Seeking second opinion on Mother-in-law synastry

Synastry has her on the inside, my planets on the outside.

I've never liked or respected my mother-in-law since the month we first met. She's always tried to change me to be more like her. We've never had verbal fights because we're both conflict avoiders but many a time she has made me irate. I believe she is extremely dense, childish and condescending and I'd go as far as call her narcissistic. I just want some validation that I'm not crazy.

How sore is Chiron in our synastry? Looks like there's serious Capricorn-Cancer oppositions. Is she seeing me as someone who's too serious or very naive because of these oppositions, while I see her as too frivolous and childish? I believe the biggest issues are Mercury and Chiron with my Neptune second worst, but I'd like to know if there's something else that sticks out to anyone.

I want to know what makes her seem to be overly sensitive yet presents this front that she has no feelings and her skin is really thick. Why does she play the victim when she isn't one? Why does she seem to never take anything seriously? Is her Neptune in 7th and her Moon in Capricorn in 9th why she has a failed marriage? I assume her Moon, Mercury, Sun and Mars are the main points of focus.

*I will post her natal if requested. I originally wanted to post both but I figured that'd be asking for a lot.
 

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rahu

Banned
hi whisper8snapper

I looked at the composite chart for you and her.
first off there is a Jupiter/venus conjunction opposed to the sun which usually shows a very positive and loving interaction. so it seems that there is actually a potential for a very warm and constructive relationship.
but as always the devil is in the details.

mercury is opposed to pluto ad trine to Neptune. this can show a block for communication but the sextile to mercury usually adds a sensitivity(if unspoken) and a healing quality.

the obvious tension start with the moon opposed to orcus and square the vertex. this shows a deep emotional separation,lack of emotional bonding. and with the vertex involved, it is involuntary and unconscious.

mars is opposed to Saturn and square to neptune,which shows you butt heads and with Neptune the "passive/aggressive quality is shown as though there are direct obstruction, nothing is ever brought out directly .this can show duplicitous actions.
in addition chiron is square to the mars/Saturn opposition .this can be particular destructive as ther is strong element of domineering and controlling interactions

Uranus is conjunct the Lilith axis which shows that you fundamentally have differences. this can show astral/psychic connection but can also show incessant arguments.
coupled with the strong Saturn, a strong Uranus oftenshows a up and down relationship, you are either accepting of each other or at odds but a stable and steady connections is missing.

I think the major problem with her is that the eris/ixion midpoint is conjunct the moon which implies a malicious jealousy which makes most sense to me. so it maybe simply the classical jealousy because of your relationship to her son.
it would be interesting to look a tricomposite with her ,you and him.
rahu
 
Rahu,

Thank you very much for your reply, I greatly appreciate it. :smile:

Is there a different method for drawing a chart that you've used because I'm not seeing Jupiter conjunct Venus anywhere besides my own Jupiter/Venus. Sorry, I'm a little confused. But if you are using a different method, I would say yes, there are some instances we do agree with each other and seem to be on the same page. "Loving" would be more on her side of the equation, not on mine. There certainly can be a potential for a positive aspect being trumped by negative ones.

Mercury is definitely an issue: there is a lot of unspoken things on both sides. Pluto would make this difference very intense and it does get to my head a lot of the time (hence why I've made this post!). There is an obsessive quality to the things she says and I collect the words and construct them like some determined detective/lawyer. Neptune makes me look at her as too sensitive, hence the bit where I tend to not say anything, in case she might get upset. She probably thinks the same thing on her end about me.

I'm not buffed on many of the asteroids and hypothetical points, could you care to briefly explain what Orcus, Vertex, the Lilith axis and Ixion mean within the chart?

I would agree with the lack of emotional bonding: whenever we do have conversations about something meaningful to our lives personally, we tend to walk away without feeling any deeper understanding of the other, if that makes sense. Like, we know more but in a textbook way. There is no deep, meaningful connection, none that makes the one feel closer to the other.

I think her Libra Mars in 6th generally makes her more controlling in general, very perfectionist toward other people's lives, in the nit-pickiest of ways. The difference between Mars and Saturn, I imagine, if I'm the Saturn person and she's the Mars person, she views me as someone who's too serious and "boring" while I look at her as too rash and insensitive. Or she sees me as too sensitive and helpless and needs to follow her example but it just doesn't work.

I haven't even looked at Uranus aspects. That is very interesting. By astral/psychic connection, do you perhaps mean that we feel we're meant to meet but not in a way that's completely friendly and loving? Fated but difficult? On a side note, I do sense a lot of subconscious things like whenever she's sick or feels emotionally disturbed, I feel it, too.
Uranus and Saturn would explain why we don't have a steady meet-up/reliance with each other. I require long breaks from her erratic Uranian behavior, lest I go insane. Lots of restrictions on my part.

Yes! The jealousy bit is highly apparent and it is very true! I understand Libra attracts "love triangles" and since she has Libra Mars and my husband has Libra Moon, it makes sense that this might spring forth in a different astrological perspective. With the Neptune aspects you've mentioned previously, this creates an intense undercurrent rejection of our relationship. She won't express her feelings to me and decides to "forgive and forget", leaving the whole mess unkempt and disastrous. You can't progress if you don't confront it!

Since you have my MIL's and my birth info, I'll just attach my husband's natal chart, if that's okay.
 

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rahu

Banned
hi whisper8snapper

I used your composite chart with your mother in law and it has sun opposed to a venus/Jupiter conjunction .

I ran up the tricomposite with the three of you but I will interpret it tomorrow .as tricomposite can be confusing as to who is symbolized by what, it would be helpful if you could find named asteroids for the 3 of you.

rahu
 

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Rahu,

I completely glossed over the word composite in your first message, sorry! I assumed you meant synastry and so I confused myself.

Although, I've heard that composite isn't appropriate for a relationship like this, that synastry is better for a less..."entangled" relation. But I guess having known her for nearly 3 years, composite is probably wise enough. Again, thank you for reading into it, it is highly accurate so far and I'm just so glad to have validation and proof! I thought maybe my personal interpretation was biased which is why I sought a second pair of eyes.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts tomorrow. :) I've never seen a multi-composite so I'll have to read up on how to read them while you're away.
 

rahu

Banned
hi whisper8snapper

the tri composite has Saturn opposed to the su, which indicates the situation with the 3 of you is characterized by obstructions. but the opposition especially as it is square the ascendant implies that,this might be worked out and form positive connection.

as the crux of the matter is you mother in law, the stellium of the moon ,Neptune ,eros and psyche is square to the nessus/mercury conjunction. this pattern substantiates that she has deep feelings and attraction for her son.nessus adds a "unnatural obsession and mercury /Neptune shows she is hiding these sentiments from herself. nessus suggest these are unconscious dynamics thought eros and moon make it quite obvious her feelings toward her son. psyche square to nessus suggests she ,if unconsciously, derives pleasure from the awkward emotional fixation she is placing of others.

the node is square to eris and the Jupiter/Venus midpoint which again shows there is are strong positive emotions. but eris is adding a divisive jealousy due to your mom-in-laws emotional unnatural attraction to her son.

mars and venus whould symbolize your husband and you. the midpoint is square to Uranus which shows you have a very passionate and electric connection. But Uranus can become unstable if the intensity wanes and with sun opposed to Saturn, a conflict of polar opposites is present which could destabilize your marriage. it is just my speculation but that may be the intentions of your mother in law.

the Jupiter/juno conjunction in the 5th house suggest a strong union between you and your husband, but the pluto/venus midpoint is conjunct this conjunction which suggest unconscious emotional stress may weaken, the union. I suggest you be very clear about your feelings with your husband as saying nothing will only allow any jealousies to fester.

pluto is square to orcus and the midpoint is conjunct the sun and opposed to Saturn......this is not a favorable pattern as it suggest, contrary to what I have previous said, that the problems with her will be very difficult to worked out as the root cause is unconscious.
chiron is sextile to the sun and trine to Saturn, so there is stillsome light but.....
where is his father in this equations ? the previous pattern suggest he could be helpful in clarifying the dynamics .

rahu
 

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Hello Rahu,

Saturn seems to indicate, to me, there are a lot more restrictions than a normal relationship would be between such a trio. Probably namely why we don't express certain things around each other.
How would the square to Gemini ascendant work out? I understand Gemini is lighter hearted for a composite/multi-composite, but to me it implies shallow-ness, no willingness to look into anything much deeper than what has already been established. Saturn would restrict it, no?

By attraction, how do you mean? My husband is her Golden Child (especially after he's joined the military) and I assume a physical (non-incestuous) attraction is present. Although Eros suggests to me it is incestuous, as gross as the thought is to me, haha. I've suggested it once to my husband and all he said was "gross". Unnatural obsession seems very true for her, emphasis on the unawareness.

There are quite a few mothers who like "embarrassing" their sons/daughters but from her, it doesn't feel normal. It feels deliberate and forced. From my research, Nessus is an asteroid namely focused on abuse. Are you suggesting "deriv[ing] pleasure from the awkward emotional fixation she is placing on others" is a cruel one and not as "silly" as she tries to cover it as being? I think there is much more to it than "awkward" feelings. Do you think maybe Nessus inspires her to create the appearance of distaste, like she'll try to break social etiquette just to make a "dark humorous joke" to perhaps make my husband and I feel weird/alienated? She once even called me a skinny nymph which is stereotyped as a loose woman. Whenever she jokes, she seems to be the only one enjoying it. In my opinion, she acts more like a covert bully than a mother. And at this point, I don't think she'll ever stop poking fun at my sex life and my uterus (to bear her grandchild, obviously).

In your fourth paragraph regarding Uranus, do you mean between my husband and I, it is an electric connection and the Sun-opp-Saturn aspect represents mother-in-law? Can you elaborate on "a conflict of polar opposites"? I get the impression I will be the one opposing one of the two, namely mother-in-law.

Unconscious emotional stress has, throughout our relationship, weakened our connection. I won't go into detail but essentially, the things MIL has done, it's made it harder to be around him. Because of his "strong" relationship with his mother, my husband might not listen to/believe me hence why it's hard to bring up negativities about his mother. I've done so several times in the past and in return, he's told me to try to understand her and empathize. After I've told him I've tried doing that and it failed, he dismisses her as dumb and in an attempt to solve things, he wants him and I to move out ASAP. Even though he seems to agree with me, he still holds this air of "don't talk about my mother that way" (or perhaps that's just how I perceive it), which makes me hesitate. I theorize that she's raised him to be "weaker" and "less manly", less adult, which has put a lot of stress on me, ergo stress on both of us.

Unfortunately, I do not have a complete chart for his father. I've seen his birth certificate but it doesn't have a time stated. Could I just tell you everything else about his birth information? He said he might have been born around 2am (he seems like a Sagittarius rising so on Astro.com I've put it down as 2:50am). I know this isn't very helpful.
31 Jan 1952, San Juan, Puerto Rico.

This is all certainly food for thought and I will ruminate on this. Your reading has been more like a pointing out the obvious - not that it's your fault. I greatly appreciate the elucidation and now I feel like I have something more tangible to work with. I can't thank you enough for all your help. :)
 
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rahu

Banned
How would the square to Gemini ascendant work out?

the Gemini ascendant is not the facilitating factor of working things out. the possibility of resolution is inherent in the Saturn/sun opposition. oppositions form dialectic that can be resolved in unity or estrangement.

By attraction, how do you mean? My husband is her Golden Child (especially after he's joined the military) and I assume a physical (non-incestuous) attraction is present. Although Eros suggests to me it is incestuous,

that how it seems to me

Whenever she jokes, she seems to be the only one enjoying it. In my opinion, she acts more like a covert bully than a mother

i agree. those characteristic often occurs when psyche is aspect to nessus. bullys/abusers/child molestors can have psyche aspected hard to Saturn or nessus. this can also shows up in SM type of relationships.

In your fourth paragraph regarding Uranus, do you mean between my husband and I, it is an electric connection and the Sun-opp-Saturn aspect represents mother-in-law? Can you elaborate on "a conflict of polar opposites"? I get the impression I will be the one opposing one of the two, namely mother-in-law.

yes as this is a tricomposite, she being the mother, then you and hubby would be venus/mars(children). and yes the electricity is between the two of you. the sun/Saturn opposition relates to the overall tension created by the moon and it's aspects and the venus/mars aspects.

the mars/venus midpoint square to the node highlights the force of Uranus and the sun/Saturn opposition highlights the force of Saturn in the chart.
Uranus and Saturn are polar opposites and so the tendency for emotional cohesiveness with your hubby is opposed to the tensions of the chart overall.

I think it would be more fruitful to look at the composite between hubby and MIL rather than the father at this point.
i'll get to that tomorrow
rahu

Hello Rahu,

Saturn seems to indicate, to me, there are a lot more restrictions than a normal relationship would be between such a trio. Probably namely why we don't express certain things around each other.
How would the square to Gemini ascendant work out? I understand Gemini is lighter hearted for a composite/multi-composite, but to me it implies shallow-ness, no willingness to look into anything much deeper than what has already been established. Saturn would restrict it, no?

By attraction, how do you mean? My husband is her Golden Child (especially after he's joined the military) and I assume a physical (non-incestuous) attraction is present. Although Eros suggests to me it is incestuous, as gross as the thought is to me, haha. I've suggested it once to my husband and all he said was "gross". Unnatural obsession seems very true for her, emphasis on the unawareness.

There are quite a few mothers who like "embarrassing" their sons/daughters but from her, it doesn't feel normal. It feels deliberate and forced. From my research, Nessus is an asteroid namely focused on abuse. Are you suggesting "deriv[ing] pleasure from the awkward emotional fixation she is placing on others" is a cruel one and not as "silly" as she tries to cover it as being? I think there is much more to it than "awkward" feelings. Do you think maybe Nessus inspires her to create the appearance of distaste, like she'll try to break social etiquette just to make a "dark humorous joke" to perhaps make my husband and I feel weird/alienated? She once even called me a skinny nymph which is stereotyped as a loose woman. Whenever she jokes, she seems to be the only one enjoying it. In my opinion, she acts more like a covert bully than a mother. And at this point, I don't think she'll ever stop poking fun at my sex life and my uterus (to bear her grandchild, obviously).

In your fourth paragraph regarding Uranus, do you mean between my husband and I, it is an electric connection and the Sun-opp-Saturn aspect represents mother-in-law? Can you elaborate on "a conflict of polar opposites"? I get the impression I will be the one opposing one of the two, namely mother-in-law.

Unconscious emotional stress has, throughout our relationship, weakened our connection. I won't go into detail but essentially, the things MIL has done, it's made it harder to be around him. Because of his "strong" relationship with his mother, my husband might not listen to/believe me hence why it's hard to bring up negativities about his mother. I've done so several times in the past and in return, he's told me to try to understand her and empathize. After I've told him I've tried doing that and it failed, he dismisses her as dumb and in an attempt to solve things, he wants him and I to move out ASAP. Even though he seems to agree with me, he still holds this air of "don't talk about my mother that way" (or perhaps that's just how I perceive it), which makes me hesitate. I theorize that she's raised him to be "weaker" and "less manly", less adult, which has put a lot of stress on me, ergo stress on both of us.

Unfortunately, I do not have a complete chart for his father. I've seen his birth certificate but it doesn't have a time stated. Could I just tell you everything else about his birth information? He said he might have been born around 2am (he seems like a Sagittarius rising so on Astro.com I've put it down as 2:50am). I know this isn't very helpful.
31 Jan 1952, San Juan, Puerto Rico.

This is all certainly food for thought and I will ruminate on this. Your reading has been more like a pointing out the obvious - not that it's your fault. I greatly appreciate the elucidation and now I feel like I have something more tangible to work with. I can't thank you enough for all your help. :)
 

rahu

Banned
I ran up the composite with hubby and mom-in-law.

the aspects support what we have been discussing.

interestingly the moon is conjunct psyche, and these are square the mars/nessus conjunction. mars/nessus is a sexual impulse.
the eros/psyche midpoint is conjunct to venus, showing a very romantic feeling. I also notice but did not mention that in the tri composite the midpoint of the eros/psyche square conjunct the moon which would also give the same romantic feelings in that composite.

Jupiter is conjunct to juno and opposed to Saturn which shows a very strong loyalty. this makes me think that he would choose his mother over you if push comes to shove.
though Neptune is opposed chiron on the asc/dsc axis . this shows the hidden nature of the relationship though it would seem to be a destabilizing influence also.

the son conjunct to ceres emphasizes the strength of the protective maternal instinct

the mars/venus midpoint is square the moon/pholous conjunction again shows a very strong emotional physical attraction that is hidden.

rahu
 

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This is getting progressively more gross, haha. If these impulses exist, it's certainly buried very deep down in her psyche. My theory is that because her marriage is loveless and sexless, she looks at her son, especially with my presence, as the...well. You know. I'm just thinking she probably subconsciously projects through me to be with her son. Maybe it isn't inherently sexual but it does heavily imply, based on her actions and bizarre ideas, that she wants me to do things she thinks she would do as his girlfriend. Like once, she had me send him a lock of my hair, even though I thought it was a weird idea. My husband immediately threw it away because he thought it was gross. With our wedding, we didn't want to do anything big but she had me go dress shopping with her and she got me a bouquet and a flower crown to "make me feel special" - although I ended up feeling like I wasn't me. The gestures are all well and good but she never seems to stop and think what we actually want. What I actually want.

I wonder, though: based off either the multi-composite or the composite between only them, why does she seem to never show this affection? There is definitely that maternal theme where she wants what's best for him, to the point of being a typical mom and constantly reminding him about his responsibilities. But I rarely if ever see her hug him or show any kind of pride in him, I rarely see her displaying anything loving. I know "people show affection in different ways", but looking at their composite, that Venus looks rather lonely, as does the Moon. Asteroids are important but something tells me they don't make it as obvious how one "displays" something. Perhaps the Moon in 6th makes it more "business-like", introverted in their feelings? There is, after all, an asteroid stellium in the 6th. Chiron in the 1st must somehow be damaging, especially square to Saturn and Jupiter. They must have a difficult time getting close to each other in the ideal way she visualizes it.

Hm. Yeah, I fear that the more I push for him to see her as the person who I think she is, the more he's likely going to push me away. I figured, before, that this was just typical family loyalty but according to your reading, it's much deeper than that. I fear of what I might do next...
The Sun conjunct Ceres in Cancer would emphasize family loyalty and closeness, protectiveness and such. There is no possible way I can break a bond like that but it isn't my goal to make him hate her. I just want him to see what I see so she can finally seek help. I truly believe she needs it because she seems to not be at all satisfied with her life and instead of beating herself up, she puts others down - like a bully. What's worse is that it's all subconscious, so you can't just point it out to her, otherwise she'll deny it and make herself seem further like the victim (as she does with her husband).

Rahu, your reading has been exceedingly helpful in clarifying my paranoid thoughts on this situation. I thought I was going crazy, being overly obsessive and going in the wrong direction because my husband would keep dissuading me (which made me doubt). It would be too much to ask for advice at this point because you've gone above and beyond my expectations from my original post. All I can say is thank you.
 

rahu

Banned
This is getting progressively more gross, haha. If these impulses exist, it's certainly buried very deep down in her psyche. My theory is that because her marriage is loveless and sexless, she looks at her son, especially with my presence, as the...well. You know. I'm just thinking she probably subconsciously projects through me to be with her son. Maybe it isn't inherently sexual but it does heavily imply, based on her actions and bizarre ideas, that she wants me to do things she thinks she would do as his girlfriend. Like once, she had me send him a lock of my hair, even though I thought it was a weird idea. My husband immediately threw it away because he thought it was gross. With our wedding, we didn't want to do anything big but she had me go dress shopping with her and she got me a bouquet and a flower crown to "make me feel special" - although I ended up feeling like I wasn't me. The gestures are all well and good but she never seems to stop and think what we actually want. What I actually want.

I wonder, though: based off either the multi-composite or the composite between only them, why does she seem to never show this affection? There is definitely that maternal theme where she wants what's best for him, to the point of being a typical mom and constantly reminding him about his responsibilities. But I rarely if ever see her hug him or show any kind of pride in him, I rarely see her displaying anything loving. I know "people show affection in different ways", but looking at their composite, that Venus looks rather lonely, as does the Moon. Asteroids are important but something tells me they don't make it as obvious how one "displays" something. Perhaps the Moon in 6th makes it more "business-like", introverted in their feelings? There is, after all, an asteroid stellium in the 6th. Chiron in the 1st must somehow be damaging, especially square to Saturn and Jupiter. They must have a difficult time getting close to each other in the ideal way she visualizes it.

Hm. Yeah, I fear that the more I push for him to see her as the person who I think she is, the more he's likely going to push me away. I figured, before, that this was just typical family loyalty but according to your reading, it's much deeper than that. I fear of what I might do next...
The Sun conjunct Ceres in Cancer would emphasize family loyalty and closeness, protectiveness and such. There is no possible way I can break a bond like that but it isn't my goal to make him hate her. I just want him to see what I see so she can finally seek help. I truly believe she needs it because she seems to not be at all satisfied with her life and instead of beating herself up, she puts others down - like a bully. What's worse is that it's all subconscious, so you can't just point it out to her, otherwise she'll deny it and make herself seem further like the victim (as she does with her husband).

Rahu, your reading has been exceedingly helpful in clarifying my paranoid thoughts on this situation. I thought I was going crazy, being overly obsessive and going in the wrong direction because my husband would keep dissuading me (which made me doubt). It would be too much to ask for advice at this point because you've gone above and beyond my expectations from my original post. All I can say is thank you.

whisper8snapper
you certainly have a excellent grasp of the dynamics of charts for one so young( no condescension intended )


why does she seem to never show this affection?

looking at her natal , it seems her emotional inhibitions are a function of the chiron/moon/sun t square and the Saturn/pluto midpoint conjunct to the sun and therefore affecting the T square .this likely is why she doesn't show emotion as the blocking pluto/Saturn is opposed to her moon,the fount of all emotional reactions.
Saturn/pluto with the sun suggest a abusive or incestual environment in her life. Saturn implies her father, so her impulse toward her son may be preconditioned by her father.
in addition orcus is square to the vertex/mars conjunction which suggest the sexual/abusive orientation toward her son.

moon square to chiron can give a very analytical and critical attitude toward relationships. this aspect gives the desire to totally understand how others think, resonse and sense each other. but because of the critical nature of this aspect, these impulses of knowledge can come out as bitchyness .
chiron/moon can be very cold especially if offended and very often grudges can be held for extended periods.

another dynamic I've noticed is the sun/chiron midpoint is square to Venus and likewise the moon/chiron midpoint is sesiquiquadrate to venus. Venus symbolizing you, this would be a reason why she "picks " on you, all her crical perspectives focus on venus/you. as this is in her natal it seems it is not your personally but rather her nature nature. you might ask your hubby if he had this problem with any other girl friends he might have had.

there is another significant aspect to her chart that is quite interesting and may not directly be related to your concerns but certainly has to affect her perspective of reality .

she has a conjunction of the nodal axis and the lilith axis on the ascendant
this is an aspect of exceptional psychic abilities. intuition are usually very accurate and her abilities include directly reading others minds .

ju8piter is square to these .this gives intelligence and a sense of being an authority figure so I assume she doesn't see you as anything but a "subject" to her and therefore she doesn't try to have a dialogue with you rather she feels she must "instruct " you as an inferior.
coupled with her "psychic abilities , I think she is impervious to criticism but her unconscious abusive dynamics are interfering with her potential for a "clear" perspective of her reality and her own behavior.
rahu
 
Rahu,

I'll take the compliment. :) I still have a lot to learn!


I figure the houses also play a big role, now that you've pointed out the T-square. Chiron in 12th suggests to me that there is denial of the subconscious. Every time she "dives into it", she gets frightened (as most people do when they attempt introspection). Moon in 9th, she likely fears greater concepts that attack her belief system (hence why she's so apt to be Agnostic). And I'd go as far to say that, because it's the Moon, maternal traits are present: she has one solid way she thinks is absolutely right and correct (assertion coming from Capricorn qualities) about parenting (which is why she fights with her husband so frequently about raising kids (also why she takes it extremely personally when someone criticizes her parenting skills, even if they're trying to be nice)). Square to the Sun in 2nd, emphasis on taking it personally. It wounds her ego to be criticized. And I would say, because her Sun is in 0 degrees and is afflicted in Cancer, she tries to skirt around everything in a child-like way. The T-square makes her very sensitive, especially considering it's mostly a water T-square.

Spot on again, Rahu. :) From what she's told me, her father was verbally abusive - I'm not sure what the extent of his abuse was but from what she told me, he would make very similar nasty jokes to her as she does toward her family. An example being "that chicken your eating is the neighbor's chicken!" and of course this would upset a child since, you know, children love animals for the most part. Other things he would do is act like he never had time for her and only had room for his two sons. I definitely believe that her father's abuse made an impression on her psyche and now she views all men as disgusting like him. Her husband is basically the replacement, hence why she picks fights with him all the time, even when he wasn't trying to be intruding.

I wish I knew more about her relationship with my husband because so far, I only know that she would use him as essentially a child therapist because she had so many woes about her husband. He would help her with anything she ever asked for, even when he didn't want to. I fear that if I ask about anything deeper than that, my husband will deny it.

Chiron-Moon is likely also why she constantly stares at me, formulating some sick joke in her head about the way I do X, Y, and Z. For instance, she always watches me while I eat so she can remark the way in which I go about it (which, I eat perfectly normally but slower than average). Another example is that she stares at me if I'm wearing make-up just so she can tell me what she thinks about it. I'm okay with the compliment but I mind the staring. Normal people glance and compliment, not stare for several seconds trying to think up what to say. She stares at everyone, especially younger people, as if she's playing God Himself: judging and analyzing but only to point out how ridiculous you are. She even makes fun of her best friend's habits and interests!

Ah see, Chiron-Moon: she does in fact hold grudges. She tells me she doesn't unless it involves her children (leading back to my first paragraph), but I've noticed she gets offended and holds grudges against her brother-in-law who she thinks is a liar. She doesn't like him because she "worries" about all the women he's ever been with and how they've been "abused" by his lies. I can't verify this, since when I met him, he seems perfectly okay. Maybe misinformed here and there but I wouldn't know about lying, per se. The point is that she hates him for reasons beyond children.

That's very interesting about the Venus aspect. My husband kept his past girlfriends to himself. His mother rarely met any of them so I can't comment on it. And even when they did meet, it was only temporary because he would soon break up with her. I'll have to ask.
My theory is, however, that if she were to have better known his past girlfriends, she would have soon criticized them, like you said. I know she criticized one of my BIL's friends. She called her, essentially, a whore. She only said it because they seem to be pretty close and she could tell the girl likes my BIL, despite already dating someone else. I imagine Natal Venus in Leo would have a penchant for drama like this, too.

Oh boy, it's so spot on, it saddens me. :( This explains why she never listens to me nor anyone she sees as lesser. Even her best friend who's older than her, she tries to instruct. She talks down on anyone who doesn't "exactly" seem to understand a concept. She will explain to you like you're brain dead and in a very impatient voice, too. I wish I was joking or lying but she in fact did it today with her friend. I've always considered her to have a Princess Complex but from what you're telling me, she has a Goddess Complex! This is why I feel belittled, this is why I feel she belittles her husband, my husband, her own boss, her male coworkers, my BIL and any female coworker that doesn't seem to be doing things exactly as how she wants it to be.
Trouble with all of this is that she covers it up really well, to the point where everyone denies she's evil. They put up with her, they make excuses up for her. She guilts everyone automatically because she has Lupus, asthma, allergies and arthritis. And to top it all off, she plays the victim. She's made everyone else believe her husband abuses her, when in fact, I see him getting his buttons pushed and he acts out in a way that seems to "prove her point". He tries to take control and she fights him. I wish I had an accurate birth time for him so I could better be able to understand why he doesn't properly stand up for himself.

Thanks again, Rahu, for all your patience and helpful readings. I'm amazed that you didn't know a thing about her and yet you were able to tell me all about her as if you've been friends for years. If only I had the guts to tell her all this.
 
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