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Scorpio - any insight on transformation?
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<blockquote data-quote="raqun" data-source="post: 482624" data-attributes="member: 38219"><p>I have read trough Vitas thread and there is a lot of helpful advice that also applies to me in there. At the beginning of this year, I also started my karate training (Uechi-Ryu) and it's been going realy well. It's a form of meditation that soothes me to some degree. I could and should have done it much sooner, because my father is the teacher (Sag Sun), he has been teaching for 35 years.</p><p></p><p>I too see a lot of problems when looking at my chart that are making the already hard path to transformation, extremely difficult. The main two would be:</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The lack of air:<br /> <br /> The ability to rise above my problems, look at them objectively and find constructive solutions - I am dead in the water on this one. That's why I try to gather answers everywhere, it's so hard finding them in myself, by myself. My girlfriend is an amazing libra rising, she has become my window to the world, but I know I drain her too much and I don't want to lean on her for this. Is there anything, you think, that may manifest some air in me. Does my gemmini/3d chiron have the potential to heal some of this? The ruler mercury is in my scorpio and I must admit I feel a lot better when I give someone an astrological advice. When they get it and say thank you. That is why I truly believe this is for me, so I will try to get good at it. But I don't think this alone is enough to help me objectively look at my self and decisions that affect me, my personal space/close ones.<br /> <br /> </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">South node occupiing the scorpio/8ght stellium<br /> <br /> I am the definition of a pessimist. I can try to force myself in to being positive about things but I can't fool my feelings. I admit, I drain a lot of energy from those around me. I feel bad about it so I try to give it back in any way I know how. With great loyalty, art, touch, intuition (but it doesn't always work because i'm often infested by anxiety), technical know-how, friendly advice/now astrological too. I feel the worse when it comes to my GF. She tries to help me cheer up every time I seem stressed (and that's A LOT) and presents me with objective and positive reasons why I'm a complete idiot for being sad. I drain her out with this, I know.. so when she is feeling down, I just can't seem to be able to help her with communicating a cheerful thing. So I draw her something beautiful, clean the flat, try to be very nice, stroke her hair.. She appreciates this very much, but I can't offer her optimism, which she needs at those times <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> The whole me seems plutonic, but my saturn is very strong, at least it feels that way. My three personal planets seem greatly afflicted (and in some ways, helped) by these two's dark sides.<br /> <br /> I read Celeste Teals book on nodes and let me tell you, I found it fascinating. I do believe that a lot of my redemption lies in Taurus/2nd House with venus in 9th, I just have problems staying on that path.. It's very hard to find or get a job now days and a lot of people use connections to get a job or cheaper accommodation. I too have been getting small opportunities like that but have a kind off "NOT RIGHT" feeling about it constantly. I got my current job after a year of searching, on my own, without any connections and it feels right, even though i had "sketchy" offers but didn't want to take them. It drove me to be pretty much broke and in debt and after two years I am still in -0 on my account. I am now trying to be more open about these things, like we got (my GF an I) a place trough a connection for a very cheap price, but without any papers or anything. I still feel nervous about it, but it is a beautiful place in a beautiful location and it feels like home. I need to be able to at least make my own ecosystem work, sometimes in gray ways (because times are, actually tough), without feeling like a bad person for it. I can't help but resent and not trust politicians, business men and anyone who uses diplomatic half truths to get their needs and egos satisfied. I feel bad resenting anyone, but I do, and so have issues getting things I need or want for myself.</li> </ul><p></p><p>Thank you for so openly offering your advice <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> . Peace</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="raqun, post: 482624, member: 38219"] I have read trough Vitas thread and there is a lot of helpful advice that also applies to me in there. At the beginning of this year, I also started my karate training (Uechi-Ryu) and it's been going realy well. It's a form of meditation that soothes me to some degree. I could and should have done it much sooner, because my father is the teacher (Sag Sun), he has been teaching for 35 years. I too see a lot of problems when looking at my chart that are making the already hard path to transformation, extremely difficult. The main two would be: [LIST] [*]The lack of air: The ability to rise above my problems, look at them objectively and find constructive solutions - I am dead in the water on this one. That's why I try to gather answers everywhere, it's so hard finding them in myself, by myself. My girlfriend is an amazing libra rising, she has become my window to the world, but I know I drain her too much and I don't want to lean on her for this. Is there anything, you think, that may manifest some air in me. Does my gemmini/3d chiron have the potential to heal some of this? The ruler mercury is in my scorpio and I must admit I feel a lot better when I give someone an astrological advice. When they get it and say thank you. That is why I truly believe this is for me, so I will try to get good at it. But I don't think this alone is enough to help me objectively look at my self and decisions that affect me, my personal space/close ones. [*]South node occupiing the scorpio/8ght stellium I am the definition of a pessimist. I can try to force myself in to being positive about things but I can't fool my feelings. I admit, I drain a lot of energy from those around me. I feel bad about it so I try to give it back in any way I know how. With great loyalty, art, touch, intuition (but it doesn't always work because i'm often infested by anxiety), technical know-how, friendly advice/now astrological too. I feel the worse when it comes to my GF. She tries to help me cheer up every time I seem stressed (and that's A LOT) and presents me with objective and positive reasons why I'm a complete idiot for being sad. I drain her out with this, I know.. so when she is feeling down, I just can't seem to be able to help her with communicating a cheerful thing. So I draw her something beautiful, clean the flat, try to be very nice, stroke her hair.. She appreciates this very much, but I can't offer her optimism, which she needs at those times :( The whole me seems plutonic, but my saturn is very strong, at least it feels that way. My three personal planets seem greatly afflicted (and in some ways, helped) by these two's dark sides. I read Celeste Teals book on nodes and let me tell you, I found it fascinating. I do believe that a lot of my redemption lies in Taurus/2nd House with venus in 9th, I just have problems staying on that path.. It's very hard to find or get a job now days and a lot of people use connections to get a job or cheaper accommodation. I too have been getting small opportunities like that but have a kind off "NOT RIGHT" feeling about it constantly. I got my current job after a year of searching, on my own, without any connections and it feels right, even though i had "sketchy" offers but didn't want to take them. It drove me to be pretty much broke and in debt and after two years I am still in -0 on my account. I am now trying to be more open about these things, like we got (my GF an I) a place trough a connection for a very cheap price, but without any papers or anything. I still feel nervous about it, but it is a beautiful place in a beautiful location and it feels like home. I need to be able to at least make my own ecosystem work, sometimes in gray ways (because times are, actually tough), without feeling like a bad person for it. I can't help but resent and not trust politicians, business men and anyone who uses diplomatic half truths to get their needs and egos satisfied. I feel bad resenting anyone, but I do, and so have issues getting things I need or want for myself. [/LIST] Thank you for so openly offering your advice :) . Peace [/QUOTE]
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