Rahu,
I'll take the compliment.

I still have a lot to learn!
I figure the houses also play a big role, now that you've pointed out the T-square. Chiron in 12th suggests to me that there is denial of the subconscious. Every time she "dives into it", she gets frightened (as most people do when they attempt introspection). Moon in 9th, she likely fears greater concepts that attack her belief system (hence why she's so apt to be Agnostic). And I'd go as far to say that, because it's the Moon, maternal traits are present: she has one solid way she thinks is absolutely right and correct (assertion coming from Capricorn qualities) about parenting (which is why she fights with her husband so frequently about raising kids (also why she takes it extremely personally when someone criticizes her parenting skills, even if they're trying to be nice)). Square to the Sun in 2nd, emphasis on taking it personally. It wounds her ego to be criticized. And I would say, because her Sun is in 0 degrees and is afflicted in Cancer, she tries to skirt around everything in a child-like way. The T-square makes her very sensitive, especially considering it's mostly a water T-square.
Spot on again, Rahu.

From what she's told me, her father was verbally abusive - I'm not sure what the extent of his abuse was but from what she told me, he would make very similar nasty jokes to her as she does toward her family. An example being "that chicken your eating is the neighbor's chicken!" and of course this would upset a child since, you know, children love animals for the most part. Other things he would do is act like he never had time for her and only had room for his two sons. I definitely believe that her father's abuse made an impression on her psyche and now she views all men as disgusting like him. Her husband is basically the replacement, hence why she picks fights with him all the time, even when he wasn't trying to be intruding.
I wish I knew more about her relationship with my husband because so far, I only know that she would use him as essentially a child therapist because she had so many woes about her husband. He would help her with anything she ever asked for, even when he didn't want to. I fear that if I ask about anything deeper than that, my husband will deny it.
Chiron-Moon is likely also why she constantly stares at me, formulating some sick joke in her head about the way I do X, Y, and Z. For instance, she always watches me while I eat so she can remark the way in which I go about it (which, I eat perfectly normally but slower than average). Another example is that she stares at me if I'm wearing make-up just so she can tell me what she thinks about it. I'm okay with the compliment but I mind the staring. Normal people glance and compliment, not stare for several seconds trying to think up what to say. She stares at everyone, especially younger people, as if she's playing God Himself: judging and analyzing but only to point out how ridiculous you are. She even makes fun of her best friend's habits and interests!
Ah see, Chiron-Moon: she does in fact hold grudges. She tells me she doesn't unless it involves her children (leading back to my first paragraph), but I've noticed she gets offended and holds grudges against her brother-in-law who she thinks is a liar. She doesn't like him because she "worries" about all the women he's ever been with and how they've been "abused" by his lies. I can't verify this, since when I met him, he seems perfectly okay. Maybe misinformed here and there but I wouldn't know about lying, per se. The point is that she hates him for reasons beyond children.
That's very interesting about the Venus aspect. My husband kept his past girlfriends to himself. His mother rarely met any of them so I can't comment on it. And even when they did meet, it was only temporary because he would soon break up with her. I'll have to ask.
My theory is, however, that if she were to have better known his past girlfriends, she would have soon criticized them, like you said. I know she criticized one of my BIL's friends. She called her, essentially, a whore. She only said it because they seem to be pretty close and she could tell the girl likes my BIL, despite already dating someone else. I imagine Natal Venus in Leo would have a penchant for drama like this, too.
Oh boy, it's so spot on, it saddens me.

This explains why she never listens to me nor anyone she sees as lesser. Even her best friend who's older than her, she tries to instruct. She talks down on anyone who doesn't "exactly" seem to understand a concept. She will explain to you like you're brain dead and in a very impatient voice, too. I wish I was joking or lying but she in fact did it today with her friend. I've always considered her to have a Princess Complex but from what you're telling me, she has a Goddess Complex! This is why I feel belittled, this is why I feel she belittles her husband, my husband, her own boss, her male coworkers, my BIL and any female coworker that doesn't seem to be doing things exactly as how she wants it to be.
Trouble with all of this is that she covers it up really well, to the point where everyone denies she's evil. They put up with her, they make excuses up for her. She guilts everyone automatically because she has Lupus, asthma, allergies and arthritis. And to top it all off, she plays the victim. She's made everyone else believe her husband abuses her, when in fact, I see him getting his buttons pushed and he acts out in a way that seems to "prove her point". He tries to take control and she fights him. I wish I had an accurate birth time for him so I could better be able to understand why he doesn't properly stand up for himself.
Thanks again, Rahu, for all your patience and helpful readings. I'm amazed that you didn't know a thing about her and yet you were able to tell me all about her as if you've been friends for years. If only I had the guts to tell her all this.