Saturn opposition North Node, What is the lesson?

[midnight sun]

I have Saturn opposition Venus and North Node. I was usually interested in its Venus aspect. But I realize that if Saturn is in opposition with NN, then it's in conjunction to South Node.

And as Saturn is the teacher and karma planet, with the nodes of Moon, there must be a serious lesson I have to learn. I'm living an endless emotional pain for years. There must be a solution for it. And I'm trying to find out it from my birth chart. I know the problems about Saturn-Venus aspect. I just want to know the role of nodes in this play.

And South Node with Saturn means my roots is forcing me to learn things?

 

[midnight sun]

Thank you Olivia. Most of the things you're telling is true. Well, as I'm still young, maybe I haven't experience all of the causes...

I couldn't find a job for the last 3 years so I still can't earn my own money. I'm still taking money from my family. And I believe even if I reach the career I want, there won't be a richness, there will be a standart amount of money. But I'm used to this idea if I achieve things for myself.

Perhaps I won't get marry because of that aspect but I'm not sure if these are fate. Because I try hard to solve things more than anyone else. It's like I'm giving all of life and time to solve it.

You've said Venus has no aspect to my Asc. But it has. Venus has 150 degree aspect to Asc and Uranus and makes a triangle like Yod. And today, Saturn conjuncts my Asc and awakes the triangle. It's so stressful I can't tell. Few years are left for Saturn to conjunct South n. and Saturn. I can't even think what can happen.

 

[waybread]

I'm living an endless emotional pain for years. There must be a solution for it. ...And South Node with Saturn means my roots is forcing me to learn things?

If you are in endless emotional pain, please get a thorough check-up with your family doctor, and then discuss getting a referal to a clinical psychologist. Sometimes there is a physical basis for our emotional pain, such as depression, and sometimes there are real-life circumstances that can improve with some expert coaching.

If I look for emotional pain in your chart, I am really struck by your Mars/sun opposed by Neptune. Mars/Sun is a real "I gotta be me!" conjunction with considerable energy behind it. Yet Neptune dissolves or erases what it touches. It seems like no matter how hard you try, you end up disillusioned. Neptune in the 3rd might indicate sibling problems. You also very nearly have a Thor's Hammer pointing to your sun/Mars conjunction, so you really need to express it in a dynamic, volatile way.

Just be really careful not to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. These are common pitfalls for people with hard sun/Neptune aspects, but they won't get you where you need to go.

So a good astrological self-help thing would be to look for ways to balance these factors in your opposition. How can you combine them in a constructive way? With your sun/Mars in Cancer, any kind of water related activity or sport should be beneficial. Mars rules athletes. In the 9th house, you might benefit from some travel, as well.

Saturn conjunct your SN can lead to feelings of being stuck in your rut. So use your sun/Mars energy to break out into some new directions. Starting with your physical health.

 

[midnight sun]

If you are in endless emotional pain, please get a thorough check-up with your family doctor, and then discuss getting a referal to a clinical psychologist. Sometimes there is a physical basis for our emotional pain, such as depression, and sometimes there are real-life circumstances that can improve with some expert coaching.

If I look for emotional pain in your chart, I am really struck by your Mars/sun opposed by Neptune. Mars/Sun is a real "I gotta be me!" conjunction with considerable energy behind it. Yet Neptune dissolves or erases what it touches. It seems like no matter how hard you try, you end up disillusioned. Neptune in the 3rd might indicate sibling problems. You also very nearly have a Thor's Hammer pointing to your sun/Mars conjunction, so you really need to express it in a dynamic, volatile way.

Just be really careful not to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. These are common pitfalls for people with hard sun/Neptune aspects, but they won't get you where you need to go.

So a good astrological self-help thing would be to look for ways to balance these factors in your opposition. How can you combine them in a constructive way? With your sun/Mars in Cancer, any kind of water related activity or sport should be beneficial. Mars rules athletes. In the 9th house, you might benefit from some travel, as well.

Saturn conjunct your SN can lead to feelings of being stuck in your rut. So use your sun/Mars energy to break out into some new directions. Starting with your physical health.

Thanks waybread. I'm taking therapies and pills for a long time. Taking constantly pills don't mean I'm healed. These methods unfortunately didn't help. I learned more things about myself with alternative methods. But again unfortunately, because it's hard for me to understand what is real, spritiual methods were unsuccessful. I don't know what to do.

Yes travelling makes me feel very good, especially being on road. But now I'm on abroad. I have opened threads about it because my 9th house sun is failed. I feel my pain more here. Because I'm totally alone. And probably the main problem is my loneliness and the impossibility of relationships for me. Because I'm so disappointed with people. And I see through them. I just can't live like other people do. And this is so painful.

Maybe I have to accept this. But it's not so easy. Here in the room I locked myself, I'm forced to face my problems and pain. Thanks to Saturn for this party.

And there are things make my Mars comfortable for sure. But doing them means escaping from the reality and delaying to solve problems.

 

[midnight sun]

Thanks again Olivia. There are very good things and motives about my chart. I'm just trying to improve them more but deep problems pulls me to themselves. So that's the reason why I've asked about Nodes of Moons. Because I feel whatever I do in my life, there are some certain issues unsolved, coming in front of me over and over.

That's true, my Mars is in fall, sometimes causes me to feel doubt about myself. But I don't lose my hope about it. Because I have solved lots of problems till my this young age, 25. It was hard, but I have put it in my mind.

Yes, I couldn't find myself in the one-Goded religions. I'm trying create my own belief system as 9th house told me. Again that was the other reason of asking the Nodes. Because I believe I'm carrying some problems which comes from the past of my family. I don't know certainly but i feel more close to the belives of Shamans. I'm a kind of person who can give all her life to these beliefs but first I have to release from my fears.

Other good things are I have a powerful energy which I could use to help people and I use sometimes. I don't know how to control it and reflect it to myself. When it's positively, I can pull myself very useful people and also can help them more. Even if I don't know them. But I have to learn to use it. Otherwise it's harming me.

 

[waybread]

If you're on medication and it is not helping, you need to change your dosage, or get different medication. If the doctor you have now is not helping you, you need a different doctor. Sometimes when people are depressed, bipolar, &c, they get on a regime of medication that doesn't help them, but sometimes the problem is the specific prescription/s, not the potential benefit of treating the disorders.

You might try yoga. I know someone who is bipolar, and who refused to take drugs for it. Yoga helped her so much that she now teaches it. This will help balance all kinds of energies for you.

You have a very strong Venus, in its own sign of Taurus, conjunct your north node. If you have any kind of artistic talent, now would be the time to develop it, even if you have no training in it. See if you can express your moods through music, or by keeping a sketch book. Or model something in clay. This will help to strengthen your north node.

 

[dr. farr]

Interesting that you were born in the city after which the tradition I (mostly) follow especially in horary astrology, is named: Ankara

Anyway, I follow (in my eclectic approach) the old time concept of elevated and pitted degrees (the celestial topography as it was once called) Natal Saturn is in a pitted degree, meaning in essence that its influence (including its disruptive or malefic influence) in this chart is largely (if not completely) neutralized (meaning it is doing little or nothing in this chart) Further, Saturn is too far from the South Node to be conjunct it (that's lucky!) but is within orb of opposition to the North Node and possibly also to Venus (the Ankara tradition-!-had a maximum orb for opposition of 6 degrees) But, as I said above, with Saturn in a pit and thus neutralized, these oppositions don't mean much (again, this is if one gives credence to the old time doctrine of elevated and pitted degrees) Thus for me I don't see Saturn as a significant cause of problems in this chart. Actually (from the perspective I am elaborating here) Saturn is "deficient" in this chart, and would need energetic support ("Saturn supplementation") rather than opposing the saturnine qualities and energies (which, here, are "blocked" by the pitted state of that planet)
I agree with the excellent previous delineations and fully accept MARS as the disturbing, disruptive and challenging celestial influence in this nativity...

 

[midnight sun]

Interesting that you were born in the city after which the tradition I (mostly) follow especially in horary astrology, is named: Ankara

Anyway, I follow (in my eclectic approach) the old time concept of elevated and pitted degrees (the celestial topography as it was once called) Natal Saturn is in a pitted degree, meaning in essence that its influence (including its disruptive or malefic influence) in this chart is largely (if not completely) neutralized (meaning it is doing little or nothing in this chart) Further, Saturn is too far from the South Node to be conjunct it (that's lucky!) but is within orb of opposition to the North Node and possibly also to Venus (the Ankara tradition-!-had a maximum orb for opposition of 6 degrees) But, as I said above, with Saturn in a pit and thus neutralized, these oppositions don't mean much (again, this is if one gives credence to the old time doctrine of elevated and pitted degrees) Thus for me I don't see Saturn as a significant cause of problems in this chart. Actually (from the perspective I am elaborating here) Saturn is "deficient" in this chart, and would need energetic support ("Saturn supplementation") rather than opposing the saturnine qualities and energies (which, here, are "blocked" by the pitted state of that planet)
I agree with the excellent previous delineations and fully accept MARS as the disturbing, disruptive and challenging celestial influence in this nativity...

I wonder if the tradition you're telling is something to do about the city or just a name similarity?
Yes in one case, you're right. My Saturn is deficient and I'm trying to develop it for years. And in its transits, I was able to achieve hard things. But I'm confused. Because I am also taking pills for being in emotional balance. So I don't know if pills cause me to achieve things, or Saturn, or Saturn causes me to take pills

In the birth card I found at home, my birth hour was written 14.00 and it was not a natural birth. So I believe it but there is a possibility it can change a few minutes.
I feel Saturn in some situations very much. You see my Venus is not just in an aspect with Saturn, there is also Jupiter. That causes dilemmas. Fearing of sexuality one minute, the other minute the opposite...In a Saturn transit to my Venus and NN, I started astrology and energy work but I had to leave it because I was so obsessed and in fear.

Because I couldn't understand what is reality. Hmmm, while I'm writing I'm confused again now. Ok lack of a real vision means lack of Saturn but what about obsessions and fears? They put an obstacle to my way, I couldn't go far. Also I have problems with my feminity. I couldn't accept the separation between man and woman. I don't want them to be different. That means I will neve be understood. And be loved in a way I need to.

 

[midnight sun]

If you're on medication and it is not helping, you need to change your dosage, or get different medication. If the doctor you have now is not helping you, you need a different doctor. Sometimes when people are depressed, bipolar, &c, they get on a regime of medication that doesn't help them, but sometimes the problem is the specific prescription/s, not the potential benefit of treating the disorders.

You might try yoga. I know someone who is bipolar, and who refused to take drugs for it. Yoga helped her so much that she now teaches it. This will help balance all kinds of energies for you.

You have a very strong Venus, in its own sign of Taurus, conjunct your north node. If you have any kind of artistic talent, now would be the time to develop it, even if you have no training in it. See if you can express your moods through music, or by keeping a sketch book. Or model something in clay. This will help to strengthen your north node.

I'll try them all one day, waybread. I didn't give up on myself. As you see here I'm still trying to find answers. I didn't do simple meditation, I do energy work for improving fire element in me and opened the root chakra. I was told to do it but my master didn't stand near me. So soon I lost my reality. These are danger for me, because of Neptune. I had so many fears and obsessions, I had to last them.

Bu my mind is still there and I have to educate myself for it first I think. And yoga, I'm thinking it for the last year. I have a feeling that it might work. Well, I think sports always work. If I change my lifestyle, things can get better a little. The main reason I'm asking about Nodes is I just need a reason for my pain. I believe there must be a reason for my loneliness and being loveless. If this is really something I must fight for to learn, I'll do it. I saw many people lived like that doing nothing, I don't believe our charts want it from us. It must want something to be done.

And thanks for one thing, you caused me to realize...I couldn't do anything with my music for years and it's also another pain inside me. I understand now why it is like that.

 

[waybread]

Thank you for your feedback, Midnight Sun! It is how I learn astrology, as well as advising.

One thing that strikes me about your posts is that you seem to feel so powerless. See what you can do to change this, even if it is through very small "baby steps" in your life. For example, if you can pick up some paper and a pencil, start sketching some pictures in ways that express your feelings. Look at ways you can take more control over small parts of your life. The universe tends to notice such things.

If your Mars seems weak, wear more red (his colour) and spend a little time every day in a Mars activity, such as getting more physical exercise--especially out of doors. To strengthen your sun, wear more gold jewelry (the sun's colour and metal) and get some real sunlight on your face every day, even in bad weather.

To strengthen Saturn, note that he rewards hard work, patience, getting by with little, and other old-fashioned virtues. If there is a task you know you should do but you have been delaying on it, now is the time to get it done. Saturn rules older people, so if you have an older relative nearby who would enjoy a visit from you, this would strengthen your Saturn. Focusing on someone less fortunate than yourself is always a good way to gain perspective. Saturn rules pottery-making (ceramics) and sculpture, so these might be a good hobbies for you, as they would also activate your Venus. One of his colours is dark green. If you can find some onyx jewelry, or a specimen in a rock shop, this is one of Saturn's stones.

If you can just start with the small steps, you should find the big ones are easier.

But again, there is oftentimes a physical cause of mental conditions, so make sure you are eating nutritious foods, taking a vitamin/mineral pill if you can't, and getting some outdoor exercise. These steps will also help you to take control over your life.

 

[midnight sun]

Thank you for your feedback, Midnight Sun! It is how I learn astrology, as well as advising.

One thing that strikes me about your posts is that you seem to feel so powerless. See what you can do to change this, even if it is through very small "baby steps" in your life. For example, if you can pick up some paper and a pencil, start sketching some pictures in ways that express your feelings. Look at ways you can take more control over small parts of your life. The universe tends to notice such things.

If your Mars seems weak, wear more red (his colour) and spend a little time every day in a Mars activity, such as getting more physical exercise--especially out of doors. To strengthen your sun, wear more gold jewelry (the sun's colour and metal) and get some real sunlight on your face every day, even in bad weather.

To strengthen Saturn, note that he rewards hard work, patience, getting by with little, and other old-fashioned virtues. If there is a task you know you should do but you have been delaying on it, now is the time to get it done. Saturn rules older people, so if you have an older relative nearby who would enjoy a visit from you, this would strengthen your Saturn. Focusing on someone less fortunate than yourself is always a good way to gain perspective. Saturn rules pottery-making (ceramics) and sculpture, so these might be a good hobbies for you, as they would also activate your Venus. One of his colours is dark green. If you can find some onyx jewelry, or a specimen in a rock shop, this is one of Saturn's stones.

If you can just start with the small steps, you should find the big ones are easier.

But again, there is oftentimes a physical cause of mental conditions, so make sure you are eating nutritious foods, taking a vitamin/mineral pill if you can't, and getting some outdoor exercise. These steps will also help you to take control over your life.

Thanks waybread, I like your advices.

And unconsciously, you have told the things I'll do this weekend. Especially Saturnian ones. This weekend I'm a guest in a family's house. I don't know them, also I don't like family things, birthdays, celebrations etc.
But this weekend I'll be a guest in a grandpa's house and celebrate the birthday of a grandma I don't know. And buy ceramics if I like one.

 

[vanila]

Hi Midnight Sun,

when I saw this thread I thought lol I have this constellation too...but first I will take a look at the chart...and I saw it.....do you remember the post with the Neptune opposition Sun....
so here is my chart too again....I don't have this Mars/Neptune opposition...but I guess it is not easy....
I take orb for aspect to the nodes not more than 2 degrees...I even think this is too much...because "The Lunar nodes are fictional points and not actual heavenly bodies"......
are you afraid of something?.....how do you feel the opposition Mars/Neptune?...
don't be sad....try to find the source of feeling this way....and work at it....

wish you all love and peace...

 

[midnight sun]

Hi Midnight Sun,

when I saw this thread I thought lol I have this constellation too...but first I will take a look at the chart...and I saw it.....do you remember the post with the Neptune opposition Sun....
so here is my chart too again....I don't have this Mars/Neptune opposition...but I guess it is not easy....
I take orb for aspect to the nodes not more than 2 degrees...I even think this is too much...because "The Lunar nodes are fictional points and not actual heavenly bodies"......
are you afraid of something?.....how do you feel the opposition Mars/Neptune?...
don't be sad....try to find the source of feeling this way....and work at it....

wish you all love and peace...

I remember you, we have the same triangle of Saturn, Venus and Jupiter and nodes. I wonder if your love experiences are painful. Mine doesn't begin at all. I'm usually alone and I think it's for a reason, for learning something. That's why I'm asking the nodes. I wonder how you experience them? Especially, did you live the transit of Saturn conjunction to your Norh Node?

 

[vanila]

I remember you, we have the same triangle of Saturn, Venus and Jupiter and nodes. I wonder if your love experiences are painful. Mine doesn't begin at all. I'm usually alone and I think it's for a reason, for learning something. That's why I'm asking the nodes. I wonder how you experience them? Especially, did you live the transit of Saturn conjunction to your Norh Node?

I can't be alone....it is not easy with the relationships....
I guess the position of Mars in your chart shows that you might have problems with the long lasting relationships...it rules your 7th house of partners....
1-7 house thing...if you don't love yourself truly you won't feel and receive true love from others...think about that....may be part of your lesson is to learn to love yourself....
about the transit of Saturn to NN....it was my first year in high school ...with new people..it was shocking and little bit depressing for me...because I don't like the changes and I'm not very flexible to them....and I'm an introvert and melancholic type.....

 

[Emerald]

I'll try them all one day, waybread. I didn't give up on myself. As you see here I'm still trying to find answers. I didn't do simple meditation, I do energy work for improving fire element in me and opened the root chakra. I was told to do it but my master didn't stand near me. So soon I lost my reality. These are danger for me, because of Neptune. I had so many fears and obsessions, I had to last them.

Bu my mind is still there and I have to educate myself for it first I think. And yoga, I'm thinking it for the last year. I have a feeling that it might work. Well, I think sports always work. If I change my lifestyle, things can get better a little. The main reason I'm asking about Nodes is I just need a reason for my pain. I believe there must be a reason for my loneliness and being loveless. If this is really something I must fight for to learn, I'll do it. I saw many people lived like that doing nothing, I don't believe our charts want it from us. It must want something to be done.

And thanks for one thing, you caused me to realize...I couldn't do anything with my music for years and it's also another pain inside me. I understand now why it is like that.

I am sorry if I write this a little too late of your post. I have same position of Saturn conjunct SN in scorpio, except mine is in 8th house (yours in 2nd) and I was reading about threads with this theme.

Did you get better? I watched your chart, I am not a senior astrologer, but I have these intuitions, just brainstorming, how are you going with your Saturn return? For me is being though.

Anyways, I see your mercury strong in your chart with the MC conjunction and that moon in virgo in good aspect with it. Did you ever thought of writing about organization/helping others to be organized; or working in a kinda boring task but that demands organization skills/beauty/writing? Or talking with someone about health improving diets/vitamin/so on?

If is the type of thing you can do (as AC Libra) maybe helping sometimes organizing/promoting a charity event or researching about nurturing/food/health and beauty?

Did you ever thought of being a nurse/elementary school teacher involving arts/music/health/biology?

Just some thoughts, because I see some potential of those things in your chart but nobody mentioned it. Sometimes helping or giving an advice of something that is natural to you but a very big hard thing to others can make yourself happier too!

 

[midnight sun]

I am sorry if I write this a little too late of your post. I have same position of Saturn conjunct SN in scorpio, except mine is in 8th house (yours in 2nd) and I was reading about threads with this theme.

Did you get better? I watched your chart, I am not a senior astrologer, but I have these intuitions, just brainstorming, how are you going with your Saturn return? For me is being though.

Anyways, I see your mercury strong in your chart with the MC conjunction and that moon in virgo in good aspect with it. Did you ever thought of writing about organization/helping others to be organized; or working in a kinda boring task but that demands organization skills/beauty/writing? Or talking with someone about health improving diets/vitamin/so on?

If is the type of thing you can do (as AC Libra) maybe helping sometimes organizing/promoting a charity event or researching about nurturing/food/health and beauty?

Did you ever thought of being a nurse/elementary school teacher involving arts/music/health/biology?

Just some thoughts, because I see some potential of those things in your chart but nobody mentioned it. Sometimes helping or giving an advice of something that is natural to you but a very big hard thing to others can make yourself happier too!

Hi Emerald, thanks for writing to me. I was really bad till the end of 2012. I was thinking to kill myself. Then I get help from homeopathic pills. And I started to do meditation everyday. I'm good at manipulating my dreams for solving subconscious problems. So I'm using meditation for manipulating them. I'm also getting help from angels, I read a book about it. For the last two months I'm better and more hopeful. The most thing makes me depressive is my thought style. I always create scenarios in my head about future, mostly negative and believe that the future will exactly be like my scenario. Now I'm trying to create "trust" to the universe and trying to leave myself to the stream.

For a long time I was very hopeless about my birth chart and believe that it will be my fate. But then I realize that I'm criticizing a way which I never tried before. Now I'm trying this new way. My inner voice still says "nothing's gonna change" sometimes. But I force myself to trust. I think this is the main problem: trusting.

I know my Mercury is very powerful. I'm doing phd on communications sciences and planning to be a teacher at the university. Also I'm interested in issues like sustainability. So my Cancer Mercury-Sun-Mars is working very well. At this days, I'm trying to solve issues of this Venus-Saturn opp. and 7th house problems. It's hard to interpret them together. I mean Venus-Saturn opp. is a main problem about loving myself and relationships with others but my 7th house aspects are different. My 7th house seems to have a problem with Neptune only(probably over-idealizing partner). I wonder if it's connected to Venus-Saturn aspect or it is a problem by itself?

I have a very bad inner voice (which is a kind of sabotage I think) constantly saying "what if.... doesn't happen in all your life". You can fill the blank with whatever you want. Partner, money, friend, job, happiness etc. I'm really bored of this kind of thinking, it takes all my energy and hope. It's very useless. I hope I'll get over it.

While I'm examining the Saturn-SN aspect, I understand that it shows the limitations coming from my ancestors. In my chart, they are in 2nd house, it means that my ancestors didn't have self-esteem, love themselves, hardly earn their own money and poor(most of them are true). Especially they have a limitation of feeling love because of a reason, maybe a belief, or a bad experience or something else. The duty of NN(mine is at 8th) is to solve this issue by living and learning the 8th house subjects. Because it is an opposition, anytime I live one side, I will learn and improve the other point for creating a balance.

It is not easy. I understand that the most difficult thing is to love and care for ourself, especially if it is something genetic. What gives me hope is that we have the key for the solution in ourselves if this problems are given to us. And birth chart shows it. As you said for example my Mercury is a point for helping the balance of the painful oppositon. So I believe if I have a career(I'm still jobless), maybe the problem will be ligthen a little.

 

[Emerald]

Hi Emerald, thanks for writing to me. I was really bad till the end of 2012. I was thinking to kill myself. Then I get help from homeopathic pills. And I started to do meditation everyday. I'm good at manipulating my dreams for solving subconscious problems. So I'm using meditation for manipulating them. I'm also getting help from angels, I read a book about it. For the last two months I'm better and more hopeful. The most thing makes me depressive is my thought style. I always create scenarios in my head about future, mostly negative and believe that the future will exactly be like my scenario. Now I'm trying to create "trust" to the universe and trying to leave myself to the stream.

For a long time I was very hopeless about my birth chart and believe that it will be my fate. But then I realize that I'm criticizing a way which I never tried before. Now I'm trying this new way. My inner voice still says "nothing's gonna change" sometimes. But I force myself to trust. I think this is the main problem: trusting.

I know my Mercury is very powerful. I'm doing phd on communications sciences and planning to be a teacher at the university. Also I'm interested in issues like sustainability. So my Cancer Mercury-Sun-Mars is working very well. At this days, I'm trying to solve issues of this Venus-Saturn opp. and 7th house problems. It's hard to interpret them together. I mean Venus-Saturn opp. is a main problem about loving myself and relationships with others but my 7th house aspects are different. My 7th house seems to have a problem with Neptune only(probably over-idealizing partner). I wonder if it's connected to Venus-Saturn aspect or it is a problem by itself?

I have a very bad inner voice (which is a kind of sabotage I think) constantly saying "what if.... doesn't happen in all your life". You can fill the blank with whatever you want. Partner, money, friend, job, happiness etc. I'm really bored of this kind of thinking, it takes all my energy and hope. It's very useless. I hope I'll get over it.

While I'm examining the Saturn-SN aspect, I understand that it shows the limitations coming from my ancestors. In my chart, they are in 2nd house, it means that my ancestors didn't have self-esteem, love themselves, hardly earn their own money and poor(most of them are true). Especially they have a limitation of feeling love because of a reason, maybe a belief, or a bad experience or something else. The duty of NN(mine is at 8th) is to solve this issue by living and learning the 8th house subjects. Because it is an opposition, anytime I live one side, I will learn and improve the other point for creating a balance.

It is not easy. I understand that the most difficult thing is to love and care for ourself, especially if it is something genetic. What gives me hope is that we have the key for the solution in ourselves if this problems are given to us. And birth chart shows it. As you said for example my Mercury is a point for helping the balance of the painful oppositon. So I believe if I have a career(I'm still jobless), maybe the problem will be ligthen a little.

Wow, I had same problem with the "always create scenarios in my head about future, mostly negative and believe that the future will exactly be like my scenario". In the end they are not as good not as bad as I thought.

I believe your career will really help to lift the burden of the other areas! I myself have a different problem than yours, but also involves Neptune, he is very tightly conjunct Mercury and both are conjunct MC, so you can imagine that while in love I feel good... careerwise, I am lost. I love astrology, painting, artist things, but like you said my mind think always the bad scenario, and that those are not for earning the bread of everyday. While I am also wanting to be a teacher at an university I sometimes get lost in practical things and that makes me doubt my power.

Is good to know you are feeling better. I think the Saturn conjunct south node is like we cant come back to accept/enjoy/accommodate/have pleasure our ancestral/old ways of doing things (like you said that the old patterns make you feel bad and you never tried new ones), but that makes things way harder for us, we despair because we can't do things the old way or Saturn whips us with his punishment and we must advance to a new light to make a balance.

I hope we find our new ways and stay there for most of our lives.

 

[paco74]

Me to : "always create scenarios in my head about future, mostly negative and believe that the future will exactly be like my scenario"

I also have Saturn opposite with North Node

Saturn( 27d in Gemini )( house 12 )
N.Node( 25d in Sagittarius )( house 6 )

I found this :

Saturn Opposite North Node: You're often extremely limited. Rigid personal habits and ambitions often clash with current social norms and you must learn to cooperate with society to overcome the isolation this may create. However, this same attitude can allow you to be in a class by yourself, especially in obscure fields of endeavor, by disregarding all external influences.

on:
http://rainbowsendpress.com/astro/saasnn.html#opposite

Not a very positive communication. I'm not sure what the lesson is here. Overcome isolation or stay stubborn?

Did you find that job? How are you doing now?

Maybe have some tips on overcoming that darn Saturnian-fear.

 

[rahu]

The conjunct of the node and saturn is probably the most complicated as Saturn rules Time and “reality“.The distinction I make is that the node “fixates” reality. But there is a deeper cultural antagonism between these symbols as Saturn conjunct the node can be seen as the primogenituric suppression of the matriarchical base of human life , society and spirit.
I describe the north node as the point of creation of time and existence and the south node as the point of egress of time and the point of accumulation of thought forms,. Then the practical difference in north node transits versus south node transits is the psychic accumulations of the south node tend to bring real power to the individual. The north node tends to bring knowledge an inspiration which can be translated into power and the accumulations of desired matter.
Whereas the south node transits bring power of thedense plane directly. As both are of the same element ,both bring inspiration and knowledge but once time begins the desires of the body are inundated by coarser more “real” forms of energy under the south node tan the north node.
So basically north node transits can be more intellectual/ spiritual whereas south node transits bring tension and psychic power dynamics into play. But both affect “reality”.
The south node can bring confusion if the individual cannot integrate the forces that come through them. The south node can bring megalomania whereas the north node can bring flights of illusion.
Traditionally the north node is of the nature of Jupiter and the south node is of the nature of Saturn and this does generally holds true.
Node transits to Saturn highlight the difference in the north and south node.
South node conjunct saturn often show material wealth.usually from the father.it gives a stubborn and controlling personality and the father is likely the major influence in this person life. Often a person is over shadowed by the father with this placement and can harbor resentment.in a womans chart especially ,this is an intial sign of sexual abuse, thought other aspects can make this definitive such as Pluto square to saturn or Pluto square the sun, actually Pluto square venus or mars also makes the sexual abuse likely.this placement brings a “magic” or altered state to the natives sense of reality . this can be because of financial or material advantage, but it can also show that coincidence play a big part I lifes experience. As the node is lunar in nature ,often such a placement in a man’s chart shows a domineering nature toward women. This placement shows a self sufficient attitude that often is accompanied by selfishness and insensitivity.
Adding the concept of magic, this placement is similar to the devil card as passions and selfishness are paramount. This is the placement of the occultist and can show the application of occult principles on the astral to control and influence others.
Afflicted this placement shows ill fortune because of selfishness and desires. It can bring economic problems throughout life and and inability to take advantage of opportunities .often hardship in early life give such a native an eternal”chip” on their shoulder.
Here the key is to not be greedy. The image is to catch power of the south node with open hands. That is do not try to catch all that come to one. This greed of wanting to control everything and retain everything leads to collapse as no mortal can contain the infinite.

The north node conjunct to Saturn often lessens the rigid ego structure that Saturn symbolizes. Insome ways the ego structure is dissolved and the native can embrace a
“spiritual “perspective . This can bring a sense of insecurity .This brings also indications of wealth ad in a woman’s chart the likelihood of sexual abuse for the same reasons as the south node placement.
Here the sense of magic and coincidence is less burdening as the environment does not “crush’ the native as strongly as when the south node is conjunct. The influence of the father is strong and usually has a dominating affect on the personality development .with hard aspect to mars, this placement can also result in stubbornness ad selfishness but always there is a insecurity as the transient nature of reality is felt much stronger than with a south node placement.
This placement also gives synchronistic events throughout life.
Both placements with Saturn and the nodes can give unusual physical symptoms. Sometimes negative sometimes positive. both placement are very “magnetic” to karmic or psycho kinetic influences.
I know of one native with a Saturn/south node conjunction who always would end up pits in her cherry pie or similar particles when she dined out. I have personally never bit into a pit but this occurred repeatedly in her case. on the flip side she had an uncanny ability to always arrive at a public destination moments before a crowd of people would arrive.
This is totally anecdotal but it serves to illustrate the quirky nature that reality can have with nodal/Saturn placements.
The distinction between south and north node transits is somewhat arbitrary as either placement can result in exalted or malicious examples. And either placement can give rise to opposite effects This is why I emphasize that each individual must research how the node affects them.
And as usual the aspects to Saturn can complicate the manifestation that occur.
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=63539&page=2
rahu

 

[paco74]

Thanks Rahu!

I will try to let go of :greed of wanting to control everything and retain everything