Brea
Well-known member
So I’m feeling completely doused in heavy water here some Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea nonsense. From my chart you can see I have a decent touch of fire. This really helped me navigate my late teens and my early 20’s but these days all I do is feel like a victim. Dealt with transiting Saturn in my 5th and the square to my venus/10th ruler. Im currently experiencing Saturn square my Taurus mc. In the not so distant future I can expect Transiting Saturn to square my sun and my Saturn return is on the horizon.
Nobody likes a victim. I feel inundated by my own insecurities, I’m tired all the time, my inner determination (Mars/Pluto in my chart) is becoming a feature that holds me back. Before I had drive and conviction;my fixed energy was a force behind the standards I held myself to in pursuit of something better. I moved towards something I felt I owed myself.
Now I’m both inundated by the past, disappointed in my origins, entranced by it’s illusionary powers, and nostalgic for it. Something has changed in me. I feel limited to one lopsided part of myself and my natal chart. I feel stuck. Like I’m on a treadmill, speedily going dark places in my mind and few places else.
I feel stuck reliving the past and auditing how the past shapes the terms of my future life. I feel completely without hope or aspirations. I’ve always been emotionally sensitive with Pisces moon but I had so much energy and optimism before, where’s now I feel like moldy cardboard fusing into the fibers of the surrounding environment. No matter how angry I seem to get with myself it’s not enough to get my *** into gear.
It may help to know that While I’ve been managing and living with it my entire life, I now have hard concrete evidence and diagnoses of the early natal and genetic brain trauma (Neptune square mercury) that I felt I had growing up. What are the correlations with big &slow transiting planets today and my natal chart? Where did my get up and go, go? I feel tied up by my hyper awareness of my super egos criticisms and the criticisms of others. I don’t feel like there’s anything within me to want to celebrate life as I had before.
If this is Saturn transiting square my venus and then my MC why does it feel like my Pisces stuff is being triggered? How is my fixed Taurus mc and eventually my chart ruled Taurus sun going to be effected by the upcoming square? Is it possible that things are about to get a little heated up and motivational again with transiting Pluto sextile my natal Mars? What little helpers are there to help me get my spirits up again? I will post any additional charts you request.
As always thanks for your time
Nobody likes a victim. I feel inundated by my own insecurities, I’m tired all the time, my inner determination (Mars/Pluto in my chart) is becoming a feature that holds me back. Before I had drive and conviction;my fixed energy was a force behind the standards I held myself to in pursuit of something better. I moved towards something I felt I owed myself.
Now I’m both inundated by the past, disappointed in my origins, entranced by it’s illusionary powers, and nostalgic for it. Something has changed in me. I feel limited to one lopsided part of myself and my natal chart. I feel stuck. Like I’m on a treadmill, speedily going dark places in my mind and few places else.
I feel stuck reliving the past and auditing how the past shapes the terms of my future life. I feel completely without hope or aspirations. I’ve always been emotionally sensitive with Pisces moon but I had so much energy and optimism before, where’s now I feel like moldy cardboard fusing into the fibers of the surrounding environment. No matter how angry I seem to get with myself it’s not enough to get my *** into gear.
It may help to know that While I’ve been managing and living with it my entire life, I now have hard concrete evidence and diagnoses of the early natal and genetic brain trauma (Neptune square mercury) that I felt I had growing up. What are the correlations with big &slow transiting planets today and my natal chart? Where did my get up and go, go? I feel tied up by my hyper awareness of my super egos criticisms and the criticisms of others. I don’t feel like there’s anything within me to want to celebrate life as I had before.
If this is Saturn transiting square my venus and then my MC why does it feel like my Pisces stuff is being triggered? How is my fixed Taurus mc and eventually my chart ruled Taurus sun going to be effected by the upcoming square? Is it possible that things are about to get a little heated up and motivational again with transiting Pluto sextile my natal Mars? What little helpers are there to help me get my spirits up again? I will post any additional charts you request.
As always thanks for your time