Aquarian Maverick said:
..I feel like I'm trying to complete a puzzle with missing pieces, and I'm driving myself to distraction.
Indeed, I feel a strong sense of destiny for a young person my age, but I have no idea what I'm supposed to accomplish here in this incarnation--not a clue. I've been looking towards astrology for answers to questions I have long deemed unanswerable, trying to figure out who I am and why I'm here...yet there's something missing. There's always something missing. Are we currently experiencing any difficult transits that might explain this confusion and this urgency?
Dear AqMav,
Here are two charts you should examine (both yours):
I've been reading threads, and as I entered this one (which began before I joined this forum) I heard what sounded like my own voice when I was in my late teens, early 20s -- that sense of urgency. Yours sounds somewhat less frantic than mine did, and yet it sounded so deadly serious, wanting to know, basically, "What are we here for?" except that you are wise enough to limit that to simply, "What am
I here for?"
I have to start this lengthy entry (if it's not long yet, it's gonna be!) by saying, that for myself, I came close to burning out early, trying to come to conclusions about this. After a broken romance (as time went on, I had lots of these,-- this was more of a "Mid-Youth Crisis" - ) and a kind of personal, inner fizzle, then a time of rest, and a time of re-beginning, I finally concluded that I could not answer all these questions in a day, and, in fact, I believed, and still believe, I am here for a very serious purpose, and so I must take care of my body, so that it can be here long enough for my mind and spirit to mature.
Yes, there are specific reasons why you would feel a sense of urgency about your life right now.
Take a look at that Pluto-focal-planet yod.
On your transiting chart, all this year, you will have Jupiter conjuncting natal Pluto.
On your progressed chart -- RIGHT NOW! -- your progressed Moon is conjuncting natal Pluto.
In other words, for some reason, right now, your natal Pluto -- the focal planet in one of your yods -- is the "Man of the Hour."
Now, you say that kids at your school all know what they are going to do. Just like that.
I wrestled with this problem for many years in my youth. What I finally figured out, after much time, was that those people were probably only good at one thing, or maybe two things. Personally, I was multi-talented and excessively talented, like you. This was both good, and bad. Good, since of course we should feel rich to be bestowed with many talents like this, and bad, because I felt I was squandering all this talent by not being able to choose between playing piano and writing and managing people and psychoanalyzing and painting and dancing and doing math and handling responsibility. Wht couldn't I just do all those things? What was wrong with me?
Glyk wants to know where mental illness comes from. I'd say, having too many choices can do it.
Some astrologer I read long ago said this:
In order to determine your best career,
look at the rulers of the sign where your Midheaven lands.
On your chart, those rulers are --
Mars -- which you have as the focal planet of a yod
-- and --
Pluto -- which you have as the focal planets of a yod.
Your North Node, which shows you the path that comes easily to you, the general direction your soul is headed in, is in Pisces in your 1st House. This means, you are dramatically performing for the world (1st house) an exploration of the unknown, such as astrology (Pisces) -- although, you may find other outlets for this combination as your life progresses.
Those postings by Kite and Tim, about Pluto yod and psychoanalyzing versus trust, and Mars yod and competing in the home -- I agree with those. You'll probably find other ways of letting out the same energy if you give yourself a break from time to time, so you don't burn yourself out.
But anyway, right now, your life is focused on that Pluto yod, because both your Progressed chart and your transiting chart are hammering on it.
-- Canyon Jayne
