost 4000 view in one night, because very post had been deleted from about June 2016 until about august 2018. this is a on going campaign against me. meanwhile we are being lead to believe that mindless chat threads, always created by the same2-3 clones are averaging 1000 views per day.... hard to believe that visitors that come here are so interested in mindless balather rather than looking into astrological subjects.
this seems to be the same old message from the trolls.." we can do anything we want to discredit you etc..."

rahu
 
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