Overcoming my Moon issues!

[cossie]

I dont know if anyone can help me or advise me on this but its a problem which I am finding increasingly difficult to handle and I really need to know if it is possible for me to overcome it.
I have moon in Scorpio conjunct my midheaven so I believe that makes it strong and 8th house Pluto.
I am an intensely private person,in particular in my home. My ideal home is one hidden away,with high walls, a locked gate and no neighbours!
Its not that Im antisocial,I do have an active social life outside my home,but my home is my sanctuary,my haven,my private place.I dont like visitors especially unexpected visitors,and only ever invite a select few friends and family members around with whom I am comfortable with.
My issue is that I have now moved to a neighbourhood where I cannot get my privacy as I would like. Previously I lived in UK,where everyone goes home to their 4 walls at the end of the day and locks the door.I now live in India,in a community where everyone is in and out of each others houses all the time and children just roam in the neighbourhood without supervision because it is safe to do so.The idea of this sounds nice but I am struggling to cope.
I am getting irritable with having people in my house.I have a 3 year old daughter who is very popular and at any one time I can have 12 kids in my house,uninvited! Even she doesnt like so many people there in her home so I send them away and have tried to explain to people that Im a private person and I dont want them comin around,but they keep coming! If I lock the door they stand outside shouting to get attention.If I send them away they r back half hour later!Even the parents come and leave their young children here ,without asking me first. Ive told them but its like they dont get it,because its normal to them!
What can I do?I dont want to have to lock myself away when its so nice with the climate here to have all the doors and windows open and live life as much outside as in.Other than this I have my dream life,dream marriage,dream family,dream house which we built ourselves and love.I dont want to move from here but just cant handle this open house style of living.
If I cant make people understand,can I somehow change myself? Is it possible for me to stop getting angry and frustrated about this and relax and embrace it! I really want to try because otherwise I will have to leave and lose everything we have worked for to make a better life for ourselves.
Could anyone tell me if there is any way I could work with my moon sign to relax it somehow.I realise its in a fixed sign so may be difficult but Im feeling a bit like Im a victim to it at moment and thats not good is it.I know I cant change completely but would like to overcome my difficulties somehow.Ive adapted to all the other ways of life here and other than this issue I am happy.
What do you suggest?

 

[DoubleLibra]

Cossie, Oh my goodness I can relate to this post so much. I currently have Chiron and Neptune transitting my 4th house of home and lately it seems like any little disturbance from my neighbors (I live in an apartment building which I hate but have no other choice in such a high-priced area) but any little disturbance .. Noise has been really bothering me. I think it always has to a point but more so lately. I don't like loud places, loud people, loud anything And like you, my home is my "safe haven". If I can't come home and have peace where else can I possibly get it?

I can understand completely about not wanting people roaming in and out of your house, especially not being invited. When I was married before and had a house, if I didn't want to be disturbed by my neighbors I wouldn't answer the door or phone. But it sounds like when you try to do that, they are not getting the hint because it's their way of living. I can imagine this being so frustrating Can you maybe have your husband speak with them and explain that you are from the UK and this environment is so different for you?

Also, are you noticing it more now than normal? I'm wondering if possibly this Full Moon coming up, even though it's Taurus, with all this Scorpio energy, if maybe this is affecting you more?

 

[Carole]

Cossie...I feel so identified with you after reading your post. I have had a similar problem with people and noise (I just hate noise!) for long, but I have found that meditation has helped me a lot with this. Have you ever tried it? I know it can be a difficult task with your Moon in Scorpio, but perhaps you could resort to some other aspects in your chart whose energy you could use to make yourself adapt to a situation that is not probable to change.
Meditation empowers you to handle anything. It helps you to not give people and/or challenging situations the power to steal your joy and peace from you.

Good luck!

Carole

 

[freedomlover]

Cossie,

I, too, resonate strongly with what you're going through. I have also spent a great deal of time meditating on how to change my outer circumstances or, at least, the way I reacted to them by changing the way I view them. Some freedom started to come when I started to realize that the outer circumstances were mirroring to me what was going on inside of me in some way.

So, using this concept..... how would this apply to you? People are coming into your home uninvited.....you have no privacy.....they will not listen when you tell them how you feel. It sounds like boundary issues to me. (I know this is a cultural thing, but I'm looking at it from what the situation might be trying to teach you.) So, where are you letting your mental, emotional, etc, rights be trampled on? Where are you letting yourself be walked upon? Where are you letting others exert their will over you? And if none of these apply, it might be the polarity of it. Could be, this happened to you at one point, so you've made an inner vow somewhere along the line that this will never happen to you again. It's the same energy, though, no matter which polarity you're coming from.

Also, some thoughts on Scorpio..... I always associate Scorpio with a "figure 8". This has a good side and a down side. The good side is one of "give and take", bending but not breaking, being flexible, going with the flow. The down side is of being "sucked in" to other people's forcefields, or "sucking" other people into yours. I also associate Scorpio/8th house with a duplication of the 4th house, so it is a "combination of two people's "inner houses" or internal frames of reference. The polarity of Scorpio is Taurus. Taurus energy can mainfest as stubborness - a "brick wall" that will not be moved. This does not bode well for 2 people getting along. This breaks down the flow of give and take, being respectful of other people's way of doing things. One will not budge, so the other person has two choices - give in to their way of doing things, or leave ( or go into seclusion, hiding, etc - also a Scorpio thing) Often the "brick wall" used to get one's way by one of the two parties (sometimes both) is money, physical security, etc - also a Taurus issue. (Your 4th house (moon ruled) is in Taurus, and so opposes your Scorpio moon - moon opposing moon issues here.)

These were some thoughts on what might be going on internally that your outer circumstances may be mirroring for you. You're right, one's home should be your haven. But also, as within, so without. Maybe it is pointing to the need to work on your inner haven, and "guard your inner city". Your Scorpio Moon is in the 10th, which is ruled by Capricorn. Capricorn governs setting boundaries, among other things. To me, this would point to the need of "drawing a boundary" that "cuts off" getting pulled into other people's energetic flow, or pulling others into yours. Also, being careful to not let others trample onto your rights, use your time in the wrong manner, etc, and also being careful not to do this to others. This may very well involve some inner healing to forgive those who would not budge, or tried to control you in some way. As long as you haven't forgiven and let the energetic charge go, you will keep manifesting the same pattern in some way in your life. (This recycling of old issues is also a "Scorpio" thing.)

I hope this helps and came out understandable. I have all of this stuff floating around in my head, but don't really get a chance to talk about it, so I have to try extra hard to make sure it is comprehendable to the other.

 

[cossie]

Well it was a lovely surprise to see all your helpful,understanding replys this morning!
Doublelibra, my husband has spoken to these people but cant seem to get through to them either.Hes at work all day and they dont come when he is here so its difficult.
Interesting you mention the full moon in taurus.I have felt this way for a long time but it came to a head this last week because it was school holidays here and there were more kids than usual. Possibly the approaching full moon has prompted me to make this post as my mars is in taurus.
Carole I have been considering meditation. Its something which I think would benefit me because i get very tense and find it difficult to relax.
There is a lot of noise here people noise,loud music,temple music,dogs barking,but Ive managed to accept all that.In fact Ive managed to overcome most hurdles regarding moving here.This is just something Im struggling with and still have to overcome.I will try meditation,thankyou for the suggestion.
Freedomlover I love the way you explain this as a lesson to be learned.That is is great way for me to look at this and hopefully overcome it. I believe that I often allow people to trample on my feelings and push me into things I dont want to do.As a result I have become very insular.I dont like to depend on anyone for anything and I keep an emotional distance from people so they dont 'suck me in' as you mentioned.Maybe Ive been so busy building my 'brick wall' I havent looked inside myself to deal with my own problem/weakness,and now Im being forced to do so.
I definately need some inner healing and maybe,like you say I need to look back and forgive people in my past to release the energy.
Thankyou so much for your responses it is nice to know that I am not alone with this problem and that there are ways of dealing with it.I hope your suggestions help other people who may be going through a similar experience.

 

[Claire19]

Can you post your natal chart and we can have a look at it.

I so relate to the privacy thing. I moved to a big house with no fences and on street level where people can see into my living room. I hate that!!! I have mainly lived in high rise apartments near the city with locked doors and in a security building so that I knew who was coming and when. This new situation really bothers me. Being in a housing estate with many neighbours and have many entrances to the house which makes me feel insecure. All sorts of people come to the front door unannounced and uninvited and I have taken to drawing the curtains and blinds which I dont like to do, during the day.

I have an afflicted Moon square Pluto Mercury in the third and always have had trouble with neighbours and noise, especially dogs. I am caring for my elderly parents right now and am trapped here as I am retired and with no independent income. My father chose this house which suits him having no stairs and close to the shops etc...He bought the first one he saw however and I was appalled at the lack of fencing and security.

I long for the time when I buy my own little home high on a hill with only one or two doors to enter and locked!!!! Away from neighbours and peace and quiet. I live for the day.

Your situation sounds very tricky and finding a solution is very difficult. I wonder if you thought of this when and where you built your house? A real culture shock!! You would be regarded with suspicion and possibility hostility if you locked out the neighbourhood children I imagine. It is possible to move elsewhere where you can still enjoy the warmer climate and outdoor living but affords more privacy. In Australian we dont let our children roam the streets or even visit the parks alone anymore. We have stranger danger talks and it is hard for me to imagine the situation you have described with hordes of children running free.

Claire

 

[cossie]

Here is my natal chart http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n119/princeschick/ClairasLilithchart.gif
Claire19,Im sorry you too are suffering with a similar situation.
When we built our house,our main consideration was to be close to my husbands family. They are village dwellers and have not seen much of this world,indeed I doubt if theyve ever even been outside of Goa! We knew that if we lived in UK they would never really be a true part of ours or our daughters life. My parents however holiday here in Goa for 4 months of the year and my sister visits yearly so we knew they would be able to spend substantial amounts of time with us in Goa. We have actually built our house as a first floor layer of the family home,but with a seperate entrance so we have the family close by but are seperate and live our own life.This whole idea works and my daughter in particular benefits as she always has her family around downstairs but can come up and enjoy her own space in her own home whenever she needs to.(she has 12th house moon so needs her own space too). I have to admit it never occurred to me that the neighbours would feel the need to be such a big part of our life too!
The area is very safe ,no one has boundary walls,no roads and mostly the women stay at home all day so they all look out for the children while they play. However I dont allow my child to play out without my supervision because I feel like she is too young(another way that I think differently to them),and I acknowledge that she needs to play with friends and that they will come to the house but what happens is one comes and if i look away for 1 min theyve called another 5 friends up too.You have to understand they all live in extended families here,with 5/6 sisters/brothers/cousins in one house,something again I accept but am not used to.
Charmvirgo,you are right I have to set firm boundaries, I have laid down rules like no playing in the bedrooms,only 1 child in at a time,but they dont stick to them and I feel like Im constantly on at them and having to watch them,which is ok but not all the time,its very tiring!
Our area is rural and the children come from poor families so sending them all to cinema etc is impossible.They find us a novelty because we have a modern,european style house and live our life differently and of course look different.I have tried to contribute to the community,by helping provide books for the local school,supplying clothes to the poor families and I feel a real love for these people but I need to be able to come home to some normality. My next project is to create a play area for all the children to use,Im hoping this will ease my problem but it will take time to do.