Sleeping with the enemy - OR - The most weird vacation ever

[C0rnholio]

I am going on a 5-day cruise this Saturday with my soon-to-be-ex girlfriend. We actually thought to end the relationship 2 weeks ago, but the cruise and the airfare are all paid for and it is silly to cancel and lose most of the money. So... I feel like we are one of those common American couples who got together, made some babies, and can't wait til they turn 18 so that they can get a happy divorce. It shucks.

Here are our charts, if you care to take a look:

Her Natal

Synastry

Composite

My natal chart is in the signature.

Considerations:
- My Jupiter - her Stellium opposition trigger a lot of growth in me. But I am not growing in her direction, we are growing apart.
- The Moon-Saturn square in the composite means there is no emotional closeness whatsoever. This is not something that can be fixed by conversing with one another. I have no idea how to overcome it.

Pluses:
- She loves sex like a guy. She thinks it is very important and can get over her bad mood or emotions and still enjoy it (Mars on the Ascendant). Lots of passion (Mars-Moon square in synastry and Venus-Pluto conjunction in Composite).
- She loves to keep everything clean, neat and organized. Mars in Virgo.
- She is smart and educated. She has a fancy job title. We always split the bill.
- She looks and walks like a model (Virgo Ascendant).
- Loves most of the stuff that I love (Leo Sun).
- She is definitely a LTR material.

Minuses:
- I didn't think I would ever experience this, but I feel like she is sucking all the life out of me through sex (her Mars on the Ascendant squares Neptune). I rarely feel good and energized after having sex with her as I usually do, no matter if we did it for for a few minutes or a few hours. Either my Mars or my Jupiter feel quite deflated after the experience, even though sex is actually great.
- I fancy needy girls, but for some reason I do not want to provide her with the emotional support that she needs (Saturn in her Leo stellium and Descendant in Pisces make her quite needy). She is extremely sensitive. Outwardly very giving, but subconsciously extremely self-centered. I feel no compassion.
- Her only Water is Uranus in Scorpio. She rarely knows how I feel. She has to ask stupid questions to find out how I feel. In the middle of a nice conversation she would often ask... "is what I am saying annoying you?" WTF? Her first thoughts are always negative.
- She is a little bunched up in one corner of the chart for me to consider her interesting. I think she wants a house in a suburb, a white picket fence, a kid or two, and a cat (I'm happy not a dog). After three months of dating we still haven't established if she has any other goals in life. She is curious about astronomy and far away planets. Our conversations are often heavy on details and petty arguing, but low on substance (she probably does not like my Pluto).
- She does not like to cook, she eats very little, and it is often junk. I have to maintain my own separate diet.

All comments are very welcome. Thank you.

 

[Wildezword]

Hola, I'm strapped for time on a work contract, otherwise I'd write more, but I'll return to this topic in a few days. Thank you for posting these charts, its a good opportunity for both of us.

Well, its easy to see how you guys got together. On a lot of levels you have ideal comparisons.

You - Sun/Moon - Leo/Sag - Fire/Fire
Her - Sun/Moon - Leo/Leo - Fire/Fire

You - Venus/Mars - Vir/Ari - Earth/Fire
Her - Venus/Mars - Leo/Vir - Fire/Earth

But, you know...that Saturn of hers, right in the middle of her stellium, is pretty much making incorrect most of what the textbooks would say about her basic layout. It's like Saturn literally has both her Sun/Moon by the scruff of their necks. Without Saturn there, you two would be like Bonnie & Clyde. You might've gotten flashes of that kind of essence in the very beginning of your relationship, when everything was fresh and new before Saturn had a chance to clamp down.

As you already deduced, her Mars position in relation to your chart is a classic configuration of physical control or domination, but I wouldn't say its due to interaction with Neptune. You already have your own Neptune there, so you're already acclimated to that energy. However, her Mars is strongly aspecting both your Venus and Moon, two fairly passive and yielding planets...one ruling your feminine sensuality, the other your feminine emotionality. The former is Conjunct, the latter is in Square.

So, basically every time she initiates sex (which in reality is a Martian impulse or wave of energy)...it subdues you physically and injures you emotionally. Her sex is exciting physically, but for you emotionally feels violent. She physically puts you in your place, then emotionally defeats you. Its a bit melodramatic to communicate it that way, but at least it gives you a clear mental picture of the underlying tendency. If that weren't enough, her Saturn on your Sun attacks your ego again this time from the masculine side. When she loses control, she can be a bit of an emasculater towards you.

If you don't want to suffer the Mars injury, you'll have to initiate with your own Mars impulse for sex in the beginning and don't let her take over. Your Mars, while it is not in strong aspect to her stuff, is in compatible elements with her entire stellium, so it has the opportunity to be very satisfying for her...if her Saturn doesn't cock block your Mars. which she'll be tempted to do because saying No is a way she can regain a measure of feeling in control (Saturn) over her identity (Sun/Moon), which might feel threatened simply because you decided to do something with innocent intentions. Nice run-on sentence there.

Would it be safe to say that she's the one who wants out, and not you? I mean, I can see her wanting out because she's got such a restless chart. You may want out simply because you're exhausted, which isn't technically the same thing...because there might still be some bittersweet pangs over "what could be." Like you sense the potential (your Moon-Nep) and are just so frustrated that the reality (her Saturn) isn't matching.

I see your Saturn and its not making any contacts with her natal chart except in Trine to Uranus. In contrast to this, her Saturn sits on your Sun, Trines your Moon, Sextiles your Asc, Opposes your Jupiter. So, would it be accurate to say she goes through life thinking you mostly owe her, but she doesn't owe you? Or she's got some raging double-standard regarding you she's not aware of?

The Saturnian links seem pretty lopsided, and either way you cut it, I don't see this as very sustainable on your part. Not even considering that she's Leo LEO LEO!!! up the wazoo, the Saturn lopsideness would be enough to drain anyone fast. So, it seems you did the "lion share's" (bad pun intended) of the sacrificing and adjusting.

What's interesting about her chart, is that she's got Jupiter attacking one end of her stellium, while Uranus attacks the other end. Both of them extremely freedom-loving to the point of fanaticism. Even though they're both outside of orb, I'd feel very tempted to interpret Uranus/Jupiter to be in Square with all of them, kind of like how one falling domino can transmit energy to another domino close by...and on and on.

Transiting Saturn doesn't seem the culprit for a break-up. Neither does Uranus/Neptune/Pluto.

My best guess would be a combination of a transiting Sun Square over the stellium 3-4 weeks ago making her feel extremely dissatisfied. The same Transiting Sun would've also activated her natal Uranus (desire for change) via conjunction. Maybe she went through a series of mishaps. Then, this was quickly followed by the transitting Mars Trine over the same stellium, which made it easier for her to "pull the trigger" on her various issues, suppressed and coiled up by the earlier Transitting Sun Square Stellium, Conj. natal Uranus. The same Transitting Mars would've also crossed her natal Neptune, fiercely activating her desire for escape and attainment of sublime or distant possibilities.

So, while you may have talked about a breakup 2 weeks ago, that might have been the actual point of energy release. The Sun would've caused the buildup first, so you might have felt the rumblings 1-2 weeks earlier. Like I mentioned above, you lack Saturn contacts to her planets, and they would've made it difficult for these lighter planets to dislodge a relationship through transits.

Oh and I almost forgot to mention, those lopsided Saturn themes in her favor are a basic configuration for someone who might keep coming back to you for help after the relationship ends.

2 cents. Hope it helps. Good luck on your trip. All the above is just my musings.

 

[queenfluff]

You - Sun/Moon - Leo/Sag - Fire/Fire
Her - Sun/Moon - Leo/Leo - Fire/Fire

You - Venus/Mars - Vir/Ari - Earth/Fire
Her - Venus/Mars - Leo/Vir - Fire/Earth

Another great interpretation by you! So fun to read these!. Can I ask you a question? I noticed in another thread you mentioned something like the above.

So, in your opinion, for a good couples match - should their sun's and moons both be in the same element (ie both fire) or can they be like the Venus/Mars example you have there? (ie both have one of the signs in earth and one in fire). I have read many times on here and on other sites that good Venus/Mars match ups are within the same elements.

For example, I have both Venus and Mars in Fire signs so my guess would be I would be best with someone else who has both their Venus and Mars in both Fire signs (or I also read that Air could work too). And my Sun is in Earth and my Moon in Fire so I would be best with someone else with either Sun and Moon in both of these two also?

C0rnholio, I think Wildezword did great job of analyzing your ex but maybe you two should try to be friends for the cruise and see how it goes? - no need to have a bad time on a cruise! Plus I am sure there will be lots of others to meet too and things you can do separately so it won't feel like you are a couple.

 

[C0rnholio]

Wildezword -- I've been thinking about what you said all day. Thank you very much. Lots of good info to process.

You are right about her Leo stellum being heavily modified by the Saturn. She is not a stereotypical Leo at all. The Leo stellium is very hard to see behind her Virgo Ascendant. She is modest, prudent, not very adventurous, a conservative dresser. You are right to say that I had quite high hopes for this relationship when it was just starting. I saw the potential. Until I realized that she is not quite the Leo that I thought she was.

Her Saturn is quite far away from my Sun though. She has her natal planets there to "protect me", including Venus that is exactly conjunct my Sun, so I thought it would be not bad because I sorta have a defense from it. The orb of her Saturn trine to my Moon is 5 degrees, so I thought that would actually be a good aspect, adding stability. But apparently she does not have a good handle on her Saturn and lets it rule her whole Leo stellium sometimes.

She has daddy issues. Daddy wasn't there when she felt needy as a little girl, and now she wants guys to be there when she feels needy. I would not mind comforting her sometimes, but she needs it all the time, and I there are no emotional rewards for me for doing that. And the issues aren't even serious. She kept whining about her boss at work, asked if I could beat him up. When I offered to talk to him she said that she was joking and everything is fine. But she got very excite and loved it that I actually "stepped up". A draining b.s. like this is not unusual.

I have already "built" a history meeting women with Leo and Virgo placements and Saturns in those signs. My Mom is Leo Moon+Mars, Virgo Ascendant and a Virgo Saturn right on my Venus. My ex-ex-girlfriends has a Virgo Sun on my Venus and a Leo Saturn on my Sun. And now this girl, with a Virgo Ascendant and Mars and a Leo Saturn on my Sun. In all three cases there is no emotional closeness. Nada.

Even with my mom. I love my mom because she is my mom, but I've had many more emotionally rewarding relationships with women. I know it can be and should be better than that. Having Saturn in Leo is not a good way to trap me.

She sometimes does bruise my Venus and Moon, but that's okay. My Venus likes it, and my Moon is quite invincible (cosy with the Neptune in the la-la land). Emotionally I am quite alright after sex.

I do not have anything against her initiating sex. I just do not like it when she rejects it if I initiate it. It seems like a control issue to her. Do not get me wrong, she has not been depriving me of sex, in fact we might have been having too much of it. I just do not like it that I do not get it when I want it and get plenty of it when I am too tires to have it. Like late at night after a whole evening of arguing. She is a control freak in general, and in most of her past relationships she was the one with the balls. Astrologers say that two Leos together ofter have fights over who is in control. Well, in this case it might be even more prominent. A few times I felt she wanted to tell me that she loves me, but she did not. Then, after I said it first, she still didn't admit it. Only kept hinting that she might indeed love me, as if verbalizing her feelings would have caused her to lose her mojo, and would make her more vulnerable. Whatever. She eventually said it during an argument, but it didn't matter because it was not news to me and was used to make a point in the argument.

I do not think she is messing up my Mars or Moon directly, perhaps she is upsetting them via Jupiter? It's my vitality that I am worried about more (I do not know if it would be Mars of Moon?). But an upset Jupiter in my chart would trigger pretty much every single aspect pattern in my natal chart, and would result in a bad mood, a lack of sleep, and a lof of thinking and re-evaluating.

http://www.skyviewzone.com/lovematch/jupitersynastryaspects.htm#jusopp

She does not really want out, but she is afraid of being dumped now or in the future. She is clingy, but also a control freak with a sensitive ego at the same time. She says she wants a perfect relationship or none at all, but I know she would settle for an okay relationship as long as it is lasting. I wouldn't want a relationship without love though. And love has been dying over the last few weeks.

Well... It is time for me to pack suitcases for my tropical cruise. I am planning to enjoy it thoroughly regardless. If you know some cool charts with which I am compatible, or cool synastry ideas, then please shoot them to me. I need a lot of Fire, some Sagittarius, some Water, some Virgo, some Scorpio or Pluto for depth, and some high-quality air or Uranus please to keep them free-thinking.

Oh and I almost forgot to mention, those lopsided Saturn themes in her favor are a basic configuration for someone who might keep coming back to you for help after the relationship ends.

Would it be her coming to me for help, or the other way around??

 

[C0rnholio]

C0rnholio, I think Wildezword did great job of analyzing your ex but maybe you two should try to be friends for the cruise and see how it goes? - no need to have a bad time on a cruise! Plus I am sure there will be lots of others to meet too and things you can do separately so it won't feel like you are a couple.

I am always friends with my exes, if they have been at least moderately good to me. I need to get over this and get into the friendship mode quickly. Here, I am sending you a picture of me on vacation wearing cool sunglasses -->

 

[Wildezword]

So, in your opinion, for a good couples match - should their sun's and moons both be in the same element (ie both fire) or can they be like the Venus/Mars example you have there? (ie both have one of the signs in earth and one in fire). I have read many times on here and on other sites that good Venus/Mars match ups are within the same elements.

For example, I have both Venus and Mars in Fire signs so my guess would be I would be best with someone else who has both their Venus and Mars in both Fire signs (or I also read that Air could work too). And my Sun is in Earth and my Moon in Fire so I would be best with someone else with either Sun and Moon in both of these two also?

Hola Queen, very good questions. Suns/Moons don't have to be exactly in the same element to indicate compatibility.

1) All Fire/Air signs are generally compatible with each other.

2) Likewise, all Earth/Water signs are compatible with each other.

The elements of Astrology work the exact same way their physical counterparts do. Fire stimulates Air, Air feeds Fire. Earth gives Water structure, Water nourishes Earth. Fire/Air fights with or destroys Earth/Water, and vice-versa.

So, in essence, a man "compatible" with you is someone who (just by his presence and interaction) rejuvenates, refreshes, sparks or increases various levels of your personal energies. An "incompatiblie" man, in essence, is someone who stifles, blocks, douses or constricts various channels of your personal energy.

Elemental energy affinities are reflected in the Aspects. Notice that Trines always indicate planets are in same elements. Sextiles always indicate planets are in compatible elements. Squares indicate planets are in hostile elements.

Sun/Moon elements don't have to match perfectly for compatibility to exist in a couple. Ideally though, the Sun or Moon in one partner's chart should be compatible with at least one of either the Sun or Moon in the other chart. Otherwise there is danger that two people will just grow apart over time.

This means you can easily see harmonious relationships such as a Taurus/Sag woman with an Aries/Libra man....because the Moons are compatible (Fire to Air), even though the Suns are not (Fire to Earth)

Moon signs are typically far more important to marriage relationships than the Sun signs simply because it rules the home life. If two people have incompatible Sun signs, all it means is that during the day they both probably go off into their seperate worlds (their jobs). But, if both Moons are compatible they will come back to the domestic sphere and find their unity and rejuvenate each other.

There are (usually) two ways to look at elemental compatibility between a man and woman:

1) Parallel compatibilities (Sun to Sun, Moon to Moon, Mars to Mars, Venus to Venus).

2) Cross compatibilies (Sun to Moon, Mars to Venus)

SUN/MOON

Parallel compatibility works best for Sun/Moon comparisons. The Sun and Moon are indicators of Identity, and we get along best with those we can "identify" with. A man and woman with compatible Sun signs can typically present a united front in public. They each have the other's back in a way that inspires confidence in the other. And a man and woman with compatible Moon signs will usually be able to occupy the same space in a domestic environment without much friction.

Cross compatibilies (one person's Sun compatible with another's Moon) can be tricky for couples because it means while one person rests easy at home (Moon) the other person has to make some effort (Sun) to get along...and there is a danger of drainage and exhaustion of the Sun person over a very long period of time. The Moon person will typically rule the home. The flipside is also true. The Sun person will tend to lead the Moon in public interactions, and the Moon will typically grow exhausted if the relationship is somehow public over the long term, whereas the Sun will thrive.

VENUS/MARS

Cross compatibility is best for Venus/Mars comparisons, because they are aspects of physical attraction, not identity. But always remember, identity is not passion. So, these planets can often throw relationships off-course even if Suns and Moons are ideally located. Venus indicates things we find aesthetically pleasing or pleasant. And Mars is a very primal indicator of things you simply want. Just to illustrate how powerful your Venus/Mars placement can be...I knew a married couple once, together for ~15 years before they divorced. They had this configuration:

Her: Sun/Moon - Sag/Sag - Fire/Fire
Him: Sun/Moon - Leo/Sag - Fire/Fire

Very compatible on identity. They threw parties every month involving 50-70 people. They always presented a very united front to the public (they both worked in politics), and they were clearly making team decisions regarding how best to exploit the home environment (parties).

Her: Venus/Mars - Aquarius/Aquarius - Air/Air
Him: Venus/Mars - Leo/Scorpio - Fire/Water

His Mars Squared her Venus (Water to Air) within 1 degree. In the end, she cheated on him. She often complained he wasn't attractive and in particular his odor smelled bad to her (Air Venus finding the smell (Air) of a Squared Mars aesthetically displeasing).

Political correctness aside, the most important correlation is usually the man's Mars to the woman's Venus. As you can see, his Venus is compatible with both her Venus and Mars, but it wasn't magnetic enough to keep them physically in attraction.

So, for your double Fire Venus/Mars...you'll probably prefer a man with Fire or Air Mars because you want the compatibility to your Venus. Barring any heavy afflictions to his Mars, you'd find him manly in whatever ways that means to you, and he'd always find you physically arousing and you would be for him a physical embodiment of what he desires, particularly when in Conjunction.

Parallel compatibilities are still very nice, but you just don't find that urgent "need" to be together. A man's Venus to a woman's Venus would indicate an enjoyment of the same things, with similar opinions on various sensual topics. Mars to Mars compatibility is VERY nice and can actually be very sexual as well. Mars/Mars compatibility has the added perk of making a woman/man work extremely well together under pressure, on short notice, or in an any activity that requires coordinated teamwork. On the flipside, Mars Square Mars between anybody, not just man and woman, is fairly unpleasant.

When you get deeper into Astrology, you won't just look at Sun/Moon and Venus/Mars for compatibility. For example, the Moon can often substitute for Venus very well...so that a man's Mars to a woman's Moon can be extremely sexual in addition to being a profoundly vulnerable and intimate position for the woman in question. I do not find though that Sun to Venus comparisons between a man and woman to be very strong, it tends towards a gentle attraction but not something by itself that would compel the initiation of a new relationship.

And last but not least, Mercury indicates communication compatibility between a man and woman. Believe it or not, Mercury is its own book and can also dictate relationships.

So to summarize everything, the stereotypical cookie-cutter good compatibility between a man and woman would contain these indicators:

1) Compatible Sun signs (Fire/Air or Earth/Water)
2) Compatible Moon signs (Fire/Air or Earth/Water)
3) Cross-compatible her Venus to his Mars (or vice-versa, but its usually weaker)

And a close second would be instead of 1) and 2), substitute:

1) Cross-compatible Sun/Moon signs (preferably doubled, as in Man's Sun is compatible to Woman's Moon in addition to her Sun being compatible to his Moon)

Mercury will determine lines of communication. Jupiter aspects (positive or negative) will tend to happiness. Saturn aspects (positive or negative) will tend to permanence or otherwise provide compelling reasons (pleasant or unpleasant) to stay together.

 

[queenfluff]

Oh, so wonderful thanks!

I am copying your entire post and saving it.

So, nice to know. Interesting too - looking back on past relationships esp. live-in ones and now I know why we just couldn't live together! hehe

Thanks so much - I know the "base" to look at now. Makes a lot of sense too!

 

[Baha]

Wild:

Love your interpretations! I hope you stick around this board for a long time; excellent!

 

[juicey J.]

venus conjuct the others rising/mars, and that person's venus conjunct the others sun, can you say attraction? The mars rising isn't the best thing as people with mars angular can (key word) be antagonisic even to people they have relatively good synastry with. Also, the moon mars square (I've looked at small handful of killers charts and those of some of their victims and moon mars square came up a few times). The moon mars square in the composite, bad news bears, granted jupiter does square mars and in general most major aspects to jupiter are good but mars square jupiter appears to be a major exception and in composite will only exagerate what ever anger/conflict already exists.

 

[C0rnholio]

Okay, I am back. The cruise was okay. On a scale of 1 to 10 it was a 6.5. We have finally broken up and I do not want to see her ever again (really unusual for me because I am usually on good terms with my exes). I have a few comments.

juicey J. -- The Mars-Venus conjunction would normally be a good aspect, but not in this case. Two weak planets conjunct initially feels good but makes both unhappy in the long run. Her Mars is weakened by Neptune (very needy, insecure, indirect, un-confident, usually unsatisfied, negative thinking), and my Venus in Virgo (in fall - critical, analytical, cynical). Our only lasting common point of contact was agreeing on the importance of personal hygiene and general cleanliness around the house.

The Moon-Venus square is a good sexual tension aspect, you need some of those, but it makes for a bad rest & relaxation time together. In the last several weeks I more and more started liking relaxing alone. And of course, with all the neediness in her chart (Mars-Neptune square, Saturn in the stellium, Pisces Descendant) she felt that I wasn't giving her what she required.

 

[juicey J.]

When did I say anything about the venus conjunct mars being good, all I said is it plays a part in attraction (which, venus/mars aspects in general seem to do), I said nothing about it being some magical/happy aspect. Also, the moon square mars with nothing to counter it, I think is a big culprit as it maybe the single worst aspect between two charts. The fact there is an uncountered one in the composite just adds fuel to the fire. Although your right about the mars conjunct the rising square neptune not good.

 

[C0rnholio]

Here is the coolest part, Wildezword: September 8 - T.Sun conjunct our Venus-Mars conjunction - we did it for the first time. Three months later - Dec 8th - T.Sun squares that conjunction - a conflict and a final breakup. How cool is this?!!

I think I had that pattern before in one more relationship where my Venus was unhappy. Here though, the transits affected both of our week planets at once. Daym! The moral of this story - I need to try to keep my witchy Venus happy.

 

[Wildezword]

Aye, transits are amazingly clear when seen in hindsight. I'm still struggling with my ability to project forward. You need a computer brain to visualize all the possibilities when staring at a wall of numbers in the ephemeris.

Definitely need to keep Venus happy when in relationships. lol. I'd think the transits would treat a woman with a Trine to your Venus kinder. So, maybe the task isn't that brutal, but maybe you just like that crazy-intense merging of the Conjunction.

 

[anjelik]

So to summarize everything, the stereotypical cookie-cutter good compatibility between a man and woman would contain these indicators:

1) Compatible Sun signs (Fire/Air or Earth/Water)
2) Compatible Moon signs (Fire/Air or Earth/Water)
3) Cross-compatible her Venus to his Mars (or vice-versa, but its usually weaker)

What about the Descendant? I have a Capricorn Ascendant and I find that I am often drawn to Cancer Suns and usually Leo Mars when it comes to settling into a relationship. However, I eventually grow very bored of them and crave excitement.

Sun - Pisces
Moon - Gemini
Mars - Libra
Venus - Capricorn

 

[Wildezword]

What about the Descendant? I have a Capricorn Ascendant and I find that I am often drawn to Cancer Suns and usually Leo Mars when it comes to settling into a relationship. However, I eventually grow very bored of them and crave excitement.

Sun - Pisces
Moon - Gemini
Mars - Libra
Venus - Capricorn

To be honest, I don't use Western Astrology house systems after years of frustrating experimentation with Placidus, Koch and Campanus.

Houses are environments. So, yes, if indeed a person has planets landing in your 7th house, you will tend to see them in a relationship light. Whether or not they respond favorably to those assumptions depends on the planetary synastry.

House positions in chart comparisons have their place in synastry, but they never override what the planets have to say.

In general, if another person has the Sun/Moon/Ascendent in your 3rd, 7th or 11th house it points to harmony in a relationship. Out of the three, the Ascendent would be the most important, followed by the Moon. 5th house certainly helps passion and is certainly encouraging of relationships, but I don't really find that "growing together over time" quality that you do in 3rd and 11th.

You tend to grow bored because you probably are dating men with not enough elements in their horoscopes. Notice how your Female psyche is divided into two hostile elements.

Moon - Air
Venus - Earth

Masculine psyche is also divided into hostile elements

Sun - Water
Mars - Air

And the Identity polarity between Sun/Moon is also ruled by hostile elements and possibly in Square.

Sun - Water
Moon - Air

And the sexual polarity is also potentially in Square

Mars - Air
Venus - Earth

Probably the Air-types last the longest, but few men can keep up with you. The problem with Air guys is they might tend to lie back and let you do the work sexually...or maybe thats how you prefer it...dunno. But, ultimately, you need someone who can shift gears as fast as you can, so I'd look for a man with a decent amount of personal planet Squares in his own chart, as well. It won't be harmonious by a long shot, but you won't get bored. Try and find a man with a Jupiter conjunction to your Sun/Moon or vice versa, it would do wonders in getting him to shift in your direction, rather than going off on his own. Plus, it would stablilize you into one predominant element as well. Also enough Saturn synastric aspects could keep even a seemingly unstable relationship together.

 

[07.Re]

And the sexual polarity is also potentially in Square

Mars - Air
Venus - Water.

Wildezword, don't you mean Venus in Earth (her Venus is in Cap).

 

[Wildezword]

Yep, ty much for pointing it out. I'll change it in edits.