The ache of a poorly aspected venus

venus conjunct chiron
venus square true node
venus square ascendant
venus opposite saturn
venus opposite moon
venus sesquisquare pluto
venus opposite uranus
venus semisquare jupiter

All of that, along with my poorly aspected moon, not to mention my 8th house sun in a double T-square, which both involve pluto...

I'm not sure if I will ever feel happy in a relationship. I would love it if anyone could offer me some advice.

Attached, you will find a copy of my natal chart.


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I also have a double T-square with Pluto, and Mars at the apex! I have written several long posts on this board suggesting what to do about it, I will link you if you'd like. I have found a new way to approach these problems in my life and it is working very well, and I'm quite excited about it. Let me know if you want to look into it.

The exciting thing I see in your chart is your midheaven -- your VERY BUSY Venus is right there with Chiron.

What this tells me is that you can get into the public eye or become famous as a result of the healing process. You can show people how to use love to overcome their challenges.

This is a real blessing, though it may take some years to get out in front of it.


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Also, I just looked again and I see that you are approaching your Saturn return. With the opposition on your Moon, as well as the other stressors in your chart, I'm sure you're feeling it.

Pluto is one of my favorite planets, now that I'm learning to understand his gifts. What Pluto is doing for you now is dredging up the things that really, really weigh you down. He's bringing them up now so that Saturn can help you find out who you really are at your core.

Saturn return is a long process, and for many people (including me) a very painful one. I suggest looking into Saturn return, what it means. And keep in mind that your first response is probably to become restless and angry (Mars on the apex) and emotionally destabilized (Moon and Venus on the hot seat).

I would definitely wait to get into a relationship until both you and your partner are on the other side of Saturn return. You will be reviewing the first 1/3 of your life, and receiving your grade. It's like the year-end review we have to do at work. Nobody wants to do it, including the boss. But if you don't sit there and take stock of each different area, compare to needs, goals, and mission, then you can't know if you're on track.

And the final result: You get a raise :)

So don't jump in with anyone until you've both done this process, so you're both on solid ground of knowing exactly who you are and where you're going.

One thing you have in your chart that I absolutely love -- :pluto: :opposition: :jupiter: Pluto in this case is the BS detector. Jupiter wants to build castles in the sky, whereas Pluto is there to demand proof, accuracy, and clarity. Sort of like another Saturn in this configuration. Pluto does not pull his punches. On the other side of this, you will be able to know for sure how to pursue your big dreams in a way that will match up with who you are in the core of your being, at the end of the day. This is glorious, and will truly empower you.

Be patient with yourself, and kind. Treat yourself like a loved one who is undergoing a long growth process and having growing pains. Don't beat yourself up for going through natural changes. This, too, shall pass.

This site is an excellent resource for finding the gifts in your aspects, I refer back to it often and find different things resonating. I like that author (and wish s/he had contact information and a proper book I could buy) because their insights are about turning lemons into lemonade.
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The limited information that you presented as "causing" your dilemma at the moment is such a narrow range of possible information about your life as to considered laughable.

For what it's worth, I disagree 100% with the above. Not laughable at all. You're just someone starting out looking for answers to some painful questions.


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I definitely can relate:
I have Venus square Saturn in the 12th H; fixed= can hit you on the physical level; financial hardships, economic disadvantage, early loss of father; instability; relational hardships and challenge;
for me; also at the apex of a Yod with Moon/Mars; family disruptions and estrangements;
Yes you can defeat the adversities that can be created by your own afflictions, and ultimately find balance and joy in a relationship. Venus equals one's social orientation, ideals and expectations in love; Afflictions can reflect losses caused by a poor self image and insecurities from the past.
[FONT=Andalus, serif]Moon/Venus: emotional disorientation caused by problems of affection in connection with the Mother. These are the challenges set up for you in learning to balance your emotions; what is within, expresses through your outer reality. Still Venus trines Mars, for greater success in relations with the opposite sex. Establishing stability in relationships can be difficult with Venus/Uranus; sudden separations causing upheavals. The bigger problem is really generated through Mars in the 5th at the midpoint of a significant opposition between Sun/Jupiter and Pluto. You will need to understand how this affects your ability to be a balanced partner for others. [/FONT]



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Hi hardtoexplain. Its often interesting to see which quotes people have chosen when looking at their chart and the issues that they bring to their thread. The first quote is interesting particularly because of Mercury (chart ruler) in Gemini exactly quincunx Uranus, and also Venus conjunct Chiron in Gemini at the MC (dependent on accuracy of birth time) - the phrase 'schizoid intellectual activity' is perhaps a fear which you have which is related to the way those parts of your psyche are sometimes expressed.

And there are lots of things in the chart which point to the need to be broad-minded. But there's something about that Sun in Taurus in the 8th house opposite Pluto, with the Sun's ruler so closely conjunct Chiron - something about being afraid that you cannot be who you want to be because something will always get in the way.

But back to your question, and yes it is what one would call an afflicted Venus, this being especially significant because the Sun is in Taurus and Venus is culminating. Its a bit of a cliche, but the first step to being happy in a relationship is to be happy in yourself. With Venus in Gemini, and the Moon in Sagittarius - also the rulers of these signs prominent in the chart (Sun conjunct Jupiter, Mercury in its own sign ruling the ascendant) - it is probably worth you reflecting on how communicating and learning made you feel in childhood. The fixed t square of Sun, Mars, Jupiter and Pluto seems relevant here, too - battles of wills, perhaps, which a part of you thrived on (unless someone was too overpowering) but which the Venus-Chiron-in-Gemini part of you could have done without because this part of you needs to feel understood - that someone is interested in what you have to say.

If you want to respond to anything here, then I can try to say something more relevant to your situation. Perhaps mention any particular dynamics that have come up for you in relationships.

Best wishes,


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Forget about the T-square (9-ish degree loose orbs to Mars) and focus last (not first) on the couple of other aspects you mention that are loose orbed, such as Ven oppo Uran (unless you are currently using astrology to justify some bad feelings about your experiences/behavior).

Rank your aspects by tightness and re-self-label one-by-one starting from the tightest working outwards until significance dissipates (and take advantage along the way of your Moon being bi-quintile from Sun/Jup).

Yes, the Moon oppo Ven is tough and Pluto 135 to Ven adds fuel to the fire (but the "red" triangle normally formed by Moon being semi-square to Pluto in such situation is replaced in your chart by Moon novile Pluto, possibly allowing your Moon a positive Plutonian tool to release some of the 135 and 180 difficulties).

Ven also lies novile to the Sun (your deeper self is not fighting receptivity and vulnerability) and so a fusion rectangle is composed (Ven 135 Pluto parallel to your luminary bi-quintile with noviles sewing up the ends and oppos connecting diagonally).
I want to thank you all for your insight and guidance. I deeply appreciate the thought and time everyone so generously shared with me for your detailed responses. You really hit the nail on the head, miquar, and I am truly grateful for your kind words, Artnunymiss. :)

I think my main venus issue is low self-esteem, which I believe is a direct result of my upbringing and family environment. I was abused verbally, physically, and psychologically, well into adulthood, up until I finally moved across the country for university.

I am a very strong person. I have dealt with it all, done all of the self help work. The books that truly helped me are entitled, "Healing the Shame that Binds You" and "What You Really Want".

I just still struggle with feeling like I'm a worthwhile human being everyday. It really gets to you sometimes.
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I also have a double T-square with Pluto, and Mars at the apex! I have written several long posts on this board suggesting what to do about it, I will link you if you'd like. I have found a new way to approach these problems in my life and it is working very well, and I'm quite excited about it. Let me know if you want to look into it.

I have read your posts, and I will try to use your suggestions. I am definitely interested in your new approach, if you don't mind sharing! :)

But there's something about that Sun in Taurus in the 8th house opposite Pluto, with the Sun's ruler so closely conjunct Chiron - something about being afraid that you cannot be who you want to be because something will always get in the way.

This is spot on. Being open enough to let others see the real me, and not hiding within myself until I believe I am truly perfect, is something I've struggled with all my life. I just don't know how to change.
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Hi hardtoexplain. Thanks for sharing so much. I'll come back on tomorrow to respond as its getting late here now.
I haven't been able to confirm by exact birth time, and I'm unsure how to go about getting it. It is not listed on the paper copy of my birth certificate. I have been told that it's anywhere between 4-430 pm PST.
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Hi. Firstly, on a technical note, the t square is stronger than it looks to be at first glance, because the Sun is very closely sesquiquadrate the Mars/Pluto midpoint.

Its a very powerful configuration, bringing together the two masculine personal planets with Jupiter and Pluto in fixed signs. Given your truly awful experiences throughout your time with your family, it would seem that the road ahead for you is very much about re-empowerment. It sounds like you know this and have already made admirable progress. One thing to watch out for as you continue is that we sometimes shy away from parts of ourselves if early role models have expressed the same types of energy in destructive ways. In this case, it could be that you are reluctant to own the tremendous power which is shown by the t square in case you become more like your father. Perhaps try to be honest with yourself about any traits you have picked up from family members, approaching these parts of yourself with compassion and an awareness of the potential creative energy which can be released from them.

Because of the uncertainty of your birth time (you might be able to get an original copy of your birth certificate with the exact time on) you might have a Libra ascendant. With the rulers of Virgo and Libra both in Gemini, and with Venus conjunct a planet than many astrologers associate with Virgo, it may be difficult for you to know which ascendant is correct from your own experience of yourself. Similarly, if the MC is in watery Cancer rather than airy Gemini, then it is ruled by the Moon in airy Libra.

One way or another, your meridian (mc/ic) axis would seem to say something about your experiences of being parented - with Chiron close to the MC and/or Saturn-Uranus close to the IC. Until you find a more accurate birth time, it might be worth you casting a chart for 4:15. It might also be worth casting a relocated chart to see how it looks now that you've moved across the country. To do this, be sure that the Moon remains exactly where it is in the original natal chart by keeping the UT the same - only the house cusps, and the house placements of the planets, should move when relocating a chart.

Its great that you have a friend who understands something of your past, and who values your friendship because you can understand hers. I wonder if it would be worth you joining a support group so that you can find other similar support while you find your feet socially. I'm very glad that you moved so far from your family, and hope that you're enjoying your university course. As you heal and grow, try to keep reaching for more and more of the huge amount of power shown in the chart - this will also the people around you, because you will have become adept at the art of re-empowerment and will be able to support others in their quests to follow a similar path. Try not to ever settle for just trundling along simply because its a lot better than complete disempowerment. Even if your power expresses very 'quietly' try to feel it coursing through you, because that power-laden being is who you truly are.