I've read quite a bit about it and I feel it contributes to me feeling as if I don't understand who I am. I've always deeply identified with the Cancer in me but other people often interpret me as put-together and even cold - though this could relate to my ascendant in VirgoYour sun at an aneretic degree. I don't "hate" it, but I heard it can be difficult.
You've better study your chart yourself and read a couple of good Astrology books.I'm quite intrigued with what placements/aspects you see being notable/difficult/strong in my chart.
Just found that! That coldness is related to Moo opp Saturn, as there seems to be an issue of trust to open up and express your feelings. There can be an issue accepting criticism, which appears harsh on you, you cannot put up with restriction/obligations imposed by others-which affects your relationships-. Having it in 2nd/8th polarity may increase your ambitions to achieve financial security, be independent, self-reliant, however, the challenges to overcome seem quite high to me too.I've read quite a bit about it and I feel it contributes to me feeling as if I don't understand who I am. I've always deeply identified with the Cancer in me but other people often interpret me as put-together and even cold - though this could relate to my ascendant in Virgo
I wish to thank you for your courageous response.@IRIS70 Thank you. All of what you've mentioned is in line with my own research/recent reading by an astrologer. I posted this wondering if anything more can be gleaned... but it seems like the Moon-Saturn opposition + Sun-Neptune opposition seem to be the main inner workings for my psyche . Yes, my mother was enmeshed and my father was emotionally absent. I had quite the emotionally tumultuous childhood and it made me a very lost, cold person. Thankfully, I am working on a lot of this in therapy already and my mental health has never been quite "bad" to the point where I needed serious help.
I think what entirely frustrates me most with all of this is that when I'm alone, I feel that I know who I am, but as soon as I am around other people, I feel totally at the whim of the group. Which makes me double-down and put up those walls even more. Even writing this out right now makes me want to scream 😬
Anyways, this is all to say that I am really focusing and working on myself right now. It's depressing, hard, and emotional work, and sometimes it feels like there is no end in sight.