passive aggressiveness and career

[BAYANARIZASEVIYORUM]

Hi y'all i am new to this forum! I am really passive in life in everything...have a tendency to suppress my temper/very inhibited/rarely stands up & takes up positions at work where i am always taking orders. As far as i understand, it is my 12th house stellium that's causing all this.

I wanted to discuss how does a 12th house stellium squared by saturn in 3rd house effect me?
Also i have lord of the 10th & 12th in 12th house. also virgo 10th house. what professions would be suitable to me? I have terrible communication skills. Also writing comes slowly to me/extremely difficulty.
I know saturn in 3rd causes poor communication but how does it impact learning/intelligence? I feel like i need a thorough understanding of subject instead of spontaneously grasping stuff. My guess is that my nept conj uranus in 2nd house causing my finances to go up & down. grateful for any help!

Anyway i just wanted kind friends over here to help me read my chart & figure out why i am not able to recognize a career path..?
I Feel like it's because my mars in 12th? or is it nept in 2nd?

my chart:
https://imgur.com/yHoODT9

 

[BAYANARIZASEVIYORUM]

Hi y'all can anyone help?

 

[Zora]

passive aggressiveness and career
[FONT=&quot]I am really passive in life in everything...have a tendency to suppress my temper/very inhibited/rarely stands up & takes up positions at work where i am always taking orders. As far as i understand, it is my 12th house stellium that's causing all this.
I wanted to discuss how does a 12th house stellium squared by saturn in 3rd house effect me?[/FONT]....

Hi BAYANARIZASEVIYORUM -

agression as an active acting out male energy - to push your own wishes through is connected with mars - as the second part of the male active principles - sun as one of the both lights - is the first and most important one - mars comes at 2nd place.

But in your chart- aries is in your male principle sun house 5th - ruled by mars. 5th house is about own will, own ego, self-expression, creativity and about enjoying your life and your true "I am" being. Aries as a cardinal sign is a short running energy - to inititiate something and bring something on the way and then to go on - but is not an energy to persistingly look after a growth in this field.

But your mars is above horizon - in fix sign scorpio in 12th house- the most farest away position from the personal area and personal availability and not only destined /available for your personal use and intentions. And mars is in a pluto ruled 12th house is directed and guided by pluto and has to respect house owner pluto's rules and to do it the way - pluto says to go it- as your natal pluto is strong placed in own sign and own house as ruler of 12th in 12th house.

And scorpio ruled by pluto is an intense, strong and persisting sign and energy- but also a cautious and secretive sign and energy - more working under the surface - and doesn't like much - to be in the middle of a spot light - like for example leo does.

12th house and planet placements in 12th house often also show a prenatal experience before own birth - during pregnancy of your mother with you - you witnessed as a little fetus in your mother's womb - with mother as the only true world for you - surrounding you that time.

And a difficult prenatal experience what pluto in 12th often shows- can be frozen at the age and in the state it happened and stored in subconsciousness - able to afterwards subconsciously take impact in later life on everything - you start as a new beginning in your life - like school change, job change, move home, start a relationship - looking like a birth-experience for you.

Your natal saturn rules your 2nd house - physical existence, to defend own body, safety, to defend own territory and own values and to set boundaries to protect yourself.

Your natal pluto squaring your saturn is the tighest square - and your pluto's square on your saturn is mainly about your safety- first- and to protect you and your own life and existence. And is a higher perception sense - sending you from the highest possible outlook to perceive future things coming - also prewarnings - for your self-protection - you can make use of - if you listen to it.


With your receptive and high sensitive moon in pisces in 4th house - you are a very empathic and sensitive soul and person and have anyway high sensitive senses to perceive more than others do - also from outer influence and what is going on with people outside in society - and probably feel yourself often overwhelmed - not knowing what belongs to you or is coming from outside - pisces can make the moon open and taking in all - like a sponge. And inconjuncted by jupiter in 11th house - the expanding planet energy with a tendency to exaggerate - even more.

And as jupiter rules your ASC and is your personal enforcement energy - your feelings can result in a kind of "bite inhibition" to push your own aims and wishes through and to more put yourself at 2nd place. And subpress your ego and own will - but with a mars in scorpio then it starts "simmering" inside of yourself. All planets in scorpio have the ability to forget noting and that for long- having an eidetic memory like an elephant and can remember and store every tiny detail of an experience - not known for an easy let go.
.

 

[BAYANARIZASEVIYORUM]

Hi zora i am new here & you're the first person to answer...so my first friend here. Thank you so much for the reply...i agree with a lot of what you have said. My mother had a difficult pregnancy with me..& yes i am extremely sensitive, easily overwhelmed with emotions & often times unable to recognize which one is me and which one is someone else.

ANY insight how saturn squaring my 12th house stellium is impacting me? DO saturn in 3rd house cause issues with learning? Also neptune/uranus 2nd house has confused me in career...I'll be very honest..i'm pretty old and have only worked odd jobs but not a specific career. And i am near fatalistic after reading explanation of this placement (nept/uranus 2nd house) on internet. i feel like i'm going to die out of poverty. should i allow myself to feel this way? are there people with this placement who had positive experience- financial stability throughout life. My mars in 12th house apparently makes me a spirtual warrior. or maybe into arts but i have never been able to recognize/explore my creativity. Other than helping me supress my anger this hasn't help me with anything...like I really don't understand what i want out of a career.

do pluto in 12th house scorpio make for a good psychologist? was in a discussion earlier where it was pointed out that planet & signs aren't that important but house is more important..& that prominent 8th house placements are most common in the charts of psychologists. 8th house vs 12th house. 12th house is also collective subconscious and uncovering secrets... what do u think?

So psychologist or anything similar like marriage therapist/school counsellor?? AN artist-writer(mercury in 12th house acc to articles)?? AND yet i have a REAL issue getting words out of my mouth..and even writer's block. I guess I am really confused how a heavy 12th houser like myself survive in this material world?? How do i bring money...i also live inside my head..Again thanks for taking time out & answering...would love your further insight..

 

[chiamaria]

It might be because the ruler of your MC, which is mercury, is in the 12th house. Mercury is in a midpoint conjunction between Mars and pluto, but not only that, it sextiles neptune and uranus, squares saturn and trines your moon. It's one of the most heavily aspected planets in your chart, having connections with 6 other planets. 5 of those 6 either are or can be seen as malefics (in the sense that the energy is heavy), with the exception of your moon. Mercury doesn't really aspect your two benefics or your sun, which is your identity, so it isn't really getting any support from them.

I think, for you, it might benefit to delve into your subconscious as it looks like you may have some psychic, or at least highly intuitive abilities, thanks to three planets in a water sign (scorpio) in a water house and also all three trining your water moon, which is also in a water house. Your way of figuring things out in terms of what you want in your career (or anything for that matter) might be by your having to use methods to bring the subconscious into the conscious. Maybe tapping into your dreams and writing down their details or taking note of any hunches or gut feelings you get throughout the day. If you like meditating, then do that. Basically, become aware of your patterns, because it sounds like the ruler of your MC is wading through the house of the hidden and subconscious, and because you're not aware of it, it stays elusive and hidden even from you and, hence, a lot of other things in your life, including your desired career path, stay elusive and hidden from you too.

 

[BAYANARIZASEVIYORUM]

It might be because the ruler of your MC, which is mercury, is in the 12th house. Mercury is in a midpoint conjunction between Mars and pluto, but not only that, it sextiles neptune and uranus, squares saturn and trines your moon. It's one of the most heavily aspected planets in your chart, having connections with 6 other planets. 5 of those 6 either are or can be seen as malefics (in the sense that the energy is heavy), with the exception of your moon. Mercury doesn't really aspect your two benefics or your sun, which is your identity, so it isn't really getting any support from them.

I think, for you, it might benefit to delve into your subconscious as it looks like you may have some psychic, or at least highly intuitive abilities, thanks to three planets in a water sign (scorpio) in a water house and also all three trining your water moon, which is also in a water house. Your way of figuring things out in terms of what you want in your career (or anything for that matter) might be by your having to use methods to bring the subconscious into the conscious. Maybe tapping into your dreams and writing down their details or taking note of any hunches or gut feelings you get throughout the day. If you like meditating, then do that. Basically, become aware of your patterns, because it sounds like the ruler of your MC is wading through the house of the hidden and subconscious, and because you're not aware of it, it stays elusive and hidden even from you and, hence, a lot of other things in your life, including your desired career path, stay elusive and hidden from you too.

Hi chiamaria
Thanks for answering..I agree with you on the MC...also my mars in the 12th house. I think i have the worst natal chart...

I really don't know how to delve into my subconscious.If you're talking about nightdreams ,then i only see darkness when i sleep...no visions. And my 'intuitions', have always turned out to be delusions...I have lived vicariously through other people's lives...i start copying whatever others do...No identity of my own. If you could help me with my natal chart and see where my natural potential lies...psychologist? writer? I have no hobbies/no special interests...don't know how to explore myself..little means...PLEASE HELP. You can go through my post history.

 

[chiamaria]

You copy what others do because everything that is 'you' is buried in the subconscious and you don't know who you are. I could give a list of stereotypical vocations that might suit you, but you honestly have to figure it out for yourself, because what I suggest you may not like. You might actually be surprised what kind of job draws you in once you delve into your subconscious. It might not be anything suggested by anyone here.

The jobs that might suit you are ones where you're in service to others in some way, since virgo is on your MC, but which types exactly? That's for you to find out. It could be in the health sector, but you might not be drawn to that. And to find out what attracts you you have to start knowing yourself and finding your own identity. Your mimicking others is a big symptom of not having your own identity because so much is buried in your subconscious. Another thing you might be able to try as an exercise is create boundaries between you and others and draw a demarcation line to clearly mark what is you and what is other people's characteristics that you mimic, but aren't truly you. Observe how you behave throughout the day and the activities you engage in or the habits you have, even down to the way you move or talk. Are they habits you got from others? Or are they from you? Tbh we all mimic one another to some extent as we're social creatures, but if you feel you are copying what someone else does too much but it's a habit that you actually don't really like, then make a note of that and try to cut that habit. The point I'm getting at with this exercise is trying to get you to find out what is essentially you and know yourself better. Write it down what you observe throughout the day about yourself. This may also be a way to bring the subconscious into the conscious and through that you may learn who you really are and from that point on, you can start finding out what truly draws you in.

 

[BAYANARIZASEVIYORUM]

You copy what others do because everything that is 'you' is buried in the subconscious and you don't know who you are. I could give a list of stereotypical vocations that might suit you, but you honestly have to figure it out for yourself, because what I suggest you may not like. You might actually be surprised what kind of job draws you in once you delve into your subconscious. It might not be anything suggested by anyone here.

The jobs that might suit you are ones where you're in service to others in some way, since virgo is on your MC, but which types exactly? That's for you to find out. It could be in the health sector, but you might not be drawn to that. And to find out what attracts you you have to start knowing yourself and finding your own identity. Your mimicking others is a big symptom of not having your own identity because so much is buried in your subconscious. Another thing you might be able to try as an exercise is create boundaries between you and others and draw a demarcation line to clearly mark what is you and what is other people's characteristics that you mimic, but aren't truly you. Observe how you behave throughout the day and the activities you engage in or the habits you have, even down to the way you move or talk. Are they habits you got from others? Or are they from you? Tbh we all mimic one another to some extent as we're social creatures, but if you feel you are copying what someone else does too much but it's a habit that you actually don't really like, then make a note of that and try to cut that habit. The point I'm getting at with this exercise is trying to get you to find out what is essentially you and know yourself better. Write it down what you observe throughout the day about yourself. This may also be a way to bring the subconscious into the conscious and through that you may learn who you really are and from that point on, you can start finding out what truly draws you in.

Hi thanks again for taking so much time out...
I agree with you I should be in a service oriented job coz i'm naturally empathetic & my overly emotional/non confrontational nature doesn't fit in the corporate world. I have worked as a tutor before and enjoyed it but it doesn't pay much. I thought of becoming a teacher but i must admit i feel guilt because i have insecurity for my own intelligence/learning.


Also the reason why i had such on/off with regards to my job...i'm literally not able to comprehend things quickly in a linear manner,especially when i'm not interested in the subject at hand which happens most of the time. I feel like i don't know everything. I feel like i can only do same thing over & over. I can't be spontaneous & new info just panics me.
It also makes me irresponsible coz if i'm not interested, i deliberately, or maybe, unconsciously self sabotage.
I feel like i have a tendency to escape reality. Which is why i wanted to figure out my own interests- one where i'm 'feeling' it, so that it doesn't really feel like work.What’s that saying? Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life. I also have horrendous communications skills. I copy other people's speech too. Like literally speak the same lines. Any practical tips on improving communication that really works?But the worst part is that I'm not even interested in vast majority of casual conversations.

Also i would want that list of vocations that you believe may be suitable. Yes, i have tried to create boundaries but it's hard to recognize who's me & who's someone else....I'll try to make a list henceforth.Thanks for the advice.


Also do u feel ambition from my chart? Do you have anything good to say about it(professionally ofc)?
Thanks again...i hope i'm not disturbing u too much.

 

[chiamaria]

I'm the same as you in terms of insecurity about my intelligence. Whenever I go into a new job that'll require training up, a small part of me wonders if I'll be smart enough to pick up new skills. New knowledge can intimidate me a bit too. Of course, in the end I always end up successfully learning it, but my insecurity goes back to Primary school where I had teachers always criticise me and I just struggled with learning. My first job was also filled with bad directors and a bad supervisor who didn't care all that much to really mentor me properly and diversify my knowledge. If I'm not interested either, I tend to zone out. I need someone to show me one-on-one. If there are presentations on topics, I never end up listening or taking in what they say. I'm not interested in theory, I'm interested in trying it with my own two hands, or else I'll forget.

My Saturn, like yours, is also in the 3rd house, but in Sagittarius for me. For me it involves being afraid to speak up sometimes and say what's on my mind, lest people think I'm stupid. Once again it goes back to primary school, where I was treated as if I was stupid. In terms of copying other people's speech, to be honest everyone does that to a certain extent. Groups of friends will often adopt a speech that is unique to their group, even the style of talking. It might be the case for you more than average because Mercury squares your Saturn in the 3rd house, and because Mercury's in the 12th house, you may absorb other people's habits, like a chameleon. It's not bad to adopt styles of speech, but what is one's motive for it is the question. Do you do it because you want to feel more accepted and "cool"? Do you do it because you just like the expressions they use? Do you do it because you just don't like the way you express yourself in general? Or is it something else? Do you do this in your native language or only in languages that are not your native tongue?

Maybe a way to try and solve it is to write about a particular topic of interest to you, and whenever you write down an expression that you copied from another person to describe a certain thing related to the topic, try and instead find another way of describing the same thing, but in your own words. It's a small exercise. You can evolve your way of expressing yourself by trying different styles of writing. But as far as I'm concerned, everyone copies each other to a certain degree anyway. No one is completely original.

As for list of jobs, well, Virgo energy likes to analyse and synthesise data. They like interpreting lots of information and condensing it into a more efficient form. Virgo, like Gemini, would be good with their hands. You might not be the type who likes to be the main face in your job, but you might prefer to work behind the scenes. Some jobs that come to mind are: data analyst, gardener, bookkeeper, working in a lab, personal assistant, nurse, medical specialist of some sort. Because you have quite a bit of scorpio, you may like being a detective or an investigator. Because Chiron is conjuncting your MC, a profession that involves healing and not just pushing papers around will probably suit you more.

There are definitely good things to say about your chart. Sun conjunct Jupiter is a great aspect to have, even if they're out of sign, and both are in the 11th house, which is the greater community. Same with your Venus in there! You'd probably do well working in teams with others to realise a greater goal. I also really think you should tap into your psychic abilities, because your chart indicates a lot of that, and that could take you far.

 

[BAYANARIZASEVIYORUM]

I'm the same as you in terms of insecurity about my intelligence. Whenever I go into a new job that'll require training up, a small part of me wonders if I'll be smart enough to pick up new skills. New knowledge can intimidate me a bit too. Of course, in the end I always end up successfully learning it, but my insecurity goes back to Primary school where I had teachers always criticise me and I just struggled with learning. My first job was also filled with bad directors and a bad supervisor who didn't care all that much to really mentor me properly and diversify my knowledge. If I'm not interested either, I tend to zone out. I need someone to show me one-on-one. If there are presentations on topics, I never end up listening or taking in what they say. I'm not interested in theory, I'm interested in trying it with my own two hands, or else I'll forget.

My Saturn, like yours, is also in the 3rd house, but in Sagittarius for me. For me it involves being afraid to speak up sometimes and say what's on my mind, lest people think I'm stupid. Once again it goes back to primary school, where I was treated as if I was stupid. In terms of copying other people's speech, to be honest everyone does that to a certain extent. Groups of friends will often adopt a speech that is unique to their group, even the style of talking. It might be the case for you more than average because Mercury squares your Saturn in the 3rd house, and because Mercury's in the 12th house, you may absorb other people's habits, like a chameleon. It's not bad to adopt styles of speech, but what is one's motive for it is the question. Do you do it because you want to feel more accepted and "cool"? Do you do it because you just like the expressions they use? Do you do it because you just don't like the way you express yourself in general? Or is it something else? Do you do this in your native language or only in languages that are not your native tongue?

Maybe a way to try and solve it is to write about a particular topic of interest to you, and whenever you write down an expression that you copied from another person to describe a certain thing related to the topic, try and instead find another way of describing the same thing, but in your own words. It's a small exercise. You can evolve your way of expressing yourself by trying different styles of writing. But as far as I'm concerned, everyone copies each other to a certain degree anyway. No one is completely original.

As for list of jobs, well, Virgo energy likes to analyse and synthesise data. They like interpreting lots of information and condensing it into a more efficient form. Virgo, like Gemini, would be good with their hands. You might not be the type who likes to be the main face in your job, but you might prefer to work behind the scenes. Some jobs that come to mind are: data analyst, gardener, bookkeeper, working in a lab, personal assistant, nurse, medical specialist of some sort. Because you have quite a bit of scorpio, you may like being a detective or an investigator. Because Chiron is conjuncting your MC, a profession that involves healing and not just pushing papers around will probably suit you more.

There are definitely good things to say about your chart. Sun conjunct Jupiter is a great aspect to have, even if they're out of sign, and both are in the 11th house, which is the greater community. Same with your Venus in there! You'd probably do well working in teams with others to realise a greater goal. I also really think you should tap into your psychic abilities, because your chart indicates a lot of that, and that could take you far.

Hi logged in today...
I have been setting up a routine for myself & doing yoga..
I will try to communicate with you sometime later, if you don't mind...because i've been confused about this whole thing & in counselling right now.
I just wanted to thank you...your insight is extremely valuable. Will definitely try to apply. i apologize for my english.