Synastry question

[Aruilly]

I recently met this girl. At first we got along great even if we some times seemed to get a lil angry with each other but then it seemed we were growing close quite quickly and it was starting to feel creepy cause it was rather fast but I didn't do anything. So eventually, she kinda shuts me off, where before we were laughing all of a sudden she was always having this poker face around me and I felt this rather cold feeling around her. But Im pretty sure I didnt do anything nasty to draw that reaction (heh, a miracle) I tried fixing it (virgo thing ) but heck it seemed the sweeter I was the colder she got. Hence I thought time to leave the boat, cause its getting no where that's when the problem began Im friking great at cutting off emotionally and moving on, but with this girl I can't! I distanced myself somewhat, we study at the same class so i started hanging out with other ppl but she came after me and then i felt guilty I was mentally screaming with myself that I was such a ***** for leaving her after all the things she had done for me but still i should leave this friendship cause its really draining me emotionaly bcos I do like her a lot but she just doesnt reciprocate this feelings, but part of me is still acting like a masochist and saying that i can't leave her and should continue in this like its an effing karmic deal which pulls me back to her. I just don't know what to do anymore. What is this? Why can't I leave this thing?

I'm the one on the outside http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/7147/astro61gw1601paulaaruil.gif

Please help

 

[kaminari]

She has Moon conjunct Pluto in the natal (& also conjunct yours) so I wonder if her emotions are so intense that she must keep a leash on them, which would make her go cold. Or seem to go cold. Pluto is one cold planet at times. Your Pluto conjunct her Moon, this would put you in touch with your own Pluto, maybe she is showing you what's already inside you.

And your Moon square her Pluto. Oh, this is intense no?

You guys have a lot of Node & Saturn synastry going on. Maybe that's why it's hard to leave.

Also, your Saturn conjunct her Sun. This might be tough on her so take it easy. She'll stick around, just try not to dampen her enthusiasm too much. I am often the Saturn with a lot of my friends. Saturn gets a little weary at the Sun person's free-flowing nature. Gotta let them be & they will also respect you as some sort of "teacher" in their life.

 

[EJ53]

But Im pretty sure I didnt do anything nasty to draw that reaction...

It's not what you did, Aruilly.....It's what you didn't do.

I agree with all that Kaminari has said......and her chart being ruled by Saturn on a Capricorn Ascendant emphasises that need to keep a leash on her intense emotions......(perhaps because her Cancer Chiron made her feel rejected when she did so as a child).

What you didn't do, is to make her feel "wanted"......This girl needs to be hugged, and it might not be easy for you to express yourself in that way (because of your Leo Chiron).

 

[Aruilly]

Thanks for the replies, kaminari and EJ53

kaminari, you're right about the intensity but you see, even though my saturn is on her sun, from the moment we met she seems to embody the energy more (well kinda obvious why and to date she is the most saturnine person I met too) and I have this jupiter vibe going on. This is actually what is shown in the composite chart as well with Sat opp Jup. Even so, i'll take it in stride bcos I have saturn-sun natally and hell yeah I can say its not nice.

I'm confused if I should really pursue any contact with her bcos seriously this girl scares me a bit. Plus im not sure but I don't think that her Saturn on my north node and neptune is going to be a good thing. Also, I think her pluto is square my venus and that is not good

EJ53, I never thought it that way

It's true im very awkward when it comes to physically showing affection, but i think i did show i wanted her around. My chiron is on her 7th though and now that is weird. And somehow, I feel like there is this tension in the air around us so I don't feel comfortable touching her. But truth be told she isnt exactly touchy feely either. Like a good cap she shows love by doing things or mothering/bossing me around and yet she doesnt let me do things for her Is this saturn in the 1st?

 

[vanila]

Also Mars square Mercury is not easy one...... it stimulate you to communicate and to search understanding from one another...there is something frustrating with this aspect.......and her Moon/Pluto conjunction make squares to your Venus and Moon.....also her Sun/Venus conjunction conjunct your Saturn.....Saturn is good for long lasting relationships......but also might make her feel restricted or limited in some way when near you......and she has enough of this with Sun, ASC in Capricorn and Saturn on the ASC.....plus this intense Moon/Pluto conjunction...
her Pluto square your Venus.....this is very powerful aspect...
some info:
http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/venus_pluto_aspects.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/sun_saturn_aspects.html
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/synastryaspects.html#Mercury%20square

in the near past I had strange relationship with Saturn, Pluto, Moon aspects....and I know it is very strange, frustrating and hard to understand......

good luck

 

[vanila]

Is she Aqua Sun.....or Cap...?

 

[Aruilly]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

This is quick post cause I got to go to class but I wanted to clarify that she is capricorn sun even though an end of cusp one. She identifies herself as a capricorn and I definetly agree. The truth is we were hiting it off very well but then somehow things went astray somewhere. By the way, I say I met her recently but that was a mistake of my part (well kind of, I consider it recent ) we know each other for around 5 months and the problems started around a month and a half ago.

I'll come back later.

 

[Modcleopatra]

Woo nelly,

Aruilly, I feel for you. Her Moon conjunct Pluto, in Scorpio of all signs, is tough for anyone to pull away from. Holy Moly. I'm already feeling attached to her. Sort of like a bug going into the light... zzzzz


On top of that, for you, YOUR Venus and Moon are squaring that conjunction. OUCH! She could run you hot, cold, wet, or dry, and you'd still stick around because she seems to... promise...so... much.

But see, what ties you in, is that your Natal Pluto is there, on top of her conjunction. You've lived your whole life feeling your Venus and Moon square Pluto, meaning you've got some underlying insecurities regarding your capacity to love and show affection, and you may draw people to you that highlight that. (Careful, this could mean abusive, manipulative types.) Since Pluto is transcendental, you may not always notice this, but she makes it hard to ignore. She sort of holds that sore of yours wide open, running her salt water tears all over it.

And strangely, you kind of like this. Why? I think its something I like to call "sweet pain," and you are no stranger to that when it comes to relationships. As you said, you're acting like a masochist.

But see, Chiron in Leo would be the ultimate masochist. Leo is the Ego, Chiron is the Wound. A masochist retrieves their Ego through letting others wound them. They live vicariously through the sadistic types they draw near them, co-opting the Ego experience of the Sadist, who lives their Ego through wounding others. You see, a Masochist is a Sadist too, a Sadist to themselves. You need someone to wound you so you can jump aboard their experience and wound yourself in their shoes.

Not to worry though, everyone does this, and it isn't a weakness. It just needs to be transmutated. You will learn in time how this works for you. Having your Venus in Leo suggests that, when the right relationship comes along, it will put you in touch with the part of you who can experience joy and pleasure by giving it to others, not just pain. You have the potential to be a true empath.

But be careful. This girl is one of many others who will cross your path. The first thing I suggest you do is pay attention to all that Pluto represents. Namely, death.

You now must begin the process of making her dead to you. This will be what you will have to each time someone like this crosses your path.

It will not be easy, but it will work. You must redirect your ego energies towards something else, preferrably not someone else, and certainly not yourself, because that me-you-them thing is a bit messy for you. You must recoil what you've extended into her, into your projection of her really. I could go into all the psychology stuff behind this, but simply, you created a false image of her, which is really stuffed with all of you, and you are losing you!

Pull back pull back pull back. Withdraw the troops, withdraw the emotions. Retreat!

But do not surrender. Simply imagine all of the memories, the energy, the emotions, the possibilities, fading. They happened, they were, they are done. She is dead to you. Everything you feel and know about her, was real, and now is leaving.

You may want to make this a radical change! I suggest you move in slowly. This is about retrieving your power.

I hope this helps some...

mod.

 

[Neptune Rising]

Wow Capricorn stellium, though Sun/Venus tricky to tell. You also have Neptune conjunct North Node, same as me! Also you are having a nodal return now by transit which means transiting North Node conjunct your natal one. The reason I mention this is her stellium and Ascendant is conjunct your North Node, thats is quite alot of energy stimulating the path you are heading towards in this life. North Node in Capricorn - destiny to do with business, management, responsibility and duty, also can be serious, a bit cold. It could be you feel a tug between staying and going, maybe you feel the lessons she is stimulating in you, pushing you towards your North Node.

Also with the nodal return, that could be the reasons for her being in your life now with her Capricornian energy, this nodal return brings things in that will help you to learn and head in the way your nodes point to. It doesnt mean this relationship will be forever, just it will teach you what you need to learn, Capricornian lessons I feel. South Node in Cancer suggests you are comfortable with nurturing, family, security in the home. We have to balance both our nodes I feel, with Capricorn/Cancer its a balance between being business like and responsible and duty bound with nurturing and caring for those closest to you.

 

[Neptune Rising]

I also noticed your natal north node is on the cusp of your 2nd house, so with the nodal return falling there some of your north node in Capricorn lessons could be how to build a solid sense of self worth? This girl could be helping you in some way move towards your north node, maybe unknowingly by the way she is treating you, and how you are reacting to her?

Just a few thoughts.

 

[Aruilly]

Thanks for the replies

Thanks, for the links Vanila. Pluto-venus in this case is trouble bcos it also activates my own natal pluto-venus.

Modcleopatra, yeah this is a very intense kind of deal. This girl makes me feel like my moon sq. pluto is just child play near what she has. I've made half the jump by now. I moved to another place (well, 3 chairs away, but thats the max I can lol) and im hanging out with other ppl. I pretty much know the standard proceeding for me to go away, but what is also keeping me locked is that somehow I feel I made a mistake. Bcos a week ago her reactions to me where giving me wrong signals. I think this girl herself doesn't know what to do about me anymore either. Now she is ignoring me, but I can't just not notice she started hanging out with pretty much anyone else available ever since I "left" so to speak, she even talks with ppl she could careless about before, to me it seems her cap nature is saying look im the boss here. My neptune in 1st is going nuts with this one, her face is cold and by now so is mine, but I feel this I miss you vibe going on too though it just may be wishful thinking. Either way, I wish i could just know what she feels so I could say to myself its over. It is so weird it even feels like we were dating

Haizea, no prob she does have this aqua thing going on and is kind of expected just a lil later and she'd be aquarius. In the beginning I thought she was aqua too but she always said she is capricorn. Sucky part is that even if she were to be aquarius I'd still be in the same situation with her. Could she like me and be scared? I don't know myself. I suppose this would be one of those come out and ask moments but right now im not in a very good moment to do this. When I did a tarot spread to see (my scorpio 12th is master at sending messages) the cards always pointed out to excessive feeling but im not sure what type of excess. Now, the cards say she is having abandonment issues and is having a fox and grapes stance with me. Confusing

Neptune rising, that's interesting bcos I did meet her when saturn was in my tenth too. Whatever pupose it has however, I can't really stick out too long to something that will kill me emotionally.

Saturn in 11th is really kicking the heck out of me.

 

[Neptune Rising]

Neptune rising, that's interesting bcos I did meet her when saturn was in my tenth too. Whatever pupose it has however, I can't really stick out too long to something that will kill me emotionally.

Aruilly, I know what your saying. That could be part of the nodal lesson. The nodal return will give you things to work on. Like you say, "something that will kill me emotionally", maybe you need to be Capricornian in your emotions, and less Cancerian with this girl, looking after your emotions and giving them some structure.

 

[Aruilly]

Haha, never mind. Yeah, my life seems like a soap opera every now and then I'll give an update later but as things are going it will probably take a few days for anything to happen lol.

Well, by the way. I was curious what does Venus conjunct south node mean besides trouble lol.

 

[Neptune Rising]

Well, by the way. I was curious what does Venus conjunct south node mean besides trouble lol.

I've read it means you two could have been lovers in another life. I have experienced it as, the Venus person 'releases' love/money/luxuries onto the south node person - thats taking the aspect on its own. It gets more complex when adding the other natal aspects in. You have Moon opposite Venus natally, these are tied into her North/South nodes. Its also quite a pull between you, very much like a balancing act, seems like you are giving her nodal lessons too.