It is not so unusual to associate yourself more with the Moon sign, because that is more directly connected to the feelings and this can be especially so for women. The Sun combined with the Asc are more about how you express your actions and behavior in the outer world, which are mostly subconscious in nature, while Moon is more of the essence within, as it is the storehouse of all of our memories that tell us about ourselves. That is where the story of your life resides as only you can know it. I personally consider the Moon to be more in keeping with the true core essence, rather than the Sun.
The interplay between the Sun and Moon represent the interchange between the yin-yang energies, which typically seek out balance, but are not always totally in sync. Depending on the aspects of the planets, the normal archetypal qualities are modified.
Thus your Sun is modified by the influence of the Moon in air, as well as having Venus in Aquarius.
Since the Sun is involved in the t-square with Moon/Uranus this also can significantly modify the expression of your Pisces influence. Your fierce need for independence is more associated with Uranus though than Gemini. Consider also the Moon joined with the NN, further emphasizing Gemini.
Your aggressiveness is apt to be in response to the Mars/Saturn conjunct, which can contribute to a lot of blocked up frustration.
You do tend to keep your emotions locked up, as indicated by Moon/Saturn. Too much of that though can be damaging to the psyche, as the affliction of Venus/Saturn may attest to.
The Uranus in sagittarius could be another reason for wanting more freedom than the average person.
Uranus in the sixth house of work, would not want to have the controlling boss and wouldnt mind a change of job.
In truth, the fact that Uranus opposes your Moon and squares the Sun does give it more influence over your life; your fierce need for independence and autonomy comes through clearly as a result. Indeed Uranus often contributes to unusual character traits, often which may be considered odd or eccentric.
It's place in your 6th H does suggest potential instability and changeability in your work place, and that you may work at different or unusual jobs along your journey.
The Sun and Moon at birth provide much detail about the parents and their influence in your life; since you were born at the first quarter phase of the Moon, this relates to your difficult childhood. Venus in the 8th H depicts the psychological affects of that part of your life, yet the trine of Venus/Pluto holds promise that you can surmount your past difficulties by transforming yourself, and through the power of love and forgiveness.
At the same time your own marriage may later reveal certain patterns of relationship that are attached to unresolved issues from your past conditioning, which can become troublesome if they are not recognized and understood. At the level of the psyche we often play out similar ancestral themes in an effort to correct them, although this typically occurs at a deeply subconscious level and we don't make any connection to the sources of such patterns. One might wonder whether your independence and need for freedom may be modified, or hindered, by marriage
Typically it is Pluto that is associated with power and control issues and since it rules your 5th House in the chart, such things may well play out in relationships and matters of the heart, so you have to be aware of the implications of the square aspect between your Venus and Saturn/Mars.
Yes that suggests your hesitance about having children and that could easily become an issue for you should your husband be totally set on having kids.
As a precaution, you should not take his patience and understanding for granted, as marriage is about having mutual needs met. Something to pay attention to.
Saturn does have rulership over your house of marriage, so setbacks and disappointments may well set in at times, under given transits, if you choose the wrong partner.
" Saturn does have rulership over your house of marriage, so setbacks and disappointments may well set in at times, under given transits, if you choose the wrong partner. "
The statement is just a cautionary note suggesting that there could be difficult times in marriage...whether it would end depends on how the partners deal with certain hardships that may arise. As Saturn rules over marriage, it demands responsibility, patience and effort to help it endure. It would be advised to avoid power struggles or control issues in the relationship.
The conjunction of Saturn and Mars [actions and desires] shows your resistance to taking on the responsibility of motherhood, but it could be even more than that, where you could find yourself having difficulty getting pregnant or being unable to carry the fetus to full term. Saturn represents blockages and obstructions, so it could mean you are unable to get pregnant. Apparently the matter will be of serious concern in the marriage since your husband appears to be set on having children.
This is where the planetary rulerships come in; the matters of the planet will also have an effect on the house it naturally rules by sign.
I agree with your statement that "you still have a lot to learn," if you associate Cancer rising with people who cry all the time.
Cancer is a water sign, meaning that emotions seem very real to people with a Cancer emphasis. However, many individual girls and most boys are taught not to cry, so you can't go by whether people cry a lot or not whether they have a Cancer influence.
Are you familiar with the line from Shakespeare's play Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too much?" (Today we would say, "The lady protests too much.") Notice how much anger and energy you have against the simple and normal act of crying occasionally. Very emotional.
The rising sign does not necessarily show how you feel about yourself. It shows how others perceive you.
People with Cancer rising do tend to feel emotionally vulnerable (and who wouldn't, if you left an abusive mother,) but they tend to hide behind the Crab's shell-- snapping their claws occasionally when they feel upset?
Also, the sign of Cancer is ruled by the moon. Yours is in the air sign of Gemini in the 12th house. Air signs are very mental, and they live more in the world of ideas. Matters of the 12th house are very private, and like the first house, they may not be very clear to us, although they may be transparent to the people around us.
With your moon involved in a T-square involving Uranus, your emotions are probably very volatile, and liable to change quickly.
Note that the moon signifies one's experience of one's mother. Your T-square (also involving your sun-Mercury) suggests that you see her as harmful to your interests (sun). Your anger against her is obvious!
With your moon conjunct your north node of personal growth, learning to come to terms with your mother and your feelings will be very important to your further emotional development. If you cannot forgive her, try to let go of your emotional investment in feeling sorry for yourself about her.
The other planets to work on are your Mars and Saturn. They are written all over your most recent post!
Astrologers have several ways to determine the "ruling planet," and they don't all give the same result. Modern astrologers tend to define it as the planet ruling the rising sign; which in your case is the moon. This planet may or may not be a strong player according to its chart placement, however; so we may want to consider other factors.
A planet in the sign it rules (said to be "domiciled") will always be a strong player in the chart. You have two of these: Pluto is the modern ruler of Scorpio, and Mars is the traditional ruler of Scorpio. Pluto stays in the same sign for years; so you share its placement with others of your generation. Mars seems strong in your chart, with its trines to your sun-Mercury and Venus square.
You have a lot of the water element in your chart. This tends to make your personality on the emotional side. Scorpio in particular hopes to hide its emotions, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't feel things very strongly.
Uranus square sun-Mercury will give you a strong feeling that you must not be controlled by other people. Especially in a young man's chart, sun square Uranus can be "the rebel without a cause." The danger for people with this placement is that they want excitement and change, to the point where they may not think of how their acting out affects other people.
I don't think there is anything you can do to change someone like that. Letting go may be the best option. You don't need to forgive her - traditionally that's done because a person needs forgiveness, but she doesn't seem to think she's done anything wrong. So I wouldn't get all hung up over it.
Just live your life. I understand it's going to be difficult to see your father with her there all the time, but her opinions about these things are just plain wrong. And those belong to her, not to you. You obviously don't accept them, and you don't need to. But try not to let her control you so much.
I hope I didn't come across as harsh and uncaring. My ex husband is Jewish, and even though my parents raised me without a religious faith, and to be open and tolerant to all-- suddenly all that went out the window when we told them we were getting married. They almost didn't come to the wedding.
My mother wasn't as difficult as yours, but when I was growing up she seemed always to be very critical of me. Later in life, she suffered from depression and alcoholism. Both my parents had died by the time I was 35.
Yes, parents can be extremely hurtful. In your case, I wondered if your mother might have been traumatized by some of the political unrest and repression in China; or whether her immigrant experience might have been horribly alienating for her. Do you think she might even suffer from an undiagnosed mental illness? Oftentimes abusive parents were themselves beaten as children.
As you learn more astrology, see whether your mother's horoscope begins to make sense to you. If you know her birth date and location, you can post it here. If you don't have a birth time, just post it as "unknown." You will get a chart without houses; but that's better than a chart with erroneous houses.
When I first saw my mother's chart, I developed a lot of compassion for her, because I could see the inner demons with which she struggled. Your mother may have a very difficult horoscope, and yet not have the inner resources to cope with it successfully. She sounds like a deeply unhappy person.
I suspect she would be angry no matter whom you married. Could any man on the planet meet her expectations?
Although I doubt that your mother will change, the promise of astrology is that you can develop more self awareness through it; and more compassion for difficult people when you see how hard life feels to them.
You seem like a very strong person! And how wonderful to have found a good man with whom to share your life.
As a person who also has Moon in Gemini, natally, and also, has Asian parents, I will comment here.
I am not Chinese, but I do have a good understanding of the culture. Some Chinese parents place unrealistic expectations on their children, but others DO NOT, so you can't generalize.
We cannot demonize all parents, either !
But yes, Asian parents tend to expect more, demand more, that is a cultural fact.
Which brings me to my point. With natal Sun square Moon opposite Uranus, you, the Sun in Pisces woman, have to figure out.... how to keep your individuality WITHOUT throwing out the proverbial baby with the bathwater !
In this case, the "baby" is your parents and the "bathwater" is your Chinese heritage.
YOU, and you alone, have to figure it out !
Natal Moon opposite Uranus and also, natal Venus square Mars and Saturn, are perhaps the contributing factors to friction between you and your Mother ?
Mars also rules your 10th house of mother.
These are difficult aspects. Moon opposite Uranus means that you cannot rely on traditional family models to shape your own home life.
Everyone is unreliable to some degree and the danger of being demonized, stereotyped, by family, is great.
The Moons ruler, Mercury in Pisces, adds to the confusion, as Mercury is Pisces does not always think logically and flies in the face of the logical, factual Gemini.
That's why the square (90 degree aspect) between Gemini and Pisces is apparent.
That said, the mutable t-square is resolvable over time, provided that you adapt to changing circumstances and be flexible.
One of the key lessons of Uranus, natally, is self-reliance or self-sufficiency. Since people are unreliable, generally, you have to carry the ball yourself.
However, if you completely divorce yourself from others, then you may also experience the darker side of Uranus, which is namely alienation and a feeling of being unwanted.
Fortunately, you have a husband, so he can perhaps help you deal with your demons.
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I'm also very glad that you are studying western astrology to figure out your own family dynamics and also, how to solve your own relational issues.
Finally, when Uranus is afflicted in the natal chart, sometimes, even astrologers, or astrology will let you down.
There is a darker side to Uranus afflicted, namely the whole world will tend to scr*w you over ?
Unfortunately, that is a bitter pill for those of us with Uranus prominent to swallow...
good luck to you,
ps. regarding Sun square Moon in your natal chart, that shows the original role models (male and female) under dynamic tension and you obviously grew up, under that tension. But again, it is a mutable square, so you can resolve it if you truly want.
regarding your Cancer ascendant and it being unsuitable, if you need to rectify your birth time, you can do so through rectification techniques.
What needs to be said is that western astrology has a "white man's bias" towards physical attributes of the rising signs.
All traditional astrologers, from William Lily to Ptolomy to Alan Leo, wrote the original interpretations, as if black and Asian people didn't even exist. LOL
Well, that's funny, because we Asians have been around for a h*ll of a long time...
In other words, Asian features are not really factored into the rectification process, with the trait words that white astrologers typically use to judge the rising signs, body type, hair color, etc.
Therefore, just because you don't "look" like a Cancer rising, doesn't mean you are NOT Cancer rising.
Dig deep for your natal chart answers, reject superficiality !
Also, please remember that western astrology was invented by white Europeans and Americans, and not people like us ?
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I am Canadian, not born in Asia, actually. But my parents and older brother are born in Sri Lanka.
Your Cancer ascendant is typical, a lover of one's own home, family and heritage.
In an ideal world, we should all be proud of our family heritage, but the world is never ideal.
Your natal Moon is afflicted.
Your house of marriage is ruled by Saturn in Scorpio, conjunct Mars, and trining Sun and Mercury.
In a woman's chart, the type of man she is likely to marry is denoted by the aspects that the natal Sun makes.
In your case, Sun is trine Mars and Saturn, but Sun also squares Uranus.
Women with Sun square uranus may not always attract a black man, for their partner, but subconsciously, you are seeking a man who will break the glass ceiling in some way, but one who is also responsible and reliable. (Sun trine Saturn)
Interestingly, your marriage partner has natal Saturn in the 7th house of marriage, so he expects a reliable person as well ?
i suppose one can be reliable, but still very odd, can they not ? LOL
Perhaps one of the best interpretations, ever, for Sun square Uranus, was written in Grant Lewi's classic book, Heaven Knows What.
The aspect is described by Lewi (Sun in Gemini) as the aspect of Ulysees, the mythical Greek god.
Ulysees is the man or woman who travels to and from every port but who cannot stay long at one port.
There is something about natal Sun/Uranus that upsets the proverbial applecart in the most traditional way.
Your natal Venus squares Mars, while Venus also makes a wide square with Saturn.
The square is also applying, so it is activated as you get older, through progression.
Venus square Saturn is symbolic of karmic lessons to learn with love relations, feelings that love did not come easy to you through your parents, or they had difficulty expressing their own love.
Venus square Saturn does not deny love and marriage, but it makes for demands and being demanding, wanting to be perfect, in love situations. and typically, hjgh expectations of the love partner or loved one.
There is a darker side to Venus/Saturn, too. It means someone who could enjoy seeing someone else suffer, such as a cruel person, so watch out, you have a darker side !
Suffering through abusive relationships is karmic, but you could very well pass it to your partners, as a sort of ingrained, reflexive, behaviour, if you are not aware of it.
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Bulletin board internet astrology advice is fairly limited in its scope. What you are seeking is well beyond the limitations of AW. There is pro bono relationship counselling available at most women's shelters in your area.
I would strongly encourage you to seek out some in person counselling.
Pleasehelp, it may surprise you to learn that other countries still have arranged marriages-- notably India-- although this is becoming less common there.
Also, it's best not to blame anything in your life on a particular planetary placement. I also have Venus in Aquarius, along with my sun and Mercury; and while I like to have my personal space, I don't think Venus in Aquarius particularly distances me from other people. Rather, I think that in your case, you have a very strong Mars in its own sign of Scorpio, and it squares your natal Venus. As a sign, Scorpio tends to believe in retaliation for wrongs it has experienced, and to want to lash out with its stinger; but if you cannot correct the problems of the past, you may find yourself swallowing the scorpion's own poison.
We should all learn to read charts with no birth time. Just don't input an imaginary birth time: input it as "unknown." That way you will get a chart with no houses, but at least they are not incorrect houses. You have no way of knowing what house your mother's Mercury might be in; so it's best not to assume it's in the 5th (or any other) house; but you can tell a lot by seeing how your mother's planets aspect one another.
So many of your posts suggest that you are just learning astrology, so it is best not to make so many assumptions based upon incomplete knowledge. There is an entire sub-field of astrology that deals with relationships (synastry) and it is far more complicated than whether your sun-signs are "compatible."
Your husband's moon conjuncts your sun, so this is one indicator of a committed relationship. I think the problem is that your childhood made you think that it wasn't safe to trust anyone.
If you believe that counseling would be beneficial, you might ask your family doctor for a referral. Clinical psychologsts in their own practice can be expensive, but sometimes one's employee benefits cover several sessions. Also, there are United Way Agencies in most cities that offer low-cost counseling services through one of their member organizations.
One member agency of United Way to try is Catholic Family Services. You don't have to be Catholic to see one of their counselors, and they do not have a religious message. Their services are very low-cost. I suspect you were traumatized by your difficult childhood, so it might be helpful to see a licensed counselor (social worker, clinical psychologist) so that you can move on with your life.
You seem to have a lot of very fixed ideas, and that's OK-- but try to let go of them if they make you so unhappy. It is very rare and special to find a good and loving husband, so I wouldn't let your ideas about a "traditional Chinese culture" that has stifled you so badly get in the way of that. You can love your ethnic identity without having to be chained to it.
One thing that pops out about your mother's chart is her sun/moon square Pluto. People with sun square Pluto tend not to trust others to support them emotionally; so they understand relationships as a dynamic of "dominate or be dominated." In their world, there are winners and losers, where one person's gain means the other person's loss, and vice versa.
If your mother tried to be the dutiful traditional Chinese wife who never argued with her husband, it seems likely that she would take out her need for control on her children.
There is a way out of this dynamic if the sun-Pluto person can understand herself as an ongoing stand for self (sun) transformation (Pluto,) but this might be difficult for an older person with her sun in Taurus.
LOL Well, Please help, I see that certain Pisces gals like to post their mugshots on AW, as if, to show off and also, prove their beauty to us ! LOL
You are not the first on AW to do that !
Well, congratulations on your beauty, Madame Pisces ! You are beautiful person ! LOL
Are you Cancer rising, as well? Well, time will tell what becomes of us all !
The short answer is maybe.
Seriously, I have counselled many Asian couples over the years and the same pressures that you talk about in your posts about parental expectations exist with other Asian couples.
I was also once married to a woman born in Asia and I saw, first hand, how immigrants handle the pressures of conforming to North American society and values.
Many immigrants are caught between a rock and a hard place. i.e. trying to please their families and parents, but also, dealing with the expectations of a "white" North American society that is becoming increasingly intolerant of immigrants.
In the USA. many Americans are resentful that Chinese and Indians are doing better than them, economically, and that immigrants are having a better life than them ?
It;s a sensitive topic, because there are fewer jobs than ever before and unless you have a job, how can you even have a love life or a child?
Many immigrants are in a personal transition, a personal journey, from Asia to North America.
Regarding your mother, from what you describe of her, she is a typical Asian woman, I'd say, expecting her husband to bring home the bacon and be a good provider.
You say that people with Sun and Moon in Taurus expects husband to be good provider, but every woman has that expectation, don't you think ?
My ex-wife also had that expectation of me ? But, also, I find that many Asian women cannot accept their men as unemployed or unable to work.
For a lot of you Asian women, the bar is set very high in terms of expectations, isn't it true !
But again, I think that all woman have that expectation of men, to be honest !
What woman wants to marry a jobless, or homeless man ! LOL
Your Mom is therefore, no different, actually.
She wants her husband to provide security for her and her kids.
Your father does very well with money, so that is a blessing.
Your mother has two, close, astrological aspects that are noteworthy.
One is SUN and MOON square PLUTO (already mentioned).
The other is SUN and MOON in Taurus inconjunct (150 degrees) NEPTUNE in Libra.
The natal inconjunction is a bit different than the horary chart inconjunction.
Natally, the inconjunction is about idealism and perhaps, illusions of grandeur but also, adjustments and re-working of the original script.
For example, the re-invention of the personality or identity.
This aspect is also about altriusm, or ROBIN HOOD, giving to the poor and being of service to others.
DECEPTION, i.e. being scr*wed over by others or the owner doing the scr*wing over.
It can work, either way, depending on your own personal morality code?
Regarding Sun and Moon square Pluto, in a woman's chart, it means that life is RARELY very fair and encounters with very powerful men who often pitch a "hard ball" serve !
Sometimes, life seems and is, persecutorial.
Another thing about natal Sun and Moon in Taurus is they often confuse relationship with ownership.
They think that money talks and that people can even be bought with money ?
Therefore, people, including their children, can be bought and sold, like personal chattle.
However, when it is your turn to be a mother, you can add a bit of humanity to the equation and treat others with respect and dignity.
So, the larger question is, are YOU a woman of humanity and fair play ?
You don't need natal astrology, or AW, in my opinion, to justify your own personal behaviour.
As always, time will tell, especially with your natal Venus square Mars and Saturn in Scorpion ! LOL
However, Cancer rising can usually show some humanity, and also, Sun and Mercury in Pisces, perhaps the most empathetic of signs. The water signs are supposed to be the most humane of signs.
But, like I said, time will tell.... what becomes of you water signs ! LOL
You don't have to follow your mother's example, but you can raise your own family according to your own standards !
You have posted over and over that you are Chinese but the birth chart you posted and said came from your birth certificate is located in the largest city of another country.
Also, the times needed to get the charts you posted for yourself and your husband suggest that they are guesses as they are exactly on the hour in one case and a quarter hour in the other.
The aspects to follow are all recorded in right ascension, or "true body positions" in space, of the points involved.
If the times used to get the charts are correct, or close to being correct, there is a lot of stress between the two charts. For the chart you post as your birth chart your husband's posted chart's Mars-Pluto midpoint is on the IC. His Saturn is exactly conjunct your Mars.
Relocating your chart to his birthplace in California, you have natal Saturn exactly conjunct your Asc and natal Mars square the MC meaning his Saturn also squares your relocated MC.
When your chart is placed around the posted natal chart for your husband your natal Mars, Saturn and Pluto are on his Desc..
His RAMC 308°28'. Your relocated Pluto sets at 308°22', relocated Saturn sets at 304°36' and relocated Mars sets at 310°26, the two of them straddling the Desc and their setting midpoint at 307°31' within a degree of the Desc and your relocated natal Pluto.
Your natal Saturn at 224°29' conjunct your Mars-Pluto midpoint at 224°06' could be an indicator of the recipient of abuse or of one who becomes an abuser. Quite often the experience of one is followed by the other.